Archive Episode The Journey Principles Radio Show 108 Intellectual Wrap Up

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Guiding you to become the hero of your own story. This is the Journey Principles radio show where you are the warrior and we are your weapon. Now here are your hosts, Josh Bledsoe and master life strategist, Steven Scoggins.

Welcome back, everybody, to the Journey Principles radio show. Man, we are so excited to have you back in the studio. And I'm excited to have you back in the studio, sir, to close out the intellectual pillar. If you've been watching and paying attention, downloading and following anything we've been doing at all this month, it's all been about your intellectual pillar. And by now you know that this is not about how book smart you are. This is about how street smart you are. Right, Brian? We're talking about street smarts, right? It's not even about street smarts. We are going to wrap up this intellectual pillar today with something that's near and dear to Steven's heart. Something that actually was in the intellectual pillar when you put it together, but it's kind of manifested itself in new ways here lately. Welcome back to the show.

It's good to see you, man.

Pleasure to have you. So in case you haven't seen it yet, check out Steven Scoggins on Facebook and check out the 30 minute video. Yes, it's 30 minutes, so I gave you a forewarning, but it is well worth your time. Spend the next 30 minutes after the show and watch the video and you understand kind of where he's coming from and a lot of things that are just coming from. Because you guys know us, we're raw, we're real. I screw up a lot and we just have fun with it, right? We're just real people trying to help real people. So let's go ahead and dive into it. Steven, you put it, this video out yesterday on discernment specifically, and you kind of wanted to let the people know where you've been and what's been going on. What drove you? What gave you that light bulb to turn?

Well, if you think about it, last month I was, we were on the show, I was talking about some of the things that I was steadily walking through. And I'd been on the fence for probably.

Probably the last five months about how much to share or what to share with the world, the journey principals world, the. The folks that follow us and whatnot. Most of our views come after this has been recorded and kind of throughout the day when people actually have a moment to check on their phones. Evergreen. Yeah, it's evergreen. That's right. It's pretty it's passive. At any rate, I felt compelled and I have been feeling this way for quite some time to just be real and true. I think a lot of times the folks that kind of do are in this arena, whether either they're a host of a radio show or their speaker or an author or whatever, a lot of times we're always polished.

Yeah, you're prepared. Like you practice.

Yeah, you're proud, you're prepared. Your practice, you've been reading your notes, you've been studying this, you've been studying that, you've been trying to get to know your audience and all that kind of stuff and all that's important. And I'm take that away from the professionals, as I like to put it. But one of the things that I've always wanted to be with the public is just be me, just be raw, just be me. And what I did was I decided to take it upon myself to just share the last five months of my life. You know, because we've talked, we've had several shows where we got to talk about how successful the businesses have been that I'd, you know, created how successful the team members had been that had.

Been working with a lot of highlight stories.

Yeah, a lot of highlight stories. It's kind of like when you go on Facebook, it's always your best photo, you know, it's, it's always, you know.

You crop it, you put that little filter on it. You can like get rid of wrinkles and stuff. Clearly I needed to use it myself. But.

What we don't do a lot of times is we don't share the down in the dirty, if you will. And for me, that's not who I want to be. That's not what I want to be known for. That's not how I want to share experiences. The reason it's called the Journey principles is because everybody's on a journey.

That's right.

And then it's about applying principles along the way to kind of help you shape up. And I found myself the last few months actually doing the very same stuff we've been teaching. I've had to.

I won't give too much away, but the videos, it is about 30 minutes long, but everybody tells me it goes about really fast. Yeah.

Because it actually, it's chronological. You know, when I heard that you're going to put out a 30 minute video, I was like, oh boy, here we go, buckle up. But you did it in a way that's very chronological. And it reads kind of like a book.

Yeah.

To be honest with you.

Yeah. And I'm sure in the, you know, when we get a chance to go ahead and start working on the next book again, I'll probably throw it. Probably put those stories in there with a lot more cloth, a lot more color, a lot more clarity, you know, to make it just truthful.

Yeah.

And I think that's what people miss the most, is be us being truthful. The reality is life for me specifically personally has been very difficult the last five months.

Not really for anything that I can remember seeing or viewing that I did incorrectly. I'm sure I'm like, I'm human. So I'm sure I made some mistakes along the way, but there were events that happened in my life that were kind of came out of nowhere, almost like a blind slide, a blind side.

There you go.

She's man coffee dangerous. And you know, and I've been trying to walk through that ever since. I had to step back in full time to my main business and basically put myself back together. Not myself personally, but put them in many aspects. The business back together. Yeah. My previous executive team, members of the previous executive team had decided to go out and create a competitive company.

Right.

Which I didn't see coming largely because I felt like I had given them enough rope and enough leeway to kind of run a business. They were all, they were all very, very well compensated given their level of expertise and experience that they had based on where the business was at this time and you know, and all the meetings leading up to this, they were excited about. We were doing this, or at least that's what they would tell me, that, you know, you should totally be doing the journey principles. We know you love it, we know you're passionate about it. We, we know that's what you believe in, so you should totally be doing it. Meanwhile, fast forward over the course of two years. I'm not sure if it was getting to see some of the financial matters behind a business of che size or if it was.

Some of the other leadership qualities that kind of go with it. I'm not really sure what was really driving it 100%, but at any rate, they decided to do it on their own. They did not come and have a conversation with me ahead of time and say, hey, look, we just disagree with their direction or whatever. They just, from lack of a better word, I actually found out by a third party person and one of my general managers in another market and he called me actually almost basically crying, saying, hey, I don't know how I'm Gonna tell you this. And literally took him 30 minutes to just tell me what he needed to tell me.

