Therese DuBravac: Tired Of Being Stuck In A Hamster Wheel Of Chronic Stress, This Former Architecture Decided To Leap, Knowing The Net Would Follow

I do really believe 100% from every part of me that everyone has the capacity to be able to do the things that they want and not to be held back by the mental baggage that's in our head that we want to push through.

Welcome to the do the Thing podcast. In each episode, we get down and personal with people who go after the things they want to make all their wildest dreams come true. Join us as we unveil and dissect a formula for what it takes to do the thing. Here is your host, Stacy Lauren.

Hey, everyone. Welcome to the do the Thing podcast. This is your host, Stacy Lauren. So this is so cool. I love when I get connected to someone and then get reconnected to them after many years, and it's almost. You have never been apart. And I met our next couple years of guest a fitness retreat. Gosh, I feel like it's been. Has it been seven years?

Well, yeah, it was in 2016. Oh, my gosh.

Okay. So I met our next guest at a fitness retreat seven years ago, or fitness camp, I think we called it. And it was such an amazing experience. It was the first time I had ever done anything like that, actually. And it was just great to be able to step away from the craziness that was in my life at the time and really just spend a week with amazing, amazing people and just got along really well. And we ended up going to a few other kind of retreats that we made up after that, and we just got reconnected. And she just told me that she left her job after 21 years. And I remember actually visiting her in Portland when she was still at that job. So I actually got to see, like, where she worked and everything and knew how much she loved it. So I was. After we got reconnected, I talked to her about her leaving her job, and I'm like, that's perfect, because do the thing. Quitting your job is, like, such a good one, because so many people get stuck in this idea of having to stay at your job forever and the fear of what would happen if you leave it. And I just. I think this is such an important concept because it's so easy to do that and not to break free and decide what else you want to do when you realize you're unhappy. So, anyway, so here I am welcoming Therese to the show. Hi, Therese.

Hello. Thank you. It's so good to see you again, Stacy. Or virtually see you.

I know, I know. I'm so. I'm so glad. I'm so glad to have you on here, too. So for the listeners, why don't you share about you and your background?

Okay. I went to architecture school. Well, it's kind of funny because I was at the University of Oregon for my first several years of college and then kind of dropped out and had always thought about doing architecture. And I remember saying this because this is kind of in parallel to what we're going to talk about today. And it hurt. It was very competitive to get into the program and all of that. And I thought, oh, gosh, you know, I don't know if I'll get in. And then I remember somebody said to me one day, they said, well, let them tell you no. And I was, oh, my God. And they're like, so what's the worst that happens? If you apply and you don't get in, then something else is going to be your path. So I applied and I got in and it was an amazing experience. Did the program and then actually right after graduating, got a job at a firm and then have been basically at the next employer that I was at for 21 years, as you said, and have just recently decided that I. I was ready for a change. And I kind of did it on one hand, spontaneous, because I didn't have a new job. I didn't have any real plan for what I would do when I left. I had lots of thoughts and ideas, but I really didn't know. And it kind of just happened. I mean, I had been thinking about it and then was really unhappy. And I had been unhappy for a really long time. And, you know, not because I didn't love the job I did, but there had been a lot of changes at the company. And I think I was, in hindsight, just kind of bored and wanting something a little different. And certainly the construction industry, which we were a design build company that I was at. So we were intricately connected to the build part of the design. So with all the supply chain issues and challenges there, it just had been a really stressful couple of years. Covid came, and for a couple weeks there was a lot of uncertainty if any of us would even have a job. But then business took off and I think for a while it was kind of, oh, it's just really chaotic and crazy and stressful. But it's businesses booming and a lot of people don't even have jobs. So just keep going and take one for the team, if you will. And then pretty soon, here we are almost three years into Covid, and I was in this. Felt like I was on this hamster wheel of just chronic stress. I had put my working out, my dating life, all of these things that are really important to me, completely on hold. And I just thought, this is not. I'm not living my life. I'm reacting to things happening to me. And I just felt something needed to change and I had some money that I could have a little time if I needed it, to find something and really kind of, I think, ask and believe in myself that my skill, my talents would find a good path for what I was supposed to do. And remember a long time ago, I had seen this when I was my summer before architecture school, I saw this sign. I worked up in Alaska to pay for college. And this woman had this sign over our work area, and it said, leap and the net will appear. And I've never forgotten that in 25 years. And that's kind of, I guess, what I did. And then I was actually, I was talking to somebody the other day at the Verizon store, actually, and he. I was telling him I just quit my job. And he said, he goes, well, my grandma used to always say to me, and it was so appropriate for this podcast in life. He said, a toxic job will change you long before you change it. I said, oh, my God, that is so perfect. It's true. I think we. Well, anyway, I'm getting. I'm kind of moving forward, but that's. My background is I've. I've just left and that's Kira.

