8 Tips To Communicate Better

Alright, guys, welcome back. Check it out. 8 tips to help you communicate better. Why? Because, as I mentioned, there's a good chance it could be holding you back from the relationship you want, the career you want, or even holding you back from great friendships. Communication, by definition, is the way in which we connect to the world and the people around us. So having a solid communication style is going to improve your overall chances of winning at life in general. No matter what you're doing with your kids, with your relationships, with your workplace, communication helps us win, period. So let's check this out. All right, number one, lean in. So many times as we are working through things, people aren't leaning in. They're too way too focused on what they want to say rather than listening what needs to be heard. And when you're focused that way and you're actually spending so much time focusing on what you want to say, you're not actually listening, which unfortunately creates a timeframe where you can't build a bridge in that communication or in that relationship. Right. So the first step we want to do in communicating better is we want to lean in. Leaning in is nothing more than spending time trying to gain enough perspective from the other person's point of view first. Now, I struggle with this personally, so one of the things that I have to do a lot of times is I'll pull out my iPhone or I'll pull out my notepad and I'll jot down some of the things I want to say while I'm listening. Why? Because my biggest fear originally was the fact that I wasn't going to be able to remember what I wanted to say in that moment. Well, and I'm sure some of you guys can feel the same way. So the best thing to do is to go into every situation ready to lean in, ready to listen, to understand. Jot down your own notes and then take the wisdom that you learned from that listening and that understanding and move forward. Step two, right, so we got step two coming up. Now, as you think about it, you want to make sure that listening is the primary situation. Now, we talked a little bit about it on the leaning inside when you go to lean in. Leaning in is listening from the understanding perspective and also making sure that you're trying to be present in the moment. Listening, on the other hand, entirely of itself is a skill that has to be developed over time, especially for people like myself who are a little bit, well, adhd, if you will, where there's like a squirrel every five seconds. Listening helps you get to the bottom of what's important. It helps you focus on the problem or the solution without focusing on the person. So often we get distracted and we get off track because we're so focused on the person that we're not listening to actually hear the problem or the potential solutions. So make sure on step two, you're spending a lot of time listening. All right? Step three.

This actually gets our team in trouble from time to time. And that's the clarity of your communication. Alright. Think about when people give you information now, how much of it seems like it's coming from like a murky situation, like a cloudy window or an opaque window? Well, you can only get semblances of what the information is, which means you're not actually getting the full weight or the bull benefit of that. Right. It also means that when you go to communicate, you could also be giving someone that same weird window, that opaque glass, if you will. Right. So you want to make sure that you're taking the time to be as clear as possible. A good friend over at the Ramsey Solutions would say it's unkind to be unclear. Focus on being as crystal clear as you possibly can be in all of your communication as well as the way in which you're actually digesting communication. Feel free to ask questions like, hey, did I understand you correctly? What I heard you say was, can you help me understand this from a different angle? Right. These types of questions help you gain clarity for what you're hearing. And then when you go to give that information back out, you're going to spend a whole lot more time giving valuable details. Why? Because we've talked about it before. There are several personality styles that each of those personality styles takes in information differently. Right. Some need a lot of details. Some needs, like myself, who needs like more of a Cliff Notes version, who wants to have the Cliff Notes available right now, but then want to dig in deep if I have questions? These are types of things that you have to be crystal clear on, which is why we start with lean in and listen. Different personality styles respond differently. They listen differently, they respond differently. So that's how this stuff is starting to kind of come together. So when you're in the moment, be asking yourself, what can I do in this moment to be more clear with my communication? Right. I mentioned our team struggles with us from time to time. Why? Because they have a driver, an owner or CEO that unfortunately likes Cliff Notes. So many of my team are much more detail minded. Okay. So sometimes they'll bring me more details than I think I need and Other times, they want me to give them more details themselves to make sure they're successful. All right, number four, this is one of my favorites, Be honest.

I see a lot of people who not necessarily struggle with the conflict of communication, but struggle with the way in which they can kind of come at it. And unfortunately, if you're scared of conflict, if you're scared of having difficult situation, difficult communications, and inevitably what happens is you get stuff built up and over time, if you haven't been able to communicate and you haven't been able to share the things that are drawing concern to your mind or your heart, so to speak, then inevitably what actually happens is you end up getting stuck. And as you get stuck, you become more and more passive aggressive. In other words, you're trying to tell them what you really mean for them to know and really mean for them to understand and say, but not really say anything, but not really say a way in which they can do anything with it. Okay, so you want to resist the urge to become more of a passive aggressive approach by clearly being honest. Right. You can be honest with somebody and be loving at the same time. One of the techniques that I will typically do is, hey, what I heard you say was this. However, if I'm being honest and being transparent, this is my understanding of blank. Right? These are techniques that remove the emphasis off the person and puts it back on the problem. Right. And that's essentially what you're trying to solve. Most of the time, it's actually not the person who's actually created the problem. Now, they may have attributes, but they're not directly correlated to everything about it. A lot of times, most problems happen when expectations aren't being realized or expectations aren't being met. Right. Otherwise we wouldn't have conflict in communication. So make sure you're personally taking the time to be as honest as you possibly can and moving forward. All right? The next one I have is I call it Walk the Talk.

