Beliefs 101 | Journey Principles Podcast 020

Welcome to the Journey Principles where we show you how to go from stuck to unstoppable with life strategies that work. Now here's your host and creator of the Transform youm Framework, Stephen Scoggins.

Hey, guys. Welcome back to the Journey Principles. I'm so happy you're here. If this your first time checking us out, welcome. If you're part of the tribe and the community, you already know we love and care about you. If this is your first time here, you need to know we also take you from stuck to unstoppable with life mastery principles made simple and made easy for you to follow. Our goal is to make sure that you know what to do, when to do it, and how to amplify and level up your life. So with that, I'm going to introduce my buddy, Connor Kraft, director of connections for. Some of you guys know him. He still has the best looking GQ face on the market here.

So what's going on, dude? How you doing?

I'm doing good.

Yeah. So what's new in life?

Oh, Lord.

Anything you want to share on there yet? No. Oh, come on. I know something you don't know.

His face is turning bright red.

That's not calm, cool and collective.

Oh, I love it. I love it. Hey, look, I'm, you know, your face is getting red. I'm having a blast. This is fun for me. I love the show. So we're going to be talking about beliefs again today, right? We hit beliefs really hard last week as far as giving personal examples of ways in which we've had to overcome it. We talked about the Gandhi principle or the Gandhi process, where you take a belief and work backwards to figure out where it come actually the outcome and work backwards to figure out where the belief came from so you can identify, replace it and kind of get moving forward. So we talked about that last time. One of the things that came up not long ago that you mentioned to me is a piece of cornerstone content that we have. Cornerstone meaning it's an important piece of content that we created that we feel like it's part of who we are as a company, as a DNA of how we help people.

It's a core lesson that we teach.

Core lesson which is called the four stages of beliefs. The reason that we didn't start off with the four stages of beliefs is because we wanted to make sure that people understood how detrimental a negative belief can be to your life. We talked about the last thing last time with a kid on YouTube telling his mom it's poop when she's trying to feed him a sloppy joe and he's literally about to lose it, crying because he thinks his mom is trying to force him to eat poop.

You know, it doesn't matter that it's really a sloppy joe. All that matters is what he believes.

Exactly. You know, in the same kind of concept, beliefs have the power to make you sick, make you healthy, ironically, make you poor, make you wealthy. So beliefs are that powerful. And we want to make sure we hit that pretty hard again today by using the other. The other ways of. In which we approach this.

So I actually really like this lesson. I like all the structured ones.

I like the non structured ones. So go figure. You guys get the best of both worlds. There you go. So. So what do you like most about this lesson without giving it away?

Oh, that's hard to do. I like that you broke beliefs into four different stages.

Yeah, well, so one of my things that I feel like it's been a gift for me is taking a concept or an idea and then being able to break it down backwards. Now, a lot of that actually helps when you and Evan, Brian, Renee, any of the rest of the team that's been involved, Michael, anybody else, has been part of our team for a little while.

Ask me more questions to help me further break it down. Okay. It wasn't that long ago where I realized that just like life, beliefs have a life cycle. Okay. Just like being in the hospital, if you don't have the proper medication or the proper treatment, you continually get worse or bare minimum, stay the same. Okay? So there's a life cycle to health. Yeah, there's a life cycle to actually becoming more than you ever thought possible. There's a life cycle into going from stuck to unstoppable. There's a lot. Exactly. There's a process. And when I went back and began working on my own life, and I began using the Gandhi principle that we talked about last time, where we kind of worked backwards, I uncovered something interesting and that on my way out, I followed a process and that process became the four stages of beliefs. Okay. The reason I think it's so important for us to even talk about it today, specifically, is because it will tell you where you're at in the process.

The other thing I like about it is that it'll actually give you actionable information on what you can do. If you have some negative beliefs, if you want to transform them into more positive beliefs that serve you, this podcast is going to give you a blueprint for exactly how to do that.

And when you go to change belief, it's not one and done, meaning you don't go to attack at one time. Not saying that the process that I told you before doesn't work, because it does. But when you go to rip up the root for the first time out of a belief, your first instinct is going to be, maybe I just leave that. Maybe I want you to leave it alone.

Why is that?

Because of comfort zones.

I was going to say comfort is comfort. Right?

Yeah. It's uncomfortable to move out and. And it's more comfortable to suffer, which is crazy.

We talked a little bit discomfort on either the last podcast or a couple podcasts ago. And I think it's such an important concept, obviously, because I just recently learned about it, because for so long I stayed stuck because I wasn't willing to put in the uncomfortable work.

