Stephen Scoggins lays out seven principles for better communication: lean in with empathy, listen more than you speak, be clear, be honest, walk the talk, honor others, and over-deliver. A bonus eighth principle is to play the long game. Applied together, they build trust and real influence.
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Have you ever wondered how some people can simply walk into a room and, well, command attention? Or how some people seem to go for ideas and thoughts and conflict resolutions? Have you ever wanted to master these skills for yourself? Well, in this episode we're going to jump into seven principles that great communicators use every single day so you can apply them to your own life and start winning.
I remember the first time I ever saw what I would refer to as a world class communicator live and in person. It was almost like they knew the things I had been unable to ask or actually say with words of my own. And they almost answered every question. Instinctively. I felt like I had to know more about whatever knowledge they had to share. This is what we would call world class communication. And world class communicators are typically influencers of industry culture and tend to make substantially higher incomes than the vast majority of the population. And no matter where you are in your personal communication style, I believe you can do as I have done and implement these seven principles to become a positive force in any environment. And also watch with respect your compensation and influence rise. A word of encouragement. What I'm about to share is not to be used for manipulation, but instead for influence and positive influence. Manipulators come from a selfish place and influencers come from a place of service or a selfless place. So make sure you check your heart and your motives before you implement these tactics. Why? Because they actually work. Okay, let's break down the seven principles you need to know to become a better or a great communicator. Principle number one Lean in. Great communicators check their egos at the door and lean into the people's needs by using empathy, understanding and other tools to help them communicate without getting them stuck. Great communicators are less concerned with being seen as important or being right and more concerned with bringing a positive outcome for others we call the service. Ask yourself when you're sharing, are you trying to get your own way or are you trying to find the best way? Principle 2 Listen more than you speak as you can see, we're building off principle number one. Great communicators know the importance of gaining perspective and encouraging others to share their thoughts, ideas and opinions. They know how important it is to watch more than just the words people are using, but also watch the body language people are using while they're speaking. Great communicators simply know the wisest person in the room is generally the last person to actually speak because that person has gained enough perspective to elevate the ideas or weigh the risk and potential solutions of the problems based on someone else's other perspective. Principle 3 Be clear I overheard Dave Ramsey once say it's unkind to be unclear. And oftentimes one of the biggest separators between an average communicator and a great communicator is the skill of distilling information and down to its clearest and simplest forms. Science would argue that your brain is attracted to communication that doesn't require it to expand on a ton of emotional or logical fuel to get to the answer. So be clear. It's one of the reasons I wanted to lay out this particular video as seven principles. Because the brain is saying, tell me seven principles so I can move on. Nothing else, nothing more. So ask yourself, when you're talking to others, are you focused on creating a a pie in the sky conversation and never really landing the plane, which I struggle with from time to time, or are you trying to be clear and honest on a regular basis? Which brings us to Principle 4. Be honest. There's no better way to ruin trust and turn people off than being dishonest. Even when it's in the simplest form. When it comes down to it, we should always be treating people how we want to be treated. And if you don't want to be lied to, then don't lie to other people. Even the simplest form of dishonesty can backfire. If it's unkind to be unclear, then it's also unjust to be dishonest. Great communicators are always focused on building trust and avoid doing or saying things that will break it down at all costs. Principle 5 Walk the talk Great communicators lead by example. They know that they have to avoid the appearance of being a hypocrite at all costs and work towards living the embodiment of the ideas and the advice and the experiences they share. So do the same they don't share 10 reasons why a team member shouldn't steal and then use a company debit card to take their family out to dinner. So be careful. Principle 6 Honor those around you. Honor is a form of global respect for others who have gone before you or stand with you in the room. The quickest way to lose the confidence of the room is to put down others in the room. Or while you attempt to elevate yourself. While you may think you're showing off or being a thought leader, you're actually doing something different and building distrust. Because everyone in the room was also saying, is he gonna do that to me? Or is she gonna do that to me? People who display honor, on the other hand, always express gratitude for the leaders who have come before them and the leaders who are coming up with them. When in doubt, always praise others and give the credit away. And in time you will develop trust and a true humble spirit that actually attracts people to you like a magnet and you can enjoy that benefit principle 7 give more value than Expected all people are attracted to people who bring them value on a regular basis. Become a crusader of offering values to others and whatever skill set or focused really profession you have, make sure you're constantly adding value and that value will be returned to you in spades. Then you'll be able to build bridges and advance yourself through the service of others. Great communicators always bring more value than is expected. If you're sharing an idea or have a bonus idea, concept or advice set aside, well, kind of like a free gift. The fact that you cared enough to give a free bonus shows that you put thought into preparing that piece of content or that service or that relationship directly for them. All right, here's a bonus principle 8 play the long Game Great communicators aren't just focused on today, but also five years from now. They're focused on creating a legacy of blessings and possibilities in order to make the largest impact possible and actually have their personal influence outlive them. When your time on earth is all said and done, do you want to be remembered for making a difference or simply fading off into history with a bunch of things that you really can't take with you? If you'll learn, apply and practice these principles regularly, your wages will go up, the quality of your relationships will expand, and you'll experience lasting fulfillment. See you on the next one. I hope you enjoyed that lesson on communication. You should also check out our whiteboard lesson we did earlier this week on the same topic. If you're more of a visual learner, our whiteboard lessons are a must watch and a much easier to help you get going. Also, we put together an Entire Life Mastery 101 playlist right here on YouTube, so feel free to check that out as well.
