How To SELL ANYTHING To Anyone Using THIS SECRET... | Ari Galper

Real trust is when your prospect says themselves inside. He just gets me, he just understands me. And you know, on top of that, he's not even tried to sell anything. On top of that.

Hey, look, you know, you're the number one authority on trust based selling. And I think this world has gone like really far to one direction as it relates to selling. And how did you find your way to trust based selling when everybody else seems to be doing it the opposite?

There's a crazy story behind this, and I'll walk you through it. It was about 20 years ago. I was a sales manager software company, and we launched the first online website tracking tools. Now there's called Google Analytics, but before that.

That's something small.

You know, it's just something small. But we launched this thing and websites were going kind of growing back then, and I was managing 18 people underneath me at the time. The leads came across my desk and this one contact called us and I gave him a call back. And he's a big company and if I close this one sale, it will double the revenue of the company. One transaction, that's how big this baby was. And so I called the guy back, we had a conversation. He agreed to a conference call and a demo to see our product. So the day finally came Friday, 4 o' clock in the afternoon. I'm in the conference room with my CEO, closed door behind me, big long conference table in front of us. On the table is speakerphone. You know, the old ones like Starship. Star Trek.

Yeah.

And so I had the dial tone and I dialed the number. He picks it up. He's like, hey, Ari, how's it going? I said, good. And he says to me, ari, let us tell you who's with us in the room today. I was like, oh, didn't know anybody else would be there. Next thing I might hear is, my name is Mike, I'm CEO. I was like, oh, this is good. My name's Chris. I'm head of it. This is awesome. My name is Julie. I'm head of global marketing. This is amazing. I mean, everybody on this call was a decision maker.

Yeah.

You know what I'm saying?

So let's close it.

This is. This is going to. It's going to happen. It's going to happen today. Let me say it right now. So I introduced myself, started describing what we do. I gave them a live demo showing them how it all works. And I started this noise on the phone call, like, wow, this is great. This is amazing. They start asking me all kinds of questions. How does it work? How do we get it started? I mean, honestly, there was so much chemistry on this phone call. It was like a love fest on the phone.

Yeah. Talking about, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Just calling. So much chemistry going back. I'm saying to myself, this is awesome.

I'm.

I'm. I'm asking all the right kinds of questions, build a rapport. I mean, doing everything I was taught to do by the sales gurus. You know, how the books at home seas in my car back then. Hour goes by, my guy said, me, Ari, we love this. Give us a call a couple of weeks, follow up with us, and we'll move this thing forward. I said to myself, oh, thank you, God, it's perfect. I said my goodbyes, took my arm, and I reached for the phone in the middle of the table. As I'm reaching for the off button on the phone, by complete accident now it's a divine intervention. I hit the mute button instead of the off button. I hit the wrong button on the phone and a small click happened and they thought I hung up the phone.

In that split second, a voice inside of me said, ari, go to the dark side. Be a fly on the wall. Go where no one's ever gone before in the world of sales. I pull back for a couple seconds, they started talking amongst themselves, thinking I had left to call. And what would you imagine they would have said? Not trick question, what would you say?

I mean, based on what you said, the chemistry's in the room, they like the product, they like the service. I mean, let's do a deal. That's kind of what I'm.

Exactly. That's what's supposed to happen.

Yeah.

No resistance, man. This was the dream call.

Yeah.

Let me tell you what I heard verbatim, word for word, and here's what they said. They said, we're not going to go with him. Keep using him for more information and make sure we shop someplace else cheaper. Knife in heart twist.

Stephen.

I was in a state of shock. Yeah, the heck, after an hour of that. And I hung up the phone and I looked the wall and I said to myself, what did I do wrong? And I had epiphany. I realized that moment that somewhere along the way, it has become socially acceptable not tell the truth to people who sell. Right. It's okay. Something like, sounds good. Send me information. Hey, send me a proposal without any intention of buying it all.

You know what? It was crazy as I've. You know, I own several businesses now, the first of which I started about 20 plus years ago, very humble beginnings. And it was crazy because about five years ago something interesting in the market happened, which was people that used to work for me decided they were going to try to start competitive companies. Right. Because everybody can do it better. Right? Okay, well, that's all well and good. Well, the customer base, the client base, the market kept coming back to me for all the experience and all the knowledge and product, you know, new product testing and all this kind of stuff. And I think they would basically do the same thing that you actually heard because they would take the information and then chart a ride around and give it to the cheapest guy in town thinking that that model was going to somehow work with them to leverage them forward. And I got to be honest with you, you know, that particular business is in the home building slash construction industry. And I remember when I started out, I was super excited because, you know, and everybody that I used to shake a hand with, if I shook their hand, it was a deal, it was done right now. And here I am now. I literally walk out of meetings and sometimes I'm like.