I would start the process of forming a new habit that would serve me, and I would get really uncomfortable because I'm not used to it. And I would retreat, and I would retreat back to the safe zone, which essentially was the way I was living my life before, which kept me stuck. I'm actually listening to an audiobook right now by our friend Rory Vaden. Take the stairs. Such a great book. This is one of the best books ever read.

New York. Genuine bestseller.

Genuinely one of the best books I've ever read.

I'll tell him you said that. Actually, you can tell him tomorrow. He's gonna be on the. I'm doing a keynote thing with him.

Oh, that's awesome. Yeah, for sure. I love his book.

I'm not presenting with Rory. I'm actually going to one of his programs. Keynote craft. I. I believe in what Roy's doing, and he's doing some great work.

Really smart guy. Especially in the marketing world.

Dude, he's so young. Him and his wife both beautiful family. Anyway, moving on.

It's interesting you are kind of bringing that up. I've learned a long time ago that in order to break through your. In order to get breakthrough in your life, you got to get breakthrough in your beliefs.

It doesn't come reversed. There's only one way to do it. Okay. This life cycle, this four stages of beliefs, a life cycle that will. You're able to figure out where you're at in the process, which means you can have courage and confidence to know where you're headed. Okay, so let's talk about the first one. So let's talk about the first limb, or the first belief system, if you will. I call it the foundational belief or the Existing belief. Okay. The reason I call it that is because when you go back and you follow the Gandhi principle that we talked about last time, typically when you go backwards, you learn that that belief was anchored in your life very, very early on. That is programmed. Okay.

So if you don't believe that you're smart enough to be successful or to achieve something, then that's likely something that in your development.

Particularly early on. So maybe when you were in early grade school, you were told always that you were not as smart as the other students or something like that.

Yep. And there. There have. I mean, there are very, very successful people that are very, very intelligent. I was actually watching a documentary last night on Ronda Rousey.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah. Street Fighter. Yeah. On Netflix. Come to find out she couldn't actually speak words until she was six. And teachers also told her that she was gonna struggle.

Thankfully, she can beat people's faces in.

Dude. Yeah, they were joking around with her last night. It's like.

But no, she's. She's actually a very intelligent woman.

She's incredibly intelligent. Very talented, for sure. But it was just very interesting to hear that because I've heard that before where teachers, Right. These are people who are supposed to be mentors to raise people up, because some students don't progress as quickly as other students because teachers are never trained in personality styles or values assessments or any of that stuff. Hence, maybe we should do that in school.

I was told the same thing, Right?

I was told the same thing early on. Okay. I wasn't just told that by my teachers. I was also told that by close family members and parental figures.

I actually had weirdly conflicting information. I had people telling me, you're smart, but you. This is a perfect one for me. I was always told, you're smart, but you don't do the work.

Yeah.

It's interesting how my biggest problem in life has been not doing the work. Very interesting.

Gotta do the work.

I'm a core belief that I was told from a young age. And it was cause I was ADHD kid in school, very entrepreneurial, very. Not really good at actually, like focus and stuff like that. So I was bouncing off the walls and my teachers were just like, dude.

Will you just focus?

Will you please just go through the steps?

Like, I'm so bored. Give me something. Ch.

Exactly. So it was like that belief, I think, stuck with me. And I thought, oh, I'm someone who gets by without doing the work. Well, you can't actually do that beyond a certain point. Once you get to a Certain point in life, you have to step up.

I learned that getting past the next grade just because teachers don't like you. Right.

So in this season of Life, it has been all about me transforming myself and developing that work ethic.

How's that working out for you?

I've made a lot of progress.

Because you're doing what I'm doing.

The push ups.

That's right. Do the push ups.

Can't wait till our shirt comes out.

Yeah. Well, I've got several designs. Yeah, man. And that all came from you? Yeah. Some of our best ideas have actually come from you. So that tells you how brilliant you actually are. Foundational beliefs. Again, think programmed. Okay. Existing belief. Foundational belief. I've used the words interchangeably in the past, but is essentially. That is the. It's the starting point of where that belief was formed.

Okay.

Okay. A limiting belief, which is the next one, which I'm sure people have heard that word many, many times.

Everyone talks about it.

Okay. Is the amplification of the foundational belief. Okay. So consider this. A teacher says, you're not smart enough. You're not like other students. Okay. The next year, you do it again. Different teacher, similar thing. Friendships says the same thing.

Okay.

Eventually, when you hear things enough times that is programmed, you begin to believe it.

A limiting belief then transfers from a foundational, outspoken word or something that someone programmed in you. Meaning. And I really believe this is my personal belief. Some psychologists may disagree, but every time I've done the research, I've gone backwards with people. When I go to do the Gandhi principle, and I work with folks every stinking time that I can find where that belief was anchored at every stinking time. And it's always in a development in the developmental process.

