They Serve Us But Who Serves Them? | First Responders Panel on Awareness, Wellness & Culture Change

I do really believe 100% from every part of me that everyone has the capacity to be able to do the things that they want and not to be held back by the mental baggage that's in our head that we want to push through.

Welcome to the do the Thing podcast. In each episode, we get down and personal with people who go after the things they want to make all their wildest dreams come true. Join us as we unveil and dissect a formula for what it takes to do the thing. Here is your host, Stacy Lauren.

Hey, everyone. Welcome to the do the Thing podcast. This is your host, Stacy Lauren. All right, you guys. Well, here we go. We are really doing the thing now, and we are ready to really help support the people that serve our world and our country and our homes and all the people that are kind of being impacted by people that serve others. And we recently did a expert panel on helping support veterans and first responders through transitioning times. And what led from that expert panel is now we get to actually focus on first responders and being able to create awareness around first responders and being able to support them and their families and also create awareness and work on funding the organizations that are actually supporting them well. And so I'm so excited, you guys to be doing this. And the experts that have been gathered today are really remarkable in their spaces. And I'm really grateful for Katherine Avery for being able to kind of put this panel together. And she's the founder of Restoration Ranch, and you guys will get to hear more about her story in a little bit. But I just wanted to honor you, Katherine, and what you're doing in the world with your organization and just the light that you bring and how you're able to really serve on such a massive level. So, yeah, we're going to start off. Welcome, you guys. So welcome to each of you. Thank you so much for being here, and I'd love to have you each just introduce yourself and, yeah, just share who you are, what you're doing, and why you're excited to be here on this panel where we get to help people become aware of what first responders are doing and also be able to support those people that are serving us as well. Katherine, if you wanna start. Sure.

And then I'm so happy to see that Bob is here today. So yay. Hi, Bob. Yay. So I'm Katherine Severns Avery. I am the founder and executive director of Restoration Ranch Colorado. The nonprofit was started in 2021. So we're entering our fourth year and before my husband Chris was killed on December 4th of 2020 by robbery suspects who were fleeing from police, he was on his way to go pick up GR groceries and never came home. Chris was a civilian. I'm a civilian. We had never had any real interaction with the first responder community. And the more I dug in and learned about who these people are, what they do, the sacrifices that they made and make on an ongoing basis astounded me. And I really became upset at my own ignorance, the blissful ignorance that 95% of the population has as to what first responders do for us each and every day. And when I recognized that Chris's call was only one call that people responded to, that day really shook me. And when I went to take food on Chris's birthday the year after he was killed, to the police department, which had been so good to me after he died, I was in roll call at 8 o' clock in the morning and was listening to a officer talk about an incident the day before where a 14 year old boy had stabbed his mother more than 30 times. And he was sharing in graphic and uncensored language what was going on that day. And I kept on asking myself, why is he here? I don't understand this. So when I was able to pose that question to command staff, I was told, well, he doesn't want to be at home thinking about this by himself. He may not want or need mental health counseling at this point and there is no other place for him to go. And that struck me as so fundamentally and morally wrong, I made a decision to do something about it. And through a whole series of very serendipitous events. Go to our website to learn the story. Restorationranchcolorado.com I was able to purchase a 40 acre property in the foothills of Colorado, about 40 minutes from downtown Denver. And we now provide recreation and respite opportunities for first responders and their families. And we have a very expanded version of who is a first responder. So we include dispatch, fire and ems, law enforcement, including corrections and park rangers, frontline medical personnel, victim advocates, coroner's office officials, and members of the judiciary and their families. We are growing exponentially. In our first year we had less than 100 people come. This year we're on track for more than 1,000, which lets me know that this is something that is desperately needed and it is my intention to open one of these respite kind of places. We are not mental health. I want to be clear about that. When you come to the ranch, we want you to come before you are in crisis, knowing that time in a serene, secluded location where you are by yourself on 40 acres, with your family, with your friend, whoever you want to bring, you're welcome to do that. And we believe that that is healing and restorative enough. I want one of these in every state in the United States. And through an incredible set of fortuitous circumstances, I know all of the people who are here today, and they are an integral part of our mission.

Thank you so much. And Mayor.

My name is Mayor. I'm a dreamlifter. I help people power up and activate their bucket list. So I'm imagining a world where people live with less regrets. And I had the pleasure of meeting Katherine's husband, Chris, the Thanksgiving before the incident, and I have been dreamlifting her and Restoration Ranch, Colorado, ever since. As far as first responders go, I've been a director for Veterans Green Jobs, where we helped veterans coming back from Afghanistan and Iraq learn how to become H VAC professionals or in the industry of weatherization for homes. And also my cousin Adam was shot and killed his rookie year serving a warrant. So I'm also aware of the fragile and the danger that first responders just show up. The helpers that help us and we don't. They're often invisible, not even always visible. And so that's where I come in as far as the scope. My main thing. Dreamlifting, Katherine.

Helpers that help us and are often invisible. It's so powerful, right, that we're doing this because we're wanting to create the awareness.

Right.

Of that. And it's like so often people don't even know the power that is happening. So, yeah, thank you. And Lynette.

Hello, everyone. My name's Lynette Shaw. I am the founder of the Lynn Shaw Group. I was on a police job up in New Jersey for about 27 years as a police officer and also fugitive investigations for 13 years before that. I created this business in response to crisis that first responders go through every single day. And the things that we see, we bury them. And we were never really taught to talk about it. And so my hashtag is just talkaboutit. I train first responders all over the country. Fire, police, dispatch veterans, and also because many times community members don't understand what we go through and how difficult it is to serve when you have a family at home and you have a life other than the job. But we see such horrific things that I think many of us don't realize the effect that it has on not only our families, but on our mental health. So I teach about mental health and wellness, how to take care of yourself while serving others. That's our hearts. First responders hearts are all to serve others. And we run into gunfire when other people run out of it. And we run into fires when other people run out of fires. And we don't even know the people that we serve, but we serve with our whole hearts. And so I'm excited to be on your podcast because I think many people and many first responders won't talk about it because we have to be the superhero we are known as. We can do anything. And the truth is, is that we are human. We have hearts, we have families. And oftentimes those things suffer greatly because of other people not knowing the effect and us not wanting to share in that regard.

