7 Principles To Improve Your Relationships

Welcome to the Journey Principles. I'm Steven Scoggins, and most people don't understand or don't have any idea how much their core relationships are holding them back. You shouldn't make that mistake. In this episode, we're going to come up with ways to avoid that.

So here's the deal. My relationship caused me years of struggles. So what I wanted to do for the sake of this video is actually come up with seven principles that I even use even to this day that helped me actually build relationships that were healthy and avoid the toxic ones or avoid the people that were going to harm me by accident or intentionally. The problem is most people spend so much time focusing on themselves that they actually can't focus on what a healthy relationship looks like, inevitably having basically a big problem. Well, the reality is, many times we got to rip the band aid off, right? We have to really dig in deep and determine, are these relationships good for us or are they not good for us? How can you take a vision for someone who has a very small concept of what possibilities looks like, and then share with them this massive idea, this massive vision for your life? They're simply not going to understand it. And if you listen to those specific relationships, you're going to end up empty and miserable. So, as my friend Keith Kraft would say, show me your five friends, and I'll show you your future. And if we take that at face value, one of the things you're going to learn is that you're going to need to focus on healthy relationships to help take you where you want to go. One of my greatest tipping points in my entire life that so many of you guys know about is my first mentor, Steve Myrick. Right. Who many people don't know. But Steve Myrick taught me to think differently. He taught me to look at people differently. He taught me to build a relationship based on influence and trust and character. So that's what we're really after. So let's go ahead and jump into the seven principles to help you magnify your relationships and actually have healthy ones to take you from stuck to unstoppable.

Now, principle number one is an important one because to me, it's where everything starts. And that principle is referred to lean in. It's the practice of actually expressing empathy and clarity and understanding and perspective on a regular basis. People are going to want to have people they know, like, and trust on a regular basis. And either you are one or you need to be one, right? So with this grand scheme of things, great people lean in to actually Express and gain empathy, share clarity, grab additional understanding and perspective in an effort to make sure that they are building a bridge for connection. So make sure you're taking the time to lean towards somebody else's direction. Avoid selfishness at all costs, and that will help you in this particular area. Principle number two is vital to success. Listen before you speak. The only way you're going to get enough perspective, get enough understanding, and build trust is to listen before you speak. Why? Because people are people and they all want to feel seen, heard and valued. People that feel heard always feel valued. So if you're taking the time to listen, to gain perspective, to gain some wisdom and work through some things, there's a greater chance of building the magic word called trust. We all want to be around people we know like and trust. So why not become someone that everyone wants to know like and trust. And the only way you get there is by taking the time to listen before you speak. So make sure you don't miss out on that, because if you do, you could be making a big mistake. Let's jump into the next one. Principle number three. Learn with intentionality. Each of us has our own set of struggles, strengths and blind spots. We've talked about that many times in previous videos. Fortunately for us, we can take those opportunities to learn more about ourselves and about others, about their values, about their tendencies, and about the connection points that allows us to actually come up with something that I like to refer to as building bridges and not ditches. It's more important to constantly looking for ways to connect with people, then figure out more ways to just be right. Those that are right all the time are seldom people well, that people really want to hang out with on a regular basis. No one likes hanging out with a know it all right? You got to be careful about that. So make sure you're taking the time to learn someone else right. Study them, learn their values, learn their tendencies, learn these connection points and make sure you're always building bridges. Moving on to principle number four. Be respectfully honest at all times. Here's what I mean by that. We all have been there before where we're trying or we sincerely want to be honest with someone about something we're feeling a frustration or even share an idea with. But we don't do so because we're scared to do so because of how the other person is going to react. I've learned that if you're not honest almost in every single circumstance and that comes back to haunt you and backfire on you on a later basis. You get stuck trying to tiptoe around things rather than actually hit them face on. Now, I understand that's not an easy saying, and sometimes it's not easy to understand or even pursue, but it's important. Look for ways to constantly be expressing yourself in such a way where you can be honest, but also express the very sentiments that's at the heart, that's at the core. Because here's what I realized. People actually enjoy when people actually tell them the truth, even though it may sting at first. So make sure you take the time to be respectfully honest and that will help you win in these relationships. Let's move on to the next one. Principle number five, above all, Keep your word even if others don't. Yes. Keep your word even if others don't. Let your yes be your yes and your no be your no. My grandfather who survived Pearl harbor, the one thing that he could actually be counted on more than anything else was that his handshake meant something. His handshake was like signing a contract on the dotted line. He refused, absolutely refused to go back on his word. Now, there were times where his word conflicted with what reality could be. But that also meant that he had an opportunity to build trust by being honest, respectfully, and also taking the time to honor his word by changing some of the parameters around it. Make sure you are honest and you keep your word. I'm going to go ahead and tell you not everybody's going to do this. You're going to run into people that frustrate you because they won't keep their word. That is absolutely no reason why you shouldn't do the same. So make sure you're taking the time to keep your word and then you'll become one of the most respectful people in the room in order to help you win in your relationships. Now, principle number six is actually super important to me, and it's because it's one that I kind of hold dear. It's actually one I share with my team and that is become the embodiment of the leader that you admire most. Consider all the leaders that you have in your life are people that you genuinely admire. Maybe an influencer, maybe a boss, maybe a parent. What are things about them that you just super duper admire? What are things about them? Characteristics that you just love about that person. How can you take the time to incorporate those things into your communication style and actually be the living embodiment of that to someone else? Imagine what that would be like. Imagine if you've been inspired all your life and then become the inspirer. How many lives could you change? Imagine if you had someone who was very good at education and you adopted the education principle. These are all techniques to become the person you admire most. So make sure you take the time to make sure the integrity in the character is there. But absolutely make sure you lean into this because it's a great principle. If you become the leader you admire, there's a great chance you're going to inspire all kinds of people around you. Now, the last one for today is principle number seven. Above all, be authentic.

Seriously, consider this. How many times do you scroll and you're looking through your phone and whatever social platform you're using? Maybe it's a computer, iPad, whatever. But how many times are you scrolling and you pass by the people you consider fake, right? But yet you stop and click on the link for someone that you admire, someone that you trust, someone that you. That you see that builds you up over time. Someone you believe is authentic. Now imagine that was you. Imagine that you weren't being your truest self, and therefore you weren't actually getting your truest tribe. So many times our tribes are built on us being us, okay? I am not Tony Robbins. I'm not Tom Bilyeu, I'm not Ed Mylett. And all those guys are great and they do great things. But if I'm not my authentic self for you to kind of help illustrate what I'm about, then there's a great chance I'm not going to have anyone that I can influence to help their life, to help them transform everything. So it's very important that you take the time to be the authentic version of you right now, be the best version of you in the most authentic way on a regular basis. And if you'll do that, you'll also get to win the day. You'll also get to build amazing relationships, and you'll open doors that you never thought possible, which is what this is all about, right? Show me your five friends and I'll show your future. If you do these things, not only will you choose better friends, you'll become a better friend. So I hope that helps you and you got something from this because these are the same exact seven principles I use to build amazing relationships. Relationships and to be worthy of being that relationship to someone else. So check out some more videos and keep yourself growing.

Hey, it's Connor with the Journey Principles. If you enjoyed this video, I highly recommend you also watch our whiteboard lesson we did where we covered the four steps to a healthier relationship. Also, we put together an Entire Life Mastery 101 playlist right here on YouTube, so feel free to check that out as well.