How Changing Your Story Can Change Your Life | Kindra Hall

What stories can I tell myself when presented with an event that will lead me to the action that I know I need to take in order to get the results and create the life that I want? Those stories that you choose to tell yourself in that moment will dictate the actions you take and what your life becomes.

I've been looking forward to this for a long time. The reality is, I've discovered that people are. Are stuck more than anything else because of the stories that we tell themselves. And lo and behold, I dug into your new book, and I'm totally digging it, totally vibing it, and I thought we could start there because you talk a lot about story there.

So help us out. Yeah, so, I mean, well, we are humans, right? Like, anyone listening to the show is a human. And humans are programmed to tell stories, to hear stories. This is how we process the world. This is one of the things that is credited to our species evolving to where we are, is that we could. We could take our experiences, our experiences, our stories, and share them forward. And so then we could advise each other and grow as. As humankind. And so. And we often think about storytelling in the stories that we tell Outwardly, the stories we tell. You always think about the stories you tell at a campfire, the stories you tell at bedtime or at happy hour. But there is. There's another form of story that happens on regular basis. I mean, more times than we can count in any given day. And that is the stories we tell ourselves, where we essentially do the same thing that humans have been doing all along, which is collecting and curating our life's experiences. But we store them and we hold them, and we subconsciously play those stories back to ourselves to, again, make sense of the world, our place in it, what we believe we can and cannot do. And really, that's. So we know that that's happening, then that's the key to unlocking a lot of potential in each of us.

Yeah. No, that's awesome. You know, one of the things that dawned on me as I was kind of reading through the book was this essence of the character that we play in the story. Like. Like, who are we? Are we the villain? Are we the good guy? The bad guy?

Are we the cast?

Are like. Or are we watching it like a narrator? All that kind of stuff. And I wanted you to speak to that a little bit because I feel like there's. There's a lot of insight there that can add a lot of value to anybody's life, because a lot of times, like you were Just mentioning, like, there's this element of you're constantly judging yourself based on the story that you're telling yourself.

Yeah. And I think it's so much of what I really wanted to give people here, without really necessarily saying it explicitly, is the value of self awareness. So self awareness, as you said, of, like, what character are we playing in this story? And to take it to another level, what if we were to play a different character? What if we were to see our role, our place in this story from a slightly different angle? Would it turn a story that we use as that makes us a victim, that makes us feel like we're less than. I mean, so many of those stories, we can shift ever so slightly and see those stories as moments of strength, of moments of what we overcame. And then when we retell ourselves, retell ourselves those stories from that perspective, there's a lot we can do with that material. And I would argue that some of the most successful people that I've ever encountered, that I've ever met are people who without really. They didn't put these words to it, but that they were very conscientious about the stories that happened to them and how they chose to see themselves in. In that story, and they chose to see themselves in an empowering light, which then allowed them to act from an empowered place.

Yeah. No, that's so good. You know, it's one of the things that dawned on me when I was reading to the book. There's this element of this framework, of this formula that you kind of came up with, like the event response, like, break that down a little bit, because I feel like that kind of plays right into learning to be self aware, learning to be, I guess, a proponent of how you're viewing or telling your story.

Yeah, it really is. So. And I wanted. This was something that was really important to me, is for this to not be. I mean, how many of us have stacks and stacks of personal development books that are like, hey, just think positive or change your mindset, you know, and all of them, you finish reading and maybe you felt good while you were reading it, but weren't able to do anything with it. I really wanted people to be able to walk away from this with something that they could do. And this, what you mentioned right here. And I'm okay with giving it a. Giving it away. So we'll give this.

