A Lesson In Letting Go with Kute Blackson

The first place to start in terms of letting go and surrender is the willingness to tell the truth. Many times we stay stuck, we stay blocked, we stay cycling in patterns because we've been conditioned to lie to ourselves. We stay in relationships that we hate. We stay in relationships that we know we're no longer in love. We work jobs that we feel no joy, jobs that we hate, jobs that we know we may be compromising our integrity. You know, we betray ourselves and we say yes when we mean no in order to be loved and validated, to get approval. And so it's painful. So if you want to be free, if you want to begin surrendering, letting go and having more freedom in life, you have to be willing, step one, to tell the truth to yourself. So ask yourself the question, what lies am I telling myself? And be willing to be raw and honest. Because there is no transformation without truth.

I'm super excited to talk to you. It's funny, I was. My audience knows this because I've been talking about it recently, but I just came back from a two week sabbatical, first one I've had in probably 20 years. And I was originally gonna go to Scotland, decided last minute to go to go to Utah. No agenda, no nothing. And to kind of be like get re centered, kind of get myself together and kind of do some of the work that I, that I've seen so, so well outlined in the new book. And one of the things that dawned on me is I had this little essence in my spirit. I'm one of those people that is weird and I feel like things talk to me kind of thing. And I heard in my spirit, letting go is not the same as giving up.

And I was, as I was thinking through that, I was like, so, but is letting go the same as surrender? You know, I'm curious to know with, with so much work and everything you've done, all the people you've helped, why is surrender and letting go so vitally important to someone's overall well being?

Yeah, look, I think that surrender, if you understand the true essence of it, is the most powerful thing that you can do. I think that surrender is really the process of life itself and it's the password to freedom, that it is the.

Real secret to manifestation, like manifesting on a next level. It is the key to the next level of our lives. And so I think in our culture today we have this misconception that surrender is weak, that surrender is giving up, that surrender is waving the white flag, that if you surrender, you're going to be taken advantage of, that you're going to be left behind, that you're going to be a doormat, that, that you won't manifest unless you just like force and push and take what's yours and manipulate and make it happen all the time and hustle, hustle, hustle. And nothing wrong with hard work and, and, and focus and intention. But I think, you know, for me, if you really understand the real essence of surrender, like, what if you didn't get less, but you got more, like more than you could have planned and.

Intended with the limited perspective of your ego, of your mind, of your personality, of your Persona. Because really, the degree to which we are sort of locked in our ego identification, that sense of self that we believe ourselves to be, is a degree to which we were not able to see the whole picture of life and unable to see how all of the dots connect. And so surrender is a. Just so we can kind of set that context. It is a letting go. So we say it's a letting go of what is no longer working in your life. Is it letting go of who is no longer a vibrational match? It's a letting go of control. Or I should say the illusion that we are in control. Because so many of us, we try to control things that we're not even in control of. And that's what creates suffering and anxiety, to control things that you don't have control over. And we're kind of needing to control life to be a certain way for us to be happy. And when things line up a certain way, then I'm going to be happy and feel free. But the truth is, how often does all of this out here in the external environment line up in exactly the way we need it to in order to be happy? And even when it does, it doesn't last. Because the nature of life is transitory. The nature of life is impermanent. So things change. And so the more we need things to fit our certain idea, the more we suffer, the more anxious we feel. So letting go of control, or the illusion of control, control being that master addiction, letting go of trying to force and manipulate life to be something that it really isn't, or to. For another person to be what we want them to be because we think it's better for them, but they're not that. And so that's when we suffer. So it's giving up this idea of who we think we should be and how we think life should be so that we can be truly open to what is. And be truly open to what is seeking to happen. And I think that's where the real freedom is. And so surrender is a. You're kind of taking the limitations off of life and being available and open and receptive. And it doesn't mean you sit there and do nothing. It doesn't mean you're simply passive and just let me sit on the couch and eat Doritos and watch Netflix all day. It might mean manifesting as being still.

Not necessarily sitting still.

It might mean you're like, you know what? I want to lose weight. And I'm going to have to surrender to the fact that I'm going to have to wake myself up and go to the gym and move through my resistance and I'm going to surrender to a cup, to the deeper commitment rather than just the fleeting mood that I have in the moment. See, to me, the old paradigm of living, the old paradigm of success, the old paradigm that many self help books talk about, I think is a certain stage of evolution. And all I mean by that is that old paradigm is really based on the ego based model of living, creating and manifesting life. What do you want? Get clear on what you want, know what you want, you got to know what you want and then go make it happen. Which you can manifest that way. You can manifest amazing things that way. But often it can be limited because sometimes you get what you thought you wanted, the new, the I that is making things happen. But you get what you thought you wanted, only to realize that what you thought you wanted was not what you really wanted. It was just what you thought you wanted based on who you thought you were. But if you're not in touch with who you are, then what you think you want will sometimes be like a projection of your wound, your ego, of your unmet needs from childhood. And it's never truly fulfilling that way.