I want to hear the rest of that. Do you mind the.

Yeah, yeah. So I. I guess I just feel like. I think it's easy to feel powerless in life and to feel or to complain. Oh, I don't have time for this. I don't have time for this. Oh, my job is really stressful. But the one thing I have done in the last probably year is I've thought a lot about what does happiness look like to me? If I could do anything, what would that look like? What would my ideal home life look like? What would my ideal relationship look like? What would my ideal career or way I make money? And there's different ways you can label it. Some people think of as income, as a job. Some people think of it as a career. I'm very blessed and that I've been so fortunate for, for 20, 20 to 25 years, if you count architecture school, to just do something that I love, I really love it. I. As a kid, before I could even write, I drew house plans. So it's in my blood. But I. There's other Ways to look at that. There's other ways to do that. There's, you know, I don't have to work for somebody else. Do I work for myself? Do I go work for another company? Do something that's sort of tangentially related to what I've done directly, what would that look like? And just kind of making a list of my values and my priorities in life and seeing where the crossovers are of if I know that I want to be active and fit and healthy. Are the choices I'm making in my life today giving me that? Do I want to be always thinking about work? Do I want to. I had a boss say to me several years ago, he said, you need to stop getting your emotional needs met by your job. And wow, that was a wake up call. And I think a part of it is because I do love what I do so much that there's a crossover to that. So how do I acknowledge that, but do it in a way that doesn't overwhelm or sort of take over the rest of my life? And you know, when I told people that I was leaving, so many people were like, oh, but you can't leave the profession, you're so good at it. And I said, well, I am, but it's not all of who I am and I have other talents and I have other skills and I have other things that bring me joy. And is there a way to do those? Like to take the best of what I do and what I'm good at, but maybe apply it to something else or even if I stay in the field, there's lots of other companies, there's lots of different models out there for how things could get done. And I just decided that I, I didn't want to continue to just be a slave to a position that I wasn't, that didn't fit me anymore. And I think that can be hard to acknowledge, to take that responsibility and say I'm not getting my needs met for all of my life and that's not fair to put onto a company. You have to as a person, I think, step back and say, what are those needs? What are those values? And is this the best place for me? And what's going to make me rejuvenated at the end of the day and not just exhausted and depressed. I mean, I feel like a few years ago when I would think about doing this same job for the rest of my life, I thought, oh my God, this for the rest of my life. Like, it's not that it was so bad But I like to learn new things, I like to grow, and I'm always reading. I'm a very avid reader and I do a lot of writing and I do a lot of creative outlets. And I felt like that I'd kind of run this course and when I thought of the future for the Next, whether it's 10 or 15, 20 years of working life or, you know, needing to make an income, what can that look like? And maybe just trying to imagine it a little more creatively and. And that belief in ourselves, it's. I remember when we were at fitness camp, we had these one on ones with coaches and it was interesting. One of the things that one of the coaches said to me was how I see you and how you see you are very different. And it was interesting for him to tell me what he saw and it was awesome to hear. And I think sometimes we don't see ourselves as amazing, unique people as maybe other people see us. And so to kind of listen to those people that are rooting you on and cheering you on, and if you're around people that aren't rooting you on or cheering you on or see how amazing you are anymore or, you know, or just letting you, helping you achieve that fullest potential, then it's okay to go somewhere else and find a place that allows you to really grow and change.