It's crazy. I literally just had that epiphany guys on this podcast. Like, I hadn't really thought about that before, but it makes perfect sense.

Yeah. So if you take that concept. Okay. A limiting belief then becomes a external force that becomes an internal force that you tell yourself, therefore being amplified.

I see. So it goes. A limiting belief is when you go from being told that you're not enough to actually telling yourself, I'm not enough.

Exactly. I see. So basically, we do in Transform youm Live when we do the live event. And unfortunately, due to the COVID we're not gonna do it this year. We'll bring it back next year, I promise.

We do an exercise where we really work really hard on limiting beliefs. Now. We'll come at it from lies and a truth's perspective. So we have everybody kind of work through. We have a. We have a process in which we work through you uncovering your life lies, essentially, the lies that you believe about yourself. And then we break it down further. Is this something that you told like you told yourself, or is there something that someone else told you that you chose to believe is the reason.

Why do you separate those?

The reason you separate them is because you're going to treat them much like a doctor would treat you in a hospital. Differently.

I see. So one of them is going to be a foundational level. The other one's a limiting belief based.

On treat them differently.

I see.

Yep. Now, that's part of the reason why the process is so successful and why we've been so successful helping people. I mean, when you. You were at the last Transform you live event. Dude, we.

Dude, that event's awesome. Crying and weeping and obviously I'm biased.

Yeah.

Because now I'm helping put them on.

Yeah. But you wouldn't be sitting in this chair right now if you hadn't experienced what you experienced.

Of course.

You'd be like everybody else. Like, I went to a Tony Robbins event.

Oh. It's what's called. You do great events.

By the way. I just.

And I love Tony. I've actually, I've listened to a lot of Tony's stuff, and it's given me, you know, a lot of the foundational knowledge that I bring to the table here about these things is things that I've heard from Tony Robbins and, you know, Zig Ziglar and a number of the other, you know, success influencers and personal development guys. So I think. I think that there's a lot of different people who are talking about the same things. And it can. It's sometimes just due to the nature of, you know, humankind, there's going to be some conflicting ideas.

Well, not even so I think the. I think a lot of the ideas, more times than not, don't really conflict. They're just different ways to say similar things.

But they can confuse people.

They can totally confuse people, especially that are watching a lot of different influencers, which I did.

Yeah. I learned that the hard way.

The one thing that I. In Tony's favor, when you go to do a live event for thousands of people, it's really difficult to give them actionable breakdown assignments for them to work on things because everybody's coming at a different level.

Are awesome for inspiration.

Oh, yeah, yeah, totally.

They're the best.

I mean, they're. They're. I Would call them Catalyst events.

And the information they teach there is very good. It's just, it's just a question of, you know, it's very hard to serve thousands of people at one time. And that's why I'm sure Tony offers different services that you know, are maybe more geared to what they want, you.

Know, for who we're trying to serve and we want to, we even our live events, we make sure that there's. It's a very tight group of people. We only limit, we limit the amount of seats so we actually have time to work with people one on one.

Exactly. It's just a choice we make. We want to individually work with you one. Yeah, exactly. High touch one to one. We want to actually be able to reach out, shake your hand and help you with your individual problems. And it's difficult to do that in an arena filled with like I said.

We do that and every. And that's, that's in our DNA. That's who we are as a company, as a group, as a people, as a. As a service organization is everything that we do is about helping you become successful.

And it's interesting because I think a lot of people have even made comparisons of what we do to some Tony stuff and some of another influencers. A lot of people wonder like why are we different or how are we different?

Yeah, I think, I think the value differentiators. We know a good buddy of mine, John says actionable intel. We give you actions to take to. Actually we actually have a process like I mentioned earlier with the life lies. There's a process that we go through to help you identify them because most people don't even know that stuff's there.

We try to make it really practical, easy, step by step. I mean it's not going to actually be easy to implement. Just like anything changing your life requires work. However, we're going to try to make the information as clear as possible.

Oh, if you can do the push ups, you'll be fine.

Yeah, yeah. Which if you don't have good beliefs, going to struggle to do the push ups. Just like I did for a very long time until I finally started.

You know, here's like. So when you, when you, when you think about limiting beliefs. Here's some things. I jotted these down before we hopped on air that I, that I've seen or heard a lot.

They.

In other words, they meaning someone else spoke over you or you say I am stupid. Well, that creates a sense of judgment that tends to create future conflict.

Okay.

They meaning someone Told you that you're unlovable, or you've said to yourself, I'm unlovable. That creates a feeling of self, judgment, worthiness.