Pretty. Pretty scared to give you that news. It's pretty heavy.

Yeah, he was. And, you know, and he. He told me ahead of time. He went back and looked for, I guess, one of his mentors and asked, as one of his mentors, you know, what should I do? And his mentor, who happened. Who just happened to know me as well, says, you need to tell Stephen. You need to tell him what's going on. And I'll never forget this. My wife and I had had our first date in probably three months, really, because we'd been building. Transform you full, full time, full scale. And we had just been. We were just leaving the movie theater, and then I get the phone call. And the team member proceeds to share with me everything that's on his heart. I didn't know really what to do, so I dropped my wife off at our house. I then got in the car. I then boogied across, basically across town about the same time as a monsoon hit. It was like something you could have had. No. Like, literally out of a movie. I'm making phone calls on the way, trying to figure out what's going on, because obviously, when the. When this team member called me, they gave me a lot of information. A lot of folks that have potentially been involved in this whole insurrection or treasonous act, or what do you want to call it? I mean, those are the words I use, because it's still very. It's still very. It's still a very, still, very raw wound from. For me. And, you know, it's been five months, and I've been trying to kind of get myself ready to even talk about it as a whole.

Yeah.

But I had to go. I went to the corporate office, and I basically shut down the emails and shut down the servers and shut down the, you know, locking, locking the doors in the building because I didn't know how far everything had gone at the Tentacles, if you will, to figure out what was going on. I popped online and found out that.

Basically that the company that they were trying to start had started roughly a week and a half earlier. So they were actually on CHEESE payroll for up almost a little over a week.

Wow.

While they were already contemplating starting their own business.

Jeez.

So that was, like, really kind of like. So it really wasn't like a happenstance, you know what I'm saying? I mean, any wise business owner, if you're. If you're confronted with someone, gonna try to come start a Competitive company, regardless of how long they've been with you. I mean, you, in theory, you would have a very respectful conversation. And in theory you'd be able to, should, you know, you'd be able to come to arrangement where, you know, we, we part ways, you go do what you got to do. But that just didn't happen.

Yeah.

And I don't know that it would happen. There's some other things that I won't share on the show that have occurred since then that are leading us to look in some, some pretty significant areas in the business for any kind of other alterations, if you will. But you know, the whole thing has been kind of tight. You know, the two gentlemen that specifically that appear to have spearheaded wanting to start their own company and there's no problem with starting your own company.

It's. It's more difficult when I've. For me, because I, it's. They tell you that a high D, for example, the worst fear is betrayal. Yeah, right.

And there's a lot of deception in there.

There has been a. From what I can tell from my perspective, based on all the emails and spreadsheets and workbooks and accounting programs and all that stuff rolled together, there's definitely been quite a bit of what I believe to be intentional deception.

Yeah. Yeah. It just seems like it all kind of was birthed from deception or was birthed from a place of deception, kept in secret, kept in hiding, closed door kind of thing. And I've heard you say time and time again that pride is always the father to deception.

Yep.

It's typically the thing that you say comes first before deception. Right.

Well, that's in the Bible. It says itself, it says all the time that pride comes just before the fall.

Yeah.

You know, Satan fell from heaven because he wanted to be like God.

He was very prideful, very prideful.

He felt like that he should, he should be worshiped because he was a, he was a being of light and God had created him in an immaculate radiance, if you will. And we're no different. You know, the hardest thing you'll ever have to do in your life is to die to self and pride and your own self esteem issues. I had to do the same thing. I still walk through. I'm just like, I'm just like everybody else out there. I have to walk through self esteem.

Issues every day to check ourselves.

Got to check ourselves.

Do it again today. You got to check yourself.

Yeah.

Check yourself before you wreck yourself. And that's, it's funny, it's a funny statement. But it is true, because if you don't take the time to actually check your own behavior, you will most likely most definitely wreck. You're definitely wreck. It's happened to me before. I've learned patience from you, and watching other great people should just slow down and be humble about it. So there was. There was very little humility coming from these gentlemen. There was some deception.

Yeah.

And I don't want to, but it led you down this path to kind of where you're at now. And I see you discerning things well differently.

I'm a trip. I'm attempting to discern. So the discernment is very. It's very important. Discernment causes a choice or a reaction to kind of take place.

Yeah.

And because everything has an equal and opposite reaction, you kind of need to think through some things.

So for me, when I first started hanging out with you and joined the Journey Principal team, I didn't know what the word discernment meant. Can you educate some folks that are just like me that maybe they don't know what discernment is?

In my opinion, discernment is nothing more than having the knowledge and the willpower and the responsibility of using it correctly.

Discernment is choosing a course of action before the course of action chooses you. It's that element of just pausing just for a minute. And we can all discern and think and contemplate at different speeds and different levels. A lot of the discernment techniques that I use outside of the. Some of the other things we'll talk about today are God given. In other words, they weren't present in my life until I experienced Christ with myself. Like, he showed up. He said he was going to do this. I had to completely humble myself and surrender. And that was my first humbling, if you will. I'm learning that along the lines of life. As you progress, you'll continue going on new levels of humbling on a regular basis, if you will.

Yeah. You never want to stop doing that.

Yeah. So discernment kind of started there, and then discernment shapes up the more you hang out and spend time with other people that are where you want to be in life in many ways, or have a way of kind of pausing, if you will, and kind of waiting to make a response. Stephen 10 years ago was very reactionary, very passionate. I mean, it was driven by passion, it was driven by principles. It was driven by an understanding, if you will. But what I struggled with was actually pausing to gain a little clarity and perspective. Hence the grow platform that we, that we threw out there earlier this year. Gain perspectives, number one.

