If You Want To Be SUCCESSFUL In Life, Master This ONE SKILL! | Mike Koenigs

If you could spend 99% of your time in your superpower, what Dan calls your unique ability, or what gay Hendricks calls your zone of genius, what is that? What would that be? What do you want to be known for and as where it's never work when you are there knowing that you had someone or a team taking care of everything else. So you could be your highest version of you.

Guys. I work with my good friend Mike Connick. Dude, how are you doing, man?

I'm good. I am having an extraordinary year and I'm scared like a good entrepreneur should be.

I think you would be a real entrepreneur without it. Right. So a little. A little fear, trepidation.

It's true. Just, I'm learning a lot more about my limitations and leaning into those.

Yeah.

And that's been. It's been a humbling year. And at the same time, I told you right before we started recording, I had the great opportunity this past year of being the prettiest girl in class because everyone wanted to learn about AI and I, you know, the doors opened up with more opportunities.

You've got so much content on AI, everybody has to go check out your YouTube channel and podcast. There is a tremendous amount of tools, resource, stuff like that. It's probably the most well thought out material that I've seen so far on the AI segment in this category of, like, accelerating a thought leadership, a digital presence, all that kind of stuff. I think it's fantastic, honestly, truthfully.

Wow. Thank you. That's very welcome.

Well, look, I want to jump straight in. One of the things that I love about your story a lot, obviously it's very broad, but the. One of the big things is, is the monumental success to the monumental struggle, and now to a global impact. So I'd like to kind of understand from your perspective, because I think one of the things that I think that draws down entrepreneurship, purpose, meaning it's. It's a. It's an understanding you don't get till after you've been an entrepreneur for a while, is the ability or desire to be an entrepreneur on purpose or with purpose or with impact in mind or with service in mind. And I know that what it appears to be. Yeah, right. So, like, break it down for the audience, because I want to get entrepreneurs started a little bit earlier on their journey of service and not just on the. On the shiny, flashy stuff that we tend to promote. You know, I'm a big believer in celebrating the sacrifice, not the success, because I figured that's where wisdom comes from.

Okay.

So ask me A really specific question. I'll give you a really specific answer. Otherwise it's blow up here because I can. I can start anywhere.

Yeah, well, that's. I mean, that's why I want to talk to you so much because. Because literally your. Your wisdom and experience is astounding. I tell. We'll go this direction. What is the first step an entrepreneur needs to take moving from.

Lack of purpose to operating in purpose or on purpose when they're business?

Well, I'll give you a formula that changed my life, and I wish I would have learned it sooner. And it's actually my second to the last book I wrote. And it all comes down to asking great questions. Is number two. The first one is being coachable.

I met Dan Sullivan, who's one of my greatest coaches. He turns 80 this year, 15 years ago. And I did not have the humility or the wisdom to accept the offer he gave me, which was to work with him as a coach. I didn't know how incredible that was, but also I didn't know how badly I needed it. And at that point, I had.

One of my companies. Traffic guys are an instant customer. So I was speaking all over the place on stages, talking about online marketing. And this is back when video marketing was still fairly new. Yeah, Social media was getting going this 2008, 2009 time frame, and I was prettiest girl in class, meaning I had so many opportunities, I'm on the road, speaking probably three out of four weeks. And.

My business was a disaster. You know, on the surface, it looked great. And look, I grew up not poor. I have a great family I came from. My dad was an amazing guy and.

But we didn't have, like. I didn't have mentors other than my dad. I grew up in a little town and. And we didn't have any money, so I had to really work my butt off. And the truth is, I ran away from being poor. I hated it. Yeah, I didn't like where I was from and I. I was not educatable. I'm so adhd.

Me too.

You know, what I've said before is like, I was like the kid in left field, and they let me play the last inning and I was out catching ma with my glove while the ball rolled by. Okay, That'll give you an idea who I was. And then people would be screaming at me, and I didn't hear them screaming at me. That's like I was in my own little world and nothing's really changed.