Another one might be they are such an idiot or I feel like such an idiot. Okay. That same negative or limiting belief can create anger, resentment, disappointment on a regular basis.

So I'm a little confused here. So you're saying they or I. What do you mean by they?

All right, so that's where my best effort. And try to separate the two. Remember I told you life lies are either internal or external.

I see. So it's either.

Either you could be saying they, meaning that person, that other person.

Oh, so you can perform limiting beliefs about other people.

Oh, you can perform. You can definitely come up with your own beliefs about other people. Right. But if you are telling them these things on a regular basis, you are in error because you are instinctively, accidentally.

Probably programming them with the foundational belief that will become a limiting belief.

Exactly.

I see.

Okay. Right.

Yeah.

And that's not something you want to do. That's not something you wanted to get to the end of your life and have done.

You don't want to be the type of person who's causing all of these problems.

Now, I will tell you that if your limgton beliefs are leading your life, then your insecurity is very low. You're insecure, you're a lot of insecurities. And as a result, when you get around other people, there's a good chance and you don't even mean to do this, and when you realize you do it, you get mad at yourself for doing it, that you'll put down other people to raise yourself up.

Yeah.

And that's where some of the most.

Bullies have been bullied.

Almost every last one of them have been bullied. So like you said that I've got that in some of the show notes, you know, but when you start breaking this stuff down, that's. Those are some of the things that come with some of these things. I hate my body or can you believe how they look? Unhappiness and shame. Right. If you wake up each morning, you're like, I just hate the way I feel. I hate the way I look. You are literally creating the element or the feeling of shame, which is not something you were meant to carry. It's not something you were created to carry. I shouldn't have done that. I think we've all been there. Oh, yeah. Okay. Well, if you get to the place where I shouldn't have done that and it created a negative outcome. Gandhi principle backwards keeps you from doing it again.

So I'm sure it's okay to look at a mistake you made and be.

Like, okay, yeah, absolutely.

Learn the problems when you dwell on it.

Exactly, exactly. So hopefully that gives you an idea of where a limiting belief stands. A limiting belief is nothing more than a negative belief that you are consistently telling about yourself or believing about yourself that someone else is telling you about. Okay, That's a limiting belief 101.

Okay, so again, I'm stupid. I'm not lovable. I'm an idiot. Exactly. I hate my body or how I look. I shouldn't have done that. These are examples. I'm not smart enough. Examples of limiting or foundational beliefs.

Exactly. The next thing. So I want to try to use these terminologies as computer language because I think it's the easiest way for acknowledge, for analogies. Foundational belief is original program. Limiting belief is the program with viruses.

A bridge belief is the Norton antivirus.

So that's. The third type is a bridge.

The third type is a bridge belief. A bridge belief is when you begin to overwrite the program. So when I mentioned the Gandhi principle on the last podcast and talked about that process, that is a process that builds the bridge belief, okay? That's when the negative belief comes in.

It happens all the time. It's the little voice inside the head that says, hey, look, you're not doing xyz. You're not this. And it happens all the stinking time. Some people are like, well, what's he talking about? It's the voice that just said, what's he talking about? Okay, do you see what I'm saying? It's constantly there. It's conscience to a certain degree, subconscious consciousness, right? Okay.

Limiting beliefs are driven by subconscious. A bridge belief is where you're beginning to take a subconscious thought and start to bring towards the conscious nature, taking ownership of it.

Okay, so how do you do that?

So I use a process called the challenge thought. So it takes work to get started, then it becomes automatic. Then you don't have to fight it. Okay, like when you first start to do it, I will tell you you've got to fight it. And it's a little bit uncomfortable like you mentioned before, but it has great results. Okay, so let's say I have been telling myself for the last two decades that I'm unlovable because all my relationship, all my evidence has shown me that all my relationships fall apart. Right?

Okay.

A bridge belief is when that thought comes in your Head, you are going to challenge it immediately with the opposite perspective.

Okay?

So if a belief is I'm unlovable, the challenge to it is I'm lovable and have high value.

Okay.

People who are walking around on a regular basis with a strong limiting belief set, meaning there's several limiting beliefs lay on top of each other, which typically happens. I'm unlovable. I'm not worthy. You see what I'm saying? They can layer on top of each other.

Would it be a smart idea? For some reason, my gut says no. But would it be a smart idea to ask yourself why you think you believe this?

Well, that's part of the Gandhi principle. Okay.

The reason I said maybe no is because I understand that specifically the power of questions in your mind. Even if there's no evidence there, if you ask your mind a question like why am I unlovable? It will come up with answers.

That's right.