So, yeah, thank you so much. I'll show you. I have this step by step sequence of what helps someone be able to actually share their story, because it's really important for all of us to be able to kind of come out of that hiding space and be able to actually open up and share what's going on, because otherwise we're just suffering in silence, too. So thank you. And Todd.

Hi. So currently I'm a commercial real estate broker. I'm sorry, I must have set up my little screen name during COVID Now I can't figure out how to turn it off. But I spent about 13 years in different roles as a first responder. About 10 of those years, I was a paramedic firefighter in one of the big suburban Denver fire agencies. And I literally woke up one morning and could no longer do the job. It's a mental health thing. And at the time I was doing it, the culture was suck it up and get back to work. Well, that doesn't always work. It did not work for me, or at least it didn't for terribly long. So now I'm kind of trying to help change the culture, get to a point where people can talk about the fact that you can't always just suck it up. So I'm very excited to be a part of trying to change that culture, get the message out there that mental health is a thing. PTSD does happen to first responders, not just veterans.

Thank you. Oh, my gosh. That whole idea of sucking it up. Right? And I think that's what we're conditioned to do, especially for people that are serving in the way that you guys serve, because it's like you have to go to the next call, to the next thing there's no time to think. There's no time to even. That's where Restoration Ranch comes in. Right. There's no time to restore because you're so in that trauma response or in the need to help and serve others.

Yeah.

Thank you. And Jeff, hello.

I'm in a very small town in Colorado right now training, and the signal's really weak, but here goes. My name is Jeff Santelli. It's an honor to be here and to be working with these fabulous people that you're hearing from today. I spent 35 years of military and civilian dedication to serving others. On the civilian side, I was with two Colorado law enforcement agencies when I retired and was thinking, what am I going to do now? I created a training company and that has really allowed access to serve even more people. I also teach in the academic world and do a few other things and look forward to progressing with this conversation. Thanks so much.

Thank you so much for being here. And Robert, or is it Bob?

You call me Bob.

Thank you.

That's the most common name I've known. Bob. Robbie. Robert. Bob. I mean, so that's all good. It's great to be here with this group. Good to see you and share some of our stories. Parts of our stories for me. I did a little over 32 years in the fire service, fire EMS, just about every rank. I started as a volunteer in Woodbridge, Virginia, a fairly substantive volunteer fire department. My father was a colonel in the Air Force and he loved serving others in the fire department. So I followed him. And after about a year and a half, I decided to apply for the job of a firefighter, which before that, I didn't even know that you could do that and get paid for it because I loved it so much. So I started with Arlington County Fire Department and did the remainder of my time in the fire service, which was 30 years with them. And it was. It's heavy. It's heavy enough that in about 1990 I started learning about critical Incident Stress management other folks know as cism. And I was asked once I got promoted to captain to lead that team for our department for the county. So I accepted the job. And one of the first things we did is we started a course to prepare people for behavioral health issues for stress. And that did not agree with the CISM program. So we changed the name of it to Traumatic Exposure Recovery Program. Turp. We do and have proven that we can prepare ourselves for significant events and all events. That first responders run larger and small can have a huge effect on us. But when we started that, I worked with the EAP team and we built a training program called Trauma Immunization Program. And I wrote the fire department piece and EMS part of it. And Dodie wrote the kind of behavioral. Behavioral health, but the stuff that relates to drinking and sleeping and all that other stuff. And we taught the entire fire department and completed the course after eight months, less than six months from when 911 occurred. And the Pentagon sits in our jurisdiction in Arlington. So it was a huge advantage, I think, that we gained from everybody being taught that we taught all ranks. And through that program, Doty ended up getting a SAMHSA grant that supported getting us through this, which took close to two years to get everybody through all these issues, because we not only had that. That was the epitome of an event that causes threats, but we had so many, many other things that we were holding onto and hiding. But to put that a little shorter, I have the data. Dody passed away, Dodie guilt. And I still have the data from the SAMHSA grant. It has to be very carefully utilized because there are names on it. Redaction is extremely important. But we have proven that 75% of first responders who were diagnosed with PTSD can return to their normal jobs, not just be behind a desk. That is not a common belief even to this day in the fire service and pd, even the military. Okay. So what I did is I retired, moved to Texas, had a severe brain injury and barely survived that. And three years, four years after that, I started to write a book. And my book covers everything from the first day of 911 to the brain injury and survival and how to keep yourself up, think positive. All these things is truly, truly important. And take care of others still, I will never give up my passion in helping others. And I do that to this day. I started a company called RT Grace Strategies, llc. And I do the same thing that Lynette does and many others. This is a goal, to change a culture. And Todd said that that's one of my chapters. The culture needs to change. Even today, people believe and are told at times that if that bothered you, you don't belong here. Okay? But we're all normal people, and some can tuck it away and hide it and some cannot. But that is probably even a better thing to realize that maybe it's time to find something different to do to save your soul, to save your spirit. So I think what we do is really, really important. I still teach preparedness. My book covers a lot of that stuff. The name of the book is Shoring up ourselves. And I just finished a big conference in West Virginia where I spoke to all the folks volunteer career, which is a strange collaboration between you folks of fire department organizations. It's kind of like this. They don't agree with each other. They don't think they're the same. But really and honestly, we are all, all the same. Our passion, it's identical. The training is identical. There should be no judgment there. And the union changes a lot of that stuff. That's not important right now. But being with this group, going through all this stuff, Many of us speak through our own experience. And to be very honest with you, experience outweighs a lot of other knowledge. So if you can mix the two, you knowing about behavioral health, knowing about the amygdala, knowing about ptsd, even having experience, that makes a big difference for others when we reach out to them and help them get along and make good decisions and how to not take so much home and only take the right things home and have a full contact with your family. Don't let all of the stress that you get put you in a kit that you can't get out of. That's so standard in all first responders, the true first responders. So this is a great group. The conversations we've had so far as Katherine continues to build, this is just amazing. And what a good match. What a good match to be working with these folks.