Ever since then, at heart, focusing on the Big vision. That's right.

That's right. But.

Back to like the big idea here. It's first of all, are you coachable? And you recognize the fact that someone else can see you better than the hallucination you see yourself through.

Most people never learn that ever. Like, it's sort of like, yeah, can you really see the truth? Not your truth. And the second one is when you learn how to ask some incredibly great questions. One of the greatest questions that I've ever heard is also known as the Dan Sullivan question. I'm giving Dan a lot of credit in this today, but I just spent a couple days with him, and the Dan Sullivan question would go like this. Hey, Stephen, if you and I were sitting down three years from today, what will have happened personally and professionally for you to be happy with your progress?

Oh, wow. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. And if I asked you that question right now, what would Stephen say?

So I celebrating. Yeah, I would literally say this. I would say I want to be Steve Marek to as many people as humanly possible. So I don't know, it has a def. A defined deadline.

So.

Steve Merrick was my first mentor that led me from homelessness to building large businesses. Much like Dan touched your life.

I've learned that he created a legacy that outlived me or I'm sorry, outlived him through me. And it's my job to do the same. And if I can do that for as many lives as possible, then what happens is that I have ultimately served at scale, whether that's through digital courses or speaking or authorship or helping brands or just talking to wonderful people like you and putting great thought leadership out in the world. All of those allow me to do that.

Okay.

Can we continue to play it? Can I ask you another question?

Yeah, let's go. Let's have some fun.

Okay. All right, so the next question to ask is, all right.

So what's preventing you from being there or having that right now? What's standing in your way? What are the dangers that prevent that from happening?

So the, the roadblocks or the impediments right now are the infrastructure of the platform itself is not fully finished, but it's ongoing.

More clarity needed around the entrepreneur that I really can serve because because of my experience, it's very broad. I can really serve the startup guy because like you, you and I built businesses from nothing to be, you know, pretty good size organizations and beyond. We both exited businesses. So I have experience there. I have experience running eight, nine figure business. So you see what I'm Saying so it's, there's a very broad thing, but when I look at my, myself as a DNA, am I this, am I really called to the six figure entrepreneur, the seven figure entrepreneur, the eight figure entrepreneur. So it's kind of like getting, getting really super clear on honing in that niche to make sure that when I do give an hour or, or, or serve in an hour of time, I get five hours in return because of massive compounding.

Yes. Great. So when you think about that right now. And by the way, I'm going to meta, teach a little bit. So I'm going to explain what I'm doing while I'm helping you and while we help your audience.

Yeah, sounds good.

Which is the, the first question really has to do with. Share with me your greatest vision of who you could be or who you want to be. And look, you don't need to know anything about anything or anyone to ask that question. And it inspires a great response. And really what I heard you say is someone touched my life so much, I want to have the same effect on them that they had on me. Right. And.

You pretty much said, whether it's through digital courses or authorship or helping brands, you don't care about the vehicle or the media as long as you get to live inside that.

Yep.

And also to connect with other creator visionaries. Just like me.

Exactly.

Meaning I'm saying like you. So what you seek is a deeper connection really with yourself so you can experience yourself. It's like I happen to believe that God defines God by being God and creating all the time.

100. Yeah, 100%.

And, and so when I ask what is preventing you is. It sounds like my sense is you've got a lot of opportunities around here. But. And this is where I'm going to color. I'm going to basically paint on top of. And I normally don't do this, but I'm going to do it for illustration.

We're going to have fun, dude. Let's have some fun.

I only listen and reflect back what I hear.

Yeah.

But what I actually interpreted is I haven't chosen my perfect audience I wish to serve yet. I have more opportunity than focus.

Wow.

And I also want to compound. So in other words.

You are realizing how valuable your time is. And, and as we age, you know that that precious commodity goes away and you'll at some point, you know, like the people I love to work with are those who have more money than time.

Yeah.

They've had that moment and they're like, oh, damn.

Yeah.

Oh, damn.

But on that point, real fast, before we move on.