So that's why I'm saying you have to be careful with that when you do that. However, if you look at objective evidence, it's say, why do I really believe that? Actually, I guess if it's believe. If it's. If you don't phrase it like, why am I unlovable? But instead, why do I believe I am? Then I find the evidence.

One of the things I'm trying to help on. Like in this example where we're saying I'm unlovable because I have evidence of past relationships that didn't work. Okay.

Exactly.

Okay. That is not a you problem. In other words, you are not a failure as a person. That is a life mastery problem. You didn't have the skills to recognize your limiting beliefs in the moment, recognize your limitations in communication, recognize your ability to choose a quality partner. Those are all life mastery problems.

And in recognizing that, you're able to challenge that limiting belief and be like, well, you know what? Maybe that data that I used to actually come up with this conclusion is kind of wrong.

Exactly.

Because, yes, I didn't get the result that I wanted and I wasn't loved, but maybe that's because I wasn't using the right strategy.

Well, here's. So here's. This is quasi scientifically proven. And I'll try to get it for Connor to put the show notes. There was a study done not long ago where it was kind of a subjective study to people that had healthy relationships versus people that had really poor relationships. And both behaviors tend to be more repetitive. So some people had quality relationships, quality relationship after, and it layered and the Other group had negative relationship, and it layered. Okay. One of the things that they discovered is there's like an imaginary L on your forehead when you are in that cycle of poisonous relations. Poisonous relationship. Poisonous relationship where you actually attract the people with fellow L's on their head. Okay? Now, I'm not calling anybody a loser because everybody's on their own journey. Well, you've heard me say that plainly before. I'm using it as an example that there's an aura, if you will, for lack of a better word, a countenance, if you will, that you put off when you were in an unhealthy state.

Okay.

Just like people that are high Ds, like, tend to like to hang out with people that are high Ds, just like people that are high aesthetic like to hang out with people that are high aesthetic. Okay. People who have similar life struggles, bad relationships, a history of bad relationships or whatever, tend to find more people that have a history of bad relationships, which keeps it going.

Yeah.

So how do you end it? You become self aware and you begin to work on your belief patterns. That simple.

By using bridge beliefs.

By using the bridge belief. Now, when you get started, you may have to not only think it, you may have to say it, and you may have to write it.

What about acting it? Like, what about trying to prove to.

Yourself that you totally can? I used to talk to my mirror all the time. You're worth it. You can do this. Keep going. Don't give up. It work, you know, and I would use evidence as.

That's what I was gonna say. You look for actual evidence that points to the contrary. So if you're saying I'm unlovable, instead of asking yourself, hey, what evidence do I have to support that? Also ask yourself, well, what evidence do I have to support that? That's not necessarily the truth.

Exactly.

And you might find that your brain comes up with some interesting answers like, well, hang on. I was loved by this one person one time, and I've had people love me.

People who struggle in relationships and who really struggle with a lot of limiting beliefs, specifically, the one common denominator is they're always willing to settle.

Wow.

They're always willing to settle. I'm willing to settle for the. For this job. I'm willing to settle for this relationships. I'm willing to settle for this income. I'm willing to settle for this life and family. I'm willing to settle. I'm willing to settle. I'm willing to settle. People who are typically masters of breakthrough or Achieve levels of life mastery, do something completely different rather than settle. They're constantly raising their standards.

I've always heard that we need to do another podcast on that as well because that's another Tony Robbins thing that I hear all the time. Raise your standards. You have to raise your standards. I kind of understand it.

Yeah.

But I'd like to dive more into theology.

Yeah. I'll definitely give you a practical way in which that, in which to put that together. For sure we should do a whiteboard lesson on mine. But many times your successes are the sum of your standards. Wow. Right. So we want to make sure that we capture that and is another way.

Of saying that we become what we settle for.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely.

I've heard you say that before.

I like, yeah, I can't. This stuff rattles off my brain. I can't remember what I say and what I don't say half the time. But when it comes to, when it comes to limiting. But when it comes to the belief system, if you're in the foundational level, if you're early on, you were going to start in the foundational existing level of beliefs, you're going to work backwards. Okay. You're going to come up to the limiting beliefs. You're going to start ripping out by the roots bridge belief. You're going to start taking the megaphone away from the limiting belief. Okay. I'll share this publicly really fast. When I was about to take my life on that bridge at Highway 440 and Capitol Boulevard, when I was about to go through that process, what was trying to make me jump.

A loud voice, so to speak, in my mind, you're not worthy. You're worthy. You're not worthy. You're stupid. You're not lovable. No one cares. Da da da da. Those are the things that someone who is struggling with.

Damn near demonic mentality, but who are struggling with insecurities and self worth issues at that level are actually hearing from their own brain.

