6 Signs Your Relationship Needs To End

One of the absolute worst things you can do in life is sustain a relationship that needs to end. And in this video, I'm going to give you some tools to help you uncover and break through those barriers so you can finally stop getting taken advantage of.

When was the last time that you walked into a situation that you wish you could kind of end or a relationship that you didn't feel like fulfills you? Well, I've had way too many of those in my personal self, and it took a long time for me to actually get the breakthrough and, and to actually understand the things I'm about to share with you now. One of the reasons that I brought this particular video back up is because of a young lady that I met at a local restaurant who was a waitress. Unfortunately, she had discovered that she was pregnant about two weeks prior, only to find out that the daddy wanted to have nothing to do with her or the baby. In fact, the daddy of the baby, if you will. Baby daddy, unfortunately, was the definition of a toxic relationship. What that led her to do is to almost give up on life entirely. Almost literally, almost take her own life. She was scared. She was afraid. She didn't know where to go or who to talk to or anything like that. And it just so happens that the God that I believe in brought her to my table. There I was able to share with her my own personal story of toxic relationships and my homelessness and even some of the thoughts of taking my own life from back in the day, only to discover that there is a proven process in order to help you avoid those toxic relationships and, and. Or get rid of them if they currently already exist. So let's go ahead and jump in this right now and look at this closely. Now, what I'm about to share with you is how to kind of break free from this. Now, before we jump into these six signs, I want to do one thing for those of you who are married. I want to encourage you not to use this as a tool to walk in and get divorced. Instead, I'd rather use it for a tool to walk in and try to reconnect, even if you need professional help and counseling to do so. All right, so now let's go ahead and jump in. Number one, the number one sign that you need to end a relationship right now is this relationship is consistently and continually exhausting. Relationships go through all kinds of seasons of ebb and flows, love and highs, right? You're going to have fights. You're also going to have moments of connection. You're also going to Have a lot of makeups. Now, if your relationships are consistently all one way, which is exhausting, then that's a telltale sign that that relationship is not destined for strength, right? A relationship should add just as much value as you add to it on a regular basis. I hope you understand what I mean by that. You shouldn't be fighting all the time and you shouldn't be lonely all the time. And you shouldn't be ignored all the time. Instead, you should have open communication with constant areas that allow you to connect on a regular basis. Sign number two is you're routinely and constantly disrespected. Now, every single relationship is going to throw jabs from time to time, not even meaning to, right? We're human beings and we feel like we're not getting our way or something like that. All of us have a tendency to go into, well, self selfishness mode. Let's be honest, okay? What I'm talking about is a routine practice of being demeaning and harming someone else, either verbally, emotionally, right? Or even spiritually to some degree. If you're routinely disrespected, it is a telltale sign that your values do not matter. And if your values do not matter, then your presence doesn't matter. And what's the old saying? If someone doesn't value your presence, you always give them the pleasure of your absence, right? Make sure that there's a constant mutual respect in order to build connectivity. I'm not talking about a fight. I'm not talking about someone didn't take out the garbage or someone forgot to text you at the right time. That's small potatoes, right? That's stuff that every relationship goes through. I'm talking about cursing at you. I'm talking about hurling insults at you. I'm talking about talking about your family to your face in such a way that is demeaning to your family on a regular basis, okay? We all have crazy family members from time to time. I'm talking about the consistency of disrespect. Make sure that your relationships always have a level of mutual respect on a regular basis. Again, not talking about the isolated incident. I'm talking about a consistent practice over weeks, months and even years. Your relationships, in order for them to be healthy, have to be seen as being mutually valued. All right? Now sign number three is just as important. I will tell you that sign number three is by far probably the one that I had to deal with the most. Unfortunately for me, many of my toxic relationships were always led with betrayal and lies. So sign Number three is you uncover consistent deceptions on a regular basis. Now, here's the thing to keep in mind about this. When you uncover a deception and then you challenge the person with the deception, are they repentant about it and they're sorry about it and it's something you can grow from, or are they completely defensive about it and act and try to make it sound like that you're the crazy one? I can tell you from personal experience that this is a huge sign, a red flag, that you are not in a relationship that is mutually beneficial. Instead, you are a selfless person, likely with a selfish person. Relationships like this are a little more like oil and water, right? They simply don't mix. If you uncovered constant deception or you feel like you need to all of a sudden become a. A parent, if you were checking behind the text messages and checking behind the emails, and where were you? That is not healthy. It's not healthy for you to be in that position where you feel like you constantly have to check behind someone. And it's not healthy to actually be lied to and consistently deceived on a regular basis. Your values matter. Your life matters. Your respect matters. And you need to be with people who also respect what you bring to the table. And as a result, people who respect one another are consistently honest with one another about everything. Okay? So make sure you always have an open mind about whether or not you're being deceived or not. Don't put yourself in a place where you're always telling yourself they didn't really mean it that way, they didn't really say it that way. This is not what I really. No, no, no, no, no. Facts are facts. And if you have the facts that support a lie is taking place, then challenge the lie. Watch the behavior. And if the behavior is, you know what, you're right, I'm sorry, I won't do that again. Or. Or is the behavior like, are you crazy? I didn't do that. What are you talking about? You're the crazy one. You see the difference? It's totally unhealthy, and it's a telltale sign that you are in a relationship that you probably need to avoid and probably remove from your life. All right, all right. Sign number four. You give consistently but