And you have just chasing and chasing.

And chasing and it never ends and it creates more stress and it creates. So we have to let go of that. And so the, you could say the, the I think the new way where we are being, I think humanity as a whole, like, like if you look at the last three years as a humanity, however people perceive it, and whatever you think about it, this pandemic experience, we all went through it, we all live through, and here we are. I feel it's like we were all thrown into a surrender seminar as a human species and I think as a humanity, we are being evolved. We are being forced to evolve into a new way of living and operating that is moving from an egocentric ego based way of living. Control, control, control to one that is more in harmony with life, one that is more in harmony with nature. One that. One that is kind of helping us evolve, to connect more with our soul, with our spirit, with our true essence. And to me the question moves from what do I want? What do I want? To.

What is it that life is seeking to express through me? What is it that the universe is seeking? What is it that God, the divine, the infinite intelligence, whatever people may believe, what is the deepest impulse of what my soul is seeking to express? And kind of like catching that vision, being receptive to that vision, being obedient, being responsive, living in alignment with that deepest, most authentic truth, which may not always be what you think it is, but it will be what it's meant to be. Truly in your highest. And I think that's what it is to be in flow with your destiny, to be in flow with your purpose, to be in flow with your Dharma, to be in sync with yourself and your soul. And I think that's where the, the pieces. Because you could be doing what you think you should be doing and still not be happy, which is why many folks are not happy. They have everything.

That was my life for 10 years. 10 years. I mean, I've, I was telling somebody recently, I've done a lot of very incredible things. I've been very blessed. I've also been through a lot of garbage to kind of get here. And then that entire vision of who I thought I needed to be, what I thought I needed to achieve, what I thought I needed to obtain, all of that once received was completely meaningless.

Yeah.

Meanwhile, I noticed that when I would light up.

Yeah.

When I was in service of others.

Yes.

You know, and I, and I feel like that that's one of the you, you talked about a movement or an evolution, if you will. I think that that's where we're moving from. I think we're moving from this manipulative, self serving environment into a much higher vibration that's connected to more of the. Hey, what to your point, what can be expressed through me that can be in the service of others? And then the more we're in the service of others, it appears that the more open doors and the more we're in flow. Has that been your experience as well?

The more we're in service of, you know. Yeah. I think, I think you can only truly experience so much fulfillment when you're focused on yourself. If it's all about you, like when you achieve everything that you thought you Wanted the car and the house, nothing wrong with it. I'm not anti material. But you will reach a point of dissatisfaction. You know, you like, you drive that Lamborghini or that car or that and it's like at a certain point it's just another car, you know, and so.

Did you get into a crank up and drive.

It's great, you know, and, and, and you know, Elon Musk, right. Or Jeff Bezos is like how many pairs of underpants can they wear at one time? You know, so at some point you. The life of just getting and self focus leads to dissatisfaction.

Yeah.

And if anyone is experiencing a sense of dissatisfaction, I don't think it's a bad thing. I think dissatisfaction can be a sign of growth and evolution. But what we tend to do in our culture is when we feel the, the dissatisfaction, we numb it. We drink it away, sex it away, smoke it away, you know, social media way, shop it away, you know, distract ourselves somehow to not feel it. But I invite people to just feel that dissatisfaction. That's a sign that you're coming to the end of a certain phase where. Yes, that I think that next phase is, is where, where your focus shifts from yourself to the world. And how can I be of service? How can I, how can I make be a contribution? Because then you start moving into a phase where you're no longer, you're moving out of a sense of separation. There's me and there's the world. And in that shift, that evolutionary shift, there's me and the world is really a mirror, an extension of who I am. You're an extension of who I am. That, that sort of boundaries, kind of the ego sense of separation starts dissolving and including more and more of humanity. And I think there's a, there's a, there's a tremendous glow and a tremendous joy when you're living for more than just yourself.

Yeah.