It's a highlighter book. There's money there.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So lots of notes in the margins or, you know, get it on audible and take notes on a Piece of paper in a journal. But this is really where it all begins and where you can see that there is an action you can take here to truly make a difference. And so we often think that our lives happen in this very linear fashion, which isn't exactly false, but that there's an event. We react or we take action and that leads to a certain result. And then, of course, over time, those results compound and we get our life. And those events could be even like decisions that we need to make. Maybe it's, you know, if you're just starting a business, maybe it's putting yourself out there, pitching to the local paper, cold calling a client, or reaching back out to, you know, someone you met at a networking event and re talking to them about what you offer. So that event, the action we take, it gets us our result, which is not untrue. However, there is this tiny, almost imperceptible slice of time that happens right between the action we take and the event, or if I were to do it in the order we've been discussing, like the decision to be made and the action we take, the event and the action, and that slice of time is where our stories occur. Now, most often these stories are subconscious, and most often because of the way that humans are programmed, these stories are negative. It's, oh, well, you don't want to bother them because you're always a bother. So don't reach out to them right now because you'll bother them. Or don't reach out to them because you don't have everything perfect. You don't know exactly what to say. So you should wait to reach out to them till you know exactly what to say. And so what action does that lead to? Inaction, in many cases. And then we wonder. We wonder why we are stuck. So if we were to just. And again, this happens on autopilot. And you can let it remain on autopilot and move slowly along the course of your life or stay right where you are if you're feeling really stuck. Or you can take back control of that slice of time. And this is where the book really comes in, is okay, these are the results I want to get, which is going to require this. This action. What stories can I tell myself when presented with an event that will lead me to the action that I know I need to take in order to get the results and create the life that I want? Those stories that you choose to tell yourself in that moment will dictate the actions you take and what your life becomes. And so becoming really Aware, as you said, in that moment of wait, why am I telling myself the story that I suck, or the story that I don't have enough experience, or the story of the time where I made a mistake because of my, you know, years ago and I'm still telling myself that even a decade later that I don't have the experience I need. Why am I telling myself those stories? Why not tell myself this set of stories that makes me feel good and powerful and leads to the action I want to take?

Yeah, well, you know, you're. I want to maybe try to break it down a little bit this way because I. One of the things I loved about the book is you said that most of these stories are kind of invisible.

Yeah.

They're the story within the story that you're not really paying attention to. Right. And I am curious. I mean, you're an incredibly successful speaker, one of the world class, like top notch stage performers in the world. You're incredibly gifted author, incredibly gifted in your profession, family life, the whole deal. What are some of those types of stories within the stories that you've had to overcome yourself to get yourself to the level that you currently are at?

Yeah, yeah. I mean it is. And I will say I would love for it to be that I wrote this book because I had it all figured out. That's simply not the case. I. All of us, we encounter these, these stopping points and maybe we, maybe we experience a.

Period of growth where we're just like. Where it feels like it's just all. Or is. Who is it, Matthew McConaughey says, where it's just all green lights. But eventually, as you read, as you bumping up against your belief limit, you will start bumping into some of those stories. So. So I've had a whole variety of stories that I've had to work through. Some I've pretty much overcome. So I, for a long time I really struggled with fear of public speaking, which sounds crazy because it does sound.

Crazy because I've not seen her on stage. I mean, really.

This is what I do. Like, this is what I mean. I have been speaking since I was a child and yet be like, you know those moments right behind the curtain right before you go out, or even in the hours or even days or sometimes weeks, depending on the nature of the event. All of a sudden these stories would be going in my head that said, you're not good enough. You don't have what it takes. This doesn't. And really where they were all coming from is stories of feeling like Storytelling is silly because that's my expertise. That's what I'm talking to people about. And I had the story of the time where I told a friend who I respected, I quit my job. I said, I'm going to teach people in business storytelling. And she said, who's. And I had. I was launching this, like, program that had DVD. This is back when I had DVDs. I was so.

DVDs.