Yeah. So there's so much in that that I just love because you basically chose yourself and then the fact that you didn't take another job or look for another job before you left is, is so great because now you're having this time to explore yourself and really make decisions based on what's the most aligned with what you want, which I think is really amazing.

Well, and I think, you know, sometimes I'm very blessed that I have a couple of really amazing friends that have known me 25 years. And I think sometimes we will doubt ourselves, we will forget our compass. Where's our due north? And they. I just went out with a friend this weekend and I had said when I first quit, I'm not going to work for at least a few weeks. I'm not. Any job I take, I'm not going to start before October 1st. My priorities are finding work, life, balance, and I'm going to just really focus on working out and getting in shape. And here I had already started having all this anxiety about setting out resumes and, you know, my inbox kept getting full and I was like, oh my God, I've already accepted a job. But was it really the job I was wanting or dreaming of. Not really. And she kind of looked me in the eye and she said, what's the hurry? She's like, you told yourself you were going to take time. I believe in you. I know you're going to be awesome at whatever you do. You just need to believe it and sit back. Really. You're on a path. Yes. You. You quit. And there's a lot of unknowns right now, but trust in that. And you said something, Stacy, when we were talking the other day, that I just love that. The breadcrumb theory, how you. Oh, yeah, that. I think sometimes we fear the unknown. Right? We fear. We're so. At least for me, I'm a. I'm a planner. I like a path. I like to know plans, you know, five steps ahead of me. Well, sometimes it's so easy to get locked into planning that we miss. It's like if you're looking so forward at something, you may not even see the other side. Paths that are there that might lead to just as amazing but unexpected places. And so to take time for me to get off the hamster wheel, as I'm calling it, rediscover what it's like to just sit and breathe and not have all this bombardment of emails and deadlines and stress and people pulling you here, there, whatever, and just say, you know what? I'm going to be okay. When I don't believe it. I've got friends and family who love me and will remind me so to have that kind of support network, because you will doubt yourself. You will think, oh, my God, what did I just do? Am I crazy? But they'll remind you that you're going to be okay. That just take a deep breath and follow the breadcrumbs. Serendipitously, I happened to go on LinkedIn, got reconnected to you, we started talking. We've both made some big changes in our lives the last few years since we talked. And in talking to other people, I'm just kind of having all these sort of moments where I'm like, I am right. I'm on the right path. I know I am. And it feels really good to trust that. And I remember when we were at that fitness camp, so I went for three weeks and I had told all my clients and coworkers at the time, I said, assume that I'm leaving the planet. I'm not going to check voicemail. I'm not going to check email. I made sure all my jobs and clients were happy and settled for three weeks. And I Was not going to check in at work at all. And I went down there and I remember sometimes we'd be like on a hike or something, run or whatever. And I thought. I remember being very conscious of this feeling that, wow, this is what it's like to feel. Just feel life, to feel really no stress, that I was just rested, we were eating well, we were working out crazy every day. And it was so beautiful down there. And when I got back, I remember walking into the office and somebody says to me, wow, you're glowing. You look amazing. And I thought about it. And ironically, when I met with my trainer after quitting my job, she asked, well, what do you want? And I took a picture out of that. I had been back from fitness camp maybe a week, and I took out the picture and I said to her, I want to go back to being her. I want to be her again. Because somewhere along the line I lost her. And I don't blame anybody else for that. I blame my choices. And I want to go back to her. I want to be happy and healthy and live. Know that I'm living my life by choices and intentional choices, not by fear or consequences that happen to me. And I've just. I've never forgotten that time we were down there and how that. That felt to have. Listen to our bodies, to be. Whether it was a hike or just kind of being able to. The simplest things seem just amazing to me. We'd be like, remember we were on a hike one time. We were looking out over the Pacific Ocean and there was. I think it was one of the first times you and I really, like, spent a lot of time together. And I remember standing on this bluff and those dolphins were going by and. And I was like, there was this breeze and it was a beautiful sunny day there in San Diego, and. And I just thought, this is what life is. This is. This is the stuff that rejuvenates our soul. And I. I just so. I so badly want that. That in my life again. And that kind of abundance and it's possible to find that. I know it is.