Yeah.

You know, maturity comes from gaining perspective. And the first step in actually just learning to discern is actually learning to be mature.

Yeah. I heard a guy today, I was on base, I was. Had the privilege of talking to some Air Force airmen, all different ranks. There was a guy that, that said exactly, pretty much what you just said, that he uses patience and he pauses and he waits and he gathers information. And he pretty much laid out the grow framework, except in his own way. And I said, it works. I said, hey, I just gotta ask, if you don't mind me asking, how old are you? I said, because you just dropped a lot of wisdom on everybody in this room. He said, I'm 34. See, what you're 34 years old and you know how to do this. It's a big, big, big maturity step to do what you're talking about. Slow down long enough to gain perspective. But what, what does more perspective give you in this act of discernment or.

Really before you can discern anything, you have to learn how you're first deceived.

Yeah.

There are two levels of deception. There's the external deception and there's the internal deception.

Yeah.

There's the ways you fool yourself and the way. There's the ways others fool you.

Okay, let's talk about those. What's an internal decision?

You know, some of the internal ones. For example, pride. It's an internal deception. It's the belief that you are worth more than your circumstance, that you are worth more than your contribution.

Okay, okay, okay.

It is the.

It'S the thing that talks to you and says, well, you know, if. Or you should be, or things of that nature, rather than how can I serve? And pride never comes from a place of service. Pride always comes from a selfish place. Always.

Absolutely.

Another one's like an arrogance.

Okay.

Arrogance was something that I've, I've, I've had to work on my entire life that only recently, the last two or three years, as it really kind of really started to dial down as I've been working on me. And the reason I say that is because I've learned that arrogance is actually a cover up. So arrogance is a cover up for the fact that you don't really believe that you're really something.

Right. You kind of have to show.

Yes.

That whatever you do for a living or your hobbies, whatever it is. Yes.

Well, yeah. Because you always put yourself in a place where you always have to be more and do more for other people, like, I've got the nicest car, I've got the nicest house. What do you do for a living? As soon as somebody says, what do you do for a living? You have a choice in that moment to just answer the question or to answer the question and embellish it.

Yeah.

Right. If you're embellishing it, that's arrogance.

That's true.

Right.

And you'll find the folks really fast. You're probably thinking of people right now that do this.

Absolutely.

I grew up with people like that. And it was always the competition, the one upper. And you just don't like. Man, you still like spending time with people like that.

You don't. And here's the funny thing is when you're in. When you're. When you are that person, it's not obvious that you're doing it.

No.

You know, so that's. That's when some of those relationships can really come into play, that you can kind of make sure that they're holding you in check.

Yeah. I was going to ask, how can someone fix or repair or at least suppress their internal deception? Right. How do they get that out of the way?

Well, I think for the first two, the biggest thing you can do is you can learn to promote other people.

Yeah.

Learn to give the credit away.

Yeah.

Because the credit is irrelevant.

Yeah.

It's just irrelevant. I may have put together a massive thing for Journey principles or Che. Like I may have had mostly to do with it. Right. But if I recognize the 10% that somebody else did and I act like that 10% is a 90%, I'm gonna build relationships along the way and I'm gonna die to myself a little more. And when I'm saying dying to yourself, I'm not saying think less of yourself. I'm just saying hold your. Hold yourself accountable to a different level of standard, which is I'm going to figure out a way to serve and acknowledge other people before I acknowledge myself. In fact, if you feel the need to acknowledge yourself, then there's a problem.

Oh, yeah. Big problem.

Right. However, if you do this other thing well, where you're constantly recognizing other folks, you're constantly shifting towards their. Their benefit of kind of what they contributed, then what happens is, is you're going to find your plate, you're going to find your other. You're going to find it. That others are actually will promote you without you having to say a word.

Yeah. Yeah.

I'll give you a perfect example. One of our VP of operations right now at Che. I was in a meeting with one of our customers, and I was very proud to just say, talk about how awesome the guy did. And he just sat there and took it, like, Meaning he was just like. I think he didn't walk out of the room with his chest bowed. He just kind of. He walked out of. He walked out the room with a spirit of gratitude. That is a level of maturity that I hadn't seen a lot with. With. With others that have been at the executive level. A lot of times that. That. That promotion goes. Make you go, yeah, I am that way, aren't I?

Yeah.

You know, and that's just. That's that whole arrogance thing.

Yeah. It kind of creates arrogance. All right, let's talk about external deception.

Well, I gotta. I got a few more of the internal ones.

Okay.

Another one's fear.

All right.

So I've had to walk through an enormous amount of fear, everything from the first five minutes. But getting on. Getting on stage to transform you, which I was actually. I felt like I was prepared for it until the night before happened.

Yeah, yeah.

Right. And then there's the. What. How's this going to work out? How's this going to affect things? And this is where that faith thing comes into play.

Yeah.

I have had such a hard time right now walking out specific areas of faith and trust right now. Now it's. It's. It's beginning to take shape. I can feel it take a shape, like, literally over, like the last week and a half. Really kind of like, okay, so this doesn't work out, but this just took its place. And that's happened several times in the last five months in regards to Che and things like nature. So it's like, okay, change. Change has to happen from time to time. Right. So fear is a huge internal one. Another one, shame, guilt, both of those are very, very powerful internal deceivers.

Yes. They can be savagery.

I mean, here's the deal. If there's enough guilt and shame in your life, you will stop yourself from doing amazing, amazing things. And you're probably called by God himself to do only because you're not willing to let the delete. Grace and mercy actually kind of drip over your life.

Yeah.

You know, so those are a couple of the. Couple more of the internal deceptions to kind of be careful of and watch out for.