Incredible. Thank you so much, Katherine. I'd love to hear, just as everyone's sharing what's coming up for you right.

Now, I'm going to get very emotional. I could not ask to be surrounded with finer people to work with who have embraced me because I'm a civilian. I mean, I might as well be from Mars as far as some members of first responder agencies consider us. But it's a sampling of the kind of people who were with Chris when he died. And to know that my husband was surrounded by four of the finest human beings I could have ever asked to be there if I couldn't. And when I do my presentations about Restoration Ranch, I talk about, you have to find a purpose for your pain. And that's as much true for first responders as it is for someone who goes through a traumatic incident like I did, having Chris killed. And I think the more we have this conversation and the more we educate the civilian population about why things happen the way they do, it's so important. I was lucky enough to participate in the Jefferson County Sheriff's Department's citizens Academy, which opened up my Knowledge to a whole new level about all the things that sheriff's deputies go through and that in the county I live in, it's 915 square miles that they have to patrol. And to realize how stretched thin they are that recruiting and retention right now are incredibly difficult because of the burnout and the just work related injury, either psychological or physical that can happen. But most importantly, people think that they're entering a career as a first responder for a very long time. They think, I'm going to be here 20, 30 years, get my gold badge and go home. Well, you can be medically retired in an instant if you're injured on the job or if the stress of the work gets to be too much. So I tell people I educate, advocate and agitate on behalf of the first responder community because there are so many more things that we need to be aware of and working on. And Restoration Ranch Colorado has started a program called Colorado Puts First Responders First. And we are looking at specific initiatives that will help with recruiting and retention, but more importantly with the health and well being of first responders. And those include figuring out how to get 24 hour daycare facilities for first responders. If we did that, so many first responders who are couples and one has to choose to stay home because childcare is too expensive so they can't both work or it's just like that's ridiculous. So we're trying to figure out how to make that happen to create a grab and go healthy meal program. Because if you don't plan and take your lunch with you on the road, you're like at 3:00 clock in the morning, there is very little that's healthy to eat that you can get access to. Because police officers will not go through a drive through because they have no idea what will be put into their food. We don't have to think about that as customers, but law enforcement does and we also don't. If we were able to give them the opportunity to have something healthy to eat and then go walk for 20 minutes after that meal, they can drop their cortisol level, which is the main contributor to plaque in the heart, which leads to the average police officer having their first heart attack at just 42 years of age. And a police officer lives 22 years less than an average citizen. And I don't know any other occupation in which that would be acceptable. Our two other initiatives include creating American Ninja warrior style gyms for training where you're not going into a conventional gym but you're Jumping off of walls and learning how to land safely. You're doing all of the things that you would have done in academy, in training to learn how to pursue someone, but you now have the opportunity to do that regularly to keep up your fitness level. And that would really help with workman's comp claims and just injuries on the job to allow people to have job specific training. And then the last one is in particular Colorado's expensive place to live. California is an expensive place to live. We need to create a series of housing stipends to support first responders in their homes. Because if you have to live an hour away because you can't afford to live in the town in which you work, that adds an additional toll that we're asking people to pay when they're already sacrificing so much.

Thank you. And can you share? Because I know there's so many organizations out there supporting first responders in different ways. Right. And you are one of the core ones that's doing that from a funding perspective. What is that like, how hard is it to get funding?

Oh, I play the lottery regular. It is a constant challenge. And it's not just first responder specific organizations. In the state of Colorado, there are 40,000 nonprofits all competing for the same donor dollars. So for me, it was imperative to find, I'll call them, unconventional funding strategies. And that's one of the reasons why being part of do the Thing and the challenge bank that you're creating is income stream. For us to be able to say, hey, by training people how to find their voice and to stretch their comfort zones and to go after the things that they want in life with this remarkable model of support through the work that you do. It's another funding opportunity for organizations like mine. And that is something that we're always looking for new revenue streams. And this group will tell you I'll try pretty much anything as long as it's legal and moral.

Yeah. And I think it's important for people listening to hear. Right. There's these organizations that are like, I have all these big goals and these big dreams and I'm able to help support people in such a big way now we need to have the funding to be able to do that. And so I'd love to share with you guys and for those of you listening, because this is the, I think the first time I'm revealing it in this way. So here we go. We're going to see how this sounds and then we're going to brainstorm what's Going to help people, both organizations, first responders, companies, be able to not only create awareness, but be able to help.

People grow through it.

Because one of the things I really loved, actually I heard this from several of you, is how do we change the culture? Right? How do we change that culture? How do we go from talking about the thing to doing the thing? How do we help people express their voice to be able to get out of the silently struggling, to be able to actually mar. Help me bring it out. I'm like, what's the word I'm looking for? Bring it out.

So what I find in where you're going with the do the thing is that it allows us to take what we know in our hearts because we've experienced whatever through the first responder cycles, and we know that better is possible. What I find the do the thing formula allows is for that dream, that heart song to be realized. It moves it in a collective. So it's no longer just my dream, it becomes our dream. And because of the collective movement and action voice of the first responders needs for it to look different, it becomes available because you're not carrying the weight of it by yourself.