Yes.

I think this is an important note because this, this is one of those pivotal conversations that created a life shift for me. Like two. Two years might have been a year ago. Two. Almost two years ago, somewhere in that window. Okay, My oldest son came to me and all my kids are non biologically mine. So I've either adopted kids or.

Wow. And how old is this one?

This one is now 23. And we were having an honest conversation. He watched me. He and his brother had watched me build and scale a large organization.

And I had made it to all the band things. You know, he was. He was a drum major. And I made it to my son's football games. I'd done that and spend time with my daughter. Like, I, I worked really hard to try to find balance, which is a. Which is something that entrepreneurs always struggle with. Okay, so we'll, we'll touch on that in a second. And my audience has heard me say this before, but I'll say it again because I think it's, It's. It's powerful enough that it needs. Needs repeating in that. He said, I have one thing that you could do to make yourself a better father. Just one thing. He said, you're. He said, I couldn't ask for a better dad. Like, this one thing would mean the world to me. If you can figure this one thing out.

Butts coming right up. I can feel this one a million miles away.

He says.

He says, but if you can learn to be present when you're present, it would mean the world to us.

Oh.

So as we're positioning now that I've exited a large company that used to take an enormous amount of my time, and I get to. I've moved from what I had to do or thought I wanted to do. Wanted to do for a while, had to do that how to do Nan. To really getting into the zone of doing what I want to do, which is serving entrepreneurs and leaders and helping them grow and expand. Okay. I'm very cognizant about the amount of time that I'm pouring into business mode versus family mode because I have additional children essentially, that have shaped up in the last year or two with a new relationship and stuff like that. And I'm trying to be more intentional because I. I try to learn from past behaviors, past choices on finding that increment. So I say all that to say that while my heart is to serve at scale, and I'm. Obviously, you are correct in the amount of focus.

My Mind is also consciously aware of staying away from workaholism and doing that by compounding time. So I invest an hour, I pick up five. I do the same thing with money. So if I invest a dollar, I want five in return. Kind of same. It's kind of same. Same principle. But I'm hyper attuned to not overworking or over committing. So I'm getting really good at saying more nos than yeses when I used to be a yes guy all day long. Yeah.

Okay, I'm gonna give you a big freaking gift in a second, my friend. But first I have to ask you another question. Okay, let's do it deeper. So if you again, take what your son said to you, your 23 year old, and he said if you would just be more present when you're present, which is what do you think.

Not being present either now or in the past is costing you and has cost you in terms of realizing your bigger vision and dream of yourself that you just described to me.

Let me check my heart for a second.

I would say.

The influence I've given the world has not been equal amount the influence I give my family.

So therefore, key attributes of DNA that the world's benefited from from stages and whatever. My kids need the same level of character building and moral development and decision making and.

Filtering of conflict and things of that. Things that I do, I do now naturally that I teach the world to do unless they're consuming my content. They should know the information before the world knows it is what I'm getting at. So I think there's. There's a cost there.

For sure.

Let me just feel into that one. I'm going to feel back.

All right.

I'm going to give you a.

It's a pretty close to relevant gift again, so I'm going to again go to the meta for a second. So we talked about your greatest vision of your self.

And this is all about asking great questions which you don't need to know anything about. So we asked the Dan Sullivan question, followed by the dangers that prevent you from getting there. And as you answered that, you had this insight, which is about being present. And then I asked you, what's that costing you? And you really felt into that. You took a moment and you thought about it.

Mm.

And.

My kids need the same level of character building and moral development and decision making and filtering of conflict and things of that nature. Things that I now do naturally, but I teach the world to do unless they're consuming my content, right?

Yeah, unless they're consuming My content. They're not learning it.

Yeah. So there's golden in there. Hales. We could spend hours mining that. Getting back to what's the most important thing of all. It's like asking. Asking great questions. Asking great questions. You can solve any problem. Yeah. You can sell anything. You can transform and change the world. When you get someone to really feel something deeply. Okay. So I'm going to just take a detour because I got two other questions for you. But I'm going to give you the detour, which is how I stay present and committed is anytime someone asks something of me of anything, one of the things I know about myself which is a. Know thyself. If there were. The third rule is do every possible personality test you can. Like the Kolbe Colby.

