From Country Star to Finding Faith: Granger Smith on Grief, Suffering, and Leaning on God

If someone's going through something right now and they're going, man, I'm just trying to grow my faith. I'm just trying to get closer to God. I'm not really sure how to do that. I would say, well, how do you get close to anybody? How do you trust? Because you could interchange that word faith with trust. How do you trust your mom? You'd say, because I know her really well and consistently I've seen her live up to the foundation of the trust that I expect her to have. And so when people say, man, I just really need to lean in, into my faith with God, I would say, well, what are you doing to get to know him? And it sounds so simple, but he has revealed himself, who he is, and all we need to know the knowledge of them in the Bible.

Guys, help me welcome Granger Smith. Dude, what's going on, man?

Man, we are meeting for the first time. And it's good to finally meet you, brother. I appreciate you having me.

Yeah, dude, I'm so excited to talk to you. You know, it's not that often that you meet someone who has a crazy successful career, goes through a massive adversity, and then literally turns his entire focus towards Jesus. Administrative, helping people kind of understand that what it's like to suffer in a sanctified way. And I want to start a little bit there because I find, you know, my. I'll. I tell you this, my. And this is just brand spanking news, this me being a little vulnerable with you. Uh, during my trip, recent trip to, with the family to Maui, my mother calls me and she says, hey, look, when you get home. Actually, she says, she texts me. She said, when you get home, I want you to, you know, make sure you give me a call. I'm like, okay, that's odd. So, of course, you know, an hour goes by and we finished kind of doing some of the family stuff, and I pick up the phone, so, hey, what's going on? I says, well, you're supposed to call me when you get home. I'm like, yeah, but your message didn't sound like you. So what's going on? And she said, well, the doctor just. The doctors discovered some stuff in my lungs in the last test. So I've got a PET scans, you know, set up and whatever. And you know, it. In those, in those moments your heart sinks, you're not really sure what to say. You know, do you try to offer encouragement? Do you try to kind of work with your own heart? Do you kneel down and pray like you know, kind of then. And I, I found myself stuck. And I'm very fortunate. My mother loves Jesus, and I don't have to worry about. Regardless of whatever happens, I know she's all right and she's gonna be awesome. But, you know, it's. There's still an element of sadness and, and despair that comes with. Anytime you get news that you weren't expecting, and it's not necessarily the most favorable. So I'm curious to know, why did you spend so much or why'd you make such a. A large pivot, you know, from country music into really helping people at large learn how to suffer? Well, so to speak.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's a, It's a great way to introduce this conversation, because what you just said is something that everyone will go through at some point. I mean, you live long enough, you're going to get a phone call like that. Yeah. And we never wake up in the morning and go, today's probably the day I'll get that. That bad phone call.

Yeah.

But those. Inevitably. That just happens.

Yeah.

And so.

To answer your question, it was, it wasn't all at once. In fact, I keep a daily journal. It's a digital journal, and I've been doing that for six years now. And so I could trace back these, these moments. And it's so important because every morning I, I, I put a new entry in the journal.

Yeah.

And then I go back two, three, four, five, six years and just kind of scan what was going on on this day. And it's usually the same time, like, I'm pretty consistent with the same time over the years that I'm entering in something, and I'm just a creature of habit. And I could kind of trace back that argument that you're making of, when did this happen and why did this happen? I could see the, the early remnants of that.

Yeah.

Beginning to happen about four years ago. And it's like, hey, what am I going to do with this country music thing?

Yeah.

Because I'm getting busier and busier talking to people about the question you just asked. How do you handle this situation?

Yeah.