And I think it's important for the folks that are here that don't know what we're talking about. So Stacy's program involves a series of dares or challenges or nudges that are implemented over a 17 day period. And you are in a cohort of peers that support you in finding your voice and in stepping through the different levels of your comfort zone to be able to move forwards towards a goal or an idea. And for me, what was so powerful about that was the safety of that container. And we know with the first responder community that need for confidentiality and privacy of information that is being shared, you have to have that kind of a safe container for people to be willing to strip off their clothes and get naked emotionally. You have to have that. And so what's wonderful is that all of the first responder representatives who are on this call today are very familiar with that process and what it takes to do it. So that was why I thought it was important to incorporate them into figuring out what would a first responder challenge look like. What would be valuable? What would be the kinds of questions that would be important to peel back the onion during that 17 day process to create something that's meaningful, impactful, empowering and enduring. Because I think that this program has such incredible potential for this particular application.

Yeah. As for anyone listening and for you guys as well, Just to give you context, so we could start brainstorming in just a few minutes. And I cannot wait to hear what you say. And everything's open. Just so you know, even if you have no idea, you're just going to say, I have no idea, and then we're going to start talking. But basically, let's do the thing right at the core. So I've developed this formula to help a person take action, but when it's inside of a group, it helps the group take action. Sometimes the action is actually just an internal reflection. Other times the action is something outward, like a new skill or something like that. Like that. And so I'm going to show you guys. I show this in different ways, but I'm showing it for the first time in a way of funding a nonprofit, because this finally just got clearer. But basically, if we think about what we were talking about, about people holding their stories and holding their voice internally, because we're so busy kind of going through the motions of what we need to do to serve, a lot of times people can start at the horse mode. And so my vision is there's a lot of ways that I use this map, but now I have a vision for how to work it to help support a nonprofit, not only to help them support their people that they're serving, but also to support the donors and sponsors and all these people, and to be able to spread the message and create awareness and be able to fund the mission. And so horse mode is where a lot of times people start. That's where something like Restoration ranch or another organization I'm supporting right now is saddles and service, which is where the horse came from initially. There's the horse place, right. Where Catherine's organization, for example, is serving people through reset. And then, for example, satas and service, they're doing it through equine therapy. And then now we get to put people through something of a find your voice challenge. That basically helps people feel safe to be able to reflect and express in ways that feel comfortable to them. Everything is based on an individual's comfort circle. And so they basically do the action, and then they share inside of a small safety container of a group. And then what happens when they go through that circle? They then are comfortable sharing their voice. And maybe that's when they start speaking or creating a course or writing a book, which so many of you have done.

Right?

A lot of you are talking about the share your voice part of the circle. And that's when we get to start creating awareness, because now the People that are getting impacted are able to share their voice, maybe even going on a podcast or an expert panel being able to do it that way. And then there's the monetize your voice circle. So this is where, in my mind, the nonprofit or the cause that wants to do something, they're creating a custom challenge, which is what we're talking about today. We're creating a custom challenge specifically to serve the needs of who that nonprofit serves. And then that gets to go more outward, where now we get to invite more than just the people we're serving. We get to invite our supporters and new people that are going to want to kind of be aware of the mission. And then at the end of that, people get to experience the challenge. And that's when potentially that was where then they want to actually say, oh, I want to actually have this in my company, this challenge, because it's going to build culture and community and leadership skills throughout it. And the actual employees then get to feel like they're a part of something more than themselves. And then they're supporting the nonprofit, both by taking actions through the challenge, but they're also actually growing in the process. And then the global reach is where in my mind, I'm like, wouldn't it be fun if we did something like an ice bucket challenge where one action happens and then globally, people. Anyway, that's the big vision of what I'm doing. And so what we're doing today is we're just brainstorming a challenge, and we're just thinking of what would be nice for people to kind of do from a first responder perspective to help support them in the way of moving through the circles or what could actually help people be aware of what first responders are going through. So then they actually feel more called to want to donate to the causes. Does that make sense? And so this is just. Now we're going to leave the rest of the time open, open forum, and we're just gonna brainstorm what would it be? And it could be, like Katherine said, it could just be a simple question of thought provoking, or it could be an action like donate to this organization today or do this type thing. And so, yeah, I don't know how we want to start this, but, Lynette, I'm feeling you. I don't know if you want to start me thinking of what would be a good action. And feel free just, yeah, any. And it could even think of it, maybe even like advice or however could get your mind to kind of go there, because I know, sometimes it's hard when I'm throwing a lot of things at you, but feel free to just share whatever's on your mind right now. Well, one of the things about us.

And I'm training a department right now in a fire department that has never, ever in the history of the department has had mental health or wellness training. They don't even really know what ptsd, what does that look like, even though they have it and whatnot. So I don't know what kind of challenge, not really. But I do know that there's many departments across the country that they don't have the foundational knowledge of themselves, meaning how things are affecting them. And so how do we move from there of having them know what's happening and that there is help or that there's something else out there? Because many times we don't move out of our communities to entrust other communities with our stuff. And so I want other communities to know what's going on, because in a collective of people, they don't understand us. And it's like an us versus them, in a sense. And so to change that culture, that we're just regular people who are doing extraordinary things. Right? But those extraordinary things are damaging us so much that we're not really living to our full capacity. We really are not. And that's what my mission is. To go out there, into those places where they've never had any training and they don't know about themselves, and to tell my story so that I open the door so they can tell theirs and that there's permission to tell their stories. Many of us won't. But when I walk in a room and I train people, I can't even tell you how many people come up and say, I went through that. This happened to me. That happened to me. And it just gives them permission to open up their hearts and say, wow, there's somebody like me and they're not afraid to say anything.