DVDs. I know. I was also updated my MySpace profile. But I had worked. I had invested all this time and all this energy, all this hope, right? This was going to be my ticket out. And I told this friend who I really respect, that that's what I was doing. I quit my job to teach people storytelling. She. She looked at. At that point, all the DVDs were, like, laying out on the kitchen table. And she said, but who will buy this, right? And so. And so. So it was like one of. I mean, there's been all these points in my life where it was like, well, storytelling is just kind of a hobby. It's a silly thing. Like, that's not a real thing. So those stories, and they'd be really specific moments. I remember the color of that hideous kitchen table that my DVDs were all laid out on, right? I can remember. It's so clearly. And so those were the stories that subconsciously, I know now when I break it down, when I ask myself what was causing this feeling, what was giving me such anxiety and fear. It was all of these moments that my subconscious had collected. And so what it did now, ultimately, I would get out on a stage and I would be in my zone and I would do a great job. But these stories were making me miserable. Like, I hated my life. I hated doing a job that I loved and that I'm really, really good at. And I hated it because my stories were making me miserable. And so that was a really important story. That was a really important limiting belief or thorn in my side or place of being stuck that I had to work on and find stories that I could tell myself that would silence. Well, that's the subtitle of the book, Silence the Inner Critic. So that I could. I could breathe, like, I could enjoy the thing that I'm really good at. So that was just one. And these stories, they appear in all areas of our life. They're there in relationships and dating and marriage and relationships with your siblings. They're there for our money. Like how I just had an epiphany just this morning about money stories. It's Too raw. I can't tell you. It's too. It's too raw.

There's the cliffhanger thing. That's also in the book.

But we have. These are about our health and well being. We are bumping up against stories all the time. And the better each of us can get at recognizing. Oh, my gosh, I'm bumping up against some old stories here. What stories could I tell myself to get past it? The better off we'll be.

Yeah, well, I want to kind of. I want to hit this from two different, separate angles. I think, first of all, I think you actually just. You just brought it up. So it kind of triggers my mind, which is the moment in which the negative story that we're telling ourselves now has confirmation bias through a friend. How do we push ourselves past that moment where we lean into the new story rather than just reconfirming the old story just because somebody know we know. Love and trust is telling us that.

Yeah, I think that that is.

One of the hardest things. One of the hardest things about it because. And the reality is sometimes the negative stories that are holding us back, it's not that they're untrue. Right. It's not that it isn't real. It's not that you didn't make a mistake and lose a sale or, you know, whatever it is. We can't. And that's why the book isn't change your story, change your life. It's choose your story. Because just as there are these negative stories or a friend or a family member, I just actually had a. I. My mother was in town. So here's a story. And life is busy. It's full, it's wonderful. We are running on all cylinders. You know, my husband and I live in New York City. We have our two kids. They're doing all. I mean, we are in.

New York's back open again.

New York is so open. So now, on top of it, we're not just, like, sitting at home. There are shows to go to and restaurants to eat at. And so it's all of this. And it is a big, beautiful, very busy life. And my mother was in town, and my mother is retired. She and my father live at our cabin. They've made it their summer home. Right. Like, they have things going on. But her life now and my life now and even my life compared to her life when she was in this phase of life look very different. And she started saying things. She started questioning if maybe I was. We were pushing our limits. Were we too frazzled was this. And she was bringing up old stories that I know of when I've pushed myself too hard and then I got really sick or when I. And, and these are, these are stories that again, are not untrue and they live within me. And sometimes I wonder, I find myself bumping up against. Am I doing too much? Am I pushing myself too hard? Am I right? And there are things that are like, maybe I shouldn't say yes to this. Maybe I should pull my ambitions back.

And then it took me a moment. It gave me this really funky feeling though. And that again goes into the awareness. I suddenly just felt, yuck. I was like, something isn't right here. And that's another indicator that there are conflicting stories.