How did you end up? You kind of talked a little bit about, like, how you got yourself to quit, but, like, what was the thing? Did you use that thing that you used before, which is like, what's the worst that's going to happen? Or was there some kind of other risk assessment?

Well, it's. It was kind of funny because I was really unhappy. And I'd actually had a meeting with HR a couple of weeks before that, venting to Her. So I really didn't know what else to do. And, and she actually said to me, she goes, you know, I, I would hate to see you leave, but have you thought about leaving? Like maybe you've outgrown the company. And I was, yeah, I think about it every day.

Yeah.

And we just kind of left it at that. And then I had even said it, we'd had a kind of this meeting, a team meeting with my kind of immediate team and I had requested a manager be there and, and I had asked for some things to kind of help with my team and, and basically was kind of just told like, well, no, like that's, we don't have to do that. And I just thought, and I even said, well, then maybe I'm at the wrong company. Well, somebody just fire me, put me out of my misery. Maybe I just, maybe it's me. Maybe I don't belong here anymore. Oh, no, no, you know, it's not you. No, nobody's saying that. Like, calm down. And I just really started feeling I had been. The image that kept coming to mind was that I had been standing on this diving board which represented leading for probably 10 years. But I was so afraid. I was afraid to leave because I believed in the company. I loved my job in a lot of ways. I loved my clients, I loved what I did on a day to day basis. But there was things that also made me unhappy and I just couldn't jump. I could not jump from this diving board. And then I remember that image just kept coming to mind and I kept thinking, well, what happens if you jump? And I'm a real. A lot of times I check in with how I feel about something through visual images and I really spent a lot of time thinking and kind of this image in my head of me standing on this diving board and realizing that the only way off this diving board was to jump. There was no going back. And I had wasted so much time standing there and that the time I wasted was actually making me a less likable employee because I was so frustrated, right? Like that frustration of, oh, I just, I, you're kind of busting at the seams. And so I had, I had set up a meeting a few weeks before that because like I said, we had a new CEO recently and I wanted to talk to him and just touch base with him on stuff. And I had set up the meeting with him and then thought, you know what, I'm going to cancel the meeting. It seemed like a moot point because I'm probably going to just quit anyway. But let me give me. Give myself, like, a couple months to figure out what I'm going to do next. And so he didn't. So I declined. I canceled my attendance in this meeting. Well, because he didn't schedule it. He didn't get that a meeting was canceled. It's just that I had declined it and he didn't have notice that. So he had come down to find me, and he's. Are we meeting? And I said, I. Oh, I like to climb it, actually. I said, I'm sorry. Guess you didn't see it. He goes, no, it's still on my calendar. And then he goes, well, is it important? Because, you know, if you still want to meet, I've still got on my calendar. And I thought, well, God, do it. What do I do? And I really want to do. Like, I was really. At this point, I'm leaning off the tip of the diving board and. And then I thought, what the hell? Just pull the band aid off. This is never going to get easier. It's. You're never going to. There's never going to be a perfect time. You're never going to be. But, like, because of the line of work I did, you're never going to have this nice, even perfectly little ending and beginning. It's always. You're always between jobs, you're always between clients. You're always kind of juggling multiple projects. And so I said, what the hell? I said, yeah, I'll be up. Give me a couple minutes and I'll come up. So I went up to his office and I closed the door and I said, well, I think it's time I leave after 21 years. I'm calling it a day. And he was like, what? And I said, yeah. I said, I'm. I'm done. I said, I just can't. I'm not happy anymore, and I need to change something. And he goes, well, do you have something else? I said, no, I don't. I said, I just know that this isn't where I belong anymore. I'm just. I'm not happy. And amazingly, you know what his answer was?