Annette, you gave me two ideas, so just listen to you. Because it's like, woo. Okay, so that one could be a share your story challenge, which would be high trust. I get that. But it still would appeal to enough people, especially if you've got a safe container. So that's one. But would there be value in creating a wellness actions Challenge? Because I just got back from a conference in Arizona and we got exposed to probably 50 different wellness modalities. But who implements them? Who remembers to do their box breathing? Who remembers that they can do tapping to calm down their amygdala? Who remembers that? Oh, yeah, I only need to go for a 20 minute walk to drop my cortisol level. Who remembers that I need to just get outside and breathe fresh air. That might be an implementation of Wellness Actions Challenge that I think you could probably, because I know the competitive nature of firing PD. They're all gonna be like, I did 20 reps, I did 50 reps. I did 175 reps. So I just think that that might be something. I'd love your feedback.

I like that idea. Because even if they don't know how to breathe or that that works or whatever, that is a teaching tool. Right. So while they're in the challenge. Right. And while we're in the challenge, we're actually learning techniques for our health. Right. And for our wellness. And so I think that's a wonderful idea. And sharing your story challenge, once I tell mine, people are open to tell their own. So I think that's a wonderful idea as well, is share your story. And like you said, it has to be safe space where you feel comfortable and it's people like us. Right. And then I can tell my story to anybody in the whole world now. Right. I undressed for a purpose.

Right.

I undress so that others undress.

Right.

The more we do, the freer we are. The more we do, the more healing that happens. And that's our goal in this first responder wellness space, is to have healing happen, to show modalities of therapy or other things that we can do to help ourselves. Right. I think these are both really great, great ideas. Yeah.

And I love where you're going with it because that's the idea. There's challenges and that's why I'm so glad each of you are here and thank you again, because everything that we're wanting people to do, we get to put it in a challenge and then they get to do it. Because one of the pieces of the formula, that's a really important piece. This is the one I did my TedX talk on last year, which is the power of community to help you achieve your goals. A lot of people don't understand that there's our friends and family in our regular support network who are great, but they can't understand what you're going through.

Right.

As a first responder and be able to see that only first responders really can. And to be in a space where you're with other first responders now, you actually are more comfortable sharing because as Lynette said, now you can share your story with anyone. Right. Because it's for purpose. It's going to help them share theirs. But in the beginning, there's that. That space of having to do it in that comfort zone of a safe group. And so. Yeah, thank you so much. And Todd, how about you?

Well, first of all, I'll say, Stacy, you just hit the nail on the head about non first responders not understanding first responders. Coworker of mine used to say, if you have not done the job, I can't explain it to you, but if you have done the job, I don't need to. So you hit it on the head. That's exactly right. Lynette, when you first started talking, you triggered a thought in my head about a challenge question of what's next? What will you do if, like me, you wake up tomorrow and can't do this job anymore? What are you going to do to prepare for the potential that shoot, maybe tonight I'm going to go on a lift assist and throw out my pack and not be able to do the job anymore or the cumulative trauma is going to take me down and I can no longer do the job. What's next? What am I going to do now?

Wow.

It's so interesting because I mentioned this to Katherine, but I still wasn't sure what piece of this I was doing with the first responders yet is I'm doing a big event in January in San Diego, and I'll have to share details because I would love you guys to come and even potentially speak there. But in my mind, it was about helping people transition that are veterans. And I knew I wanted the first responders there, but I couldn't picture what it was yet. And so part of it was Katherine mentioned a lot of veterans are actually first responders or actually first responders are actually veterans. So that was one piece for the first responders fit in. But, Todd, you just helped me realize that's where the first responders come in. It's the ones that are transitioning and helping them figure out. And so I think that's not a lot of talk to language out there is after you're no longer able to do it or you're moving on, what do you do now? Right. And you're almost like this superhero that's now like, okay, now literally. Right. Because you're. You're constantly helping and serving and now what happens next?

And so, yeah, and it's the context I'm putting it in, I think is a nearer term. I mean, thinking about your actual retirement after 20, 30, 35 years on the job is very different than thinking about, well, my next shift could be the last shift that I can physically do this, but I've only been doing it for 10 years, so do I have something in mind if that becomes reality? And I think that thinking in that context might help first responders understand that we do have challenges. We do need to take care of ourselves physically and mentally. And by thinking, okay, what am I going to do if next week I can't do this? Maybe today I can do things to make sure that I can keep doing it.

It's funny that you talk about this. So for those of you who don't know, I was director of the Office of Veteran Military affairs for vets that came back from Afghanistan and Iraq, and I was the one to help them transition into civilian life. And I was in charge of about 3,000 vets that came back.

Right?

And so it kind of. It is the same in that when they came back, they did not know their place. They knew who they were as a Marine, as someone in the army, and.

Their job, their prospective jobs there.

But when they came out, it was like, okay, who am I now? Right?

That is like.

Like, who am I now? And so maybe really finding Todd now. Right? All right. Who am I now, apart from that job? Because what I preach, right. I am never, ever that police officer, right?

Right.

That's my profession, but that's not who I am ever. Right? So there's a saying, once a Marine, always a Marine, right?

Yeah.

You can be a Marine, part of that group, being a Marine, but that is not who you are. Once we lose our identities in the work is when we lose ourselves. And so finding ourselves and who we are, what we can do, and really pulling out our gifts because we're so much more than just our jobs, right? And so we never are pushed to pull out what our gifts are, right? I am a teacher. I am a natural teacher, and people listen to me when I talk. I don't know why. I don't want to even listen to myself. But I am a natural teacher. So where can I go and where can I take my teaching skills?

Right?

And that's what I did. I found me apart from that job. And how can I pour into first responders in a way that they're gonna find themselves apart from the job? And so that could be something. Finding who you are apart from your job, your profession.