Your guess is as good as mine.

Totally.

Same same experience. Why did we get there?

Yeah, yeah. And I asked myself, why were they afraid to tell me the truth? Yeah, I'd be okay with that. And I realized that moment that somewhere there is this invisible flow, a pressure that flows underneath your sales process and all your calls with people. And I realized if you're not aware of that pressure, you're removing it for the process. You're not providing a bubble of what I call vulnerability to allow the other person to trust you enough to tell you the truth. And that began my whole mindset. We developed, called the unlock the game mindset, where the goal now the shift is not to focus anymore on the sale. At the end, the focus is on building deep trust with people so they feel comfortable trusting you to tell you where they stand so they know you won't take advantage of them. That became my whole trust based selling concept. What you talk about today?

Yeah, I mean, the crazy part is in our American culture today, I would dare say, and maybe I'm wrong, please don't get offended if I am, that we live in a world of primarily in a manipulative style scenario. We're constantly being manipulated to buy things we don't actually need, services we don't actually need, partner with people that claim to be gurus or thought leaders but haven't actually done the work. And are all this kind of stuff when there's so much distrust and so much manipulation that at least I can see in the marketplace. How have you been able to actually get the hearts and the minds open again with the trust? Best selling?

Sure. Well, first of all, I'll make the claim. And you're on the right track with that, by the way, that trust is the new currency. And people who understand how to harness that, develop that, and put that in their sales process will no doubt achieve what they're trying to achieve. And it starts. The shift starts with, first of all, dealing with what I call the old sales myths still rattling around the back of our minds. Yeah. What we believe selling is. And I'll run through some of these now. I'm sure you recognize a few. One is the one that sales is a numbers game. Heard that one before.

Oh, yeah, yeah. So many calls equal so many closes.

Yeah, Right. The more contacts to make, the more sales you're supposed to make. Well, you know, we discovered in this economy now, it's not about how many contacts you make anymore. It's about how deep you go on each conversation. How good you are trust building, not how good you are. How many contacts you make was a total flip of the model. Number two is the idea that the sale is lost at the end of the process. I'm sure you've been there before. We had a deal pending. It all looked good. All the green light everywhere at the end fell through like it just came left or something.

Yeah.

Well, we discovered the sales now lost at the beginning. Beginning of the process and not the end. And I'll prove it to you right now in a fun way. If someone calls your office tomorrow morning, you pick up the phone and you hear, hi, my name is. I'm with. We are a. What goes through mine in about three seconds.

Sales call. I'm getting off the phone as quickly as possible.

It's over at. Hello, Isn't.

Reminds me a lot of LinkedIn connections nowadays. Hey, I want to be your friend.

Totally.

Here's something I want you to buy. I'm like, really? You can at least.

Exactly. And I'm not saying maybe your folks are doing outbound calls. Maybe they are, which is fine. But I will make the case today that most of your people are losing their opportunities. Not at the end of the process. They're losing it at the beginning. Which will shock them when I share them some insights today about that. And the last one is the idea behind rejection, the sales. Rejection is part of the game. If you can't take it, then get out of it. Well, that came from the old sales manager who got beat up knocking on doors and said, hey, if you can't take it, no, you're not made for success. Well, you know what we discovered? We discovered that rejection is triggered by certain things you say unconsciously that cause the other person to push back on you. And I'll share with you in a few minutes what those are, and it'll probably blow your mind.

I've already blown my mind. Because fortunately, we as an organization, I think, mimic a lot of the folks that you work with. I think it's one of the reasons David Melter has been so successful is because people do trust. Right. And it's all about culture. It's all about showing people that you do care. You know, we've tried to do a good job of that, but I'm constantly being sold to from a widget mentality, which you're right. I just had, like, this little epiphany. I was like, you know what? That's a total. Like, that's why I get turned off. Yeah. Because, I mean, at the very beginning of the conversation, they haven't even asked me a single question yet about my needs, about my concerns, about my wants, about my problems. So they're just trying to sell me.