Yeah.

You know, and we'll get into discernment a little bit. How to kind of fight that stuff off a little bit.

Yeah.

But that's kind of the nuts and bolts.

That's A lot for someone just to battle that internally.

Right.

They've got a lot going on.

If.

If they can get over the internal stuff, I feel like they're more prepared for external. Is that true? Can they fight off external if they're already kind of champions over internal?

Yeah, you know, to a degree. If you're. If you're already stable enough in your personality.

Yeah, that's kind of what I'm going at.

Yeah. Meaning you're not. You're not over overestimating yourself or underestimating yourself. You're in a place of contentment.

Okay.

Contentment is a good, healthy place for ego. Like a healthy ego, which is. Which is not edging God out. That's just allowing God to work kind of deal. You can definitely take more on. More can come at you. And case in point, had this happen to me a year, two years ago, I'm not sure I would have handled it as well.

Yeah.

To be honest, I'm not sure that I would have been prepared. It was only through God really working. Working on me, on my insides, which he's been teaching me this entire time while we've been building Journey Principles.

Yeah.

You know, because if Journey Principles is really about other people, people are real. They're gonna pick it up. On it.

Yeah.

You know, they're gonna see if you're showboating or not. You know, so when you start looking at that whole thing, you start to realize that it's truly better to serve anything else.

Absolutely. Okay, so moving from internal to external, what are some things for folks to watch out for?

External, a lot of times are the. The biggest one, I think is gossip.

Gossip creates more lies and deception than.

Anything else it does. It's like a little.

And it. And it breathes and it breeds and it breathes and it breeds and it breeds. Gossip can be inside your own head. Gossip can be in your relationships. But both of those are incredibly detrimental to any kind of real level of really, truly discerning. Because what happens is when gossip's prevalent, it creates a cloud through which you can't really discern.

Yeah. It does kind of make things muddy. Right. You don't know what's true, what's facts, what's fiction. After a while, you just can't. You don't even know which direction to turn. If there's so much that's allowed to go on.

That's right. You know, blame. Placing the blame.

Yeah.

Lying, obviously.

Yeah.

Being intentionally deceitful. I find that anything that you feel like you have to say in the dark, it's probably deceptive in nature.

I like that. I like that. Anything you need to say in the.

Dark or in private, it's probably a deceptive nature. Now there's a difference of saying something to an executive team in the business world, for example, or to your wife that is part of that relationship.

Yeah.

And then saying out, saying things outside of that, that can whittle off in other places. Right?

Yeah. And it kind of creates doubt. Right. It kind of creates some fear.

Yep.

So what, I guess what I'm drawing the connection to is some of these external that you're talking about can actually create the internal conception. So if you don't have a master over the internal to defeat that, it's almost like external is pouring into the internal or you need a strong internal.

Self control where you can push that back out. Or what else, what else are some, some external things that people really need to be cautious of.

He need to be cautious of who your close relationships are. People need to earn their position closer.

Yeah.

So if you think about a target, target symbol. Okay. That middle ring, that's that first circle.

Yeah.

That first circle is your close people. Okay. The next ring are people that you're associate with, you're gonna spend time with a lot of times that second circle is your co workers and things of that nature. Right. Outside of that there's another ring which are people. Acquaintances.

Yeah.

Outside of that, those are people who are flat out unsafe. And the further you go out, the more important that is.

Yeah.

So when you look at your relationships as a whole.

I can actually have someone start out in the center. But if they betray or do something to dishonest inside of my relationship out of selfish gain or anything, they automatically go out rings.

Yeah.

You know, so in this case, I had, I had people that were very tight knit to me, people that I believed in heavily, that I would have, you know, that I bragged about on a regular basis and all kinds of stuff. You guys have heard me do it on air, right? Well, they made their decisions, now they're pushed out to two or three rings. Right, Right. Where there is no, there is no, there is no relationship.

Yeah. Because you're in control of these rings and you're in control of where the people are. Right. But based on their decisions and actions towards you as the individual, you can place them wherever they, they fit best.

Yeah. I mean there are things you can measure in the external world. You can measure theft, you can measure betrayal.

Yeah.

You can measure.

Relationships. Right. Those are things that you can actually physically measure on a regular basis to ensure that you are actually going to get the best possible circumstance, which is really what we're talking about. We're trying to. We're trying to create an environment in which you can actually discern. Yes.

Yes.

Right. Yeah, That's. That's what we're after.

Right.

And if you have all these other things pulling at you, and I've been fighting this now for several things, because there's rumors over here, there's rumors over there. There's rumors over here. Nine times out of ten, the rumors are false.

Rumors are never short.

Well, rumors. Rumors are nothing more than gossip. As if somebody started it somewhere. Somebody feels the need to start it.

Yeah.

Right. So the deception actually occurred by the person that started it to begin with. Right, right. So all of those things kind of really wrap up. But what we're talking about is creating an environment to discern.

Yeah.

So one of the things I do myself to try to create a better environment to discern is I'll actually. I'll use my truck or prayer closet, something like that. I'll turn on some. Some light piano music, and I'll just kind of sit still. This is something I've been doing now for a few weeks now.

There's that pause and be still kind of.

It's the pause and be still. It's the. It's the asking. I mean, I'm constantly asking God, what is the truth?

Right.

What is the truth? Yeah, I know you're the dw. The truth and the life. I know that.

Right, right.

But in this circumstance, Lord, what is the truth? What do you. What do you want me to learn?

How do I navigate all these negatives and gossip things that are going on? Yeah. That's exhausting. If you're trying to paddle through that stream by yourself.