What?

He said, oh, that's what it is. He goes, none of us are happy. We all hate our jobs. We're all miserable. Like. Like somehow that wasn't enough to leave. And I remember thinking, as he's saying that, wow, I don't want to be one of those people that just is okay being miserable. I don't want that. That's not who I am. And that kind Of, I think, reinforced my decision at that time that our previous owner. He's still the owner, but the one thing I had said to him years ago, as I said, well, you've got a hard job. I don't always agree with you 100%, but you are our leader, and I would follow you into battle because I trust you and I know you. You're in this 200%. And I. And when somebody. When the person that you're kind of falling into battle, if you will, following into battle is themselves, doesn't have that conviction, I think I realized I may not have a plan here, but this isn't the path for me.

Yeah. And he basically gave you evidence by.

Him saying, yeah, exactly.

Yeah.

And so I just once I. We asked, like, when do I want to leave? Blah, blah, blah. And. And, yeah. And then it kind of just went from there. And I think I was in a little bit of shock myself for a few days. Just, wow, I really did it. I jumped off the board or this diving board. And it's been. I mean, it was weird for a few days. I was really emotional about it. And the only way I could describe it is we've all been in, like, a dating relationship where, you know, it's not right anymore. You know, it's not going anywhere. You know that you're both unhappy. But when do you leave? When do you. How do you say to leave? Because it's not horrible. Like, you could just kind of continue on and be, I guess, okay, be comfortable to some extent. And so when I left, it was like, it was kind of grieving that part of my life that for 21 years had been. It had been a constant. I mean, I literally started my first day of work. I started there. My mother was diagnosed with cancer, and I literally went to my first day of work and had to say, my mom has cancer. I have to go be with her. I don't know when I'm going to be back. I don't know how much I can even work in the next few months. It's all really unknown. And they were amazing. They said to me, family is the most important thing when you want a job, we're here. And it really. And then I got. Like. When my mom died a few months after that, I got cards and flowers from people I had never even met. And that's what made. That was the culture that I knew there. Right. And I remember saying to people, well, they're going to take me out of here on a gurney. Because the values and the company that this is, is amazing. But somewhere along the line that culture and I changed. Yeah.

So what about the values work you're doing now? Like, what has that been like for you?

Well, it's been, it's been really interesting because I've been working on my values like self worth and mostly in regards to say dating or relationships the last few years. So in some regards, I don't know if I could have done what I've done these last few months around work had I not done that work in regards to my own personal life of dating and like, what do you deserve in a partner and what does that look like? And I had a therapist one time say to me that, you know, our patterns in life and how we see things, see ourselves or see whatever is like a really well worn bike trail. And to change that bike trail that we're on takes a lot of effort because the default is always going to want to go back to that well grooved line in the, in the dirt. And, and I've thought about that and they've said change and they even said you will. When you go to meet somebody that is really amazing and, and wonderful for you, it may feel really uncomfortable because that's in a. Your, your bike is now in a new lane that it's not traveled before. So, and I think in the past, for myself, it's easy to stay in patterns because that's what we know. So whether it's our work life, whether it's dating, our marriage, whatever, it's really easy to stay in something because that's what we know. And in my looking at that, those patterns and dating and what I want in a partner, it's kind of, I've really accepted the fact that it's going to feel uncomfortable the first few times because that's just not in my childhood, that's just not what I grew up kind of knowing all the time. So I think with my switching careers, I've kind of accepted that I'm going to feel uncomfortable and that's okay, that the unknown and the uncomfortable embrace it instead of being scared of it. And I think just, you know, this is kind of a silly example, but like I said, I use visualizations a lot and metaphors and analogies. And I had said to my therapist a few years ago, talking about dating, I said what I want in a partner, I said there. So there's this at our local grocery store, there's this, you could go up and they have this like sandwich bar and you could fill out the little form and you get to say, want turkey, no mayonnaise, lettuce, red onion, you know, whatever. And I said, when I think about what I want in life, I feel like I've just kind of been handed whatever sandwich they had left over. And I didn't complain. Oh, you have a turkey. Oh, great. Oh, it's got mustard on mustard, but that's okay. I'll live with that. And I told my therapist at the time, I said, I want to be able to see myself going up to this sandwich bar and ordering what I want. And if, you know what, if they mismake the sandwich, I'm going to not accept it and I'm going to say no, I'm going to wait for the one I want. And that was. When I started that several years ago, that seemed impossible. And I realized when I had that visualization of how I'd just been kind of accepting what I was handed and that I didn't want to just be handed stuff anymore, that I deserve to say what I want and to. You have to be a jerk about it. I'm not going to go up there and yell at the person making the sandwich or handing it to me, but I, I deserve to fill out my little card and say I want it turkey and I want it toasted and I want mayonnaise but no mustard and I want the lettuce put on after you toast it or whatever. Yeah. And that I felt in the last probably year that I could do that life to me was, if you think of this metaphor in life of this sandwich bar that I was in a place to, I wasn't going to settle for just what they had from day yesterday.

