How to Stop Holding Yourself Back From Reaching Your Dreams

You shouldn't have to go through a single day more without making massive progress. So listen up.

When you've been doing things as long as I have, specifically in the space of life and business mastery, you learn to see patterns. And there are a lot of patterns that kind of, well, jump up and bite us in the butt. So many of those things I like to refer to as roadblocks. Why I call them roadblocks because they are conquerable. Most people think that their tendencies or behaviors and stuff like that, they can't conquer and they can't beat, and. And that's not true. In fact, I've actually understood that roadblocks really come down to five specific areas. And when we understand how those roadblocks get in our way, we're able to sidestep them, overcome them, go under them, over them, or even around them to make sure we can actually make progress on a consistent basis. So the first one of those is called expectations. Sometimes we can set our expectations out to be real. Let's call it not realistic. We think we're going to win the lottery next month. We want to make $100,000 a year before we make $10,000 a year. We want to date the perfect person without dating five or six other people along the way to better understand who we are as people and how we respond in relationships. All of these different things come down to expectations. Expectations are nothing more than a desired outcome. The difference is whether or not you put a boundary around it or not. All right? Because outcomes, to me, are something that I want to do. It's a result that I want. But the expectation is the attitude and the emotion that you're trying to achieve that outcome with. And so many times the expectations that we have are not flexible. We make them very rigid. And anytime that rigidity is busted, in other words, anytime our expectations are not met, we get frustrated and mad because our expectations weren't hit. And as a result, we end up spinning our wheels with bad behavior problems, defense mechanisms, and everything else that you can think of. That totally jacks up our overall attitude. And as a result, that takes us into the second roadblock, which is our way of thinking. So much of your actions are actually created by the thoughts that you use on a regular basis. In fact, no action is ever taken unless a thought occurred first. The reality is, every thought breeds a new action. The question is whether or not that thinking is right. Zig Ziglar used to call it stinking thinking. Are you expecting the worst and thinking about it all day long? That you actually end up putting yourself into a negative state where you can't actually take action on something or are you moving things forward on a consistent basis? The third roadblock really quickly is attitudes. Inside of every attitude is the intensity in which every action is taken. Are you angry? Are you sad? Are you happy? Are you joyful? Are you gritty? Are you distant? These types of things help you better understand what whether or not your attitude is right for the exact moment that you're actually using it. I will be honest with you. There are some times that I have to check myself. There are some times in my attitude's all wrong, and I've got to take a step back and actually get myself in a healthier state to make sure I'm getting where I need to go. All right. The next roadblock that I see a lot of people struggling with, and I used to struggle with the same one, is overall work ethic. So many people want a lot of things, but are not willing to put in the work to get a lot of things. It doesn't matter if it's relational or financial or spiritual. It doesn't matter. Work ethic is the diligence in which you pursue any one given thing. As a result, if your work ethic is low, then so will your results. Your results will always be built on whether or not your work ethic was strong, whether or not your attitude was right, whether or not your thinking was right, and whether or not you had the proper expectations in the moment. All right, the final particular roadblock we gotta be careful of is, is relationships specifically. I can tell you that I stayed stuck for way too long simply because I was with the wrong people. It might surprise you to know that I actually almost joined a gang one time because I thought my self value was going to be met there, because they were actually showing me affirmation. That was until I told them no, and then everything changed. Relationships are pivotal when it comes to whether or not you're going to make progress or not. So many of us stay in relationships because we call them friends, because we've known them for a long time, and we've actually hung out with them, not realizing that their own belief systems, their own attitudes, their own work ethic, their own way of thinking, and their own expectations don't match where we need to go in order to move ourselves forward. Instead, they actually end up doing the opposite, which is holding ourselves back. So let's break these down just a little bit more with actionable things that we can do to avoid. All right, first of all, avoid knowing it all. This has to do with your attitude. People do not like talking to and or hanging out with people who know everything. Those people are simply trying to be right so they can be valued. Their significance and their self esteem is so low that they feel like they have to be right on a consistent basis in order to have people actually recognize their level of importance, which is an insecurity. It is not healthy. So anytime someone's acting as a know it all, that's probably a good sign that you're probably not going to hang out with them. On the flip side, if you yourself from time to time are know it all, you have all the answers. No one can tell you anything. Well, if no one can tell you anything, they're going to stop sharing with you at all, which means you're going to end up isolated and alone. That's why you got to make sure that you yourself are not coming across as a know it all and your attitude is in the right place. All right, next up, avoid the wrong people. I kind of hit this one already a little bit. I've hit it in other videos really hard. Your relationships will determine how far you will go. If I listen to the people who were in a poverty mindset and I let them influence my mindset and how I handled my finances, I would stay where they currently are. However, if I understand that I need a different type of person in that role as a mentor, as a coach to help me move forward, then I have a better chance of breaking free and actually getting some things going in my own life. All right, the next thing you've got to avoid above all is negative self talk. Yes, we talk about self talk all the stinking time. The reason we do that is because the power of your mind, your mind will define whether or not you get to stay stuck or whether or not you get to become unstoppable. Because thinking is important. If your negative self talk is currently telling you how unimportant you are, how unseen you are, how undervalued you are, then unfortunately you are going to believe those lies. Those lies become life lies, those life lies become behaviors, Those behaviors become negative results. So remember, negative self talk always leads to negative results. If you want to change your results, you got to make sure that you're talking yourself in the proper way. So before we move on, do me a favor like share, subscribe and comment and even hit that bell to make sure you don't miss out on a single video. Alright, let's go back to the next thing I need you to avoid the next thing you've got to avoid right now, right now, today, if you want to get massive breakthrough, is avoid living someone else's life, AKA Expectations. I see far too many people who are living other people's lives. Sometimes the very people who love us most unfortunately set unacceptable expectations on us. Our parents, from time to time will want us to go a specific direction with our careers, our profession, or our hobbies. And in many ways, they want us to walk in their shoes or live a life that they couldn't experience. The question you have to answer is, do my passions, values, gifts and talents also align with that expectation? And if the answer is no, then that means you're in danger of living someone else's life, AKA someone else's expectation of who you should become and why you should become it. And we're all guilty of it. We're all guilty of being the person who sets the expectations for other people. And we're all guilty of not setting proper expectations for ourselves. So the trick here is to make sure that you're open and objective on a regular basis. And you're always looking to discover new ways and explore new options to make sure you are living your best version of your life and not someone else's expectations. Now, the final thing I need you to avoid right now is the mindset that says I will do it tomorrow. You will never make progress when you keep putting stuff off work ethic. Work ethic will take you further, faster as long as you actually apply it. And the longer that you tell yourself, I'll just do it tomorrow when it can be done today, the more you are holding yourself back, which is why we call it a roadblock. Your work ethic is nothing more than the diligence required to make your dreams possible. So why not put in the work start now and get your dreams to happen now rather than 50 or 60 or 70 years old. By that time, you may not be able to enjoy the full weight of your dream. Start now. Work now. Work hard. Make it every day. Do the routines, do the actions, get the outcomes. Grind it out. Make it happen. When you do things this way and you put that work ethic to work for you, you will find that your dreams and your aspirations and your outcomes are getting closer day after day after day. And before long, you'll be living the life you love with the person that you love. I hope you enjoyed that video and if you did, do me a favor, check out this video right here. I know it'll bless you if you find yourself confused about something. That means you need more knowledge and more information to give you more options that then allow you to get clarity in the direction you need to go.