And that ties in Lynette, Todd, Jeff, and Bob are all your countdown to retirement. Retirement readiness certified coaches and trainers. Because retirement can happen at any point in time in your career and your life, and this is something that we're pushing to have it be taught in academy, is that yes, if you're lucky, you're going to have a 10, 20, 30 year career, but that may not happen. And the identity part is so important. And you're right, Lynette. So many people are like, I am a firefighter. No, you work for the fire service. I am a cop. No, you work for a police department. And that you. That slight rewording starts the individuation process. Because if the statistics are hardcore, if you don't find a new passion and purpose after you leave your job, you will more than likely be dead in 18 months to five years. That's horrifying to me, and that is a statistic that I want to see change dramatically. And it's the same thing for military. I mean, it's just like there's so many concurrent and overlapping issues between first responders and the military. It makes perfect sense that we're having this conversation.

Yeah. And it makes me realize too, it's funny, I kept seeing Restoration Ranch at that event in January and it still obviously is there, but I'm actually now I'm like, oh, your countdown to retirement has to be living there too, because that's what this is, Right? Whether you're a veteran and now you're rediscovering who you are and your purpose after you left the military, or you're a first responder and you need to transition back into, be able to see what you want to do next. And that's what's so powerful. And I'm excited to keep brainstorming, but it's powerful because this challenge, find your voice, is kind of like a foundational of. It actually came totally different. But I exit. I went to business for 20 years. I exited that company. And that challenge got birthed from me losing my identity and everything that I knew, and it got birthed from that. And it's. It's very simple and it's very profound, but it's. At every place of the circle is that challenge. And then Mare actually has a challenge that's called the Dream Nudge Challenge. That is. It's also a universal challenge that helps people at every level because it helps them isolate one of the dreams and then a group helps them. And so what I love about this is talking about whether it's the sharing your story or the wellness actions implementation, as those are kind of part of that, and whether that ends up being a universal challenge that we can use at each level, or it ends up being specific to a comfort circle. There's so much power in that that I'm really excited about. Oh, my gosh. Okay. So, Jeff.

Yes. So I think back to something Lynette said earlier about not having the awareness or the background, particularly for mental health. And I didn't mention this in my intro, but my company's primary bailiwick is providing crisis intervention team training classes. And that is essentially teaching first responders corrections, many other groups, how to properly de escalate people during a crisis. And just this discussion about challenges is. It's great, and I look forward to us handling that mission. But one thing that keeps jumping out at me is there's somewhat of an expectation for them to find us. And I think it's a critical component for us to create this awareness and go to these groups that don't have it. I remember. So when we do our introductions for CIT classes, the last question is, do you have any mental health training and. Or experience, personal experience, or maybe something they have going on that they care to share? And I can tell you what the highest percentage of certainty and not certainty, but knowing this and hearing from classes, very few have that kind of training or awareness. And what does that say? Well, I have somebody in the class right now. He's been on the job 10 years. This is his first training. And this is we're in a faraway place in Colorado, and yet they still have to go out and do their jobs. So my whole point to that is it's important that we devise ways in how we can reach them instead of the expectation that they will somehow find out about us. There are many first responder agencies across this country, not to sound repetitive, but that don't have this type of awareness. And we need to do the best job we can in getting the word out.

And that's one of the kind of things that's exciting about what we're doing is the challenges. Actually, once they're created, they are evergreen. And I have people that are actually trained to run the challenges all over the world. In fact, my find your voice challenge was even translated into Spanish. And it helped women who were in a recovery support group and it helped them find their voice so much that they started the group speaking in Spanish and then they ended up speaking in English. That's how much it helped them. And so that's kind of the idea is once we create the challenge, then we get to look globally and say, great, now who needs to hear this message? And then they're taking collective action and getting connected together. And so while it can start really small inside of a group of. Not small, but small in terms of numbers, big in terms of impact, but in terms of a group of first responders. And they can actually do this. Now, we're able to use that same challenge and create awareness in a corporation, which then leads back to the nonprofit. So. No, I love that you said that, because that's a really powerful part of helping people understand the mission. When you look at Katherine, when you see the. I mean, how many of you, you all know her, have seen the. I want to say doggity. That is not even the right word. But like the bone with the dog. The dog with the bone. Anyway, it's like, I am here and I don't care what's happening, and you're in my way. Okay. It's fine. She's got that thing, right? And now to be able to give her the freedom of just having this challenge that then spreads the message of Restoration Ranch and then could potentially even fund the mission to me is like, oh, my gosh. Right. And you don't even have to deliver the challenge. We're going to be able to pair it with someone that can actually deliver it, and so then they're leading back into your organization. I just feel like it's going to be really, really powerful. Yeah. Okay, Bob, you're up.

Okay. I think everything that has been mentioned so far is really important as far as challenges go. What I'm going to do, I'm going to take just a slight step back into. Not tomorrow, not to retirement, which is extremely important. Not even today. But let's talk about the foundation of first responders. What built those cultures and how have those changed? And I gotta say, you measure the ranks. You go from police officer or firefighter to lieutenant captain, battalion chief, fire, whatever. Everyone views all of this difference different because they see it from a different direction. And a lot of them don't look down and see the reality. I'm a big guy. Into turning the pyramid upside down.

Yeah.