And I think that that's. If you look, if you look at any of the truly great ones, right? Jesus, Buddha, Gandhi, Mother Teresa, Mandela, Martin Luther King, you know, Elon Musk in his own way, you know, in so many ways, they're not living just for themselves, they're living to serve. If you even let like business guy, richest guy in the world, you might think he's selfish, you know, selfish dude. But the truth is so much of his focus in his interviews, when you really hear him talk, is about creating a, a future for humanity that is driving him in a certain way. And of course he makes money and that's great. But it is not just how can I pay my rent and how can I get my car? It's. The focus is different. And so I think when at some point all of these great humans people, they had to. They got to the point in their lives where they surrendered themselves, they shifted their focus and they had to surrender themselves to that bigger purpose, that bigger vision, that bigger contribution that compelled that. In that surrender, they transcended their humanity limitations. And I think they were able to. To transcend themselves and they kept into another dimension of life because they weren't just focused on themselves. And they. That was a. That enabled them to tap into another dimension of their own inner resource, their own potential, the innate talent that then life was able to use them and flow through them and express through them. And, and many of these people became vessels and vehicles, you know, for the betterment of humanity. Because. Well, I know that when I was.

On that sab of the things that happened to me is I discovered if I surrender to what was, I was doing two different things. So I'm surrendering to what is or what was, but I'm also basically receiving. I'm opening myself up to receiving. So it's a closed. A closed. A closed hand versus an open palm, right?

Yeah.

And the other side of that is I realized that the longer I didn't surrender to what is or what was, I was going to try to control what could be rather than letting what could be find me. Does it make sense?

And that's. Yeah, that's the difference. True surrender is taking those limitations off of life and allowing life to show you, allowing yourself, allowing life to lead you. And that's where the magic happens. Because then life in its intelligence is. Is. Is. Is unfolding from a deeper dimension than your mind. The ego mind that we believe ourselves to be, you know, can only see a small sliver of the pie. Can only. Can only. When we create from the ego, the ego, which is condition. That's a whole nother conversation which we can get into. But the ego, which is condition. The ego is conditioned based on experiences in the past. The ego is conditioned based on things that have already happened. So, so we're not able. So when we create from the ego, whatever we create from the ego will tend to be limited because it's limited to past experience. But when we tap into a deeper dimension of surrender and we're available, and part of surrender is being available when we're available, when we're open, then you could say the vision and the life and the inspiration will often Arise from a deeper dimension than your mind, a deeper dimension than your ego, a deeper dimension than your logic, a deeper dimension than your experience. And that's when what can. I want to say, what you can create, but what can be created through you and in your life is not limited in any sense because it's arising from an unlimited source. A source that we all are part of and we all are connected to this innate intelligence, so to speak. And so there is a different. Because you talked about like, like being with what is right and accepting what is. Now, I just want to clarify, there is a difference between acceptance and. Here is a very important piece, and surrender. A lot of people think that acceptance, which is being with what is, is surrender. And it's subtle, but it's big. It's not. Acceptance is a phase. There's like six phases of surrender. But acceptance is a phase just before surrender. Accepting what is, yeah, you got to accept what is in order to change what is in order to find peace and let go of stress. The more you fight what is, the more you suffer. So one stage is accepting what is. It's raining outside. Got to accept it. I'm pissed off. I'm mad because I wanted to go, you know, sunbathing, but it's raining outside. Or my wife is a certain way, my husband is a certain way. I hate it, I don't like it. And they shouldn't be that way, suffering, okay, they are this way. But I'm still mad. And you can be in acceptance and still be mad and like, well, I'm gonna hold back my loving because I don't like what they are and I want them to change. And now I'm gonna accept what they are, but I'm gonna be a little upset inside of myself. So this is acceptance. Surrender is the open hearted, full participation with the process of life. You could be in acceptance and not participate. I'll accept who this person is and my husband is, and I won't leave. But I'm not participating fully in the relationship, but I'm still here that can be accepted. Surrender is saying, okay, this is what it is. How do we participate fully and work with it and play with it and give everything to this experience, knowing that. So there's two things that kind of need to happen. One shift is when you realize that you're a soul. You're a soul that is evolving in this human experience. And all of life is part of the university for your soul's curriculum. That means all of experience is teaching you something. Every situation is A classroom when you can start seeing life from that perspective, then you're able to embrace surrendering in a situation to what is my soul seeking to learn? What does this person teach me? And your surrender is sometimes not just to the situation, but it's to the lesson within the situation. So surrender is when you say, okay, it's raining outside and I don't like it, but we're all going to go inside and we're going to have a family gathering and, you know, toast marshmallows and have a great evening together. And like, let's surrender to this and participate fully. And that's the difference. But the phase here's the last thing between acceptance. The reason why people often don't get to true surrender is they miss the phase in the middle. And the phase in the middle is grieving, griefing. Many times we don't allow ourselves to grieve fully. Because, you see, surrender is a death. It's a death of who you thought you were, is a death of your youth. It's a death of an idea. It's a death of control. It's a death of the ego. It's a letting go. It's a letting something die that is no longer aligned to it is a death. And often when we don't allow ourselves to grieve, we're still stuck in the energy of the past, the challenges in our culture today. We're not taught how to grieve. So we feel grief, we feel pain.

Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry.

Right? We suppress it because we think it's going to last forever. We think it's going to be overwhelming. We think we won't be able to handle it. Sometimes we try to do a spiritual bypass and stay positive. Law of attraction and want to stay positive. So I'm going to suppress that. But not realizing. Whatever you suppress will possess optimistic, overwhelming. There you go. And then we just attract situations that mirror and represent the thing that we're not feeling. And then we attract what we don't want to us. And so it's so important to allow yourself to grieve. Like, let's say this, in these pandemic times, there may have been dreams that didn't manifest for people, and there's grief around unmanifested dreams. But if we carry that grief, then we go forward into our future. If we're carrying that grief, there will be a part of our heart that may not be fully open to the new because we're afraid of being disappointed or a Relationship ends and it was so heartbreaking and you kind of shut off. Don't grieve. It's going to be hard to surrender to a new relationship when your heart is still hurt. And you'll tend to not surrender and control and be closed as a form of self protection. And so when you truly allow yourself to grieve and honor what was and feel those feelings and let go, then your heart can open to the joy and the bliss and the happiness and the enthusiasm, you know, of the new. And so yeah, I'm going to surrender and trust life and trust that life is working for my highest good and be open to, to the new rather than being afraid of the new.

Yeah, no, it's so, so good. I was actually just thinking too. It seems to me like at different levels of my own personal journey, there were essences of limiting beliefs, Y but there was essences of me calling in only to the level of my highest limiting belief, if that makes any sense. So basically I'm mirroring or I'm calling in, but I'm only going as far as I can believe as possible. Right. How does surrender maybe help us overcome that hurdle to get to that next step to really kind of manifest and bring in to really what is meaningful?

You know, I think this is why I mentioned earlier that we've been conditioned to create from the ego.

And then next level is we've been conditioned to believe we are the ego.

And the degree to which we believe we are the ego is the degree to which we're not free. Because the ego can only see a small sliver of life and a situation and reality. And it thinks it knows, but it doesn't. And so if we've been conditioned to believe we are this ego, the ego is the mind, body mechanism that we believe us. I am coot, I am this thing. But what is that that is made up from thoughts, feelings, beliefs. And so the more we hold onto this structure of thoughts, feelings, beliefs that based on past experiences that we believe ourselves to be, the more limited we are. Right. And so part of why it's hard to let go of limiting beliefs, I mean we just, just let them go.

Yeah.

Okay. Let it go. Okay, I'm going to write down. I let go of my limiting beliefs, but I still believe them. Why is it hard? Because the degree to which we believe ourselves to be that belief structure that ego is the degree to which.

The ego is what resists letting go. The ego is what resists surrender. Because surrender is a death. And when you understand the nature of the ego, a lot shifts. And so the job of the ego, that's that which we mistakenly believe ourselves to be, is to protect you from getting hurt Again, like you were hurt when you were young. Certain beliefs were installed, and we can go really deep into this, but, like, I'm unworthy and I'm unlovable.

Yeah.

Certain beliefs were installed based on mom wasn't around, dad wasn't around, they left me, mom abandoned me. So I'm unworthy and I'm unlovable. And now we hold that as a belief. And we go through life and now we seek to kind of attract people, be in relationship with people, to reinforce that belief about ourselves. So we can say, see, what I know about myself is true. I'm unworthy and I'm unlovable. Now, we could just say, let it go. Yeah, the ego's job. And why don't we let it go? Because the ego's job is to protect you from getting hurt, and the ego's job is to reinforce its existence and identity. So if I believe I'm unlovable, to let that go feels like, oh, shit, who will I be? What will I be? It's scary. Like, I. I, as my know, as I know myself to be, will die. And so it's a protection mechanism. Now, let's deal as a metaphor with this example of I'm unlovable. I'm going to try to break down something in a very simple way. Let's just say you have this belief of I'm unworthy or I am not lovable as I am, I'm unworthy as I am. Now, that is obviously going to limit your capacity to receive. That will obviously limit your capacity to manifest. Because if you don't believe you're worthy and lovable, then you're not going to accept love in the form of a relationship. You can go on all the dating apps you want. You can go out on all the blind dates you want. You can be with the Mother Teresa of a partner, but you will either sabotage it, push it away, not accept it, or you just won't be open with an energetic field around you to push relationships away. And so we could say, just let that belief go. Why do we not let that belief go? It's a form of control. It's a form of. Well, how would it be a form of control? Here's the thing.