And so for a while, country music was like the platform to be able to do that. Meet and greets really turned into, like, a Q and A as people are coming up, like, hey, nice to meet you. Take a picture. Hey, can I tell you that something's going on in my life, something, you know, with my grandma. And so I'd find myself literally telling the other people in the meet and greet, one second Let me, Let me talk to this. And then I'd say, hey, do you mind just go stand, stand over there. I'm going to finish this line and then let's talk because we. There's more to say about this because it's too hard for me to just to go, sorry, that's all I got. You know, see you next year, next time we come to Phoenix. See you next time. And so that, that was a slow thing, that, Like a slow attrition that started weighing on me that, man, I probably need more time to do this. And then as I started writing my trade book Like a River, that's when I really started thinking about, hey, when this book comes out, this is just going to open this door wide open to all these people that have been coming and asking and. And me being able to try to speak into them. So, so all that's happening more and more and more. But there was something else happening also on the side, and this was happening simultaneously. I was doing these meet and greets and talking to these people, and I was, you know, getting more and more into the Word, reading the Bible, learning more and more about who God is. And then I would go on the stage and I would rave and need worship. There's. There's really no other way. Like, people might listen and go, oh, come on, man. Really? Is that worship? No, I. I think that's. That's an accurate way. As I look back on it, in hindsight, I needed people to have their hands in the air singing along my ling. God forbid someone's up there frowning at my concert. I need them smiling, I need them joyful. Listen to me, raise your hands and sing along. And I need all the seats full. And if it's not like that, then I start kind of blaming the city. Like, man, we're never coming back to Carbondale, Illinois again. You know, these people, they don't appreciate. Now, I'm not saying any of this stuff, but deep down, there's a. There's a. Some place in the, the evil realms of my heart that thinks that we're never, never coming back to Carbondale. They don't appreciate us. Yeah. Meanwhile, going out and I'm talking to these people about their. Their tough times, and I started more and more, I could not reconcile those two things. When Jesus says, if anyone would come after me, let him deny himself, take up his cross and follow me. And I'm like, lord, I want, want to follow you. I want to be a warrior in your kingdom army. Yeah. And yet I have a Side hobby of needing worship for myself. And that, that reconciliation, that that gap became bigger and bigger until I said, you know what? I'm letting it go. I'm letting it go.

Full surrender. I love it. You know, made me think, you know, as a speaker, I started speaking probably 10 years ago. In the first three to four years, it was the. Just very much that, you know, I. I wanted to be my quote, unquote, you know, aspirational mentors, right? You know, wanted to be, you know, a John Maxwell, a Patrick Linzioni, a Dave Ramsey. Like, you know, I wanted to be these guys, right? And it was crazy. I went through a. A reversal in one of the businesses I owned at the time that I recently exited. And this is like 2017. And then that entire time, I was craving, Craving admiration, praising validation, craving more from those that were, you know, taking more advantage of the content. And, you know, I went through a business reversal with an embezzlement thing. And I'll never forget this. I went to go. I had to act. I was actually notified about the embezzlement con process. I can't, like, say certain things, but.

And I'll never forget this, it was the day before I was supposed to step on stage and teach for three days straight. We had a program at the time called transform you. It was done, kind of designed to be a life mastery system to help you overcome whatever adversity is in your way and, like, conquer your fears and get after it, right? And here I am getting smacked in the face was probably the largest adversity I'd faced at that time outside of being. And I never forget this. I had this little lady, or her name was D. Or Denise, we called her daughter, walks up to me and she says at the. Like the day of. I'm about to. I'm about to weep in front of her, like, go. I'm about to go absolutely crazy, just crying, crying my head off. And she goes, oh, no, honey. Oh, no, honey. This is the cost of the calling. You can't.

You can't.

You can't get to where you're going without going through this door. You have to go through this door. What I didn't realize was three months after that conversation, I went and did the event. Three months after that conversation happens, I'm still a train wreck, meaning I'm still going through the. The thick of the aftermath of, you know, what, what an embezzlement looks like and occurs and all that stuff, right? And I'll never forget this. I drove to her house at the time, sat in her study and, you know, she was telling me this, she said, no, God's going to put you back on stage. He's gonna. I'm like. And I remember telling her, I don't want it. If this is what it cost, I don't want it. He can have it. I never, I never want to see it ever again. And she goes, honey, that's fantastic. I'm like, what? She's like, now you're ready for it?

Now you're ready. Yes. Amen.

Yeah. So I, I, I, so I kind of relate to that story in a big way because I think there is a, you know, they, they say, and they say in the Bible that obviously your gifts and your talents are without repentance. So God gives you destiny, gifts and all that good stuff for you that you're supposed to manifest in the world and use for this. I believe. Now, I wouldn't have argued this point earlier, but in the service of others. Okay. Yeah. And each of these different things, these, these suffering moments we go through are designed to teach us things, to position it so it truly becomes the service of others. And then there's also a place in scripture, obviously, where it talks about, you know, when you seek God or, you see, I'm a loosely phrase this, I don't have a Bible in front of me. But when you seek God with all your heart, essentially what he does is he changes your heart or the things that you want or what he wants for you, and then he just opens up everything for you. Kind. Right. So talk to me a little about, if you don't mind, about how leaning into God or leaning into Jesus transforms you from the inside out and maybe how that relates to, if we're talking to somebody who's maybe going through a very difficult time right now, and they've been either on the fence, either wanting to lean into faith, questioning, lean into the faith, or completely absent of faith, meaning they're not, you know, and they just kind of been suffering in silence. Like, break that down a little bit for me because I'd love to get people across the line of, if we can today in our, in our brief conversation to help them really get the healing that they need.