Yeah. And what you're doing is you're, you're using that muscle, right. Of asking for what you want. So then when it comes to doing something else that maybe not be a safer, something bigger. So it's so good. I love that a lot.

Exactly. I don't think I could have done. I don't think I could have left because my job, like I said, it's been just my rock for my most of my adult life. And to leave, that was kind of the last. Like, wow, you're, you're leaving your job. And I've dated and left relationships a lot of times kicking and screaming because I was hard to face the music. But I did it. And I think now I'm realizing just that, that self worth and you know, the, the right that we all have to ask for what we want.

So good. Oh, I have to ask you Too about Alaska, you mentioned that.

Was that the.

Did you do the fish? The fish?

Yeah. I worked in a cannery. So I worked out on the dock where the boats would come in. They would basically. God, we. I'd get there usually right around 4th of July weekend. And then literally we would work 20 to 24 hours a day. And you would, you. I got to the point where I could, we could all be a break, you know, have a break every two hours and I could literally fall asleep on a box of cardboards and have like the best 15 minute nap in my life and then get up and do it all over again. But I tell you, it taught me what I'm capable of in terms of hard work. It taught me how to put my strength in my brain. I mean, when you're standing there for 20 to 24 hours, usually standing by one of eight people, you get to know each other pretty well and you talk about everything in life. I mean, I've told people up on that, on that doc that I've never told another living soul because you just have this bond together. And I'll never forget my last summer doing it. I mean, the feeling. I just started crying when I got in the cab to take to the airport because I was like, I did it. I did this five summers. And it helped me pay for college. But it was also hugely character building. And it, it really taught me the value of that. I'm a hard worker and I can do whatever I need to do to survive.

Yeah, it's funny, I've never, I've never heard anyone that's done that job. But I, I had, I've actually mentioned it on this podcast before. I, when I was in college, I chose between that job, that Alaska job, because they did the whole. I mean, it was some ad and then the newspaper back then either make whatever it was, 10 grand, 20 grand, whatever it was over in Alaska, or sell bookstore to door. And I ended up doing the sell book store to door. And I got the character building from that. So it's funny how we both like went on this path and then that's what gave us that foundational kind of discipline, grit skills. So, yeah, that was, that looked like a really, really hard job, though.