And what I realized was she didn't, she knew the stories from when I was in elementary school and high school and because she was my mom, she does not see the stories that happen on a daily basis. She doesn't see the things that I say no to. She doesn't see the very specific decision making process that my husband and I have or for what is best for our family. Right. Like she, she is missing a lot of stories. So it really comes down to. Back to that original question is when you're getting confirmation of maybe some of the negative stories or beliefs that you have is to be, is to be really intentional about going back and seeking out the stories that prove that that is no longer true or the stories that support the, the belief that you want to hold and then retell them to yourself if no one else. But then for me, in that situation with my mother, I went back and told my mother those stories because I needed her. She is an important person in my life. I needed her to update her stories about me as well so I didn't have to constantly be coming into this conflict with the two of us in those stories.

Yeah, no, I think that's interesting. I also think it's, it is one of those moments where you get to choose the story, right. I was just thinking to myself, okay, well, I had similar moments with, with my, with my dad in life, right. So I'm, I'm the black sheep of the family. Went out and built stuff, right. But in, in doing so, I also angered and frustrated a lot of family members who didn't want to take the steps that I was going to have to take in order to get to the places which I wanted to get to. Not to mention the, the, the inside stories I was already telling myself about. Well, maybe they're right. Maybe they're like this.

Absolutely.

And it dawned on me that when I was breaking free from homelessness, one of the interesting stories that I had was I had evidence supporting all the bad stuff. But then I said, do I want this to be my story moving forward? Do I want this to be my life? Do I want this to be my next step? And I, for the life of me, I couldn't come up with any reason why it should continue.

Yeah.

So then it became, okay, what do I need to know, just as a mentor would do with a guide in a story to get myself out of this position?

Well, and reinforcing, like searching back through. And there's a misconception that, like, if you're in a, if you're in a big.

Dark story, negative story, that you need a story that is equally as light to get you out of that dark place. And that actually isn't the case.

One step.

It can be very small stories that you can, you know, maybe it's, oh, this good thing happened. This was progress. Hold on to that story, Retell it to yourself, oh, this small thing happened. Hang on to that. You know, if it's, if it's a relationship thing and I can't trust anybody and there's nobody, you know, I'm completely unlovable. Think about the, think about the gas station attendant who always knows you by name and is excited to see. Like, that matters. That story matters as we rebuild. So it doesn't have to be a big good story. It can be lots of little good stories that add up to the belief that will in turn lead to the action you want. Yep.

Yeah. I mean, the reality is most of the major things in your life happen because of micro steps. Right?

Absolutely.

So the other, other way I want to hit this is something I really took away from the book that I loved much, which is that your excuses come along with well dressed. Right. They're well dressed excuses or they're, they're, they're, they're in an environment that make themselves seem appealing.

Yeah.

Like, how do we break free from that, from that massive excuse machine? I'm that guy. Like, I like to make excuses for myself.

It is, it's really.

It'S sometimes it's hard. That's one of the harder ones to break free from because they are not, they're not just well dressed. They are like dressed to the nines. And they sound good when you say them. They sound good to yourself. They sound good to other people. And so they are really allowed to run around with free rein. But Ultimately, it's one of those things where. And I find that these well dressed experience excuses when they reveal themselves for what they really are, it's one of those hits you like a ton of bricks kind of thing. And it kind of like all of a sudden just comes out of nowhere and you'll be like, oh my gosh, that's, that's what this is. Because this belief that you have this well dressed excuse is actually keeping you from where you really want to go. So. So one of the, one of the excuses that I heard a lot as I was doing the research for this book was around health and wellbeing. So somebody who had particular weight loss goals and would say the one woman was like, but I love my body, you know, I love my body. I love my body no matter what my body looks like. Which sounds great and it is really good to love your body. But what she finally realized was that was allow was giving her permission to do things to her body that didn't make her body feel good. Right? It was, oh, I can eat this whole pizza. I can order the, you know, the five different desserts and kind of eat all of them. It's. Oh, so it was a really. But it sounds good, right? And these are all very, I mean there's some that go, you know, that I'm sure, I'm sure you probably heard that well dressed excuse from someone or maybe you yourself have said it.