rarely receive. Here's what I mean. A lot of us show our love languages and stuff like that in very different ways. Some of us do it in words of affirmation. Some of us do it in gifts. Some of us do it in quality time. Right? Gary Chapman's Five Love Languages, which is a resource. If you haven't checked it out, you need to. Okay. However, many of us have been through, at least had relationships at one time or another where we were the person doing all the giving. Maybe we were given the quality time, maybe we were given the gifts, maybe we were given the physical touch and things of that nature and the other person was completely ignoring us. That is a telltale sign that you were in a relationship that needs to end. Why? Because relationships, again, must be mutual. The values must be mutual, the respect must be mutual, the affirmation and affection must be mutual. Now, it's entirely possible that you might show these things in different ways, right? But if one is showing it and one is not showing it all together, or a very minimal amount, maybe just enough to kind of keep you going on and kind of keep you engaged, then you're in a toxic relationship. And I say that after being in many toxic relationships, so much so that I think I used to wear a big L in the front of my forehead, if you know what I mean. Attracting crazy people. You see what I'm saying? Take the time to look at these things specifically as we're walking through them to understand the types of relationships that actually give you the biggest impact. And by understanding what these things are, you can now set a healthy boundary to begin to fight back. And so if you were in a relationship that is not giving you as much as you're putting into it on a consistent basis, again, relationships have ebb and flows, right? I'm talking about a consistent level of drop off where you're giving. There's no receiving for consistency. A week, a month, a year or more. I'm not talking about, hey, today's Tuesday and I didn't feel loved today, but Wednesday's fine. You see what I'm saying? I'm talking about consistency, right? Then that's a relationship that's giving you a telltale sign that it's likely time for that relationship to end. Also, one of the things that I've done is I've taken the time to write a free ebook for you in order to help you actually get to the relationships you really deserve and the relationships you need to actually help you uncover how to make the most of every single decision of your life. How do I do that? Well, I want you to look in the description and I want you to take advantage of the seven relationships you must have to win at life. These are seven relationships that I identified a long time ago that helped me get the ultimate breakthrough and Helped me develop the boundaries that. To push the crazy ones aside and finally let the great ones in. And I know it'll do the same for you. So make sure you check that out. Back to it. Sign number five is, it's all physical and there's no intimacy. Especially when I was younger, in my younger 20s and probably up to my mid-30s, many of my relationships came down to, I think she's hot. She thinks I'm cute, right? And you know what happens next, right? All of a sudden, you jump into the physical side of things and you're in this infatuation stage where you think everything's gonna be wonderful, and you're starting to think in the butterflies and whatever, only to realize that you jumped in way too early. On the physical side, the physical side happens. The next thing you know, everybody runs away, right? One of the partners is all of a sudden out. Okay? The reason that occurs is because no intimacy has actually been built. I would try this. Now, granted, you may not be where I am in my life. I'm happily married now and have been for a while. We actually tried this for ourselves prior to us getting married. And that was. We actually took the physical side and set it over here for a while while we actually looked at each other honestly and began to build a relationship with one another and think about our dreams, our visions, our values and things of that nature. The character traits that drew us together. In other words, did we actually have a firm foundation to actually build a solid marriage on? Did I in fact meet my best friend? Did I in fact meet the person that I can share all of my thoughts, all of my feelings, all of my fears, all of my vulnerabilities with? Or does she just look nice in a pair of jeans? There's a big difference in that. The way you get there is by focusing more on the intimacy side and less on the physical side. Now, when you do the intimacy side, well, the physical side, boy, dude, come on. Now you got me. People are making the mistake, and unfortunately, I was one of them. You've probably been there yourself, where you give up your physical nature first, and as a result, you don't get the intimacy. You actually don't get the very foundation that your actual heart is searching for. You're simply moving on from either being conquested or conquesting other people. On and on and on and on and on and on. Again, so many people, right? And again, I've been here, so I'm speaking from experience here. So many people get lost in being overly physical before intimacy Is built. Build intimacy first. That's where you're going to discover whether or not the person is good for you or bad for you. Do your values align? Do they not align? Do you believe the same thing about kids? Do you believe the same thing about occupation? Do you believe the same thing about travel? Do you believe the same thing about faith and things of that nature? These things have to align. If they don't align, then the physical stuff is not going to get you anywhere. On the other hand, like I said before, you get the intimacy side, dude. Enjoy the physical. Got me? All right, moving on. Now, sign number six is just as important as number five. Probably more so. Sign number six is you are actually being harmed emotionally, mentally, or physically. Now, emotional injuries, mental injuries can sometimes outweigh physical ones because the scars last longer. Every one of us has had at least one relationship. More than not, that has not been the relationship we want, where somebody tries to take advantage of our overall boundaries. Some will go so desperate to actually go to the physical. Now, I have done whiteboards before about the levels of toxicity and how that occurs. If you haven't checked that out, I invite you to do so. Why? Because the physical style of injury typically starts with the emotional and the mental first. That builds up over time. If someone is consistently harming your identity or your person, that relationship needs to end. It needs to end. You are worth the value, right? You are worth more than you can imagine. And somebody else will see that. Somebody else will respect you. Somebody else will want to be vulnerable with you. Somebody else will want to be with you for the right reason and not because you're giving all yourself physically, and not because they're beating you down on a regular basis, but because they respect you, they honor you, they cherish you, and yes, dare say they love you.