A product without qualifying it because they're conditioning. They've been brainwashed to believe their job is to present you with the solution before identifying the problem. See, we've been top of the gurus in the 80s. That's what it's all about. Be enthusiastic, build rapport, show them your solution, close your eyes, and hope it sticks.

Yeah.

Welcome to the world of sales is still alive today.

You know, and my job is to shift that thinking away from starting the conversation, talking about you, but focusing only on them and identifying whether you're fit with them or not. That's the whole what I call doctor patient relationship model, where they've got a problem, you got the solution, but you got to be diagnosed the problem first before you can prescribe the solution. And it might sound like common sense, but I can tell you right now, there are so many people who default back to their old behaviors, and they sell prematurely. They talk too fast, they jump too early. They don't go what I call below the iceberg, which is go belief below what the prospect actually thinks they want and to find out what they actually need. And that's the key flip here. We'll talk about in these principles in a few minutes about how to do that.

Well, let's go ahead and jump in and break down A couple. Because I'm very curious. Again, I think if there's anyone on this planet right now as the number one authority in this space that can, that can help us shift this, it's going to be you, buddy. So I want to go ahead and break down a couple of the principles, if you don't mind. So what's the first thing that we're, as salespeople, we're all doing wrong straight out of the gate.

So the first principle here is to always be consciously aware of what I call diffusing pressure, taking pressure out of the conversation. Now how you do that is we developed our own proprietary, what we call trust based languaging words or phrases to you that replace sales scripts and remove the momentum out of it to build that trust. Let me give you an example. Let's do a live scenario right now.

Okay.

Let's say you're on the call with somebody, first conversation, they're qualified. Good chemistry could be a good fit with you. You're excited about it. The call kind of comes to an end. What do we normally say at the end of the call? Like that. What's the typical thing supposed to say when we end a call and it looks like it could be a fit? We normally say things like what?

How about we, oh gosh, how about we just, we follow up a week later or whatever? Yeah, yeah.

How about we move things where Forward. Forward, yeah. Fail. Right. But what happens if you try and move things forward and they aren't ready yet? What do you break right there with them at that moment?

Oh yeah. I mean it's going to be the breaks, breaks approach. Whoa, whoa, I'm not ready. It's kind of like trying to ask somebody to marry him right away.

Exactly. You break trust right at the beginning. Now they won't tell you this, but it's being broken now. Same scenario, our mindset, our approach calls going well, Good chemistry could be a fit. Call comes to end rather than saying, hey, how about we move things forward? What we say instead is this. We say, where do you think we should go from here?

Where do you think we should go from here?

Yeah. One cause you to lean in, one cause you to lean away. It's that simple.

How does that change the dynamic of the moment? What are you thinking now when you say to somebody, where do you think we should go from here?

Well, first of all, I think it's reaching into the pocket of buy in. Second of all, it reaches, definitely reaches into the trust factor, as in you're actually considering what I Feel what I want, what I see, maybe there's some objections, that kind of thing that they can say, well, you know, for me to move forward or for me to do the next thing, I need to know X, Y and Z. So you're actually opening your door to overcome things because you actually see them.

Now when you said to somebody, where do you think we should go from here? They're usually in a state of shock. They can't believe somebody actually asked them what they want to do. Are you kidding me?

Yeah.

This is not standard practice. That's the whole shift here, is that you differentiate yourself based upon your approach, not your product. Because we've been commoditized, man. The world's commoditized. You think your product's different, good luck to you. But if you change your approach to being trust based, and they're like, whoa, I like this person. They're not trying to move me forward. And what happens is, you're right. They say. They say things like, I've got one more question or what about this? You know, it comes out.

Yeah, yeah.

And the truth is the goal, not the sale. Because if they're not a fit, you can disengage and not chase black ghosts. People who say, sounds good, send a proposal. You're chasing all these numbers and only a few come out at the end of the month.

Yeah, I mean, you can't have trust without truth.

Right?

I mean. I mean, seriously, the two are in tandem.

That's correct. But we're not used to that. Sales. See, we're used to moving people forward, not get to the truth.

Yeah.

We play the numbers game. At the end, we hope a few drop out, and that's our day. We go home. We're like, yeah, I was really busy. Made lots of phone calls, a lot of deals pending. We'll see what happens next month. That's the world of both people in sales right now.

Well, how does that play into the current market strategy of value? First mentality. Value, value, value. Give, give, give, give.

