5 Questions To Ask About Your Romantic Relationship

If you don't ask these five questions about your romantic relationships, then you're at risk of settling for the person who's not meant for you. So stay tuned.

Let's face it, every single person on the planet wants to have a high quality relationship, especially when it comes to the romantic life or their love life. Everybody wants to be, quote unquote with their person or with their soulmate. Unfortunately, many of us end up settling for someone who is not meant to be that person. So much so that I believe that that's part of the reason why relationships tend to break up two to three years in and why people also end up feeling a lot of aloneness in their life. Now, I almost learned that the hard way when I almost did not actually get to my wife, the one that I love so much and the one that's been such a huge impact in my life. And here's why. You see, the person I had dated prior to meeting my wife, I was infatuated with. We had six months of bliss, and all of a sudden the bottom fell out of nowhere and I swore up and down that she was the right one. However, when I put her character traits against my list that I took the time to make ahead of time, I found out that she was only about 75% of my list. Right? And some of those things were pretty important, like honesty, right? No one wants to be with somebody who's constantly lying and cheating and doing those kinds of things. That's why this is so important. It's also why it's so important to actually have this list. Now, through a circumstance of providence, I was able to move on from that relationship. Spend time in reflection, spend time healing up. And then I met my beautiful wife, Karen. Now, my beautiful wife Karen and I have been together for quite a long time now. And as we've developed, I've learned that there are some foundational principles that you've got to do in order to understand these things. And it really starts with five major questions. So in order for you to get to the relationship that matters the most, I want to give you these five questions, have you answer them in a time of reflection, honestly, and. And I do mean honestly, and here's why. Some of us, meaning this is something I used to do, will actually go into defending the person's character, even if their character is broken. Don't do that. These questions are meant to give you valuable perspective on what you're doing or not doing in regards to understanding whether or not the person that you're meant to Be with is actually present. You got me. All right, question number one. Can you honestly see your partner as your ultimate best friend? That's right. Not your buddy down the street, not your girlfriend at the gym, your best friend. Is this person worthy of trust, accountability, and sincere connection? Do they go out of their way to constantly build that connection on a regular basis? Or are they ignoring you, not paying attention to you, so focused on their own interest? These types of things are really important. My beautiful wife Karen, while she will hold me accountable in a heartbeat, someone that I feel like I can trust explicitly. Why? Because my wife has always given me reasons to trust her rather than to not trust her. We've built up over time of consistency, of actually always having trust there. Right? Which means I can be feel more comfortable being more vulnerable and actually connecting on a regular basis. Now question number two is just as important, and that is, can you compromise regular without major blow ups or major kind of fights? Look, all couples are going to face highs and lows and peaks and valleys when they go through different things, right? When parents pass away or a job loss or a baby's born, all these different things couples face on a regular basis. But what I'm really talking about is major blow ups in such a way that a major fight out breaks. That is a telltale sign that something's not right. Okay? A normal relationship is going to have heated discussions from time to time, but it's not going to include verbal assaults or physical violence or anything of that nature. In fact, typically what happens is the best thing to do is to lean into that person's perspective and say, hey, help me understand where you're at. Okay, great. Perfect example. They would say that back to you. Help me understand where you're at. And all you're looking for is to go common ground on a regular place. That is the key to actually making sure that that relationship is the right one for you. So make sure you take the time to ask that question. Question number three. Do you pick up on each other's feelings and nonverbal cues and does that create a safe environment to express your authenticity and. And your vulnerability? Here's what I mean by that. One of the things that my wife and I do really, really well, or one of the things that she's actually taught me to do really well is to spend time listening more than anything else, right? I can pick up on her body language, she can pick up on mine. She can tell if I'm frustrated, I'm angry, I'm fearful, I'm scared. And because she's a value to me, I've taken the time to also learn her body language to know when she's frustrated, scared, happy, sad, or any of that. Great couples can read each other's emotional states simply by looking at each other, let alone by the words that they're saying. And someone says, I'm fine, you know they're not fine, right? A healthy relationship is not going to have to go there, right? They're going to say, no, I'm still frustrated. I still don't feel like we're getting anything done here. At the end of the day, a healthy connection always builds a vulnerable space of safety where you feel like you can confide in each other on a regular basis. Relationships that have people who don't feel like they can confide in the other person are typically in unhealthy relationships and is a telltale sign that maybe that's not the right one. Got me. Now, if you're not sure where your relationships are and you need a little help, go ahead and check out in the description for a free ebook that I have called the seven relationships you must have to win. That little ebook will actually save you a ton of time and a ton of energy trying to figure this relationship game out. So check it out. Question number four. Do you feel like you should change your partner to be more to your liking? If you feel like you have to consistently change