If you want people to communicate better with you, you're going to have to take the first step in communicating better with them. So we want to make sure that you're taking the time to communicate in such a way that you are being the embodiment, if you will, of the kind of communication you want to have in return. There's a great saying. It says, treat people how you want to be treated. Well, if you want to be treated with dignity and respect, with integrity and character, then treat other people with dignity, respect, and character. At the end of the day, it's about making sure, you're walking the talk. Don't expect people to communicate really well with you if you're not willing to actually be up front, be honest, be clear, make sure you're listening and lean in yourself. These are items that you've got to focus on in order if you are going to take the time to develop solid boundaries, solid communication practices, and actually start to get leveled up in your work life and your relationships. All right. I think the next one that I'm most excited about is I call it show honor. When I get invited to speak at various places, one of the things I love to do is the first thing that I do anytime is I'll actually honor the people who brought me there. I will talk about the great qualities that I know about those people specifically because they brought me there. I was an invitation. Every communication time that you have with people in relationships, in the workplace, whatever has an opportunity for honor. Now, I'm not talking about brown nosing. I'm talking about honor. I'm talking about being able to say one or two things that are true about the person that you admire and respect that maybe brought you there. Okay. For example, I've got a lot of great team members. One of which you guys have seen on the podcast is Connor Kraft. Okay. Connor is amazing at getting content like this orchestrated in such a way that I can share it with you. Okay. Connor is really good about being really heartfelt about the mission we're trying to get going. Right. So which is my way of showing him honor when we're on podcasts or something like that? If I look at Evan, our executive director, right? Evan is really good at project management and starting to put things together. So as all the things that we've got coming down the pipeline for you guys are coming down the pipeline, there's an organizational structure there, right. I can honor each of them every time they come in contact with myself or when I have the opportunity to brag on them, so to speak. Because I personally believe that everybody is brag worthy. Everybody has at least one quality or two qualities or three qualities or 10 qualities that are brag worthy. Things that you can show people, right? That's a semblance of showing honor. It's nothing more than showing there's an importance to that person. Okay. And the final one, I like to kind of think as a bonus, the final one I have is I kind of think of it like this. What do you want to leave behind every time you enter into a conversation, every time you enter into an email, every time you enter into a text message, an Instagram message, or TikTok or Facebook. Every single time that you're sharing a piece of content with someone else, there's an opportunity to create a legacy by thinking ahead of what's in the moment. So often we get so lost in the moment that unfortunately we forget that every single decision, every single communication, every single time that we engage with one another will either set us up for a future legacy or steal from it. One of the reasons that I've been been able to be successful and one of the things that you can do in your own life is to spend more time thinking about what's the ultimate outcome I want to achieve long term, right? I genuinely want to have great relationships with each one of you. I generally want to have an organization that continually feed you. I generally want to have great relationships with my wife and my kids and my business people, right? My clients, my customers. I genuinely want to leave the world better off than I had it, okay? So that prevents me from having knee jerk reactions, for example, and focusing on not being clear or not listening well or not leaning in well, right? Because I'm focused on the legacy piece. Legacy is where it's at. At the end of the day, you're going to want to have things that outlive you, because if you have elements of yourself that outlive you in a roundabout way, you kind of become immortal. So as you can imagine, it's all about legacy. Now, one of the most important things that you need to bring to every single communication, every single one of them, is bring value.

At the heart of every communication is bringing value. It's making sure that you are serving the person you used to be. You are serving in such a way that you. That people want to have you around, right? The people that you want to have in your life always bring you value, whether it's your parents, whether it's your workplace, whether it's your wife, boyfriend, girlfriend, whatever, right? The only people that you typically want around in your inner circle are ones that add value, right? They make you feel like they're part of something special. So in order to kind of make sure that you are also getting as much leverage as possible, you also need to bring value, right? Consider this. Every single time you communicate, utilize these eight tips as a way to kind of become eight filters, right? Am I leaning in? Am I actively trying to understand? Am I actively listening? Right? Am I actively taking the time to listen? Am I being clear with my, with what I'm being told and what I'm also sharing? Am I being honest and transparent and truthful? Am I walking the talk? Am I expecting them to do the same thing I'm doing vice versa? Am I showing honor on a regular basis? All right and finally are you doing legacy and are you bringing value if you'll utilize these eight tips or eight filters if you will, what will happen is is all of a sudden opportunities will open up. You'll have better relationships. You'll probably start getting the promotions of things that you want. Why? Because you are actively engaging in the art of communication. So I hope you enjoyed those eight tips and we'll see you in the next video. Take care.

If you enjoyed that lesson about communication I highly recommend you grab our free ebook linked in the description below. It goes over the seven relationships you have to have to win at life. Also do us a favor like comment subscribe and we'll see you in the next video.