It is. And that's why those. It's important to actually have some. Those key relationships.

Yeah.

There's been a handful of people I bounce some stuff off of. I actually talked to my wife quite a bit.

Yeah.

I know she's in it with me, but for lack of a better word, she's.

How do I say this on air? She has this rumor, she's. I'll cut them kind of thing. Not. Not literally, but, you know, she's. She's very protective over us and our. In our family and our relationship, which is. I don't have a problem with, but it's just kind of. Sorry. I had a little flashback memory there. Popped in there. Sorry.

So how can someone learn to discern. Right. We're talking about. We want the folks to find the environment so they can discern. How do they learn how to get there?

Well, again, create an environment where you can actually set it, because if it. The more important it is, the more time you have to take to use it, to consider it.

Safe place.

Safe place. Find a safe place. Find a quiet place. Shut your phone off, shut your computer off. The world is not going to fall apart in 30 minutes.

Yeah, no, for sure.

Right. You're. So I'm going to blow up your phone, all that kind of stuff. That's all well and good. You can call them back in 30 minutes.

Yeah.

Take 30 minutes to yourself.

Yeah.

Especially if you're in a season like I am right now, where you're trying to walk through some pretty strenuous waters.

Yeah.

Okay. So the more time. So you need to create a time. Right. Put yourself in a safe environment. The next thing is actually use quality questions. So a guy by the name of Tom Patterson, we've talked about him before on the show.

Had a book that he. I want to say it's living your best life. Now I have to have to Google it and put out the information. But a good buddy of mine, Chris Lacroto, told me a long time ago, I went through a process that he had. I forgot what I think he called it life plan, but I can't remember the exact name of it. And I learned four specific questions that really kind of help resonate going through unclear areas. When you're seeking perspective, you're seeking clarity, you're seeking what to do, who to talk to about it. These. These questions do a lot of good in helping shape that. So get the environment. Get a yellow pad and a pen. Draw four boxes or four quadrants. I know that we like. Our diagrams typically are circles because we like circles because they're eternity. They go in a circle. Yeah, right. And then write these four questions in there. Yeah, right. And then take your time, sit in the quiet and just answer the questions.

So you're talking about a safe environment where you're away from all the gossip, you're away from all of the rumors and naysayers, and you can kind of just quiet all of that noise. Then get into your own place and answer these questions. I assume you're about to give us these questions.

Well, yeah, I mean, I guess we have some time.

Okay. Because the folks are probably like, all right, what are the questions? And then basically you're talking about what most folks which are. Would like to get to.

What if. What if they're always around the people that are causing them the trife. They're causing them the problems. How can they get away from that again?

Remember, we just. We just find a safe environment.

Yeah. I'm trying to think for their sake, you know, how do they get to that. How do they get to a place where they know that's okay?

Well, they know it's okay. I'm telling you, it's okay.

It's always okay to work on you. It's always okay to pursue perspective. It's always okay to pursue understanding, and.

That'S what kind of is getting.

Yeah, it's always okay to pursue wisdom.

Yeah.

I mean, the Bible says, seek wisdom with all your heart and you'll find it. Seek me with all your heart, you'll find it.

Yeah.

The Bible, the word. They use the word seek several places, and it's always those who seek, find. If you're not seeking, you're not going to find anything.

Yeah.

Right. So again, that's where these questions come into play, is to make sure that you have a. A process to allow you to seek.

Yep. Okay, so what are the questions that they should write down on this pen and paper?

Yeah, the first one is what's right.

Okay.

You know, we've kind of covered some of these before, but they're just pivotal in learning to discern what's right. What is. What is going on right now with this particular situation, this relationship, this.

This season. That's right. So I'll give you an example. So obviously we've talked a lot about what the craziness of the season it is. And if they want to go watch the other video, they can, of course, get a lot more details.

Yeah.

What's right for me right now, I am. What's right is I've been able to watch people that have been suppressed shine.

Okay.

Okay. These are people that have been working with Che for a while who had been held back, not really necessarily intentionally, but hadn't been really. Their skill set hadn't really, really been fully utilized. Okay, well, now they are.

Good, good.

So now they're walking in that. So they feel better.

Good.

They are. They're working better for the business. Therefore, the business is growing.

Okay. So, you know, that's a right. That's a very.

That's a very. This is. So this is. Right. The other thing is, is we're getting really hardcore on our cost again.

Okay?

Right. That's right. The entire company's focus on drilling down on cost. That's Right. We're focused heavily on culture. Culture, culture. Not culture. Culture. We're focused. Value. Very. We're focused a lot on culture.

Okay.

Okay. That's right. The whole team's like, okay, do we want toxic behavior in our community, in our. In our environment? No. All right, what do we do to any. Change it. Right. So we're going through another thing. That's right. Is we're going through this process of identifying what's needed. You see what I'm saying?

Yeah. Good stuff.

What's confusing would be the next question.

Okay.

What is driving confusion in your life? Or in this instance, this relationship, the situation, this. What are you seeking clarity on? You know, confusion a lot of time creates fear. Fear creates stagnation because you don't want to take a step forward.

A lot of times it does. And the only thing to cure that is. You said it was clarity, options. Another way to help me answer is that what needs more clarity? And then. Okay, this is what's confusing right now. I just need more clarity here, here, and here.

And there's something about writing it down. When you write it down, it becomes less scary.

You commit to it.

Well, you commit to it. You're also not recycling the stuff over your head.

Yeah. You kind of get it out of that world's fast, fastest ping pong. Okay, so what are the other ones?

What's missing is the next question. So each of these questions has. Has a terminology that kind of goes with it. So what's right is something you amplify. What's confusing is something you're going to clarify.

