How Your Influences Impact Your Life

Hey, guys. Welcome back to Journey Principals Whiteboard Lessons. In this video, we're going to help you get more self aware by understanding how your influences play a part in shaping your everyday life and where you want to go. So stay tuned.

Hey, guys. So when it comes down to changing your life, you know, at the Journey Principles, we spend a lot of time on step really two of the life Mat, the seven steps of life mastery, which is self awareness or becoming aware. When you're thinking about awareness, you really need to ask yourself one really pivotal question, which is, how did I get here or where did I come from? And the reason that can be so important is because it helps you understand how some of your strengths were shaped as well as how some of your blind spots were shaped. Okay? So growing up in a difficult financial situation myself, unfortunately, my family was always taught to basically just do with what they had. Not really expect much to happen, not really expect much potential. Kind of stay in that poverty mindset, a level of unworthiness. Okay? Well, I discovered that no matter who you are or where you've been or what your past has been, that's a fabricated lie, okay? Your past has nothing to do with your future, okay? Except for different lessons that you can take to help elevate what you want to do and also take away the things that actually hurt you along the way. So what I want to do is I want to break down how influences work and where you should start at.

And one of the things I want to do there is I actually want to start with a tree. You see, I've learned a long time ago that you should never despise small beginnings, okay? You shouldn't be so focused on what everybody else is doing when you should be just focused on your small beginning and developing layer by layer by layer, okay? So the first principle, excuse me, not the first principle, but the first influence we're going to talk about is the parental influence, okay? And that's number one. Okay? This is actually how we ship. A lot of our beliefs are shaped, okay? Belief systems, worldview, Right, Whoops. Worldview. Rather it be good, bad or indifferent, okay? So when I was growing up, my worldview was shaped in more of a negative fashion rather than a positive fashion. Okay? Now, your parental situation may have been awesome. Now, for me, both of my parents for a long period of time had been struggling with their life a little bit. My mother had some of her own things she was working on and my father had some of his things he would work on, okay? Both of them were able to Come back when I got a little older and be fantastic parents. But for the longest time, from ages, like literally from my youth all the way up to age 19, my parents weren't largely involved in my day to day operation of my life, okay? Outside of like working with my dad. Now, reason that's important is because I was personally mentored and shaped by a lot of surrogate parental influences. So when I say parental influences, I don't necessarily mean your parents. What I mean is the people who help shape and mold you early on in your life, okay? Because they do, they shape your belief systems, your worldview, and even some of your triggered force habits, okay? How do you, you know, how you respond to conflict, how you respond to making choices, how do you respond to actually how you view yourself? Your identity, your significance and your meaning along with your potential, okay? I like to consider that level one, that's the acorn phase, okay? Because had you been born in a different environment or a different place in time with a different set of parental influences, that would play a role in whether or not nature has happened, where nurture has happened, or what your flight or your fight or flight response would be. Okay? So considering taking a few moments, list one through five and list five things that your parental influences did that you think are amazing traits and things that you want to carry on in your life. And also list five things that maybe you want to remove from your life, maybe things that they did that you weren't, you don't really think are overly constructive or, or helpful for your life. That's a total of 10 things that shouldn't take you very long. Maybe spend about 20 minutes on that whole process, okay? Now if you look at your tree of life, your personal tree of life, you're going to see there's different stages, okay? So we've already started with the acorn stage, okay? Every single massive oak tree first started as an acorn, okay? And that acorn became a little fledgling, meaning it had a root and then began to build over time. Your life is exactly the same, and that's exactly how influences play a part in your life, okay? You've already heard a technique or a quote that says, show me your five friends and I'll show your future. Well, I can also tell you if you look at your influences, your five influences, you can also see how your future is already being shaped, okay? The difference is, is now you get to make a choice on what influences are that you let in your, let in your heart, your mind and your soul, so to speak, okay? Step two, your environmental influences. I kind of look at that like it's the root system. Alright? So if the acorn is the seed and then the environmental influences are the roots that are feeding your tree. Okay. So for example, where I grew up just outside of Raleigh, North Carolina, I grew up in unfortunately, somewhat of a rundown trailer park. Okay. At best now. Yes. Do we have a gust up where my father was doing quite well with his business and stuff like that and moving to a house and stuff like that? Yes, we had that season briefly and then unfortunately, due to a downturn on the economy, we kind of lost it all and ended up back in the trailer park. Okay. So I sent most of my history in that area. All right. The reason that's important is because the people in the trailer park along with me, many of them did not think like I was thinking, okay? Many of them did not have a Steve Myrick or a mentor that they could pursue to help them get out of the mud, okay? The reason that's important is because people that live in California will automatically think a little differently because of their environment that they grew up in than people in North Carolina. People in North Carolina will think a little bit different than people in Texas because of the environment. People in Texas will think a little bit different because of the people in New York. Right. There was a song one time that said, go to California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Go to New York once, but leave before it makes you hard. Okay? What that was originally saying was that each one of these places offer an environment that either add value or subtract value or have areas within that environment that add value and areas that tend to subtract value. Okay? That's what I'm talking about, right? You have your parental influences now. Your environmental influences is nothing more than the place that you were planted, okay? Environmental influences are nothing more than the place that you were planted equals the root system. Okay? So if you think about some of the things that are shaped during environmental influences speech, okay? Different slang, different gosh, you know, if I want to talk like this, that kind of, you know what I'm saying? Different ways in which speech is occurring, how you respond to criticism, how you respond to the environment. For example, when I go visit New York, I had to check myself the first time I went because here in North Carolina, if I bump into somebody, we're like, oh, I'm sorry, excuse me for a second. No problem. When I went to New York, it was like. And people just kept walking. I'm like, dude, Right. That's an example of dealing with a responsiveness behavior from the conflict. It also kind of handles some of your tendencies. Okay. You know, like I mentioned before, state to state, environment to environment versus growing up in Beverly Hills or in a wealthy mindset or wealthy area versus growing up in a trailer park or in the inner city. Right. There are certain belief systems that have to be overcome, unfortunately, in each one of the environments. Right. So if you grew up in the inner city or the trailer park, kind of like I did, then there's a great chance you're going to have to overcome a poverty mindset. You're going to have to overcome a level of unworthiness, unfortunately, that maybe someone that grew up in Beverly Hills may not do it. They, on the other hand, are going to have to deal with the feelings of entitlement. Right. Because early on it was a little bit easier for them to get some of the levels of expertise and education that maybe some of these other people have to fight for. Both of them have a struggle. Both of them have a strength. Right? So when you understand the environment, what happens is, is you're able to understand the strength you can pull from your environment and also the blind spot you can eliminate from your environment. Okay? So let's make sure we keep that moving. Right. All right, Number four. I'm sorry, number three. You do realize that three comes before four? Yeah, I forget sometimes. My bad. Anyway, relational influences. Okay? I already mentioned this. Show me your five friends and I'll show you your future. Okay? When I'm talking about your relational influences, I'm not just talking about your girlfriend or your boyfriend or your husband or your wife, okay. What I'm talking about specifically, right. Is romantic relationships. Right? Co workers.