The guys on the top of the pyramid, they carry a huge load. But the people on the street, they should be at the top of the list. Okay, so my primary question, I think a really good challenge would be, if you want to talk about today for the folks, for these folks, is do you feel supported? Tell us about the support you receive as an internal customer. Something I've been teaching for years is the value of taking care of your internal customer. The fire and pd I Mean those jurisdiction majority believe that we have people who do the job on the job. It took a lot to get themselves out. Now they're working now. They take care of the external client cost, but you gotta maintain the internal customer, because what that does, it amplifies the value of support that they provide to the external customers. That is a long trip. And that's a really, really important thing that needs to be looked at a lot closer. I mean, now you fit behavioral health in at that. Okay? We were taught from the very beginning, and this is still implied day to day, is if you feel if this is too stressful for you, then you don't belong here. But they don't recognize it. Everybody can feel too stressed. And some hide it better than others, even from themselves. Okay? So I just think that everything, it's the foundation of these cultures, of this culture. You need to support your folks. I mean, probably two and a half years, I started to write an appropriations bill for Congress or Senate so that we had funding to provide the change in this culture. But I'm telling you, people just don't understand what this is. And that's why I feel so energized by being in this group with these people. The one thing people don't know is what gets us in this is adrenaline. We're just normal people, but we live on adrenaline. That's what hides our emotions. That's what gets us to the next day, gets us to look forward to the next call. Where is your adrenaline? Do you realize what it's doing to you? Is it good? Absolutely, it's good. We wouldn't have the passion without that. We're junkies, okay? But I just think this is really, really significantly important to start a pathway towards this. Lynette and I have been working on this for years. Years. I've been with three, actually, four other foundations. And it always has a tendency to reverse. What I really like seeing and feeling, and I do that right now. I do feel that right now is this is not to take our words and move it towards their own business. This needs to go to the outside. This is so vitally important. So this is inspiring. And with those words, I would just say let's look at today. I mean, as a personnel services division chief with Fort Orleans, Canada Fire Department, this was my goal. And I'm telling you, I was the black sheep of the chiefs because everybody else just make them do the jobs, not take care of them before and after they do their jobs. They take too much home. And that. That I'll Tell you, when I retire, it deflates. Now, you talk about a lot. There's so many little topics here as far as the funding, the pensions, all that stuff is kind of dissolving over time. And the staffing you refuse to staff. You put more hours on everybody. You stress them out just by not getting enough sleep. And then you have the call. Then you have the cumulative stress. So I think that pretty much covers that. I think a good challenge is, are you supported?

Wow.

My gosh, Mare, I'd love to hear what's coming up for you.

Well, what often comes up for me when I'm talking with Katherine is that there also needs to be a challenge to engage the community in supporting the helpers. Because coming from a family where we experienced tragedy from. I have people both in the military and the police force, but my cousin was one family removed. I mean, it was. I mean, he was my first cousin. I mean, grew up with him. Feels like he was my brother. But there were no supports for us in the. We also needed to process the grief and the tragedy. And it was all over the news. It was a big. It was a really big deal back in the day. I mean, there's a highway. You have to. So it was really big. But there was no place for us to also process what's going on for us. So it's not just the first responders. It's also the community. But give us the chance to help. Give us the chance to do something. Give us the chance to stand up for the helpers. So that would be another challenge for me that I see and a way to drive funding. Because if I knew that my $5 a week or whatever that I'm putting into the world was going to support the mental health and making a difference for a first responder, would I be doing. Absolutely. Would I be talking all of my friends into giving their $5 or whatever?

Yes.

Yes. So also help us help the helpers. But we don't know. I knew my own family experience, but I didn't realize it was everybody until I started to play with Katherine and her dreams that the first responders. First of all, I was in the police firefighter. I wasn't doing the call centers and the EMS and the emergency room and then the judicial. I did not have that wherewithal at all. Zero, nothing. Until I started to play with Katherine. And so think of all the families who those first responders are part of. And each of those people within the family care about their first responders. They care about them as people not as first responders, right. They care about them as people and feel helpless. And I think that we can unlock that, take the helpless feeling into action, do the thing right by having a campaign around. How is your community helping them? Help helpers.

Wow.

And it back to this. Anyone listening? I am showing the comfort circle. If you guys have not seen it yet, make sure you check it out. But basically, yeah, it's like the first responders, we're helping them come out of horse mode, right? We're helping them find their voice so that they can share their story. Right? And that way people have understanding. Like, Lynette, what you said so beautifully, right? Being able to actually be naked with your story so that it helps others. And then under the monetize, that's what Bear's talking about now, is now we want to bring the supporters in to do the challenge that then's going to create the awareness of the nonprofit and then also the first responders that are able to speak about how to help others take action. And then that's how we're able to get into the global impact. So it feels like there's so much here. So, okay, Katherine, what's coming up for you?

I think I have about 30 new challenges to create, as if I need more things on my plate. But I think this is so, so beneficial to have gotten the input from all of the people who are here today because you've really helped to coalesce how to move forward. Because so often we just talk about it. And as Bob said, this is not a group that's like here trying to figure out how do we enrich ourselves, how do we line our own pockets, how do we turn this into whatever it's the whole heart and soul of this is how do we support our communities and our first responders and their families through this process. And that is what makes this so different and I think will really help with the expansion of what not only Restoration Ranch Colorado is doing. I mean, again, nothing would make me happier than to have the do the Thing challenge logo be on every barn of every farm and ranch that we are able to acquire across the United States. And I'll go into Canada and maybe into Mexico. You just say I'll go anywhere, like I can get to. But what I see is that this is a vehicle for good in the world. And we so desperately need to remind people that kindness is not hard. Supporting people is not hard. We just have to do it.

Lynette, I just wanted to say that.

Many times in different posts that I do I'm like, who helps those who help, Right? At one time in therapy, I'm complaining about everybody comes to me for everything. And this is the ideal with all of us, all family members, friends, anybody that you can think of, they all come to us. And my therapist said something really, really important. Lynette, they don't see your trauma. They see your strength. Wow. And I said, one of the things that we need to do is how do we let them see that we are not. But we don't have an S on our chest. There's kryptonite all around us, right? And we bear it up. We put it on our backs, we put it in our hearts, we put it in our hands as we work, and we work through it. Right? But no one sees our trauma. They see our strength. And I think one of the biggest things to take away today is how do we allow people to see our trauma and that we also need help. Now, we don't like that. It doesn't even sound right. We need help.