Great. So I'm gonna drop a bomb right now. Okay, okay. Here comes the bomb. And I tell my clients, I tell them, stop delivering value pre sale. Instead, provide clarity on their problem, not value around the solution. Stop doing free consulting. Stop doing free education.

They got a problem, you got the answer. Direct line of sight in the middle of it. Don't be educating them on the solution. Help them unpack their issues so they own them. And then say this to them. Say, is this a priority for you to solve once and for all or are you happy to live with it for a while and let it go? And I'm okay either way?

Yeah, yeah.

They gotta own the problem first before they're gonna solve it.

Well, as you've implemented that particular strategy, because you know that technically goes polar opposite of what the current market environment is telling it, especially in the thought leadership space, what to do, right? When you shifted that in your own business and your own priorities or not your own way of doing things, how did that change the game for you?

It was everything. Because what happens is the market and your customers feel that you're starting the process around their world and not your world. See, what happens is when we start the conversation talking about our solutions, what we can do for people that contains assumptions, assumptions that we understand them. See, real trust is when your prospect says themselves inside. He just gets me. He just understands me. And you know, on top of that, he's not even tried to sell anything. On top of that, I like him.

Yeah, well, the crazy part is now we got this whole mental shift, right? Because like, my biggest problem as a thought leader, okay, and granted, I've lived through a tremendous amount of adversity and I'm trying to offer value to the world is I haven't even become okay with actually charging for it yet, right? Because I'm like the person, you know, I'm a big believer that, you know, serving the person you used to be is the greatest purpose in life. I mean, that's just kind of my mentality and the purpose. The person I used to be was broken and broke, you know, so sometimes I feel a little guilty if you. If I'm being honest, even though I know that there's no margin, there's no ministry. In other words, there's. There's no impact if you can't support the team. Right? I know that intellectually, but at the heart stage, I'm like, but they need the help, but they need the help.

How can I, as an entrepreneur, shift that?

You can help them and get paid by providing them with complete clarity on their problem. That's the real value for them. They'll pay you for that. Let me give you an example. Let's look at. And I like to use a medical doctor model. Here's a process to see a doctor. Step one, you schedule pumping to go see him or her. Step two, you schedule an hour on each side in case traffic, just in case you're running late. But you don't invoice him for your time, do you? No, no, you schedule time around him. Then you sit in the office, and you wait and you wait. You don't bill enough for your time. Right. You dap. And then you get in there, and he says, where does it hurt? And you say, right over here. He goes, let me take a look. Oh, man. Whoa. You got.

You.

You got to get an X ray on this thing. Yeah, like, okay, doctor. And then he identifies the problem, he writes your prescription, and you. Before you leave the office, you go pay. You pay before the problem is solved. Yeah, because the clarity in itself is the value. You need to start thinking about understanding the process there. So you are helping people with clarity on their problem, and that is enough for them to say, how can you help me? And you can then charge them legitimately because they decided you're the one to help them. Yeah, I mean, using the same answers.

Yeah, I mean, using the. Using the same example. I was just thinking with the doctor analogy, when it comes to a doctor, when you go to the doctor, you feel like crap for whatever reason. Maybe. Maybe you got flu symptoms or something like that here recently. It's, oh, crap, do I have Covid?

Right, Right.

In fact, you do go. You get tested. They tell you the answer to that. That automatically relieves the anxiety and the stress and all the questions. So that does bring clarity. And then they do. Next step is charge you for the solution to the problem. All right, you sold me. I'm good.

Well, what happens is, we don't think in a process like that. We meet somebody, they got a problem, we go, oh, I can help you. Let me tell you how. And you're like, here it is. Here you go. I'm like, that's disvalue to both of you. That makes no sense. Your job first is to help them understand the impact of their entire issue and ask them the key question. Is this a priority for you to solve once and for all?

Yeah. Yeah.

When they own the problem, then they want to pay to solve it.

Yeah, no, I totally get it. I totally get it. Well, let's go ahead and go on to the next. The next principle. What's the next principle we're looking for?