Yeah.

Values.

Yeah. Just strengths finder that like all of them, the more the better. Print. I'm an 8. 3. And on a Colby scale, I'm a 3. 195 for people don't know what that is. I'm a three fact finder. Which means I'm pretty intuitive. My suspicion is you're probably the same way. Like you're on your feet. You're like boom, boom, boom. I know what to do. You have good intuition. You're. You got to kill our mindset.

Right. Yeah.

Follow through. Don't know you well enough to know. But like I'm a one team for.

That to do it well.

You're a what?

I need a team for that to do it well.

Me too. So when I'm a one and I'm going to get to what that means in a second. It basically means I have to do it now or ain't gonna get done. I have a rule in. In my life. This came from a lot of hard knocks. I don't do homework.

Yeah.

I never did. Yeah. You know, the truth is because I had such, you know, and I was never diagnosed with adhd. No one knew what it was. There was no whatever it was. Just like I got the attention span of a bag of Natson amphetamines. Unless.

Unless it's something you're interested in. You can hyper focus for days.

Or I have my reputation on the line or there's ors here. Someone else's life depends on me. I'll find a way. But it means if someone asked me to do something, I'll do it now. I'll schedule it if it's valuable. And now I know the value of my time. So I say as long as it's worth this to you and this to me, I'll schedule it or I delegate or the answer is no. That way my reputation isn't damaged.

Yeah.

Okay. So. And then the Colby scale, when you go down, then there is quick start, which means you do it. Now I'm a nine, which basically means, you know, I can be interpreted a lot of different ways. It could mean you're, you know, chase shiny objects or you know, what you want when you want it, and you do it right now.

Yep.

It's useful. And then the. The implementer is the last one. So I'm a five, which basically I'm. I got an engineer's mind as a programmer and all that. Most CEOs are low implementer because they delegated everything they find. Who's to get it done.

Yeah, yeah. It's. My brain thinks if. In terms of if this, then that. So I'm very strategically minded. Yeah.

Yep. Yep. And my suspicion is you're also have a great geometric mind. You can look at something and spatially know where things fit. You can look at buildings and understand and realize them and make things real.

Yeah.

In your head first. Right.

100. I can see it finished before it happens.

So let's deconstruct what's going on here by asking you these questions. I'm getting to know you, your real you really fast. And. And we're building this intimacy. And intimacy is like.

You know, no one has time.

Yeah.

It's like, what's the most valuable resource anyone has? It's their attention.

Yeah.

And you can't let anyone steal that from you. But you don't steal it when you're creating a deep bond by asking great questions.

Sure.

All right, so you're ready for the next question.

Let's do it.

All right. Let's do it. Okay. So, Steven, I want you to think of right now like if you got to realize your greatest vision of yourself, your greatest purpose of yourself in the future.

Which is giving the way your mentor gave to you, and let's say that the dangers that stand in your way of intimacy and presence, knowing that you've got incredibly valuable content and you wouldn't spend any time there, you were present all the time. What kind of opportunities do you know in your heart you could be taking advantage of that you aren't right now when those things are taken care of. So what. What do you think your highest purpose opportunities are?

Highest purpose opportunities? I'll tell you what's actually going on. I've been welcome into.

In the last year, specifically very successful circles. Very successful Circles.

I've seen a commonality in those very successful circles. Only about 50% of the people who are very successful are very happy.

Which is pretty interesting.

Ain't that a. Yeah.

So that is offered a unique perspective. So there's an opportunity to build greater connections, to build my team of eight, because my team has. I have three chairs of eight, so I got five more chairs to fill.

I would say that because of the unique awareness, I've already been more aware with all of my children and being more present when I'm present. Phone down, computer off.