Yeah. If you have recurring thoughts of I'm not going to make it, I'm not worthy, My life sucks.

So here's what I want to say to that.

You are worth it, you are worthy and you are loved. And I and the rest of this team would like to help you figure it out before you make that kind of decision, before you go that far. I've been there, My wife's been there. Several of our team members have been there. Let's talk.

Let's talk. There's a process. There's a proven process to Go from that place to some of the most joyful experiences and fulfillment experience that you've ever experienced.

And now's not the time to give up. Now's not the time to throw in the towel. Now's not the time to let those voices win. Now's the time to figure it out. Use the bridge belief and let's fight back. You're a greater warrior than you actually think you are.

It's more achievable than you think.

Absolutely.

There have been times in my life where I literally didn't think I was gonna make it at all. And months later, I was like, I don't even know why I was stressed about that.

It's crazy how that works.

But I only got there when I did the work to actually overcome whatever I was dealing with.

It's a powerful thing. Beliefs can be very, very, very, very destructive or they can be very, very awesome. We're trying to get through the process of making that a reality. So the next level up after you begin to overwrite the program with a challenge thought is the empowering belief. Okay. The empowering belief is now the opposite of the limiting belief. It's the megaphone of positivity aimed in your direction.

So after you've had enough time, essentially using your challenge thought and developing your limiting belief. Create muscle memory. It creates muscle memory, and after a certain threshold, it becomes an empowering belief.

Yeah. The same belief that used to take you out now becomes a belief that's now re anchored, and it's over in that program, which means you don't have to keep going back with that one thing with a challenge thought, which is how you can actually change a belief.

And what's weird is I've actually started to see, and you have a lot more experience with overriding limiting beliefs than I do to actually draw from. But I've almost found that when you go through this process, the empowering belief that you replace your limiting belief with is like 10 times stronger. And you're never gonna go back to that limiting belief again, or at least you shouldn't, because you've been there before and you proved it wrong.

That's right. All right, so as we're digging into the empowering belief, the belief. The empowering belief becomes anchored because now it's replaced the limiting belief. Okay, so the one that used to say, I'm not good enough, says, I'm doing great.

Yeah. And you almost have this sense of, I could speak from recent experience, confidence and relief. And it's a very powerful sense of relief. This is what I'm noticing. It is the best feeling when you've been stuck for years and you finally start to break through because you're like all of these, all of this fear about how you're gonna end up just gets washed away with hope.

Yeah, absolutely.

And it's the most beautiful, rewarding feeling. And it only comes after you actually do the work.

Yeah. Well, here's the three biggest things I want everybody to take away. To avoid or to consider avoiding. First of all, letting your subconscious decide, okay, which way you're going. Let your conscious mind, which is the challenge thought, tell your subconscious who's boss.

I promise you that your conscious mind is stronger than your subconscious if you do the push ups. Okay?

If you do the work, you got.

To do the work.

There's a lot of science people out there that are like, actually, technically, your subconscious mind is 50 times more powerful, but. Which I have read before. But what we're saying is you are in control over your thoughts.

So I agree that more subconscious behaviors influence your life more than conscious behaviors. However, when you go to change a negative belief pattern, a negative thought pattern, the only thing that can overcome that, harness it and reposition it, is the conscious mind.

Right.

So on a negative, happens to me right now from time to time, I have a negative thought or negative belief. Right. And I'll go immediately back to it and challenge it.

How long have you found that? I always ask you these types of questions, but how long have you found it actually takes before. I mean, I'm sure it's different for.

Each belief, but yeah, if you're consistent and you do the push ups, you do the work.

If you challenge your thought every day.

It'S about the same as it would any other breaking any other habit, really.

So like a couple months, two, three.

Months, 66 days, high side, 100 days, low side, 30 days. But it's about within that range as an average, around 60 some days.

So you can go from I am unlovable to I'm totally capable and worthy of being loved.

Of receiving love. Yeah. And that would be the comment, I would say I'm totally capable and worthy of being loved. That's the perfect challenge to follow in.

Just a handful of months.

Yeah.

As short as one if you're lucky.

Get out of the house. You know, if you're someone who likes to just avoid the world because you've been in that place for so long, get out of the house, go to a Starbucks, put your earbuds in, grab a notepad, grab a Computer and just feel the essence, maybe for there.

You know, work on yourself. You know, give yourself some progress in some area of life.

Yeah.

Even if you feel like you're unlovable because of relationships, maybe take up a new hobby, get good at dancing or singing or something that can maybe give you more relational value or at least the appearance of which to yourself, that might give you some extra confidence, which would help you in the reinforcement of these new, stronger beliefs.