I got one more. And that is this idea that their goal is to always be getting to the truth with people. Now, what does that mean? What that means is having your prospects feel comfortable telling you where they stand every step of the way. So not guessing and hoping it's going to work out. Let me give you an example of this happening. Recently. Someone called my office, got to my. Got through my team Got to me. I picked the phone up and I hear this. I hear Mr. Galper. I said, yes, my name is John Johnson. Change the name. He said, changing his name. And he says, I'm with XYZ Company. You recognize name their global business. We're looking at bringing someone like yourself in to change our culture and our sales performance. We're looking at you and two other people right now. We'd like to know, first of all, why should we go with you? Why are you the best and give me your best sales pitch?

It says this to me of all people in the world, right? So I took a deep breath, I got centered my mindset again. I lowered my voice and I said this to him. What I said was this. I said, well, isn't that interesting?

Again, throwing out the unexpected.

And then I paused and I said, over here at our company, we have a very similar process to you where we ask a few questions, gather information to see if we're a good fit. And if we're a good fit, we decide where to go from there. And I said to him, would you be open to that?

And my guess is it was.

Yeah, I suppose so.

While leaning in first, dead silence. I was like, oh, man, he's still there. Then I felt his breath across the front. Like he actually breathed his shoulders kind of. I can tell the shoulders came down. He became human again. Yeah, he took the armor off of him. He lowers his voice and he says to me, okay, what kind of questions do you have for me?

Next thing I know, within five minutes, I discover, one, he's not a decision maker, two, he has no budget, and three, he's just curious as to what.

I do and aka, not a good fit. Which made you save a whole lot of time politely moving on. But it opened. Leaving a door for a future business.

No more chasing, no more pursuing, no more. That's this drug. It's in our bodies and it's latent. And it's triggered with inbound calls like that. You know what a drug is called?

Dopamine.

It's called Hopium.

I love it.

You're like, yeah, I got the call. I got just, like, so excited. Got the inbound call. The whale, the bluebird. You got home. You go to your team. Guess what, guys? I got the call. And you're, like, so excited. You're on this high. Then you follow up with a guy and you get their voicemail, like, what the. He's not answering his phone. Then what do you do next? You go to your computer, open your email you write, hi, John, I'm writing you to what? To follow up. Follow up.

Yeah.

So I'm going to ask you right now and all your listeners and viewers remove one key phrase forever from the vocabulary as of today and never, ever use it again in their business life and sales live. And here it is. Never again use the phrase follow up ever again. As of today.

What's the only industry that uses the word follow up? Gosh, sales.

Yeah, yeah.

It's like there's a few more classic ones, too. You know those. Remember those good old ones? Like, hey, I'm giving you a call to check in, Check in, touch base. This is like 1980s all over again. In today's day, we're so, so conditioned to using these old behaviors that people know within three seconds you're one of those types.

Yeah, yeah.

So never use word follow up again. Use this instead. It's come right from our program. Okay, here it is. I'm giving you a call to see if you have any.

Feedback on our previous conversation, any feedback on our last meeting, any feedback on our proposal, any feedback on the job. Feedback's going which direction? It's going to backwards. Away from the sale, not towards a sale. Your goal is to move momentum away from the goal. The moment they feel that you're trying to move into a next step, it's over.

Yeah, yeah.

They know they're in a structure process. They've heard a thousand times, you've got to change your approach. Otherwise you'll feel like they'll feel like you're ever like everyone else.

Speaking of the way in which we are selling, the way in which we are communicating, the way in which we are building a connection or not building a connection when it comes to salespeople in general. Okay, so, you know, there's people that I think that kind of try sales. There are people that are gifted at sales. There are people that could be mentored in sales. How do you know when you have a, for lack of a better word, a dud of a salesperson versus a salesperson who just needs to be mentored. How do you know the difference? What types of things do you see? That kind of are indicators.

The difference is the person has to be open to letting go of inauthentic behaviors they know don't feel right to them if they were treated that certain way, how they feel. You see, when you reverse someone else, they go, doesn't feel right. So the hardened person who's been selling sales for a long time, who thinks the only way to do it this way. They are difficult to change. But the ones who are open and realize chasing ghosts, not getting calls back, call back. Number game is not fun anymore. It's time to make that shift.

Sorry about that. Siri just popped in my ear for some reason.

No problem.

I was like, what's going on? I got great editors. Go ahead. Sorry.

Yeah, so it's really about being open minded to letting go of the old dysfunctional behaviors that, you know, don't feel right anymore. And I've been pretty outdated.