Yeah, it was. I mean, it was. Yeah, just the isolation, the. You're so tired. I mean, I'd come back from there every summer and I just sleep for like a week. And it was always a weird transition too. You just have this insane experience all summer and then, you know, your friends would hear you Were coming back into town and be like, oh, we're going out for a beer. You should come. And I remember, like, the first few summers I'd go and I would feel I was on the moon. I mean, it was just. I can't make small talk. You're everything. Because it's. It's the cannery. You're on the dock. So on one hand, you have this contrast of this amazing, beautiful Southeast, because I was in both Southeast and then I was up in Knack Knack, which is kind of near the Katmai National Forest, right at the beginning of the Aleutian Islands. And so the stunning beauty. But you had then these canneries that are like gray and industrial hideousness. In fact, I wrote my essay to architecture school on architecture has the ability to elevate us beyond our humanity, but bad architecture can deprive us and show us how awful the built environment can be. And just. I said it much more eloquently in the essay, but it was. It was an interesting contrast. A time of contrast up there, for sure.

Is that what inspired. Well, it sounded like you were already interested in architecture, but did that inspire you even more to get into it?

Yeah, for sure. Because, I mean, I had. When I dropped out of college the first time I had gone and lived in France for. Ended up being about 12 months. And then so I did that, which I was amazed at, walking through Europe, especially in Paris. I mean, it's just so stunningly beautiful and the history and the power of a cathedral or whatever you were looking at. And then I also was fortunate that I. I spent a year in my 20s. I think my grandma thought I had lost my mind. But I came back from. I'd worked at a resort in Alaska for a year. And then I was coming back and I was, okay, I'm going to move somewhere other than Portland. So I bought a Subaru and I got in my car, My Subaru packed every living thing I had, every worldly possession. And I decided I had, like five cities, the country that I was going to go see anyway. I ended up kind of living out of my car and stopping at friends and family across the country. And I did that for just over a year. And I also learned in that time I saw so many different environments. I mean, you see cities like Manhattan and Dallas, and yet you'd see arches, the national parks, or the American Southeast. And these. These cities that are old and so much history almost. Some places were just kind of. You could just feel the history oozing out of Them and that these places and these. You know, that I often think, God, if these walls or these trees could talk and tell the story of the families and the lives that have experienced them. And it's that. That I approach design and architecture with, is that it's really a shell. That is the place we experience life. I've always thought you could have, like, a recorder in every house and you could replay the memories. And those were powerful memories. In fact, it was funny. I didn't think I really realized the profoundness until I had been at my job for probably 10, 12 years, and every now and then we would have to cover the phones for when potential clients would call in. And this one day, I was. That was my job. I was on the phones. And this lady calls in and we get to talking, and she's. She's needing a few things done at her house. And it was going to be more of. We had a handyman division, and that was really what she was wanting. And so I was taking her down her information and. And she. I said, okay, what's your address? And she says, 31. And I write that. And she's 15. And I'm like, oh, that's funny. That was. That was the numbers of my house growing up. And she's like, northeast. And then she says the street name. And I about fell over. And I said, you are not going to believe it, but that. That was my childhood home. And she said, are you serious? So your mom was Betty? And I said, yeah. And we. So then I said, oh, is the Holly Hobby wallpaper still in the front bedroom, which was my room? And she's like, yeah. And I got off the phone, Stacy, and I went into the bathroom and I just started bawling. And I thought. In fact, it still kind of makes me emotional to think about. Like, I thought of all those times in that house with my mom and my sister. And, you know, it's those profound. I mean, we didn't have a fancy house, but it was our house. And for good and for bad and for ugly. And every family in the world faces this. Those walls are what contain your life. And they are the same walls that are going to share beautiful, happy memories and birthdays and weddings, but they're also the same walls that are going to see losses and sadness and fights and disagreements and divorce and death and the power as an architect and. Or designer that you. The responsibility and the huge honor that we are given to make those spaces amazing for people, no matter. And they don't have to be expensive it can be the simplest thing. I mean, I. One of my most rewarding jobs I ever did was for a woman. It was like half of a kitchen remodel. The kitchen could not have been more than like 6 by 6ft. And we were literally kind of. We took down a wall and we put some cabinets in there, give her kind of like a little bar seating and storage area. And I'll never forget, she. We were all done and I went over to say goodbye and all that, and I said, what do you think? And she looks at me and she started crying and she said, I don't deserve this much happiness. And I said, oh, yes, you do. I said, yes, you do. And I gave her a big hug and I. It was. That kind of dovetails into what I was. What our conversation is today is don't ever doubt that you do deserve that much happiness, like we all deserve that. It. And it doesn't have to be mean. You make. Win the lottery and become rich. It can be your little slice of what that looks like with whatever you can afford, whatever you can, who you have in your life, whatever your. Your support network is or whatever. And to lean into that and to believe in your own worthiness is. Is, I think for most of us, it's. It's a. It's got to be a choice. Yes. There are things in life we can't change. And I think when we make peace with that and accept that, then we can move forward and build on what we do have. You know, I. I lost both of my parents when I was young, and it took me a long time to accept that and. Sorry, but I had a friend say to me one time, she said, I know it's not what you thought life would be, but it's your life and it's your journey. And she said, instead of looking back and wishing it was another way, accept it for what it is, because it's yours. And I've never forgotten that. And I think that we all just need to embrace that in our lives. That life can be scary and it can give us curveballs, but it's how we practice gratitude and a belief that nothing comes our way that we can't handle. I do believe that 200%. And just to walk with an open heart and to be open to discovery even when there's not a path that's clearly outlined for your future.