Right.

But I speak on behalf of first responders that will not talk.

Okay.

Doesn't even sound good saying, we need help, or we could use a. It would be nice, somebody smiling at us instead of us. But it's true. They see our strength. They don't see our trauma. And I would love for people to see us the same as anyone else and reach out as well, because we need it.

Thank you so much, you guys. This has been incredible. And my question is, in your mind, if people could only do blank, what would it be? So what is that action? And I'd like to just kind of spitfire around the room. So, Katherine, if you want to start. If only they knew this. If only they could do this.

If only they were open to learning about first responder issues, because so many people are not. It's like, I don't want to think about it until I have to call 911. And I expect you to be there and for them to be educated as I was. And beyond that, I mean, just. Just going through the whole cycle of not only what happens to you when you are a victim of crime, but what happens after that. Because a lot of people are not aware that basically, in my case, I have to fight constantly to keep Chris's killers in jail. And it's not a little, teeny, tiny thing. And I don't. I'm not a negative person. You can tell that that is not who I am. But if you look at what is happening in our judicial system, and it's really A legal system, it's not a justice system. That when we are giving more support financially to offenders than we are to the first responders and the people who are victimized by crime, that needs to stop. That needs to be flipped on its head because there is very little funding initially for first responders for health and wellness and for mental health training. And so what absolutely shocked me. And again, if I want people to know one thing, it's this. It's different in every state. But in the state of Colorado, we spend $1.3 billion a year to incarcerate 16,000 prisoners in state penitentiaries, we spend $13 million a year on their victims, and we spend a fraction of that, if anything, to support first responder mental wellness. There's nothing that's used from crime funding to support first responder mental health. That's a conversation that needs to start. But that literally means that for every dollar we spend on an offender, we spend a penny on the person whose lives they blew apart. That is going to happen to more and more people because crime is escalating, even though it may be smaller crimes. People are learning that, hey, we can get away with it because they're not as well staffed as they used to be. And if we don't address these issues, we will have people who are no longer willing to do first responder work, and we will have shortages of staffing that will directly impact you and your family, your neighbor that you call 911 and nobody's going to be able to come and answer your call. Or by the time they get there, the golden hour is gone. And that, I think, should just curl the hair on the back of every head that's listening to this podcast.

Wow.

Sorry, I'm just writing that down. Well, because you have thoughts in your head as you're speaking, I'm like, I don't want to lose the thoughts. So I'm like, oh, my gosh. Okay. Thank you so much. Okay, Todd.

So I think I'll go with the statement of if only they could understand. It's not just one worst call. I'm sure we've all been asked the question, what was the worst call? What's your criteria? Do you mean what was the goriest? What was the most number of patients? What was the most tragic? Give me some criteria. Because there's not just one worst call. There's a bunch of them and they add up. So that's. I would want the general public to understand it's not just one worst call.

Thank you so Powerful. And Jeff.

So mine's pretty, pretty basic. And that is, if only they could be open to listen without judgment and have a commitment to participating, being involved. And I think that's how changes will evolve. It's very similar to what law enforcement went through beginning in the 80s with community policing, is working with the community to try to have common understanding and support of each other.

Thank you.

And Lynette, if only they knew the pain we carry. Thank you.

Thank you so much. And Bob.

If you only knew, what do you know? How can you learn? Every firehouse in your city, your county is open for you to walk in. Every PD department is open for you to walk in and talk to them. I can tell you when we're on a call. We have our hard face on. We have our smiley face on because we want everybody to feel a little bit better about maybe the toughest day of their life so far. But is that how we feel inside? No. We got that adrenaline pumping again. I talk about adrenaline probably a little bit much, but that's our life. Okay? So if you only knew. So why not learn? Why not learn what changes our life every day and takes our dreams away? Although we care so much about you, a person that we have never met, we are pushing our dreams away because we want to keep doing the very best we can without knowing how to take care of ourselves.

Well, thank you.

And mayor, you are the answer to.

First responders responding you.

Thank you.

And Katherine, I know you answered, but I want to hear your kind of last bit of juice here.

I think Lynette said it best. You don't know what someone else is walking through, what they are carrying, if you're not willing to walk beside them and to learn. And I think that all of us in this conversation would say that we live our lives in such a way that if you met us on the street have happened to us. And it's not necessarily a mask. I think it's a matter of choice. We choose to take care of ourselves, and we are all learning how to do that. I certainly am very different now than I was in the months and weeks after Chris was killed, when I literally could not imagine what my life would be like. But when you see the value of conversations like this, people educating themselves, first responders, making themselves aware of and available to different healing modalities, health and wellness programs, and to use them, then things will start to change. But it's a giant ball of knotted yarn, and we have to just keep on picking at it to finally get it to untangle it's not a simple problem, but the solution is simple. Get involved.

Thank you so much. Thank you so much each of you for being here. Thank you everyone for listening and stay tuned. We're about to do something really, really huge. We have the billion Dollar Impact activation happening right now and we are going to be funding meaningful projects, meaningful causes, meaningful missions by using this challenge model. And we're really excited to be able to bring this out into the world. So do the thing. Don't wait for opportunity. Create it. And if you have not checked my Facebook group out yet, go to do the thing collaboration.com thanks for listening to.

The do the Thing podcast. We hope you enjoyed the show. But even more, we hope you'll be inspired to do the Thing. Do you have a burning question on Doing the Thing that you'd like answered? How about an inspiring do the Thing story of your own that you'd like to share? We'd love to hear all about it. Just leave us a voice message at dothething callcast or email us@helloothethingpodcast.com.