Okay.

What's missing is something you're searching for.

Okay.

All right. So you're searching for something.

Yeah.

What's missing right now in my. In my life right now is a certain level of balancing responsibilities.

Okay.

Because both teams, for example, for both businesses, need my. Need my attention. They need my effort. They need part of me in my. My diagnosed DNA and what they're doing.

Yeah. Yeah.

Okay. However, right now, that's very unclear. Like, I'm having a hard time finding the right balance to make sure everything's becoming successful, everything's doing like it's supposed to be doing, and it's a tightrope. Why? Because CH needs a lot of my time right now.

Yeah. Right.

So.

Okay. And there's one more. What's.

The final one is what's wrong?

What's wrong? Okay.

A lot of us spend all of our time inside of what's wrong.

Yeah, it's.

This sucks. This is bad. I don't have this.

I was going to ask, you know, if someone's coming from a dark place or they're just kind of frustrated, I would think that they would probably have more, and this is me kind of speculating, they would probably have more in the what's missing? And now you say what's wrong? Than they would have in the what's right. Is it okay for them to have that? I don't want to free them, so it's okay.

It's okay for them to have it. But once they get done writing what's wrong, I'd like for them to look at that list in what's wrong category and see if there's another place to put it.

Okay.

A lot of time, the stuff that goes in what's wrong is not really wrong. It's typically missing or confused.

Yeah.

See what I'm saying?

That way it doesn't freak them out, and they think that, oh, no, everything's just, the sky's falling.

Yeah. So, like, what's wrong in my life right now, for example, is trying to find the right amount of balance for the right amount of time for the right amount of impact.

Yeah.

Okay. Family included.

Yeah.

Okay. So what that really means is it's not really wrong. Something's missing.

Something's missing there.

Yeah, right. There's. There's a. There's an element of structure that's missing. There's an element of security that's missing. Does that make sense?

Absolutely. Absolutely. These are good. So, folks, if you want to get these quadrants of discernment or questions of discernment, you've probably heard us talk about it a lot. All right. Stephen has mentioned them a lot because they work. He's used them over and over again. He's having to use them right now. You can simply text JPRADIO to 33444. That's JPRADIO to 33444. And we'll send them to you. So laminate those jokers, write on them, put them on your fridge, whatever. It's one of those very simple things, but it works over and over again, you know, so again, this.

And it's proven. It's proven record. My good friend Chris Lakurta uses these questions and some of his stuff that he does. And then Tom Patterson, the original creator of the life plan, is someone else that obviously created these questions a little long while ago.

And I like it because it takes you from being emotional and puts you in a place of factual where you have to be honest with yourself, really. Especially if you're out there by yourself and you try to figure stuff out, like, oh, my gosh, what's going on with my life? How do I get. How did I get here? How do I get out of here?

Yeah.

It makes you step away from the emotion, which can cloud a lot of things, put you in a very factual place. So.

What'S another thing you might want to tell someone that's seeking out discernment?

Well, it's all done. It's all done in steps. Right. You got to find a safe environment.

Yep.

You got to ask great questions.

One, safe environment. Step two. Great questions.

Yep. And the next one is learning to use fault.

Use fault. Okay. False Fault. Fault. F, A, U, L, T. Okay. It's an acronym.

Right? It's an acronym.

Got it, Got it.

Yeah. Not. Not. You should go out and place fault on yourself or other people.

No.

But because fault is so often pulled into discerning or deception.

Yeah.

I thought it might be kind of cool to walk through a couple steps that fault illustrates.

Yeah.

Yeah. I'll give you a word choice because they're.

So while you're trying to discern what's right, what's wrong, fault kind of wants to find its way to land somewhere.

Yeah. Well, the other thing is, too, is it, again, you're moving from this emotional place.

Yeah.

To this more logical, contemplative place. Right. Which is really where the answers come for.

Yeah.

Come from. Emote. When you're in the emotional zone, you're normally too blinded.

Yes.

To see the answers that are right before you. A lot of times. Okay. I. Even now I've been getting coaching to a certain degree by key people in my life that I ask questions to. And a lot of times we spend the first 30 minutes them getting me out of my funk.

Yeah.

Woe is me.

Yeah.

Woe is me.

Right, Right.

And. But that's. But then that's the nature of going through human. Yeah. Because I'm not perfect.

Everyone's human. We all start emotionally. Some of us get out of the emotions faster than others, and some of us just take a little bit longer to get.

That's right. So I think. And I think fault. I think it's really, really super important. This is the vet. This is the one thing that I. That had helped prepare me moving forward, and that is forgiveness.

Okay.

The fault stands for forgiveness.

Why do you start there?

Because I've learned that if you. If you don't start there, you'll take whatever emotional turmoil, anger, bitterness, and that stuff that you'll take it into everything else. You'll take it into that process discerning. You'll take it into that process of trying to make quality actions and choices. And when you start over here, it's. It's poison.

Yep.

Right. Would you. You're not going to drink poisonous water if you know poisons there, so why not start the water off without actually having poison in it?

Get it out.

Yeah, exactly. So, okay. A lot of times, like in this particular season, I've been praying a lot for those that in my opinion have betrayed some at various levels of trust within me.

Right.

Why? Because I didn't want to make decisions in the marketplace solely because I wanted to get even or get revengeful. Because that's just nothing.

No, it definitely doesn't help. It might feel good for the short term. Right. But not the long term. Okay. So forgive the next one's.