That's right. The other thing is avoid digesting information that only supports your negative belief confirmation bias.

Avoid that.

It's exactly what I'm talking about. One of the greatest problems that I had early on was my sphere of influence, which is why we talk about relationships so much. My sphere of influences didn't want me to break my belief pattern because they were comfortable they were able to manipulate me to influence me, to influence my behavior to the. To their best interest, not what was the best interest of my life. Okay. I had to remove myself from those environments for a long extended season in order to get myself together, rebuild my psyche, so to speak, with my limiting, going from limiting to an empowering belief over and over again to the point where I got. I was now their inspiration to do the same. Okay. There will be certain situations, there will be certain relationships, there will be certain areas in life you will probably have to walk away from at least for an extended season while you're figuring this out. Okay. One of the reasons that people that get in abusive relationships get in abusive relationships is because of the slow fade that happens. But historically, when a husband or a wife is starting to tell the spouse, the other spouse, that you're unlovable, you're unworthy, can't believe I married you. You're so whatever. You're just like your mom, whatever that stuff is, that garbage. Right.

Inevitably, they've already heard that before, which is why it feels so comfortable, which is why they stay.

You see what I'm saying? These are anchor points. These are ways in which things stay connected. Okay? So make sure you avoid putting yourself in situations where you're only digesting and receiving the information about what you already know. I'm telling you right now, there's a new way to know. There's a new process, there's a new way forward. We've done.

Works.

Do it. Do the push ups.

Go through the process.

Go through the process. All right?

Avoid not using the challenge thought as soon as the negative thought arrives.

Don't give the negative thought space and time to marinate. So if all of A sudden you have the I'm unlovable thought. Right. Challenge it immediately.

Don't wait.

Don't wait. You don't want to hear it twice or three times.

Why is that?

Same way your brain is wired to answer questions. Remember I told you a long time ago that the way your brain is wired, that if you ask it a question, it has to give you an answer. And the type of question you ask determines the type of answer you get. Yep. Okay. Same process. Okay. If you don't deal with the negative thought in the moment, then your conscious mind loses the strength of the power it would have to basically manhandle that thing.

And that's when your subconscious mind takes.

Over, and then you go into dwell mode. And then your conscious mind has a really, really hard time getting back engaged.

Yeah. Mel Robbins actually wrote a book called the Five Second Rule that basically says you have five seconds before your subconscious mind essentially takes over.

I've learned to read the book. I never heard of it before.

It's a pretty good book. Yeah.

Written a good book. I'm a fan of Mel Robbins. She's a good girl, good lady, good woman. Excuse me. I'm not trying to be demeaning in any way, shape, or form. She's awesome. But those are the three things I think that people make the biggest mistakes on. Let's avoid those. Let's kind of get stuff going.

I will say also, make sure.

You'Re being aware of, or beware of, I should say, of influences that have a problem for every solution. Right. If you're. If you've been constantly in a negative state of mind for a long time, make sure you avoid negative people.

Yeah. I mean, you're influenced.

You're gonna want. You're gonna want to get around optimistic people who are in a better headspace.

If you're depressed and you're around mopey people who are down all the time and they're talking about how crappy life is, it's not gonna help you.

Same thing if you. If you find yourself hiding in your bedroom, not coming down to eat, don't.

Watch depressing shows and stuff like that also. And listen to depressing music. Don't do that.

That's called programming.

Yeah. That's a subliminal influence.

It's subliminal influence and it's programming. You're reinforcing the anchor.

All of these lessons we teach are intertwined.

Oh, yeah.

That's why the thing is, it's also.

Why it's been so hard for me to break them. Apart and go step by step by step.

And that's why, I mean, what we're doing is really a challenge because of that. Because there's so many nuances to what it takes to be successful and transform your life. That's why I think the self help industry typically a lot of times gets a bad name as being too rah rah and too cliche and too high level. It's very hard to break things down to the level that we are attempting.

I don't think people have historically wanted to do the work to break it down. That's true too. I think that as much as I love the personal development space and personal development industry, I think there's a lion's share of people that have forgotten that they're supposed to be master servants.

They feel like that they're entitled to huge boats and whatever. And look, if you've changed enough lives, like Dave Ramsey's changed millions and millions of lives, that dude can buy whatever the heck he wants. I won't care.

I want a boat one day.

You see what I'm saying? Sounds awesome, but he's changed millions of lives.

Right? Exactly right. So he's earned that.

He's earned the respect, he's earned the dignity that comes with it. And the same thing with a lot of other influencer. However, there are a lot of other influencers. I even had. In fact, this happened. We'll close with this. Had a guy. So our Instagram audience has been blowing up recently, which I appreciate, we've been sharing a lot of.