Yeah, I just feel so touched by that and the way you express it, it sounds so tender. And I love that you're able to. To frame it in a way that is able to inspire not only yourself, but other people.

I hope so.

I'd love to hear if you have any thoughts on if you have a number one or do you have a number one piece of advice that would help people that want to do the thing and whether that's quitting their job.

Leaving a marriage or whatever.

Yeah, we're going to Alaska and cutting some fish, traveling to Italy for a year. Whatever it is.

Right. Leap in the net will appear. I mean, I truly believe that my worst fear in life has been to fail to not be able to pay my mortgage. And you know what? I've never missed that. I've always paid my bills, I've always had a roof over my head. And I think give yourself the benefit of the doubt. Believe in yourself. Build a support network around you that reminds you how amazing you are and that you are loved. When you forget, try to whether it's putting a post it on your mirror in the morning or one thing I've done in the past I got. They make these big post it notes that are on for an easel for like a probably company meetings or something. And I went through it and I put all these words on there of what I wanted in a partner. And that was a visualization tool for me. So I think. And also spend time alone. Like spend time really in quiet and sitting with yourself and believing that you do have answers inside of you and it's okay if you don't hear them at first. Embrace uncertainty, right? Instead of making it this super scary thing, embrace it and realize that it's in those moments of uncertainty that when we keep moving forward, you'd be surprised what reveals itself to you. And for some people, some of my best thoughts are I live near a kind of a forest area and I go there and walk a lot. And it's for me that's where I think of a lot of things. Now for some other people, it might be going to yoga, it might be their morning run. It might be just sitting at home and enjoying a cup of tea or something. Or for some people, praying and going to a church. I think just listening to that silence and having faith in yourself and your support networks, that's I think those are the key.

So good. Well, thank you so much for doing this with me. This was so amazing. I really appreciate you. Like the timing was perfect too. I feel this is such a good time for us to record and then maybe we'll revisit this.

We'll.

We'll talk before then. I hope I like we'll revisit the episode again in another year.

Yeah. Yeah, that'd be fun to see where I end up in a year. That'd be awesome. Awesome. Well, it was such a pleasure, Stacy. I loved it. It was great. Thank you for listening to me. Good.

Thank you.

Bye Bye.

Thanks for listening to the do the Thing podcast. We hope you enjoyed the show. But even more, we hope you'll be inspired to do the thing. Do you have a burning question on Doing the Thing that you'd like answered? How about an inspiring do the Thing story of your own that you blind like to share? We'd love to hear all about it. Just leave us a voice message at dothing callcast. Co or email us at hello at dothingpodcast. Com.