your partner, then there's a good chance that, well, it's probably not the right one. And here's what I mean by that. Love stories and great love stories are not based on loving someone for who they are. But great love stories are based on loving someone for in spite of who they are. Which means they accept that other person for strengths, weaknesses, and blind spots. Because we all have those different areas. We all have areas that we need to improve in order to bring more value to our relationship. The trick is not going into a relationship thinking they're going to change. Unfortunately, I actually was married once and that marriage fell apart. One of the biggest determining factors of that is I actually wanted to have children. And my wife, my then wife, did not want to have children. Okay, now, this is one thing of a very complex situation, but that is one thing that we disagreed on. I will be honest. I went into that marriage thinking I could change her mind about children. Now, children's a big deal. Profession's a big deal. Traveling a big deal. Handling money a big deal. These areas take more time to cultivate over time. Unfortunately, if you spend all your time and energy trying to change somebody. You and them both will end up being incredibly frustrated. So you don't want to enter into a relationship that you feel like you have the need to change somebody to make them completely different than who they are. You are already going to be in love with who they already are, and you're adding value by amplifying that in your life. That's what you're looking for. Now, I'm not talking about the little stuff, like maybe someone leaves a toilet seat up or leaves her shoes on the carpet or something like that. I'm talking about the big stuff. Specifically, do you feel like you sincerely have to change their character or their personhood to be more to your liking? That is what I'm talking about. The little stuff is little stuff. No big deal there. I'm talking about the big stuff. So if you feel like you have to change your partner telltale sign, probably not the right one for you. Now, question number five is just as important, and it kind of spins off of question number four, and that is this. Do you feel like you have to change yourself to an inauthentic state to actually keep the relationship going? In other words, do you feel like you have to be something that you're not in order to be attracted or be attractive to the person that you love or you think you love? You have to be honest with yourself and you have to be authentic to your core. And when you're not authentic to your core, you are going to end up frustrated, isolated and alone, possibly doing that also to the same person. In other words, if you're inauthentic to yourself and you're not being your true self, then it's going to come up at some point where all of a sudden you're going to have a lot of rubbing in the relationship that doesn't need to be there simply because you tried to force yourself into a mold of what they wanted. It might be the way you dress. It might be the way you talk. It might be the way you hang out with people. It could be a variety of different things, right? And it's not talking about small stuff. Again, I'm not talking about the stuff we already talked about, which is like, you know, your shoes and your toilet seat and stuff like that. I'm talking about they are telling you how to dress. They are telling you who to be. They're telling you what to do, what not to do, who to say, what not to say, who all the different people you should hang out with. That is not healthy. We all are going to grow and mature in healthy relationships. We're all going to be challenged in relationships to grow and mature. But if you find yourself losing your overall identity and not being true to yourself, then it's a great sign that something needs to change, right? So you want to get to the bottom of this question as quick as you can. Now, I've got a bonus question for you that you need to ask, but in the meantime, would you do me a favor? Would you go ahead and take the time to subscribe to the channel because I give you regular content on a regular basis about how to master pretty much any area of your life, from relationships to finance to personal development, etc. All of that is here for you when you need it, on demand, anytime you need. And if you want to get notified whenever I post, just do me a favor, smash the bell icon and you won't miss a thing. Now, here's the BONBUS Question number six. Can you see yourself as part of their life through sickness and adversity? And would you want them to be there for you as well? Why do I ask that? I'm married to the woman of my dreams, the woman that I love, the one that my best friend, okay? But my wife actually has a chronic illness that prevents a lot of the things that we used to love to do together, a lot of the places we like to go. I am not going anywhere. This woman is amazing, right? If I was with someone different, who wasn't my wife, who I hadn't been able to build that intimacy level with, that trust, that value that, that vulnerability with, there's a high likelihood that I would notice other people walking past, if you know what I mean. It's important that your relationships are loyal. It's important that they are faithful. It's important that they are valuable. And only the right person can actually get to that stage. This question is so powerful important because in the event that one or more of you get sick, then you have to be able to know that the other person has your back and willing to carry you forward and vice versa. That's why this question is very important, especially before you tie the knot somewhere. So make sure you ask this question and make sure you consider it honestly. Again, with all of these questions, do not defend where your partner is at at this moment. Instead, be honest with yourself. Ask these questions and actually understand whether or not you've actually achieved soulmate status. Now that you have these questions, take some time reflecting and ask these questions of yourself and of the person that you're with. That way you can understand whether or not you have a winner or a dud. And in the meantime, if you're trying to master every single area of your life, do me a favor. Check out this video right here. And as always, do me a favor. Make sure you hit the subscribe button. I'd love to have you be part of the family.