Yeah, I would say, first of all, that's a, that's a, that's a real thing. You know, that's, that's a real question. And by the way, when the Bible says, I'll give you the desires of your heart, you're right. It's, we need to think of it in Terms of. He'll give us new desires. Yes. He'll give us the new wants so that we want things that he wants for us. And it's not for. It's not because he needs it. That's kind of where we need to start with this. God doesn't need anything from us. Yeah. Sometimes we get in this mentality like, man, I'm building the kingdom, you know, God needs me. I'm like, I'm building the king, making the kingdom big God, you know, plunder in hell. Or I hear people say sometimes, you know, and, and.

Yeah. And God's like, oh, did you think I needed you? Yeah, I'm God.

You think I needed you? I made you. I made everything. I hold everything in my hand. The sun comes up because of me. You have air in your lungs just because of me. If I snap my finger, it's gone.

Yeah.

Did you think I needed you for anything? But instead, it's more so he. He creates us for a purpose.

With a reason, with a meaning. Just like, you know, Ford Motor company makes the F250 to run on their power stroke. To run on diesel. Yeah. And so he goes, I'm. I made you to run on service to others. So that's why when you learned that, it was a big deal to you. It's like, I'm. I'm going to serve others. Wow, this feels right. That's like a power stroke running on diesel. Of course it feels right. You were made for that. And so these, these little things, if someone's going through something right now and they're going, man, I'm just trying to grow my faith. I'm just trying to get closer to God. I'm not really sure how to do that. Well, I would say, well, how do you get close to anybody? How do you trust? Because you could interchange that word faith with trust.

Yeah.

So to the listener, say, you know, you mentioned your mom. I say, how do you trust your mom? You'd say, because I know her really well.

Yeah.

And consistently I've seen her live up to the foundation of the trust that I expect her to have. Yeah. Over time. And so when people say, man, I just really need to lean in, into my faith with God, I would say, well, what are you doing to get to know him? Because, because it's sounds so simple, but he has revealed himself, who he is, and all we need to know the knowledge of him in the Bible.

Yeah.

So if the person says, I mean, I don't, I don't really read the Bible. I do Have a few devotionals. You know, I go to church occasionally. You know, I. I have dreams, I meditate, you know, about God. I pray to God. But if you're not actively seeking him as he's revealed himself in the Bible, then you're not knowing him any more than you did yesterday. And if you're not knowing him any more than you did yesterday, your faith is not growing. And if your faith is not growing and you don't know who he is, you're losing your sense of hope. You're losing your sense of purpose and meaning. And then the world starts to just get darker and darker and close in around you, and you're just wondering, is there even a God at all?

Yeah.

Because you don't know him as he's revealed.

Yeah, no, I think that's. I think that's really important. You know, I was thinking through things. There was a friend of mine who has a. He's. He's obviously a thought leader. And he says all the. All the time from Sage is like, he. He said he knew of God on the way up, but he got to know God on the way down, you know, and. Yeah, finally. That's a really interesting time of perspective and shift, I'll tell you that. When I was going through the homeless journey, this is obviously two decades ago, one of the things that I faced specifically is I was terrified of God for some reason, from a perspective of so much fear and letting him know me as if he didn't already know me, that I didn't want to pursue Him. I don't know if it was anger, if it was bitterness or resentment, and I kind of want to maybe touch on those things just a little bit, if we can, because again, I want to remove as many roadblocks as I can for people getting to know God a little better. And, you know, friend of mine, Sean Bowles, he's a.

Pastor thought leader, you know, in the. In the prophetic space out in California, says all the time, says, you're just borrow my faith. So for those listening and watching right now who maybe don't share our faith or belief, just borrow for a couple minutes. Because we want to. We want to speak to your heart a little bit. So maybe let's talk about bitterness, resentment, and some of those. Some of those emotions that we face in times of tragedy, in times of not knowing, in times of confusion. And so we can bring a little clarity to that.

Yeah, I think it's great to have clarity and to be practical instead of just this weird spiritual conversation. You And I are having about some religion that. That it's our religion, but. But anyone could have theirs. And I'd rather just. Let's get practical and say, well, what does this actually mean? How do we act this out? How do we. What do I do? Like Granger? What do I do with my hands? You know?

Yeah.