And then that can be also very personal. I discovered one not long ago that was, oh, I like to be.

It had a couple of different facets to it, but I like being underestimated. Oh, I like being underestimated. I like walking into a room and having people think that I'm not going to be great or that, you know. And then I realized that what that well dressed, you know, cause it's like, oh, and then I can come out and really show them. But what I realized that well dressed excuse was doing to me was putting all the onus of greatness on the other person to discover.

My greatness. And then it meant that I didn't have to fully show up in my greatness. I just got to sit back and let it be discovered. Which, you know, it's good to be humble, it's good to. There's aspects of it. But I realized that I was using that as an excuse to keep playing small. Now what to do about that, I haven't exactly figured that out.

But yeah, the well dressed excuses, those are tricky. And so anytime you feel yourself saying something and you can feel that dissonance within yourself. You're saying something and it sounds good, but you know, it's actually keeping you from what you really want. That's an opportunity to see if it's actually a well dressed excuse.

Yeah, I know. It's interesting to me that so much comes down to that, that moment of immediate self awareness. Like you're going about your day. Here's an opportunity that stands up before you for the first time. Maybe you meet somebody at the gas station that can, you know, help you get on the bestseller list or whatever.

Yeah.

Amazing contact. Right. And you don't really know in that moment that you should choose a story or like you're in the autopilot phase.

Yeah.

What have you done? Or what could you encourage us with to help us get out of autopilot so we can become more self aware to even start your process? Because the process itself that you outlined in the book is brilliant. But I find the trickiest step is the very, very first one. Right.

Yep, exactly. The very first step is to catch these stories that don't serve you in the act. To catch that you're. That you're telling yourself some negative stories. So what I would recommend, like the very first thing you could do is to be listening to yourself. So maybe set, you know, on your. Like on my watch, it tells me to stand up if I.

Know, but breathe. But it makes me so annoy. And now I've got the ring too. That's like, oh, you should stretch your legs. So at any given moment I'm getting all these like dings and zaps to do different things, but you can use those. Or if you want to, you can set an alarm on your phone as little moments of awareness to say to yourself, what story am I telling myself right now? Or to notice moments in your day when. So moments in your day where you talk to yourself a lot. So if you have a commute. We often talk to ourselves on our commute. If you're a runner now, I like to go. I go to spin class and I don't usually tell myself many stories in spin class because I'm focused on the music. But when I run, I tell myself a lot of stories. I have entire conversations in my head that I'm only vaguely aware of. But pushing the pause button and actually tuning in, I know for me in the morning in the shower is when I can start. It's like, oh, wait, wait, I've got this to do. I've got this to do. I've got. And that's where some of the stories about what I'm capable of during a day can come up. So just throughout your day to find those moments where your brain has the opportunity where it's talking and you could stop and actually listen to it. I would also recommend.

Because.

We have the same ones come up over and over again. And so when you find yourself in that feeling of feeling stressed, you know, feeling anxious about something, chances are there's a story there. And chances are it's a story that is on repeat. And so having a few, knowing what those, knowing what those stories are that are holding you back and then having a few in your back pocket, good ones that you can tell yourself almost as instant antidotes. So if it's, oh, I'm not, I'm not smart enough. And it happens anytime you're invited to a meeting, right before you walk into that meeting, have the stories that show that the brain power you have is adequate or stories that show that you actually are smart or you know, whatever it is so that you're. You come in equipped and ready.

Yeah, no, it's funny, it took me back to this one back when I, I like everybody else was on Clubhouse for a while.

Not me, I will say I was like, you never did it. I never did. Everyone's like, you got to get on Clubhouse. And I was like, I just don't discovered it.

It burned up too much of my day. Three hours and one no see, I could have more productive than this.

I could have told you that. Uh huh.

Yeah. But one of the guys that popped on, he was talking about, you know, hey look, I'm. I've been invited to this, this amazing program, private retreat, private mastermind with you know, people in nine figure categories and up that I'm, he's. I don't know what I'm doing there. I'm thinking to myself, dude, you got invited. Just show up.