Families.

Right. Community impacts.

Each one of these, okay, Each one of these are dealing. Each one of these are dealing specifically with a relational style, okay? So when you understand how your relationships are positioned, you'll be able to choose better relationships. So if your circle of influences is constantly telling you you can't do it, it's never been done before, why should you try then? That's a great concept to help you understand you are in the wrong place. You're surrounded by the wrong people. Yes. That includes your family. Let me say that again. Yes, that can include your family. Perfect example, when I went to go start my very first, my very first company, custom Home Exteriors, or aka C H E, back in the late 90s, okay. When I went to go start that company, my father tried to talk me out of starting the Company. Why? I had no tools, I had no money, and I had no team members. I was starting with nothing. I literally built my scaffolding out of the trash piles. Okay, I know it's an extreme story, but that is my story. My father did not want me to experience the pain of starting and losing a business that he did. So therefore, in his mind, he was thinking he was saving me from an inevitable failure. Does that make sense? So all because someone around you or in your circle, whether it be family or friends or girlfriend or boyfriend or spouse, all because they believe you can't do it doesn't mean you shouldn't do it. I find that a lot of people don't want to believe that anyone else can be better than their current level of environment. Remember back here? Here, number two environments, right? So if you're currently in a trailer park, right, or in the inner city or something like that, it's going to be more difficult, especially because of the people that are surrounding you in this environment, for you to choose better relationships to keep you moving forward and take you further up the tree. Does that make sense? Let me say it this way.