And so to your buddy, by the way, on the stage, you know that. That says. That says he knew God on the way down. Got to know on the way down. He must be a stubborn guy like.

Me, because the same thing. That's why it resonates with me, because.

God takes stubborn men like us, or women, and strips everything from us slowly. And we continue to fight against it and we continue to resist until we hit that rock bottom. Yeah. And when we're there on rock bottom, it's like, that's when he goes, are you listening now? And. And it's in the same way. You know what's crazy? That old movie, the Ten Commandments.

Yeah.

You remember that? Charleston Heston, like, 1956.

Yeah.

I was watching that with my kids. And there's this scene because Moses goes through this. You know, he gets kicked out of Egypt. He was the prince of Egypt. He had everything. Yeah. He. He goes up against Pharaoh, who he grew up with. They get in this argument. Pharaoh kicks him out. You know, making this short. The story very short. Kicks him out in the desert, and he's just. He's crawling through the desert, no water, no food, and he's trying to make it to some kind of civilization. Civilization. And the narrator, which is just amazing in that movie, I don't remember exactly what he said, but it was like. And then the man, once he was stripped of everything he had. Yes. With nothing left to hang on to, like metal. And the crucible.

Yeah.

Was. It was finally. He was finally ready to be molded by the hand of the maker.

Yeah.

And it's like, that's it, man. That. That's it. When metal is melted completely, all the impurities are gone. It's finally ready to be forged only in that moment in the crucible. And that is. That's just the story. We see that. We see evidence of that everywhere in life. You hear testimonies of that. That's your testimony. That's my testimony. And so when. When someone is in that moment, it is natural to go, God, you. What's your problem? You're either not up there or you're not listening, or you don't care, or. And I'm resentful and I don't I don't think you're. I don't think you're a good God. It's totally natural for the molten lava to say that before it's forged into the sword. Yeah.

Or becomes the city of Maui.

Or becomes the city of Maui. Yeah. Yeah. So God. God continues to bring us down until we have nothing left but to rely on him. And when you're asking him, God, are you good? God, I'm resentful. God, I'm angry. The great thing about those question is questions. You're talking to him. You're in communication with him. And we see this in the book of Job in the Bible. But Job says, got all these problems. And God says, hey, I got a question for you now. Now you listen to me. Were you there when I laid the foundations of the earth? Where were you? Oh, man. And we have to get to that point, because I love a big God as he's revealed the Bible. I love a general. I love a general that says, I know this is tough. I know we're losing men in this war. Yeah. But I will fight this. I will win this. Join me for victory. Stand by me. I love. It's like a football coach that says, I know this game is tough, but I've got a game plan that we will win. And I stand up and I go. Put me in, Coach. I want to fight for this general. I want to fight for this coach. Not. Not a coach that goes, I'm so sorry, guys. I didn't see any of this coming. I'm gonna. I'm gonna be here for you. I'm gonna. I'm gonna be with you, but I don't know where we go from here. And I certainly. I'm not responsible for any of the bad things that happened. Yeah. But. But I'm. I'm here to help you. Our God in the. As revealed in the Bible goes. You've had bad things that happen to you. I was there. I wrote this story. Yeah, of course. I know this. I was there with you so that you could now be seeking me. Yeah, that's why I did it. That's like the sword thing. Why'd you melt me?

Yeah.

So that you could be the sword that you are today.

That's right. That's right. Dude. I love that. In fact, it makes me think of one of my favorite. When I released my first book a number of years ago, the story that I related my life to was Jacob wrestling with the angel or the angel of the Lord, depending on which translation it was.

Yeah.

And because my story is very much of wrestling, like, emotionally, spiritually, physically, just wrestling with God constantly. You know, if. If you're real, then how come this is happening? If. I mean, because, you know, and. And it's funny, the. The older I've gotten, the more I've realized more people have gone through what I've been through or similar to things, and there's more of us that are more unified than not. But yet in those moments, we feel like we're the only one.

Oh, yeah.

And as I was thinking through this, you know, thing, I just remember the scripture saying, and Jacob wrestled with the Lord or the angel of the Lord or the angel until essentially he was blessed. And I find that people who will wrestle in that wrestling is a closeness. I mean, if you imagine you and I wrestling right now on the floor or something like that, we're close. Like, we're trying to bend these. Bend the arm and bend the leg, and then he, you know, and. And the other piece I love about that story is he touches the hip socket. And then Jacob's never the same. So it's like when you wrestle with God, he will touch you at a certain point where the blessing not only flows, but as the blessing flows, you're forever changed. You're never the same person all over again. Jacob was never the same after that moment. You know, in these crucible moments, we think many times, I feel like, that we let them define us when really they're actually shaping us. But going back to the molten lava concept, you know, and so that's the story that kind of really pops in my head, is the importance of wrestling. Because in that, wrestling develops closeness, does it not?