Right?

Like just, I mean. And it kind of dawned on that. Now I will say that one of the things that's helped me kind of become more aware in my stories is actually my spouse. Right. My spouse sees different things that I don't see about myself. Gifts, talent, strength, struggles, all of that.

Absolutely.

So how do we, how do we open up to our spouse or our significant other about giving them permission to help us change our stories.

Yeah, I think that this is a really essential piece to success in this. And a lot of the people that were part of the research had either spouses, partners, or a confidant who was really close to them that they would just happen to share their experience and.

Knowing, to reach out, knowing that we do not see ourselves clearly. It's something that my mother has always said to me, which is so funny because at first I was talking about these detrimental stories that my mother was telling me. But on the flip side, but my mom is definitely one of those people that I go to when I am feeling less than or that was a classic example of imposter syndrome. The person that you were just mentioning going to that retreat. And I can say to her, you know what I really need? I need some stories that remind me that I was born to do this. And she will, she will tell stories back to me if they things that I had forgotten or that were just kind of buried way back in there. Same with my, same with my spouse. And so once you, once you read the book, once you wrap your head and you acquire this vocabulary, I guess of understanding this through a story lens, it will equip you to better be able to help or ask for help because that is, that is a, that is a big key to this success is asking someone who can see you, who sees you in a different light for to tell stories back to you. And it sounds so selfish. It sounds so like self serving and it is like it's supposed to be, but we all need, we all need that help. And then at some point, you know, now it's automatic between for my husband and I because we both speak this story language where I can see that he's struggling with something and I can tell him back to stories and, and this isn't just, no, you're really good at this or oh, you're so smart. I say, remember that time last year when so and so and so and so we're doing this and you actually did that, you know, like very specific into the moment. But as you get going, definitely ask for help.

Yeah. Now choose your story. Change your life. I think one of the, one of the things that it does so, so well is help teach you how to become aware and, or set the intention right. I've discovered that when I can figure out the intention behind why I'm doing what I'm doing, that all of a sudden the what I'm doing begins to change to the why I should be doing it correctly. Does that make sense?

Yeah, definitely. Yep. Yep. Well, and it's, it's about, and I think in the exercise of self awareness there, there is an element of compassion. Like no wonder I. Like one of the one that I said is too raw Today was a money story. And I remembered an old, I remembered some old stories growing up about money and the way our family saw money and the way money was like programmed into me and our relationship with it. And just revisiting those stories, I was like, because I know the way that I'm thinking right now is not serving me, but instead of beating myself up about it, I can say, oh my gosh, no wonder, no wonder these are the stories that I'm made of. Like, no wonder I see it this way. So just that aspect of own personal compassion.

Is a really powerful byproduct of this. And then of course, compassion for other people to say, to know that any person you're talking to is a combination of the stories they're telling themselves. And if they haven't read the book, they may not know that that's really what's happening. Now I will say you cannot say to someone you need to choose a better story, like in an way, because especially if there's someone who knows who's already on this train because it's really like we don't. Like, I know I need to find a better. It's. I just, I need time to be able to do it. So don't use it as a weapon. But yeah, there's, there's some power there.

Is it okay to. When you go to choose your, your new story, is it okay to envision the story that maybe you haven't experienced yet?

Um, that is a little bit risky just because.

It'S actually when I outline the different options for choosing your story, it's the one I mentioned last because it's the one most vulnerable to inner critic, right? Who's like, yeah, but that hasn't happened. But that hasn't happened yet. But that didn't actually it's saying to you that's fiction. Whereas any of the others where you're choosing different stories from your past or for example, your friend who is feeling really self conscious or heavy dose of imposter syndrome with going to this retreat. These are people that that person admires and respects and they invited this person so to even tell yourself stories about these nine figure earners that reinforce the admiration and respect you have for them and their decision making, which then can, it can validate their decision to have you there because you can write. But when you're creating fiction, because even your inner critic can't argue with those truths about those people, in which case they could still think the same, they could think the same thing about you. Right? They make good decisions they chose to have you here. It's where you get into the fictionalization that you're just a little bit more vulnerable. However, if you get very specific and in the book I outline a different way to do, to do that.