Control from the ego.

Maybe when we're young, I give a. I'll break it down. When we're young, we're not. We feel like we're not being loved or we feel something isn't happening. It is much easier to say I am unworthy and I am unlovable. Now we have a belief about that because from that place, the reason it's a form of control is because unconsciously we start believing, well, if I'm unworthy and I'm unlovable, then maybe I can actually, I still have some control to do something about it. So now I can change my hairstyle. I can. I can make $50 million. I can get Botox, I can get new boobs. I can. I can do therapy and improve my personality. I can lose weight, I can build muscle, and then I'm going to be lovable. Which is why then so often we go into the world and we try to control things to be lovable. If I can get money, if I can make this, if I can do that, then I'm going to be lovable. And so when you say, well, let it go, it's like, oh, shoot, that's.

My safety line, my bungee cord.

If I let that go, then I may not have control anymore. And so in that situation, as an example, what we have to begin letting go of is that belief of I'm unlovable. Well, then what is the alternative? The alternative is to accept and surrender to the truth, which was my mom, my dad, my caretaker. They weren't capable. Yeah, they were not capable. The truth was they weren't capable. They didn't have the emotional mental capacity. But white. So it seems more safe to hold on to I'm unlovable is because if I'm unlovable, I can still do something about it. But if I accept that they weren't capable, ego kicks in and feels like now I'm not in control because it's not in your control anymore. And so the way we have been unconsciously conditioned to be in control is well intended, is just limiting. It limits us. And so when we're holding on to certain beliefs, I'm unlovable. You can see why you're not able to manifest. And so what needs to be, you could say, let go of is. Is the sort of ego identification of what we believe ourselves to be. So, so when we're born as children, we're free. You know, a child, child doesn't know that they don't love.

They're running around naked, having a good old time.

They poop their pants and they, they have no shame, right? They just, you know, have a newborn, pooped his pants, and he's sitting there.

Tyler literally says, come wipe my butt.

Like, yeah, come wipe my butt. I deserve it. I'm worthy here. I am, right? A child will jump on the table and sing and shout. Doesn't care. Doesn't sound like Bruno Mars is a meeting fully free. And so what happens? We get conditioned. We incarnate, into this human experience. We mean our parents, God bless them. They're just doing the best that they know how to do based on their experience.

They can only parent to the level in which they were parented themselves. And if their generations above them have had difficult parenting styles, I mean, they're only going to know so much.

Unless we heal ourselves and break free. Exactly. Unless we.

Which is the precise reason this conversation's happening.

Yes. Unless we truly heal ourselves and break free from our conditioning. And that's how we get conditioned. Mom was crazy, dad was crazy. They were fighting all the time. So we learned to shut down, disconnect, not feel. Layers and layers and layers and layers and layers of unprocessed emotion built up. And we kind of closed our hearts as a way to not feel the pain of feeling helpless, of not having those knees met. We. We also learn unconsciously, a certain way of being. Who do I need to be in order for mom to love me? Who do I need to? So we develop a role, a mask, a Persona, and then we contort ourselves into a certain shape to become who we think we need to be in order to get love, validation and approval.

And end up living somebody else's life.

We end up. So then the version of us, then we say, well, no, no, no, no. It's not someone else's life, Stephen. This is just who I am. This is. And we believe.

I'm going to say bs, right?

But the. But look at how many of us, right, we believe that who we are is who we are, but it's not. And then we go and pursue being a doctor and doing this job, and, yes, we end up living someone else's life, the false version of ourselves. Yeah. And wonder, why am I not happy? Why am I not fulfilled? Because the version of ourselves is conditioned based on that conditioning. What we're manifesting is based on the condition.

Meanwhile, the soul is yearning for truth.

So, yes. And so I think that, you know, this is interesting. I think that sometimes.

Sabotage. And, you know, all of us, at some moments, we've sabotaged a relationship. We maybe sabotaged our. Our life in some way. Sometimes there's an underlying positive intention for sabotage because there's a deep part of our soul that Knows that what we're living is the lie. And this is a sort of unhealthy way, but still a way that we're just trying to break free of the lie that we've created so that we can like burn our life down in a certain way to kind of allow more of the soul to come through. And I think that that's part of the. I would say that you don't have to burn your life down in that way if you're willing to do this. And here is a thing that everyone. For those listening and wondering, well, what do I do? How do I. The first place to start in terms of letting go and surrender.