It absolutely does. And. And like I said, that's when you're in communication with them. You know, I mean, in that case, physically.

Yeah, but.

But wrestle with them. I say that all the time to people. Read the word, sing the word, pray the word, meditate the word, wrestle with. With the word.

Yeah.

Have doubts about the word, but at least you're in it.

Yeah. You're.

You're. You're in it. You're cultivating it. And. And the truth will reveal itself.

Yeah. No, I love it. You know, I was thinking, too, that, you know, in this grand scheme of things, you know, and one of the things that I do when I. When I try to. When I. When I get excited to have guests on, like yourself, and I try to always want to honor my guest and get, you know, get the best out of them for the audience to hear and share and you recently did a sermon on what it's like to be forgotten or to feel like you're forgotten by God. And I know we've kind of been. We've kind of been talking about it in the general conversation, but let's say there's somebody right now and says God has completely forgotten me, or I don't believe he exists because I feel forgotten. What would you say to them?

Well, you know, we just had a. A crazy solar eclipse in Texas. I don't know if you. Did you get any of that?

We hardly got any in Utah from what I can remember. Yeah.

Okay.

Okay.

You guys had it several years ago. I think you had it out west a little bit. But we had this eclipse, and it's crazy to think of what the eclipse is because it's dark in the middle of the day and the sun is so massive. I mean, it's just billions. I don't know. What is it billions of miles?

I don't know.

It's huge. I can't even. Can't even begin to guess. But. But what I do know is the moon is much, much smaller than that. I don't know the mileage, but I know it's much smaller. And in that perspective, the moon completely covers the sun. Yeah. The small thing covers the huge thing. And just if you're looking at it in just the right place. And so how many times do we do that with God? How many times do we do. He is the immovable sun. He is the island. And we are on the canoe.

Yeah.

So we're going around in the canoe, and the waves are going, the wind is blowing. Sometimes it gets foggy, and we're going, God, where are you?

Yeah.

Oh, he's right there. He's always been right there. It's us that we drift back and forth. So we need to find ways to anchor ourselves to that island. And so there's. There's a lot of ways I could do this. I mean, spiritual disciplines are such a key thing. First, Timothy4.7 says, Train yourself for godliness.

Yeah.

Discipline. In some translations, discipline yourself. So as men that are used to that word, training, discipline, we could latch onto that and go, yeah, The Bible says that we are. We're sanctified in several ways. We're sanctified by, you know, iron sharpens iron. That's what you and I are doing right now. Other people, communication. We're also sanctified by circumstances. That's Romans 8, 28. Things that happen to us. That's the forging. God forging us through circumstances, pain, suffering, loss. But the third one is our own self discipline, our own spiritual discipline. Train yourself for godliness. That's what we actually can control. When we're in that canoe and there's a, it's foggy and there's waves and he's the island. There's ways we could drop an anchor to hang on to that island and, and one of them is finding a good local body look good local church that we could be a part of as a, as a family. Another one is what we're doing right now, finding, seeking out other men or women that are, that are biblically grounded that we could. Hey, man, you grab some coffee, man. I'm struggling with some things I want to talk about some things which wise.

Counsel, specifically men loved ice.

It is. Yeah, it is. And then, and then reading the Word, which is the most neglected and probably the most important, it's like, all right, God, I'm going to pull out this Bible. I'm going to dust off the top of it. Haven't touched it in a long time, but I'm going to start, I'm going to read it because there have been men before me for generation after generation that have done this and it has mattered to them. But God, I'm going to read it. I'm going to start in a good starting place like Matthew 1, birth of Christ.

Yeah.

I'm going to start reading. I'm going to read slowly. I'm going to read. I'm not going to take on big chunks. I'm just going to read a few paragraphs, maybe a few pages, maybe a chapter. And I'm going to work through this and let that Word just pour over me. Because the Bible says that the Word is living and active, sharper than any two edged sword, piercing to the division of joints and of marrow, soul and of spirit, and discerning the intentions of the heart.

Yeah.

So. And the Bible also says that all scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction and for training in righteousness. And then it says, so that the man of God may be complete.

Yeah.

Equipped for every good work. So in the training, we're, we're made complete and equipped through that book, through the Bible. And if we're neglecting that, then we're just nothing more than a, a little boat bouncing around in a, in a storm trying to get to the island.