There are people in your life, unfortunately, as much as they love you and you love them, that you're going to have to step away from for just a few moments, maybe one to two years. Okay. My father, for example, that I gave you just a second ago, tried to talk me out of starting my business. And I told him there's something in me or something I got to do, right? And then I pursued it with all I had. Well, it took about three years for my hard work to begin to really start to pay off. And what happened was, is that three year time frame where I just went straight at it, no days off. In fact, for the first four years of my first business, I didn't take a single day off. I worked in the rain, I worked in the snow, I worked when I was sick and I worked during holidays. Okay, seven days a week. That's a pretty serious sacrifice. But that sacrifice beared fruit. Okay? Now three to four years into it, my business has started to bear fruit. So what did my dad do? He came to me. I always knew you could do it. I'm so proud of you. You're so. That's what I'm getting at. Sometimes the best way to help influence the relationships around you that you love, that maybe you're a little scared to walk away from is to actually go out and do it and show them it's possible. It wasn't a Year after that, that my father started pursuing some of his own dreams again. Right? Sometimes the greatest thing you can do is to go out and get it for yourself, to show people it's possible. And with enough work, enough knowledge, enough diligence, and enough patience, great things happen to great people. All right? So take an honest evaluation of your key relationship. Top five to ten people. Rate them on a scale of one to ten. Okay? How much value are they adding? And if they're not adding a lot of value, you need to change your relational circle. Why? Because your root system here is now feeding your overall nutrients of your entire life. Right? What does a tree trunk do? Okay, other than grow? Right. It feeds nutrients up and down the tree all the way out to the branches. That's why your relationships are so important, and that's why you shouldn't settle for relationships that aren't really helping you become more empowered. Now, I'm not talking about the kind of relationships that. Well, let's put it this way. It's like a great accountability partner. Like, if they believe. In other words, if they say, I believe you can do this, I'm worried about you hitting your head on this, then maybe you should pay attention. But if that person's coming to you and said, you can't do it, it's never been done before, it'll never happen again, then you should not listen to that and decide to do what we call with the grow framework, right? In the face to face lessons, also in whiteboard lessons. If you've never heard the grow process, I invite you to go check those videos out. The grow process is the easiest way to get breakthrough, like today, right? Gain perspective, recognize roadblocks, organize a plan, work a plan. All of those things, right? All of those things are going to help you take yourself forward. And as you do, you'll inspire other people to do something else. All right? We need to move on for the sake of time. All right? Situational influences, okay? When you look at a situational influence, a lot of time, that's where your emotional parts come out, your emotional states. Okay? You ever been to a. Maybe. Well, I've been to clubs back in the day. I don't go to clubs anymore, but I used to. I used to could kind of thing, okay? And the environment, the situation of the entire club, unfortunately, would determine whether or not we were dancing the night away or we were for, like. I hate to say this and acknowledge it, but it's true, right? Let's just call it what it is, hookups and all that. Kind of stuff, right? When you take all of that, you take all the dancing and stuff like that, the situation dictated whether or not it was a whoa night or if it was. Come on, dude, what you got? Kind of thing. You see what I'm saying? How you respond to situations currently may not be the best way for you to respond to situations in the future, right? A wise person knows when to walk away and when not to. If you are constantly motivated by emotional outburst or a triggered attitude of anger or resentment and stuff like that, that's coming from somewhere else, right? You see what I'm saying? So we want to identify that so we can move it, okay? So when you think about it, emotional states, attitudes are shaped here. Conflict resolution shaped here, okay? You see how important this stuff is, right? Everything we're talking about today is it really handles two things. How you make decisions and how you take action. When you can understand and change how you make decisions and how you take actions, you get to have predictable outcomes and results. And the ones you want, not the ones that you wake up the next morning. Like, why the heck did I do that? Are you kidding me?