Acknowledge. Right. So fa. Acknowledge your responsibility, your accountability. Okay. A lot of times when we do our, some of our breakout sessions at Transfer Meal Transfer Me Live, one of the things we do is we have them kind of dial into how much responsibility they had in any given situation. A lot of times we take on as part of that deception part, we take on more than we actually had the accountability or the responsibility of actually trying to solve.

Right.

I've tried to make decisions on things that I had nothing to do with.

Or no control over.

No control over.

That feels pretty heavy.

It does. Because you're trying to control something that shouldn't be controlled.

Yeah.

You can't control somebody else's emotions or attitudes, but you can control yours.

That's true.

You can't control somebody other somebody else's actions and choices, but you can control yours.

That's right.

So you start with where you are at.

That's the only thing you're really in control of is your own attitude and your actions.

Speaking of, you did a terrific job I heard today with the emotional intelligence with the U.S. air Force.

Yeah, it was a lot of fun. It's more picture related because I learned that we all learn in pictures.

That's right.

And I'm from Tennessee. Words are not our best thing we can do. Sorry if you're not true. Sorry if you're out there and you're from Tennessee. But we had a great time and we talked about that. That's always a point that I like to point out that your attitude and your actions are only in your control. And your attitude is like a big Mack truck with a two year old driving in. And your actions are the trailer that is pulling behind. Right. Your actions. Your actions are behind it, and your actions are always going to follow. And it gave me the opportunity to let people know that out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.

Ah. Straight out of the Bible.

Exactly. And it's. It's true. Because what we dwell on, what you're just talking about, if you don't forgive something, someone, a situation, you're dwelling on it. And you're right. You will take that into every step after that.

Yep. The funny, the Jesus once said, he said, it's not what goes into a mouth that makes him unclean, it's what comes out of it.

That's right. That's right. Unless. Unless you're Brian and you're both cases completely vegan. No meat. So he's like clean in and out inside, which means no sushi. No. Poor guy. Whatever. I'll take this sushi roll anyway.

All right.

So fa. Forgive.

Acknowledge.

All right. What's you.

You understand understanding. Always be seeking understanding. Understand your role, your responsibility. Understand your needs of yourself and the needs of others.

Yep.

It'd be very easy for me right now in this particular season to only make decisions based on my own and my family and my own personal needs.

However, if I did that, I would affect a lot of other families.

Yeah.

Okay. Because. Because of the responsibilities that are on my shoulders. So I need to be seeking understanding on a regular basis. As I'm learning to discern, I'm always looking for understanding. How is this going to affect this? How's this going to affect that? Not to the point where I'm freaking myself out, creating worry, but where I'm identifying certain roadblocks that might be in my way that might need to be.

Addressed, well, that brings us back to that attitude of servitude. Right. If you start with the attitude of servitude instead of the selfish pride.

Yeah.

Or the selfish. Just fear even, you know it again, it kind of proves your earlier point that it does lead you down the right path.

That's right. The next one. Listen.

Okay.

Oh, man, I have a hard time with that one.

Yeah. Listen.

Yeah. You'll know you're listening because you can actually repeat what somebody said to you.

Huh.

If you cannot do that, then you are not listening.

That's right. You are hearing, not listening for your turn to speak. This is another point we talked about today with the airmen. Intentionally listening, I think, is what you're talking about. So listening with intent to learn, gain clarity and perspective. And if you got nothing to say you ain't got nothing to say.

Well, you're also. You're also showing. You're also showing humility when you allow others to speak and when you allow them to really share and you can actually take on what. What has been said and literally take it back.

It goes a long way. I've experienced that. I've experienced that a lot. And it does go a long way. When I know you're listening or anyone else that's out there that were having a back and forth.

Yeah.

You can. You want to continue the conversation and you trust that it's going to go somewhere productive.

That's right. Final ones. Teach.

Teach. All right.

Yeah. So basically, take everything that you've learned as you're going through the season. You've found a safe place. You've asked quality questions. You've already walked the steps of forgiveness. You've already walked through the acceptance of acknowledgment. You've already walked through the steps of understanding. Right. You've already walked through the steps of what you've learned, what learning you need to use. When you've been through all those steps, now you're probably ready to actually teach based on what you have been learning through that entire process. That entire process is full of learning. Oh, yeah, that. Getting alone, getting that safe place, getting a yellow pad and a pen. Right. Going to the next step where you're actually asking quality questions. All you're doing is learning the entire time.

And why should they teach? I know the answer to this, but why would they want to teach? Because I think this is valuable. I think every time we pass a new milestone.

Yeah.

I think you call it a life gate. Every time we go through that, if we don't go out there and teach, we're missing an opportunity to have a rippling effect with other folks. But I want you to kind of.

Yeah. I mean, for me, the reason you teach is because it sticks.

You need.

Your learning needs to stick.

Yeah.

It doesn't need to be a Velcro. I mean, it literally is a part of who you're. Part of who you are.

So when it comes up again, you're ready.

So when it comes up again, you are ready. You're stronger, you're more prepared. They say new levels, new devils. Right. You've heard that before. New blessings. Right? Yeah. New things to watch out for. All right. So you need to be. And that's the only way you grow. So whether you get to take the test again, it's up to you.

Yeah.

But you Teach. Because when you teach, you learn. It sticks.

Yeah.

Not only you. Are you looking at it, you're hearing it now. You're looking at it, you're seeing it, you're speaking.

Becomes part of all five of your senses.

Yeah.

Right. And because it becomes all five of your senses, it now becomes tangible. Because it becomes tangible, it's now learned. Right.

Now you own it. That's right. It's applied in the real world out there. So let's go through the steps one more time. There's a lot of information, but let's go through the steps one more time, and then let's just kind of wrap it all with a nice, big, pretty bow. All right, so step one.