Yeah, I know. My, my grandfather was my spiritual mentor. He, you know, one thing I love about him is when I was going through My toughest stuff, I was getting judged by a lot of people that actually kept me from God, you know, our. Our friends in the. In Christianity itself. And I never forget this.

Oh, yeah.

He always loved me back. He said, start. He always. You have to be willing to dig past the answers that you want, like, to really open yourself up to truth. And then he said, I want you to start with what. What I call the 10 for 10. I'm like, okay, well, what's the 10 for 10? He said, the 10 for 10 is 10 verses a day, and then just stop. So 10 verses a day. And he said. And he said, this is something he. His big. One of his big pastors he loved before he passed away was Pastor Hagee, John Hagee out of Texas. And he said, pastor John Hagee says that the Bible is the only book on the planet that as you read it, it reads you. And that always stuck with me because I can. If I was to open up the Bible right now, which is sitting right here, which is actually technically. It's technically open, I always leave it open because, I don't know, it's kind of like I want to make sure the words are floating in the air or something. But, you know, but when I go. But. But if I was it right now and go back to scriptures I've already read, I've already outlined or highlighted or made notes in the margins and all of that, if I go back, it'll say something different. It'll mean something different right now, as it did, you know, a month ago, a week ago, a day ago, or three days, you know, that kind of thing. And, yeah, I think there is a lot of truth in the Bible Will read. Will read you as you read it. And then I think there's a lot in slowing it down. Like you mentioned before, I know when I first was come into faith, and this is a lot, you know, almost two decades ago now, but I just wanted to. They said, well, you need to read your Bible. So I thought I would read it like a book. Like, you start at the beginning and you read it all the way through. I didn't realize that the end technically testifies at the beginning. The beginning testifies at the end. Like, I didn't realize it was all, like, intertwined and all this kind of stuff, and it was like a giant onion, and you pull a layer back, and there'd be something under there. And I don't know, there's a. There's a. There's a really cool conceptual.

Truth that comes from each of Those verses in different respects. So. But if someone's going to go to, let's say they're in the middle of the heat right now, do you send them to, you know, if you're going to counsel them right now, are you sending them the psalms? Are you sending them to Proverbs? Because, you know, there's certain places in the, in the Bible that I go to for certain seasons of life. And I was curious if you have a similar formula that you follow.

Yeah. So this, this is reminding me that the danger sometimes of what I. When I talk like this, the danger is that, is that this could be a heresy, that people start believing that they need to do something to get approved by God. Yeah. And you made me think of it when you said your friends that are judgmental and Christians are hypocrites, but we're also just the ones that know that we are. And in fact, everyone is a hypocrite in the world. But Christians hopefully are able to at least admit they're hypocrites and people will be judgmental and they will be to the degree of how well they know their Savior, who in the epitome of his saving, he's being crucified on the cross, saying, father, forgive them, they know not what they do. So the closer you get to understanding the degree that you understand the epitome of the faith, the less and less you judge others and the more you understand that it is by grace we are saved. And so it's so important to remind people that in the Christian faith, we've never believed that it is something you can do, including reading the Bible or going to church or praying. It is anything you could do to be reconciled with God, because that is done through Jesus.

Yeah.

Who? God. God made a law. God made the universe and it was perfect and it was good.

Yeah.

Man rebelled against that. Yeah. They put gasoline in the. In the power stroke instead of diesel.

Yeah.

And so God, knowing that no one could live up to his law of perfection, then he entered his own creation as man, as Jesus, living out that law perfectly, and then going to the cross and becoming the substitute, taking on sin himself so that we could be reconciled to God. So it is only belief in him by his grace that we have any standing with God. It's nothing we do. It's no systematic thing that we, you know, habit that we put into place. But it's after we understand that.

Yeah.

The overflow from that makes us want to know him more. It makes us want to seek Him. And so to the Person that's. That's hurting there. There is no silver bullet to that of where to go. Because I've heard enough stories to fill up this entire show of people going to different. Different places and the Bible speaking to them. I would say in my. My specific case, which is not necessarily right, it's just what happened to me. I started in Matthew at the birth of Christ because I wanted to know who Jesus is at the very beginning.

Yeah.

And so it's. You know, it starts with his birth, and then it goes into his ministry, and it goes into that Gospel story I said on the cross. So I wanted to hear the story that. I heard it in Sunday school when I was a little boy, but I wanted to see it and read it. And so for me, that was to go to place, because you could go to the Psalms, which is great, and Proverbs, which is great, and understanding circumstances, but until you know who Jesus is and what he did. Yeah, you need to look through that lens and then look at the Psalms from there.