Why? Because that stuff causes more pain than it's worth, right? So let's lean into progress. All right? Number five, this is my. Actually my favorite. This is. Everybody doesn't like it when I talk about this one, but let's just call it what it is, right? So if I was to go. Give me a break. Give me a break. Break me off a piece of that. You wanted to say Kit Kat bar, didn't you? Yeah, exactly. Subliminal influences are the things that come in our eyes and in our ears. In our eyes, inner ears, the movies you watch, the music you listen to. All of that is a design for subliminal influence, okay? Now, unfortunately, in America's society, subliminal influences are done specifically to market things to us. Music, movies, books, celebrities. You know, all of these things are designed to kind of make us kind of shift. This perfect example. So I like to work out at the gym, right? Six days a week, I'm in the gym. I can't help myself. It makes me feel good because my blood pumping makes me feel alive, right? Well, recently I was at the gym, okay? And a buddy of mine who's like COC Diesel, I mean, he's like the Rock and then Vin Diesel rolled up into one. Like, he's just shy of the Incredible Hulk. Like, he's that big, right? Love the dude to death. He's constantly coming in the gym. He's super friendly, super, like, charismatic. Hey, man, how's your mom and them? Like, he's got the Will Smith vibe going, right? Cool, dude. Okay? That is, until he puts music in his earbuds. Soon as he puts the apple, the Air, the AirPods Pro in his ears, and he starts working out. All of a sudden you see him just like.

And then he starts walking around the gym like this, slamming weights on the floor and all kinds of stuff. And if you go walk up and talk to him while he's in the middle of his workout, the dude will bark at you. And then after that, he goes, man, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that, man. I was just in the middle of my jam. If you took the earbuds out and listened to it, this is what you would hear.

Right? The music itself is intensifying a certain belief and behavior pattern, right? What type of music are you listening to? What type of music are you watching? Right. What type of TV shows are you watching? What type of entertainment are you listening to or watching? And things of that nature because it's shaping your overall worldview and belief system. And the last thing you want to do is have an entity shaping your belief system that does not have your best interest at heart. So be very, very careful on what you use when it comes to your subliminal influences. All right, before we end the video, let's go ahead and do a quick recap. All right, first of all, influence, number one, which is the seed of your heart, parental influences, shapes your forces of habit, your belief systems, and your worldview. Right? Some of the negative sides of that would be something like unworthiness, feeling unloved, or a lackluster meaning of significance. Okay? On the good side, it might mean you're empowered and encouraged to take a step forward. All right, Number two, environmental influences. Okay? The area in which you are planted, okay? Could be a city, could be a state, could be an economy, could be a community. Right? Each one of those has a micro influence, environmental influence. It controls things like how you speak, how you respond to people, and the tendencies in which you attack the world, so to speak. Okay? Also, keep in mind this tree we're trying to feed. Feed the nutrients up and make sure we're eliminating what we don't need. Okay, so environmental influences. Next one. Relational influences. Again, these are relationships that are not just romantic in nature, but vitally important. Right? Five friends, show me your future. Make sure the five closest people you're spending time with are amazing people. Okay? Romantic relationships. Co workers, family members, community all of these different areas are the areas in which you can have the possibility to have an amazing relationship. Okay? All right, next one, number four. Situational influences. Okay? Emotional states, your attitudes and how you deal with conflict resolution. How do you act when all things go great? And how do you act when all things are going not so good? Okay. Do you burst out anger and defensiveness or do you take a moment and compose yourself and get yourself together? Okay, again, so that one's an important one, right? Consider the situational influence. Right? Next one, number five. Subliminal influences. Anything that goes in your eyes or in your ears. Anything. Anything. Audio books, TV programs, movies, music. If it goes in your eye or in your ear, be very, very careful about what you actually put in your eyes and your ears. Okay? And that covers your complete tree of life, right? You may not been able to choose your parental influences, but you can choose what you get out of it. Get out of it. Now I got to separate those words. We're a little too close together. But anyway, you get the point, right? Take the good, eliminate the bad. Learn. Take that on. Okay, Same thing, the root system. Environmental influences. The same thing, man. You're making this tree of life either breathe and grow or unfortunately, you can kill it.

There were some truly wonderful people that unfortunately weren't able to understand their influences and the role those influences played on making their actions and decisions. And as a result, it's been harder to reach them. Now since we've been around, we've been able to help lots of people get fired finally get breakthrough. We want to encourage you to do the same thing. Alright? Just remember, if you don't watch your influences, you'll never be able to develop your future. So make sure you are intentional with your influences. Alright? Okay, that's it for today. I'll see you guys on the next video. Take care.

That's about all the time we have for today's whiteboard lesson. Hopefully that gave you some real value that you begin to put away right now. If you enjoyed today's video and you want to dig even deeper, I put together a free ebook called the Five Must have Principles for a Personal Breakthrough. If your goal is to make change in any area of your life, these five principles are absolutely necessary if you want to make that progress lasting. You can access that by clicking the link in the description below this video. Alright, you're up.