Most of us, when we fall in love, it's with the wrong person. We go fall in love with people who will take advantage of us. That is not the person to be vulnerable with. The person we'll be vulnerable with are the honest people who actually want what you want out of life and can help you actually get there. You got me? All right. Now, sign number seven is pretty important. And this was probably the hardest one for me to understand and finally really take advantage of. And that is, you already know. The entire time you've been watching this video, you already have identified whether or not the relationship you're in is good or bad for you. I guarantee it. Okay? If you've decided that that relationship is not the right one to Be in. Then what you're seeing is you are actually doing sign number seven, which is settling. Most people settle simply because they don't want to be alone or they're impatient. There is great, great power in having a season of being single in such a way that allows you to have consistent reflection to build yourself. One of the things I told my own daughter and my own sons to do is list out the character traits of the person they actually wanted to be with. Then go into the physical traits of the person they wanted to be with and to actually judge every single person they date by that list. Constantly revising that list as relationships teach them something about themselves. You can only do that with six months or a year of singleness to allow you to heal from people and knuckleheads that took advantage of you so you don't bring that garbage in to a healthy relationship. And in such a way that allows you to understand yourself better, where you understand your needs, your values, and your wants better. That's how you develop a healthy one. Before we jump in and do the quick assessment together, I'd be honored if you take the time to consider subscribing to the channel. Why? Because I put out regular content on a regular basis almost daily that can actually help you get more momentum out of your life, your relationships and your finances. And if you want to get notified whenever I post something, smash that bell. And that way you'll actually get what you need. All right, let's go ahead and do the assessment together. One, I want you to do this step. I want you to rank the questions on a scale of 1 to 5 with 1 being most like me and 5 being least like me. And then we're tally the scores at the end. So you ready? Here are the questions. Number one, I always feel empty and drained around my partner. Scale of one to five. Number two, I constantly feel like I'm being lied to and undervalued. Again, scale of one to five. Number three, I'm continually being disrespected on a regular basis. You know the drill. Number four, I rarely receive even the closest amount of investment that I put into the relationship back in return.

Number five, the physical is great, but the connection is not.

Number six, I'm settling because I don't want to be alone. Number seven, I'm being verbally, emotionally, or physically assaulted. Now take the time to let's go ahead and add your scores up. And I'm going to use this as a tool to help you understand whether or not you need to get out of this relationship. All right, if you scored from a 35 to 30, then you're doing pretty good, right? You may have some tough spots and things you need to work on. If you score from a 29 to a 21, then you're likely on the verge of needing to end a relationship as a whole. Now this might be a great time to get some outside perspective and counseling before you do so to make sure you're not throwing a good relationship that just needs some maturity. Alright, now the next one's a little bit different. If you scored from a 20 to a 0, and yes, if you're in a 0, then you need to get help like now you got me. Alright, but if you score from a 20 to a 0, then this relationship is harmful to your future and, and in my opinion, destructive to your overall health. Why? Because every single person should feel seen, valued, heard and appreciated. And if you don't, then there's a better opportunity in front of you to find a much closer relationship after you've taken the time to get some needed healing, some reflection and learn and grow yourself. Because you don't want to bring those difficulties of the previous relationship into the new one. And let's face it, we've all done that before and we don't want to continue doing that in the meantime. If you're trying to master your relational life, do me a favor, check out this video right here and actually get more help on helping you get a structured relationship that actually makes the most sense. And also do me a favor, hit the subscribe. I'd love to have you partner with us and continue getting free content. See you in the next one.