Yeah, I think it's really wise advice. And I say that because a lot of what I see in bad behavior in Christians or in the public comes from a place of not doing what Jesus asked us to do, which is follow him, get to know him, love one another as I have loved you. And to the judgment piece. One of the things the scripture always comes back to my mind is obviously he's drawing a line in the sand and he says, all right, who's gonna be the first one to throw a rock? Everybody drops a rock, and he looks down and he calls this girl daughter. Daughter.

Yeah.

Where are your members? There are none, Lord. Okay, arise, go and send. No more like. And I find that that conception or that. That. That that instance is a telltale sign for me for what Jesus wants us to do in the. In the service of other people. The question I'm going to ask you next is, is it the service of others? And. And please come. I'm asking from that perspective, from. From that heart. The. There's a lot of marriages that have a really hard time when tragedy occurs. The divorce rate is incredibly high. When a massive life reversal, a loss of a child, a loss of a father, a mother, stuff like that, you and your wife managed to not only just keep. Continue to build and thrive. I'm sure that was a difficult season. Can you offer any advice to couples that are facing very difficult tragedy circumstances right now to help them unify and kind of like just kind of really weather the storm together and get onto you know, a. More of a blessed place.

Yeah. You know, just knowing that is huge. Knowing the statistic, whenever we say. You know, most of us, when we get married, we. We say those traditional vows of, you know, for better or for worse. Yeah. Thickness. And in health. Yeah. You know, richer or poor, we say those things. But I don't know if we really mean that.

What we.

What we really mean is because of our selfish hearts, me included. We mean, I'll love you until it stops benefiting me. Yeah. That's. That's what we. That. That's what it means deep down inside of us until we fight against that. And so, man, first of all, everything we've talked about, every single thing we've said so far on the show, I didn't understand. I didn't grasp that back in. In the. When I was at ground zero of losing my son.

Yeah.

This is all in hindsight and what I've learned since then, coming through that. So at the very beginning, everything. It just has to be God's grace, because I was. I'm just not capable of not being stupid and stubborn and. But when this first happened, I remember being at the hospital, and that doctor came and said, there's no chance of survival. He's not going to make it. We need to know from you two when to unplug the machine.

So we decided to take a walk, and we went out to this little serenity garden in the hospital, my wife and I, and we're going to decide. That was where we're going to talk about when to unplug it and kind of to, you know, talk about how we're going to say goodbye and to each other. It just kind of occurred to me in that moment that what you said, that statistic. We're probably not going to make it. Yeah. You know, the odds are the world. Odds are against us. And so I told Amber right then. I just said, probably that most unromantic conversation ever. I said, let's make a deal. We're going to stay together.

Like, let's shake on it right now. Yeah. Let's do this for our family, for our kids. Yeah. We separate. It's gonna. It's gonna just make one, you know, one more thing piled on for the kids to have to deal with. Yeah. Let's make an agreement right here. Right here in this garden. Let's. Let's stay together. And she was like, agreed. Like I said, it's like the most unromantic moment, but it's so real.

Like, you know, the. The Young lady I've been seeing now for probably six or seven months now.

Early on, because, you know, we're. You know, I'm almost 50 now, and, you know, so I've been. I've had some life and been through some things. Yeah. And as a result, you know, we have a term that we use. We don't use it as interchangeably as I love you, but we use it. We use it when it's important, which is I choose you. And we even use the words I choose you when things are hard. And I think I choose you when things are hard is the. Is the linchpin that makes it beautiful again. Does that make sense?

That's fantastic, man. I think that's great, because it has to be a decision. And saying I choose you means I'm deciding to be with you, to love you. I'm deciding to love you. That's what I choose you means. That's what I'm hearing. And that's what we had to do in that serenity garden. Hey, I don't feel like loving anyone right now. In that serenity garden. Yeah. I don't. I don't feel like any. I don't feel like going on a date with you. I don't feel like calling you beautiful right now. I don't. All that stuff is out the window. So instead I'm saying I'm gonna say right now, I choose you. I make a decision to be with you.

Yeah.

And that.

You know, that has worked. And I've said that story a lot to couples who. Who we. Without knowing it. Everyone does this in sincere ways. Like, no one gets married and intends to have divorce. Even though it happens all the time. It just. But. But so many times. And I'm guilty. Just as guilty as anybody. I think it comes down to I want to love you until it stops benefiting me.