Is the willingness to tell the truth. Many times we stay stuck, we stay blocked, we stay cycling in patterns because we've been conditioned to lie to ourselves. We stay in relationships that we hate. We stay in relationships that we know we're no longer in love. We work jobs that we feel no joy, jobs that we hate, jobs that we know we may be compromising our integrity. You know, we betray ourselves. And we say yes when we mean no in order to be loved and validated and get approval. And so it's painful. So if you want to be free, if you want to begin surrendering, letting go and having more freedom in life, you have to be willing, step one, to tell the truth to yourself. So ask yourself the question, what lies am I telling myself? And be willing to be raw and honest, because there is no transformation without truth. You have to want to be free more than you want what you have. And so if we can start there. But what I tell people too is sometimes the fear, the ego doesn't see. The ego doesn't want to change. Now we say we want to, but.

It'S just, I'm fine, I'm safe, I'm good.

It's self preservation. Yeah, it's self preservation. Because change feels like a death. Because that's why we don't want to question ourselves. That's what we don't want to. We don't want to question our beliefs. Because what if I have my beliefs and then I let go of my beliefs? Who the hell am I going to be? Whoa, that's scary. That's the unknown. No, no, no. Let me just keep believing that I'm not enough. Let me just keep believing that I'm not good. Let me just keep believing that I'm not right. And that keeps us in a sense of self preservation mode. This is who I am. Even if it's not working, at least I Know the suffering that I have rather than the unknown possibility of love and joy. And so one of the. One of the things we have to be willing to do because we're afraid of the consequence of what might happen if we start telling the truth is take the pressure off of yourself of having to take any action and say, okay, I'm just going to tell the truth. I'm just going to tell the truth. I am no longer in love with my wife. You don't have to leave. You don't have to break up. Just tell the truth. I hate my job. I have an alcohol problem. Okay? Just get into relationship with what is which is the truth. And that will begin a process inside of you of inner transformation. And then you start to feel those feelings and that will start taking you in a direction.

One of the things that you said in the book that I really love, you said, surrender is not denial. Surrender is reality.

You surrender to reality. Yeah.

Yeah. I think that that's so powerful because I was just thinking, part of my mind went back to when I was homeless. The first step of me going from homelessness to where I'm at today was literally in front of a mirror at a public restroom.

Wow.

Literally, it was like, dude, what the hell are you doing?

Nice.

You don't. You don't even have to be here.

Yeah, like.

Like we're like. And that began the process of unpacking it. You mentioned truth and transformation. I used to say that there's no transformation without transparency. But you can't have transparency with yourself if every time you talk to yourself, you're using guilt, shame, condemnation, doing all this kind of stuff. I had to get to a place in my life where I began having that conversation with myself as an outside party, as a director, and looking at a movie as someone who was open to being radically honest. And radically honest doesn't mean judgment and condemnation. Radically honest means this is who I am right now. These are the thoughts, beliefs, and actions I've taken to get here. These are the things that I think empower me. And these are the things that I think are holding me back or that don't serve me and begin breaking that stuff down.

Radical honesty, man. That's the self awareness, the self reflection, and that radical willingness to tell your. To me, Truth is real spirituality. Truth is real yoga. Truth is real evolution. The truth will set you free. And many of the things that we pray to God about. God help me.

He's like, I've already answered that.

He goes like, leave me alone. Leave me alone. Like, go, go, go get honest with yourself. You know, many of the things we. We pray about would resolve if we started telling ourselves the truth about what we feel, you know, But. But because of our ego structure, which we've discussed, we're often afraid. So if you can just start with telling the truth and feel. Feel what's there, that. That begins the process. Like, to me, truth is the foundation of. Of a fulfilling life.

Well, and I think one of those truths is something you said in the book that I absolutely love, which is in our. In our ability to desire for control. We end up getting controlled.

Yeah.

Like, we end up. We end up putting the noose around our own neck, so to speak.

Yes, yes.

So let's talk about surrender and shaking. Luke. You know, we talked about the. You know, so I have no doubt that the audience is. Is absolutely loving this. They're like. Because these. They're. We're unpacking things that are driving certain behaviors. We're unpacking things that drive self sabotage, limiting beliefs, all this kind of stuff. Let's assume for just a second that because a lot of our audience is entrepreneurs, achievers, leaders, that kind of thing. So let's assume for a second that I've been a very successful entrepreneur, leader, achiever, in a specific category. But I know that. I know that I'm not happy, right? So where would I start to feel that. To unwind that, that. That twine.