It's been awesome. We've been getting some love from you guys and also some haters, which is part of the process.

Yeah. So one of the things that Connor trips out on is I actually talk to the haters. Yeah. But I don't do it in the way that people think you would talk to a hater. So one of the guys that reached out and commented on a post was like, haha, great advice from someone who's never actually been there, never actually done anything. Da da da da da da. And I was like, you know what, I bet there are millions of people out there that actually feel that way because there are self proclaimed.

There were so many of them out there. It has a bad name.

It has a bad name. And he had to. And ironically I replied back to him and said, hey look, I totally understand where you're coming from. Haha. I totally get it. I said, I can't speak for other people, but I can tell you this is my story. And I just Said, hey, look, I started my first company roughly 20 years ago. I was sleeping in a car. And now I own several companies. I employ several hundred people across three states. And I invite you to stick around and to see that we're the real deal. We're not trying to manipulate or trying to do whatever. And I don't think when I respond back to people that are throw shade, they're not expecting, number one, they're not expecting us to respond.

Well, also, I mean, I'm sure this guy's a good guy, you know, I mean, he's just.

Yeah, he's just like, he's anybody else who's been, who's been wrong and cynical. I mean, when you hear things enough times or enough broken promises are laid before you, of course you're gonna be.

Like, enough influencers, Say, hey, buy my thousand dollar course and I'm gonna teach you the entire process. And then you get into the course and there's like two modules. Yeah, they're like five minutes each and they teach you something that you could have found on a YouTube video. There's no real value.

Well, there's no production value. They don't, they don't take the time to make sure the experience. There's a lot of different things. There's a lot of different things that we think is broken with the personal development space that we have chosen as a company not to engage with. Right.

We want to be the solution, essentially.

We want to be the solution. We want to be a real solution. We want to have a real heart for real people needing a real change, period.

And believe it or not, I mean, with. Even though there's so many people in the space, we actually think that that's somewhat of a rare thing.

Well, according to the way the social media stuff has been engaging and growing, there is, I think people recognize that. I think you got a text this week from someone who's been watching our content.

Yeah, I have a close friend who is a personal development junkie and he was like, man, you guys are so approachable.

Yeah, we want to be.

Specifically, we want to be.

We want to be. I want people when they see me at a live event to feel like they can walk right up and talk to me. I don't want them to feel like I'm somehow above the crowd or that crap. I'm not.

You always put yourself.

I don't hide in the. I don't hide in the green room in the back end or whatever. I'll socialize.

And doesn't act like a Big shot or anything.

I'm not a big shot. I'm just, I'm a guy that did the push ups and I'm a guy who knows the benefit of doing the push ups. I'm the guy.

Genuinely care and want to help people the best way you can. And you're just, all you're doing is just drawing from your experience and trying to, and, and the lessons that you've learned that have been impactful in your life and doing your best to see if it can help some other people.

And you know, it's funny, that guy responded back and he said, I can't tell you how surprised and thankful I am that you responded. Keep up. And then he says, keep up the good work.

That's amazing.

Right?

I love that. I love you, man. If you're listening.

That's right. Look, here's the deal. People will know very quickly if you're real, if you're for real for them or not. People can smell inauthenticity a mile away nowadays. Right. And it's okay for you guys to hold us accountable. I don't, I don't have any problems with that. We're serious about helping you succeed and see helping you get your breakthrough. We're serious about helping make sure your relationships are good and you figure out your finances.

We have nothing to hide.

I have nothing to hide. Nothing. Google. Google is your worst enemy if you have something to hide. That's true. So anyway, guys, look. Limiting beliefs, four stages of beliefs covered them again real quick. Rundown. Foundational belief where you programmed limiting belief was amplified. The stuff you believe about yourself bridge belief, the thoughts. The challenge thought that you have to rewrite to use to rewrite to leverage it. Eventually moving to the empowering belief which becomes part of your DNA, which gives you 10 times the confidence you had before.

Yeah. And if you're a visual learner, we taught this lesson in one of our whiteboard lessons of the week. So if you can go to YouTube or if you're already on YouTube, you can check that out.

Yeah. And by the way, thank you. Thank you, seriously, thank you for the recent social growth. Thank you for engaging. Thank you for taking a chance on us. Thank you for giving us an opportunity to serve you. And here's the decades more free service to help you guys win. Until then, we'll see you on the next journey Principles. Journey Principles. Take care, guys. I'll see you in the next video. And please, if you don't mind and you enjoyed the life mastery content we're building consider hitting the subscribe button and also hitting the bell, so you'll be the first to get notified anytime we release new content.