Step one. Find a great, safe place in which to begin to discern.

Alone or with. With someone else.

I recommend solitude, but not isolation. Okay. So solitude means I'm going to go for a set of period of time to go and reflect on this process to see what God will share with me.

Okay.

Okay. However, after that's all said and done, if you then want to have some. Another set period of time with one of your quality mentors or instructors or something like that, that by all means do that.

That's just what I'm thinking. I want to bounce it off of you kind of thing.

Am.

I think.

Okay, I'm doing that right now. I've reached out to one of my quality mentors, and hopefully they'll give me some time to. To share with them kind of what I'm going on. Because in this particular season of life, there are very few who have been through the particular season I've been through.

Yeah.

I have to find someone who's already been through that. That cost of the calling, if you will, to help me understand more about it.

Got it. Yeah. It's wise. Wise. Okay. Step two. Yep.

Step two. Ask quality questions.

Ask quality questions.

What's right? What's wrong, Confusing, Missing. The other thing is always be. As a side note, be looking for the opportunities and the threats that kind of come along with it.

Okay.

Okay. So opportunities and threats. What are things that could jeopardize this particular approach? What are things that could promote this particular approach? Yeah. What are things that can add to the legacy? Right.

Okay. So these are kind of like the little side outliners that could add some value to your situation.

In fact, we probably should actually put a little cheat sheet together and just give it to you guys. I know we got the four questions, but I just dawned on me. I got these other things that are popping up my head.

Yeah.

That's where to rewatch this video so we can get you something else.

That's pretty wise, though, to think about. Don't keep the blinders on and the face down. Watch for the opportunities that could be coming from left to right. Okay.

And when you're watching for those threats, you're looking for the areas in which you can be deceived.

Yeah.

How are you deceiving yourself? How is. How is somebody else possibly deceiving you?

Okay, so step three.

Step three is going to get into the fault method.

Yep.

Learn to forgive, or you apply forgiveness to the person, place, or thing that's already in that situation.

Yeah.

Okay. Acknowledge your responsibility and your accountability to that. You can also acknowledge responsibility, accountability that someone else has to it. But make sure you're doing that and not blaming.

No blame game. Yeah.

Right. No blaming.

Yep.

Okay. Because reality is we all have responsibility. Even the seas, the season I'm in, I have a level of accountability, responsibility. I may not have uncovered all the facets in which it. In which it took shape from my perspective, but I am learning. Right. So anyway.

Okay. So there's acknowledge, understand, listen and teach.

Yep.

Okay. What's. What's one other main thing that they can take away as the last little bit of the best way to discern and defeat deception?

For me, I'm always asking God for a much more focused.

Approach to hearing his voice.

Okay.

So prayer meditation, I think, are pivotal. You can follow a lot of strategies, you can do a lot of that stuff, and the strategies will help. These things will do a lot of the heavy lifting for you. Yeah, it really will.

Yeah.

But nothing, nothing supersedes the word of God. Nothing supersedes the word of prayer. Nothing supersedes him speaking into it.

Yeah.

Right.

Yeah.

I wanted, in fact, in this particular season, I want to know more than anything else what. What he wants me to do. Right. Including if it sits still, which is very, very hard for me to do.

Well, because you know it's the right way. You know it's truth.

Right.

And you can hang your hat on it, depend on it. Every day that ends.

Why that's right. Well, especially when you go through adversity. He says, come to me who are weak and weary and heavy laden, for I will give you rest.

Yeah.

Take my yoke upon you, for my burden is light. Because he's already taken the burden.

Yeah.

Now if you hold on to the burden and you're doing this whole tug of war thing with them, just going.

To go wore out.

Yeah. Exactly. It's exhausting, right? He's like, just let go. You're like, no, it's my thing. If you let go, I can give you something else.

Awesome. So I love how you package this all up into easy steps and you kind of wrapped it up with the biggest truth of all, and that's just simply leave it up to God. Leave it up to Jesus and let him. Let him take the wheel.

If you sense literally, Jesus, take the wheel. And I know that's Carrie Underwood song, but it is so, like, true.

Yeah, it is.

Because here's the deal. The harder you try to control everything, the more lack of control you're actually going to have. You're not going to. The harder you grasp onto that. That rope.

Yep.

The more it's going to burn your hands as it's being pulled away from you.

That's right. And that does not feel good. Does not feel good. I've had that before.

You had that in a spartan race this weekend, right? When you're climbing the ropes.

Yeah, yeah. Thankfully, we didn't have that slippery rope and we got.

Look at. Look at this, how solid this guy is.

Up and down it pretty good. So, folks, I know we're almost out of time now, but in case you didn't catch all that, check it out again. And also check out Stephen's 30 minute video that he recently posted on social media about the ins and outs and the details about the last five months. I think if you watch that and then you come back to this, you write down the steps, you write down the questions, you write down fault and what that stands for. That'll give you the battle plan to take on your own deception. Whether that's internal or external, you're being deceived somehow. Right. In some way. And if that's not enough, that. That's only a piece that's going to help you. We invite you to go to transformyouonline.com this lesson is in there. This information is in there. This is part of the intellectual pillar that Steven's put together. Right. So you got a lot of nuggets here, a lot of information. Thanks for showing up and.

Hey, it's my pleasure, man. I actually miss everybody. I hope you're back on more radio shows pretty soon. Yeah, I know we're. I know we're actively pursuing being live on some local radio stations and even possible syndication. So we'll see what happens.

Yeah, the future looks bright.

Definitely creative.

All right, folks, thank you so much for hanging out with us this week. We'll see you guys next week on the Journey Principles radio show. Have a fantastic week.

God bless you. See you.