Yeah.

Because we're human.

Yeah.

And we. That's what we do. When we get hungry, we want to eat. Right now. Yeah. You know, when. When we get tired, we go to sleep right now. And when we want love, we want love to benefit us right now. And we have to fight against that current. Sometimes it takes a long time for guys like me to really learn that.

Yeah, me too. Me too. Like I said, I think it's funny. They always say you learn more from your quote unquote failures than you do from anything else. Far more than your successes and.

Absolutely, bro. When people. When men stand up and hold up that super bowl trophy. Yeah. And they cry.

Yeah.

Why are they crying? I always wonder, why are they crying? They're not crying because everything was good leading up to that moment. Yeah. They're crying because of the failure, because of the injuries, because of the lost games, because of the overtime victories, because.

Of the two it is in family.

And all the loss of time, all of the sacrifices. And they hold it up and they say, we did it.

Yeah.

Not because it was easy, but because it was hard. I weep because it was hard.

Yeah. No. Which I love. You know, in our last few minutes left, I got a couple, couple last following questions for you, the first of which I think was really cool.

That you went out, wrote a children's book, Upward Delight. And I love the, I love the way in which it's positioned. I'm just curious, did God give you divine insight on that, that need? Because, you know, there's not a lot of, at least not in my knowledge, not a lot of books written on grief and dealing with loss and stuff from a child's perspective. You know what, what, what, what was speaking in your heart that made that so important to you and made it want to get you out the marketplace?

Well, I had to raise two kids after they lost their youngest brother. And, you know, I, I learned that it just opening the door of conversation was so key with them.

Yeah.

Just how do you start that, how do you start a conversation of how are you feeling? Are you thinking about your brother? Are you thinking about river, how you know, everything? Okay. How do you start those things? And, and so this book is. It's really a. It starts off, it's just a normal kids book, but it's going to open a door for a conversation with a mother, a father or grandparent as they're reading to the, to the young one. And that's the goal really is, let's talk about this. Let's talk about our feelings. And there is not a wrong feeling in grief.

Yeah.

Especially with children, there's not a wrong thing they can say. And so I think that's what this book is to me.

Yeah. No, and I just, again, I think it's such an important message and I want to encourage everybody go grab it. I know it just recently came out and excited about that for you. I'm sure it'll be another hit book, but I know that that's not important to you. I know what's important to you is that book. It's in the right hands of the right people who need it right now. And so everybody listening and watching, if you know somebody's going through a Tough time. And they need to have a. Have that conversation with their children as they're trying to also deal with grief and sacrifice and suffering a little bit. I want to encourage everybody. Go grab that book right now. Upward Delight. Granger Smith. You got to grab it. Go get it. My final question is a bit more uplifting because we've been talking about hard stuff pretty much the entire conversation. And I'll start with a just a quick story. So about seven years ago, two of my boys who are now one's graduating college, one is already married and developing his life out in Charlotte, North Carolina. Both were awesome boys, but they were in a put them in a Christian private school during the majority of their, you know, from like 12 on up to adulthood. And this one afternoon, this is like four or five years ago, they come home and they're like, ye ye bo ye like running around saying yi yi all the time. So you have to tell me because it seems like you created this yi yi phenomenon. What is a yee lifestyle?

Oh, man, it's living life to the fullest, really. That's. That's what we've said forever. Yeah. Earl Diblis Jr. Alter ego started that. It was a video that went viral. We've been chasing it. So now it's a. It's a lifestyle brand. I run with me and my two brothers called Y and we love it. Yeah.

Well, I don't know if I can thank you or maybe one just want to give you a hug, have a conversation. But dude, no, seriously, man. Well, look, man, I love having you on the show and you're fast brother to me. Love you, man. And I appreciate you coming on and sharing your heart the way you did and being so authentic and vulnerable, which is only you do. So that's all I've ever can see you online and which. That's how you roll, which is fantastic. But in closing out, I know everybody can find you pretty much anywhere, but where would you send them right now to get more?

Probably Granger Smith.com or any of my socials. It's all Granger Smith.

Love you, man. Dude, thank you so much.

Love you, bro. I choose you.

I choose you back, bro. Make it yee for the rest of our lives.

That's right. Ye.

All right, man.

You too. Thank you.

I hope you liked that video. And if you did, make sure you check out this next video right here. Here's my thing with imposter syndrome number one. It's a super popular hashtag type thing that everyone wants to be like, I have it. Therefore, I can't do this. Therefore, you know. So I think it is one of those really scary umbrellas to put yourself under.