Yeah, that's, that's really good, you know, because I was, I just got to thinking, you know, I just bought a, a new vehicle, you know, kind of a toy and I went to go do, go through the buying experience and I've, I've bought many vehicles. I used to sell cars when I was younger. So I know about F and I, and I know about the experience side of F and I. I know what, you know, what, where things are and buy rates and all this kind of stuff. So I kind of always go in with a little bit of, well, like almost like warrior mentality. Like, all right, I'm going to buy a car. Let me grab my shield, let me grab my sword, let me grab my helmet.

You got armor on, right?

Exactly. You know, and I go there and the first dealership I go to, a man comes out, clearly been selling cars a long time and is proceeding to basically give me all the one liners, like he was going to pick me up to take me on a date in the sales world. So I very quickly got kind of the heebie jeebies. And I was like, you know what, you know what? He's like, how long, how soon before you're in the market? I was like, you know, it might be a little bit, man. I'm just kind of window shopping. Meanwhile, I go literally 10 miles down the street to another dealership and I walk out, young, young guy. And he goes, hey, my name is X and welcome to the dealership. If there's anything I can do to kind of like, you know, assist you, just let me know. I'm going to be right over here. And he started wiping down cars like with little spot shine, right? So I'm like, huh. So rather than the guy come running down the street to me at the other dealership, like just because he's clearly wants to sell, this guy's like, hey, I'm here. And he proceeds to ask me like questions like, you know what, you know what are you excited about? What's missing? And like really spend time to qualify. And I literally bought a car an hour later.

So I think this experience teaches us a lot about the power of trust based selling. Now you talked earlier in the show about the experience where everything kind of fell apart at the last second.

That entire experience helped you build a massive framework around trust based selling. What's the best way for someone to consume that information so they can maybe shake themselves out of the bad sales scenario and, and get on to being more productive?

Well, the first thing is obviously saying to yourself, it's time for me to go back to school. Yeah, I've got to learn how to build trust. Because trust people think is conscious, it's actually get unconscious. You got to know how to do it the right languaging, the right process. So look, if people want to dive into this, I do have an intro free course they get access to@ unlockthegame.com I do a live streaming show every two weeks called Stump the Guru.

Yeah man.

Where they can jump online and throw me off my perch. Give me your toughest challenge. You can't answer and I'll do what I can do. I just make live cold calls in front of thousands of people. So I'm pretty comfortable with.

Well that's one way to test yourself.

Exactly. And also LinkedIn, reach out to me, we can have a chat there, say hello. But look, the world has changed. No, no one will argue against that. But if your sales approach is the same, you're doing it for years, man. You're about to hit a serious wall. Coming soon.

Yeah, yeah. Well let me, let me pivot just a little bit and have you are and articulate to the best of your, I guess the best of your perspective. What is sales done? Well really look like. What's the experience for the salesperson? What's the experience for the consumer?

Stop selling.

Start creating trust with people. Meaning when you enter a conversation with somebody, remove your goal of attempting to convince, persuade or pursue. Let go of the chase and connect with them at a deep level. What I mean by that is go into their world, understand their issues, unpack them with them, help them understand themselves. Because like a, like a therapist and patient, if the patient doesn't understand and own their problem, they're the worst patients, man. They don't work with you at all because they just, they're hard. They just hold tight. And here's the thing, if you don't have your own process, you're going to be in their process. So the real key here is when you enter a conversation with Somebody pre sale. The secret is this, make sure you understand and have the right questions to understand their issues in advance. So they say to themselves, oh, she just gets me. She's not trying to sell anything. I like her. Because when they feel connected to you, they pursue you versus you pursuing them.

It sounds an awful lot like dating.

It's very much like it. That's my next book called Unlock the Dating Game coming out soon.

Are you serious?

I figured you were messing with me. I'm always, I'm always waiting for your next book. So when we're looking at this, I got so many follow up questions as it relates to, I guess, all of this.

You mentioned just a second ago about the importance of the right question. I'm a big believer that questions open hearts and statements close them. So if you're talking at somebody, they shut down. If you're asking them question, they're typically inquisitive. I know in your framework there's all kinds of a step by step process of how to do this. What are some of the questions that maybe someone listening or watching could maybe even implement today?