Feel it. The truth. It starts with the truth. You don't have to leave, by God, because here's the thing. Oh, shit. If I admit to myself I'm making 200, I've worked with billionaires, you know, celebrities, and some really successful folks. And the fear is, if I acknowledge that I'm not happy, then I have this $200 million business. And then what is that? What does that mean? Who am I? And then I built this thing and what will happen? And so there's a fear of acknowledging the truth because we're afraid of the consequences. And so what I would say is start with the truth. Sometimes entrepreneurs who are successful, we get caught in the trap of success. We do something. It works, we keep doing it. Society validates us for it, as well as our financial statements and bank accounts. And then, so we keep doing it and keep doing it and keep doing it, but we're no longer growing, we're no longer evolving, and now we're feeling happy because we're not growing and we're not evolving anymore. And to me, the true purpose of life is evolution. Your soul doesn't care about anything else about other than your evolution. And. And so if you're caught in a trap of success, as you mentioned, there may be not feeling happy. And you wonder, what do I do? You have to be willing to feel, feel the pain. To feel. To feel, well, I'm not happy. And what we tend. The thing that we tend to do, though, in our culture is we distract ourselves. We drink it away. Oh, I'm not happy. Let me. Let me buy. Let me. Let me buy a new car. I'm not happy. Let me. Let me have more sex. I'm not happy. Let me have an affair. I'm not happy. Let me buy some jewelry. I'm not happy. Let me, you know, go on vacation. I'm not happy. Let me. Let me eat more food. And so we distract ourselves in a prison of our own making, right? And then we stay stuck in the loop. And so I would say that unhappiness that you feel or that's kind of creeping in there is simply a gift. It is feedback to you. It is feedback. Pain is feedback. When you are not in alignment or when you're lying to yourself, the result is pain. When you're out of alignment or you're lying to yourself, it's not meant to feel good. It's not like if you eat dog poop on the street. It's not meant to feel good. When you're not in alignment, it's not meant to feel good. And that's not bad. That is a sign that you're healthy, that there's feedback happening inside of you that's showing you you're out of alignment. The challenge is, most of us, we don't listen. We don't listen. We don't listen. We don't listen way off course. Ten years. We're now depressed, you know, on drugs, drinking alcohol, just to numb the feeling. So feel. Take some space in your day to feel the feeling. And then ask yourself, what is this feeling telling me? I would say make sure you take. If you're really in that place, take 30, 40, 50 an hour a day out of the world, out of doing, to feel, to journal, to write, to get in touch with a deeper truth and see, what is this feeling communicating to me? Because likely your soul is trying to move you to another level, another level of giving, another level of serving another evolution, another path, another. Another way of expressing yourself in the world. And to me, that is the process of. Of growth and evolving. So feel it, feel it, feel it. Be honest and then start taking the Steps. And so unplug yourself from the distractions in life so that you can listen to the guidance of your soul, listen to what is next, and then you can begin making changes in your life step by step.

Well, on top of the amazing magic surrender book and, and the work there is deep. It's profound. I've to be, and just be completely transparent and truthful and honest. I kept finding myself rereading and rereading and rereading certain segments. Not because I didn't understand it, but because my soul was feeling it. Like it was, it was just like it was kind of permeating there. But I also know you got a pretty awesome event coming up. So like, tell me about the event.

Look, in a nutshell, it's called boundless bliss. So I would say if you're someone, and we've had many, many, many mega entrepreneurs and business people and game changers that come to this event. I've done this event for the last 10 years. This is my final year doing this event. It's a 12 day, life changing, transformational experiential immersion seminar, Training without Walls in Bali, Indonesia this year. The next event is July 28th through August 8th and then the final one is December 5th through the 16th. So depending when people listen to this. But you know, I was guided to create this event over 10 years ago because I went to Bali, I had a profoundly transformational experience. And I was told that there were leaders and visionaries and game changers, those that would impact humanity, that when they heard about this event, would feel a resonance inside of them and would, would want to come, you know. And so this is really about preparing leaders to lead because you can't lead others if you can't lead yourself. And so for me, in this event, I create processes and an experiential, shall we say, step by step process that is designed to help you peel away the layers of conditioning, free yourself from the past, connect you with your power and authentic self and voice, and really help you clarify what your true soul's calling is and then catapult you forward in the world. So it's 12 days in Bali, July 28th through August 8th. And it's, it's, it's like, I mean, it's, there's no words.