It can work. I mean, of course, visualization, I mean, I'm sure you have your instances of things that you visualized and they came true and took a lot longer than.

I thought they would.

Yeah, yeah. But they're just, those stories are more vulnerable and so I wouldn't recommend starting there.

Yeah, no, that's good. That's good feedback, you know. Cause I think a lot of us.

Especially aspiring entrepreneurs, early stage entrepreneurs, we're always chasing the nine figure exit.

Yeah.

The billion dollar business, like all the stuff. Meanwhile, we have a, we have a business to run, we have people we have to lead, we got team members that need to be encouraged, we got products that have to go out, systems that have to be built. And if we get too focused on the long range, that we, we can't actually do the things that create the long range.

Yep, exactly. And to get to the long range.

And this is a challenge I see with entrepreneur. And speaking for myself, I'm an entrepreneur with the entrepreneur mindset of always looking ahead. Always looking ahead. Always looking ahead is by nature, then we completely gloss over and we miss the positive valuable stories of the successes that we've experienced thus far. And so then we miss key story opportunities that we can retell to ourselves that say, oh, wait, no, in that first phase of my business, this, this, this, this going against me and I, I made it to here and then I had this, this, this and this, and I made it to here. But as we're always looking forward.

We miss a lot of great story content that can, we can use as fuel to keep.

To that, you know, billion dollar exit or whatever it is.

Hey, there's nothing wrong with the goal. No, actually, just make sure, just make sure you see it in stages.

Exactly, exactly. Yep, yep, definitely.

Well, look, you know, one of the things I always, I've started asking recently of all the guests, it's kind of my final question is what their take is on becoming unstoppable. So I'm curious to know whether you could use the story framework or you can do something different. What does it mean to truly become unstoppable?

I mean, I know and I think we would all agree that while there are outside forces that can stop us, really what it comes down to, the only thing that can stop us is ourselves. And not even Necessarily our physical selves, the thing that can stop us is the thing that we think, the things that we think about ourselves. And so if we can.

Shift that thinking to positive thinking about ourselves and recognizing our strengths, recognizing where we've come from, how far we've come, recognizing those little moments of victories.

That that belief is built from the inside out, which then enables you to be able to move forward and not be stopped. But it has. It has to come from within and it has to be intentional. And that's what the stories are there for.

That's awesome, Kendra. Thank you so much. I seriously enjoyed this. The reality is, choose your story, change your life is out right now. Do you have a specific place that you like to send people to for books?

I know it's available everywhere, but it's available everywhere. I mean, you can support local bookstores, certainly. I think it's the cheapest on Amazon. That's how that goes. I mean, if I'm just being honest.

No take on that. The content inside of it.

I know, but. Yeah, no, no, not at all. Yeah, that's already set, but. And then you can go to choose your story changeyourlife.com and fill out your info after you order the book. And I'll send you a book plate so you can have a signed copy and then you'll be on the list to get all the announcements. We have a lot of. Have a lot of cool things coming coming up, so. So you'll. You'll be the first to know about all those.

Awesome. Kendra, thank you again.

Thank you so much. Loved it.

All right, take care. Peace. Now, if you like this content that you just got through watching, I know you're going to love this one right here. So check it out. Want to be better in any area of your life? First, get crystal clear on the basics and then work towards mastery of those during the unseen hours. When it comes to behaviors, we need to figure out what is going to help us get where it is that we're trying to go and to become the person that we're trying to become. And sometimes there'll be a tremendous amount of overlap amongst others. Sometimes there won't be.