Sure. Okay, let's say you're having a first call with somebody over the phone. All right? It's a scheduled consultation. They're probably qualified. Usually what we do is say, hey, how's it going? Nice to meet you. Hey. And we get in this kind of flow about ourselves. Rather than try and add in rapport and relationship building at the beginning of your call, which they know is fake anyways, rather add that in instead. Take that out. Start the conversation with this. Can you tell me a little bit about your situation, your story and your current business model and your challenges will go from there. So put the ball in their court. Say, can we start the dialogue chatting with about your situation? So put the ball in their court. Have them talk about themselves first. And then when you hear their issues that come up, begin to unpack them. Here's how you do it. Let's say, I don't know, say you're a business coach and someone says to you, I'm having difficulty with my team right now. Yeah, right. Because they're not performing well. Like normally, if you're a consultant, you might say, oh, okay, I can help you with that. Look, you know what we do with that is we see. Rather than that, say this, and here's the key phrase. Say, when they give you a problem at the surface level, say this. Say, can you tell me a little bit more about that?

Yeah, that's the magic phrase to use. When you hear someone telling you a problem because that opens up them going to a new space with you to explain to you what the issue is, the impact, the ROI loss. And that goes deep down this rabbit hole of their issues where they said, wow, I didn't realize we were going here today. I'm like, yeah, this call is about you. I'm the doctor, you're the patient. This is not a relationship building conversation, my friend. This is a diagnostic call to determine whether were a fit or not.

Yeah, well, I love what you're saying because I think it is so needed. I mean, in a big way. Again, I just gave you my car buying experience. I buy products all the time for my various businesses. They're always harsh negotiating kind of thing. I rarely, as someone who buys millions of dollars of product on a year's basis, I very rarely get, hey, how can we serve you? How can we help you? What are your problems? What are your concerns? You know, right now in the construction industry specifically. So one of my seven companies is a construction business. And then there's real estate, some other things I do. In that one company right now I'm being asked to pay 30 to 40% more for products I can't even get.

So if I'm in that environment where things are so.

Rocky at best, does the, the, this approach to selling, does it work in environments like that too? To open people up, to actually serve them better? Or is this only for environments that are kind of like flowing at top speed now?

This is, this is how life used to be.

Yeah.

When we were in villages, we said, we shook hands, we said hello, we listened, we connected. You see, we got technology. Totally just moved us away from one on one connection.

Yeah.

So this applies. This is the human condition, man. This is like, this is the basics of what makes life work. And I think the more no matter what conditions you're in, the more you focus on the client's problem and they feel that you understand them. That's when real trust is created. Not the fake stuff like, hey, how's it going? Nice to meet you, how's the weather outside? That's not trust, that's fake rapport. And stop doing that.

And everybody's used to it. As soon as you get over the age of 18, you've been sold your first credit card. You were inundated from that moment on. So I totally see that. No, I wanted to bring that up because a lot of times, you know, you take someone like yourself who's the number one authority in this area, and Even though you're the number one authority in that area, people are like, well, that doesn't fit to my situation, that doesn't fit to my market, that doesn't fit to my product or service. And I wanted to have you actually articulate that because it fits to every product or service, if it's to any type of selling, if you actually want to have what I refer to as the long game business. Because the short game is all about products, long game is all about relationships.

If you want to narrow this thing down, the ideal for this model is for if you're in the business of low volume, high price point, high trust quadrant, if you're in that quadrant, advisory, high price point, products, high margin, long sales cycle, relationship building, this is where it gets the most impact. If it's commoditization, like shoes, a quick, small transaction, maybe not, there's not much room in there for that. But if you got to build trust with someone first and it's a high transaction, this is the answer.

So basically this is the best answer for any, any type of, any type of connection. Connection oriented organization or product or service.

Yeah. An advisory type of business, a consulting business, a high transaction business, a SaaS, company, software, anything that requires a large purchase, ongoing relationship with someone. You can't start it selling the old way.

Now, I just out of curiosity, the experience that you had when we first opened the show up, was that the catalyst to writing your book? I mean, because what happened? Because it's such a great, such a great book. I mean, like, you know, what was the catalyst?

I mean, that story is what woke me up, woke me up to the game that's going on behind. I was a pawn in the middle of. I wasn't even aware of. See, what happens is we're being taken advantage of now by chasing people. We've got breadcrumbs, we follow, hoping we'll make that sale. And that woke me up to the truth. In fact, people always ask me, they said to me, ari, if you knew what you knew right now back then, what would you do differently back then if you knew what you do now? Yeah, and I tell people that if I knew what I knew now back then, I never would have had the phone call because on the first contact with him, before I had the conference call, I would have figured out what the agenda was.