One of the things I've heard about the events that you put on is that you actually help people accelerate or overcome their mortality. You use mortality practices to help them overcome their mortality, which allows them to align themselves to the very soul's resonance that they're Trying to achieve.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think in many ways.

As humans, we're afraid of death. Yeah, we're afraid of death.

But the truth is we're all going to die. And the more we are afraid of death, I found, the more we are often afraid of living fully and loving fully. It's the ego that doesn't want to. That doesn't want to die. But the truth is, if we. If we are believing that we are the ego, we will always be in fear. Doesn't matter how much money you have. And the deeper truth is what we are truly is infinite. We are infinite beings. We are a spark. What is living us and breathing us is a spark of the infinite intelligence of life. But we've forgotten that, you know, and. And as we've forgotten that we believe that we're just this limited body and we're born and then we die, and then that's it, and that's over.

And get some stuff in the middle.

Yeah. But what we are is. We are infinite potential and life. And so I think when. When we can remember who we are and what we are, there is a. There was a. There was an inner power that. You look at Mandela, you look at Martin Luther King, they were in touch with this internal soul force.

Yeah.

Internal force inside of them that was beyond their own ego selves. And so for me, that is the intention of my work, is to help uncondition people. I don't teach people. I unteach, I uncondition. I untrain you from the patterns of conditioning that prevent you from living and connecting to that inner power.

Well, I think you do that, but I think you also do it with. Merging it with wisdom to be able to see the difference. Right. So there's. There's one thing to uncondition and unwind and pull apart. There's another thing to do all of that and then align.

Yeah. Right.

So people. I mean, I've. A lot of. A lot of folks that I know have. Have raved about your program, and everybody should absolutely check it out. And. Yeah, I just. One of the reasons I wanted to have you on is because you're one of the few people in the world that I trust with this depth of level of what it means to be truly aligned, truly living out your purpose. Some would say you're calling.

Yeah, for me. For me, man, it's. It's. It's. It was never a business. You know, I didn't have a. I didn't get into this field to make money. A lot of people today in this field sadly, you know, because self help has become kind of popular. You know, people read the the Power of now last weekend and now they're a coach. You know, I've been doing this for 20 plus years. I grew up with a father that was consider miracle man a healer. And So I read 800 books by the time I was 18. So for me this is a, it's a calling I have felt called to impact people's lives. Yeah from when I was, when I was age 8. And it's, it's real for me. I live it, I breathe it, I sleep it, I poop it. I, you know, I think this is, this is life. And so I take the responsibility. Like when someone comes to me, you know, in an event or client or even reading my book, it's like this soul, not a client, not a customer, a soul is entrusting me with their evolution. Not just help me their evolution that will then impact their soul's evolution, ripple impact their children and their children and their grandchildren and their great grandchildren. So I take that very serious.

Yeah, well, and I've experienced that, you know, partly through some of the work that you've written, of course. But yeah, I've also experienced it with people that have created legacies that outlive them because they chose to pour into me at my moment of need. And you know, it's crazy me that, you know, old man Myrick who my audience has heard about a thousand bazillion times, there's a mentor that poured into me. Didn't have to, but he chose to. And when he did, he set me on a catalyst to be live a completely different life than what I was trending towards. I was trending towards becoming a laborer or kind of a low, low impoverished person for the rest of my life because that's what my family had always done and known. I mean there were hard workers, don't be wrong, a lot of really good qualities, but they weren't open minded to abundance, they weren't open minded to generosity, they weren't up in mind to considerate gratitude. It was always what can you give me? And this guy set me on a track to do something completely different. Doing a lot of the work that you're saying to do. And dude, I can't thank you enough for stopping by the show today. I can't thank you.

I'm sure, I'm sure he would be, he'd be very proud of you.

Oh, I sure hope so. I'm trying to do a lot of good in the world just as you are. So I'm absolutely looking forward to spending more time with you, getting to know you better. Maybe if I can make out one of those events myself, I think it would be a world changing game Changing.

So for sure, yeah. Yeah. If folks want to find out more, they can go to the website. You know, it's boundless bliss. Boundless blissbali.com and then my, my other website, my main website, K u t e koot blackson.com as well.

Fantastic, fantastic. And we'll link all that in the show notes and all the good stuff. Dude, seriously, thank you so much again. I know you got a busy day of podcast, but for me to you. I love you brother. Thank you so much for stopping by.

Appreciate it.

I hope you liked that video and if you did, make sure you check out this next video right here. You know, we can look at life, but your relationships, your business, your father, your mentor, every single one of those was just a mirror holding back at you, giving you an opportunity to view and to look and resonate at how are you living?

Why are you living that?