Caring About What Others Think, What To Look For In A Mentor | Life-Mastery Q&A

Why do I care so much about what people think about me? I would say that the. Probably the biggest reason you care so much about what people think about you is you haven't got a clear sense of identity yet. You're not super clear on what your strengths are. You're not super clear on what your struggles are. You're not super clear on what your blind spots are. You're not super clear on what your passions are. You're not super clear on what your purpose are. Your purpose is right? So at the heart of this question is finding clarity about you, otherwise known as self awareness. One of the biggest hurdles I had to overcome in my life and going from where I was, from sleeping in a car to where I am today is becoming as self aware as possible. Now I'll go ahead and share with you that self awareness is like personal growth. It's always continuing. As soon as you climb one mountain in a hurdle and you master something else, you're going to have something else you need to look at. And that's okay. All your blind spots and all your struggles aren't going to show themselves all at one time. But with self awareness and actually spending time focused on getting to know who you are, determining what you like, what you're passionate about, the strings that you bring to the table, your personality style, your value systems. When you spend time looking at those specific things, then you get really clear on your overall identity. Okay. We call it the self awareness axis. Once you take the time to get to know who you are and you understand what value you bring to the world, then you no longer feel like you have to compare yourself, compare yourself to other people, and you no longer feel like that you have to meet someone else's expectation. Why? Because you're clear on who you are, where you want to go and how you're going to get there.

What should I be looking for in a mentor? I actually want to do something different here. Hey, Connor, come here. I'm gonna let Connor answer this question.

That's a really interesting way to do this. All right, cool. I was not expecting this at all. My hair's not looking good today. So put up with that, guys. Okay, so you want me to just answer it?

Yeah. Okay, here we go.

Someone who's actually done it. That's the first thing. So I wanna. I wanna look for somebody who, yeah, has experience, somebody who has character. That's very important. Someone who is this kind of goes along with that. But someone who's a man of integrity or woman, whoever. I'm Looking for those are really the important things. I mean, I mean, and I guess someone who's going to be patient with me and compassionate because I tend to be very stubborn and I tend to. I mean, I bump heads with this guy all the time. Like you just randomly put, put me behind a camera. But yeah, I think. Oh, and also someone who knows where I'm going and Because. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Wants to help me get there. Because if they have an idea of where you where, where you are going and they want to help you get there.

Then I think that they're going to be well equipped to do that as long as they themselves have been there. They're a person of integrity and character and then whatever the other thing I said is. So that's the way I'd answer that.

Awesome. Thank you, Connor. Cool.

No worries.

How do I get further faster? It sounds like someone's probably already struggling with a little bit of impatience now. Someone who is very impatient. I totally get where you're coming from. I think we all want to advance quicker than sometimes our means allow us or education allows us or our skill set allows us. So let's break it down. Step one. If you're trying to get further faster, get super self aware. Spend a lot of time becoming super self aware because you have no idea if you're actually missing out on opportunities simply because people may not want to engage with you as much. And the more you become self aware, the more open minded you are to some of the things you need to improve upon, which makes you more relatable. So self awareness is one also if you want to get further faster, be willing to put in the work. Be willing to put in the work. Be willing to not be distracted. Be willing to put your head down. I can tell you that when I went to start my first business, I had in many ways I had no choice. It was one of the biggest blessings I ever had. I spent the first four and a half years with my head down with my nose to the grindstone, literally seven days a week for four years straight to launch my first company. And that's what it took. I didn't have relationships, I didn't go out, I didn't party, I didn't do video games, I didn't do TV. I worked, I got up at 6am I would go to work essentially doing the job site stuff, carrying lumber and all this kind of stuff that came in with the construction phase. I would, at lunchtime I would then change my clothes and drive to a potential client's office. And try to pitch them on why I was going to be their solution for their construction needs. I didn't get back, I get back on the job side, I go back to the crew and start going back to the physical labor side. I'd then get done around 6 o', clock, around dusk, I'd get a quick bite to eat on one of the many fast food joints, which I don't recommend on a regular basis, home, take a quick shower, open up my computer, start doing bids and quotes and estimates and getting stuff done. And then I would go to bed at midnight and the cycle would repeat for literally four and a half years. If you sincerely want to get further faster, you're going to have to do things that other people are unwilling to do. Right? And I don't mean climbing over people, I mean the effort. The top 1%, top performers all put forth amazing efforts.

I think Tony Robbins refers to as massive action. Right? You got to take action, you got to get going. Okay? That's what worked for me. I think it'll work for you. In fact, I know it'll work for you because every time I've seen it implemented with my leadership teams or my team members or people within our organizations and they win and they win big and they win fast, I find that most people aren't willing to sacrifice the short term to actually enjoy the long term success that comes with it. So go put in the work. You can do this. I believe in you.

Connor's going to talk about his follow up question.

Yeah, I want to know how you had the stamina to. What did you say? Get up at 5am and then go to bed at midnight and just repeat every single day. How did you do that?

Okay, I would answer that question three phases. First of all, phase one is I didn't have a choice. For me, if I didn't work that hard, if I didn't put that effort in, I wasn't going to eat and I wasn't going to have shelter and I darn sure wasn't to pay off 70 some thousand dollars in debt. So that was a huge motivator for why I think, secondly is I felt like I had something to prove to my mentor. In all truth, my first mentor, Steve Myrick, he gave me a company, well, I call it a company. He gave me a truck and some equipment and said, hey look, you can do my work. And I made a bunch of money for the first year and then I got cocky, arrogant and I blew all the money. And the next thing you know, I was Homeless. And Steve gave me a second chance. A second chance that I didn't deserve, a second chance that other people I don't think would have gotten. And in a moment of humility, I asked for that second chance, and he said yes. And that became the very large construction company that has managed to provide enough resources to help a lot of people. So that would be number two. The third thing is I feel like I had something I needed to prove to myself. I felt like that I had enough season of the previous year where I actually had a bunch of money, where I was playing around a horse, you know, way too much. And as a result, inevitably what happened is I got distracted. Next thing you know, I lost everything. So I felt like I wanted to find out how far I could go if I just didn't stop.

So it wasn't a question of physical aptitude. It was a question of.

You had powerful enough reasons why I would say that. Yeah. I think the. The. At the end of the day, I had three massive reasons why I needed to not. I wouldn't even call it succeed. I wasn't worried about succeeding. I just wanted to see how far I could go. I wanted to see how far if I just broke through every single limitation. In other words, if I cared less about my limitation and cared more about my progress or my chance at a better life, I was willing to go after it like my life depended on it. I heard Will Smith say one time that he wasn't afraid to die on a treadmill. He was going to be the hardest worker in the room. That's who I've been as a person for as long as I've known. I've outworked most of my competitors, which is why I've been mass. I'd say I've been able to become a reasonably successful in the different business ventures I've got. I just massively care. And like, even with Journey principles now, my massive reason is I want to transform a million lives. Right? I don't want to be another echo in the world. I want to be a voice that inspires people to take action, inspires them to take the steps, and inspires people to keep moving forward. And I felt like if I can do that, then I'll have lived up to my life's fullest potential.

Hey, guys, I hope you enjoyed this week's Life Mastery Q and A video. We're doing a new Q and A video every single Monday, and if you have questions you'd like answered, simply leave a comment with your question below. This video. Or email us at questionsurneyprinciples.com and if we use your question, we'll send you a free gift just to say thank you.