Now, out of curiosity, playing devil's advocate, I'm just curious, how would you have been able to determine that on the first call rather than the second call? Like what, what are some of the Tea leaves that you could. You can.

So this goes to my new book I'm working on called the One Call Sale, which I'm.

All right, sign me up. One Call Sale. I'm done.

This is all about how to build deep trust on one conversation with somebody where the truth comes out and, you know, lay land. Right? So this. If I had knew what I knew now, I would have spent a lot of time unpacking with him what their agenda was, what their goal was, where they were at, what their timing was, who is involved, what's going to be happening. I would have got all this out from the beginning, so I would have not been surprised at the end had my hopium already in that bottle.

Hopium needs a cork, right?

Exactly. It's flying around everywhere, and we drink it all the time.

Well, now that you've it, obviously you're crazy successful in this area. Can you give us, like, a little bit? You know, the show's stuck to Unstoppable, so Stuck is all. Is not making progress, and Unstoppable is consistently making progress. Right. I had a recent guest on Diamond Dallas Page for the WWE hall of Fame. He was just on the show recently. And I said, well, what's your definition of unstoppable, right? And he's like, relentless. I was like, that's a great word. You got to be relentless. Okay, good. So I'm curious, in your world, when you look at Stuck, Ari, that was on that sales call that had their heart kind of like knife and heart. Oh, my gosh, what just happened? And Ari, now who's, like, crazy successful now, leading all kinds of millions of people all over the place, what is the difference in Ari and what is the difference in the technique? Like, how have you actually applied what you've been teaching?

I would say, being the contrarian, going the opposite of everybody else, not be afraid to follow the crowd, be resilient. If the crowd's going that direction, you go that direction. That's been my one goalpost the entire time, is when the whole industry is saying, go do that. I'm like, no, go. Let's go do that. Right? So if you can kind of keep that in mind and that becomes your kind of main track, you'll always do well.

Dude, I love it. I love it, man. I am. I'm enjoying this conversation so much. I feel like I got like a thousand more questions. You know, one of my first questions I was going to ask is, all right, you know, because everybody's into sales, like, you know, they want to Double and triple and quadruple their sales. And you've already answered the question. So I was like, well, I can't answer that one. I can't ask that one. So, you know, as you're looking at your. As you're looking at your ultimate legacy, I'm a big believer in creating a legacy that outlives you. And, you know, that's how you ultimately leave your mark on the world. What is the legacy you want to leave on the world?

Well, I want. Well, just so you know, I'm doing this with certification. I'm certifying coaches, trainers who want to become a consultant in our methodology and go out and replicate me, essentially, and deliver this around the world. That's how I'm doing it at a practical level. But my goal is to impact millions of people, to realize that they've been brainwashed, that are sleepwalking the old way, and to wake up and realize they can grow their businesses, make more sales without degrading their cells and chasing people they can stand up tall, be authentic, and do it right.

I love it, man. Well, look, if I can help you be a megaphone, I'm happy to assist you in any way possible, my friend. I'm inspired by your journey. I love the concepts and the content, the frameworks, the processes. How can people stay involved with you and learn more about. More about you? And, like, where. Where would you send them to? Right now?

I'd say catch me up on LinkedIn. Say hello to me. Send me a message. Say hello. Tell me you heard me on this, on this podcast. My show's on there. Also, go to Unlock the game dot com. A lot of free, worthy resources there. We also offer a complimentary free coaching session. Now, you heard that before, lots of people, but I want you to actually experience not being sold anything. It's a very new experience. There's no pitch, there's no next step. There's no nothing other than it's all about you and your issues. So try that experience that. Don't be afraid of it. You'll learn a lot from that call.

And I'm curious, guys, for those of you watching and listening, I want a lot of you to go take advantage of that call. And I want each of you to tell me, did he in fact use it as a way to get to know you and understand you, or did he try to sell you? I'm very curious. I happen to. I happen to know Ari a little bit, and I know that he means what he says. So take advantage of the call. For sure, dude. I've had a blast, man. I've had a blast. I can't thank you enough for coming on. And again, if there's anything I can do to help you enlarge your megaphone, I'm here to serve.

I appreciate it. Thank you.

All right, take care, buddy. See you.

Bye. Bye.

If you love that interview, go ahead and check out this next one right here.

The money wasn't what made you rich.

That's right. Wealth, affluence, success.

They did.

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