Elevating that time over. What I would, you know, another. Another chance to make more money, which is now money is almost irrelevant. It's kind of a. It's not even a metric I really pay attention to anymore. It's. It's not a meaningful tool. I much prefer to chase impact.

I think what's happening right now is, as a person of faith, God has been opening bigger doors because I've been a good steward of smaller hurdles.

Honestly. So I think there's an opportunity to continue to step on larger stages, which means I can use one hour of my time and affect more lives simultaneously. Because of larger stages, I think there's an opportunity to focus in on content that I actually want to talk about, that I actually feel in my heart that I need to talk about. I gave you an example of that kind of as we're getting going, which is the. I want entrepreneurs to celebrate their sacrifices. You know, I want them to plan in such a way that allows them to.

Honestly be able to evaluate at any given moment what they should say yes to and what they should say no to based on the priorities that are in their heart. In other words, I want. I want entrepreneurs to learn to live from the inside out. And most entrepreneurs never do that until they've gone through situations like you and I have that have been life threatening and life changing. And then all of a sudden, you get hyper aware. Right. I would rather be a. An evangelist of that. So they get started earlier so they suffer less. I think that that's an opportunity how I see it.

And I'm trying to think of how to unpack all that.

That's big.

Sorry. It's a deep will.

Oh, that's good. It's.

Just so you know what I'm doing right now. So whenever I.

Do an interview, I also run.

Voice transcription software called Otter in the background. So I can see your words.

Yeah.

While I'm feeling into them.

Yeah. I watch you do that with Allison.

Okay. Yeah, yeah. And that. And like whenever I get to do that because, because you can't trust what your ears think they're hearing and you can trust your eyes when they're someone else's words is. And I try to remove all my filters, my feeling filters. So I'm. I'm a vessel, right? Yeah. Yeah. And so.

I'm going to re ask you that question again because now that you've had a chance to go through that and describe it, I'm going to re ask you which are. And you started out by I've been introduced into more successful circles and I'm realizing that they aren't happy. So I originally asked you the question.

What kind of opportunities do you want to take advantage of right now? That either you can't or you aren't because of the intimacy, the dangers or maybe you haven't realized before what you. You wanted from yourself. You may not have had the clarity. So I'm, I'm re asking it to ask for a shorter version of that. So what would your summary of the opportunities in front of you be?

High quality of that you can't.

There you go. Go ahead.

Yep. Larger platforms for impact.

Yep.

More intentional time with those that I love.

Great.

So higher quality relationships. So. And again I'm gonna, I'm gonna interpret what I hear. So my sense is what you seek are as you evolve and you're reaching a new layer and a new level of self realization and fulfillment, you want other people who have shared common values. In other words, you seek more connection with a tribe like you who are on the same path, the same direction.

And a larger volume of them so you can have more impact and the ones you are connected with have more valuable, deep intimate time with. Is that fair to say?

Thousand percent. Yep.

Okay, great. Now look how, look how much I'm learning about you. And I can feel into you because I just asked you some good questions and clarifying questions. Right.

Man, this isn't anything you don't already know. Right. You know, your foundational part of what you say on your own website is, you know, you were asked two questions.

Yeah, that's right.

Right. And it's about becoming awake. Steve Merrick shocked me out of my stupor with two simple questions and a challenge to back it up.

Man. To be awake. And that still is what you seek.

Yeah.

And. And we all do, you know, that is what we all is. How do we have a more divine relationship with our creator? Whether that's for internal creator or external creator, whatever our value system or belief System is.

Yeah. Mike, don't you find it interesting that once you've been awakened, you want to be the person that runs around shaking everybody awake?

Well, okay, I'm going to. I'm going to parry that. I'm going to dodge and parry. So my wife Vivian, used to work. Used to run marketing for Deepak Chopra.

Okay.

And Deepak used to say to her, beware the recently converted.

Oh. So I'm gonna say this. I hope it's not offensive, but, like, someone who's been recently converted and has been saved to be like, man, I don't want to be in that room.

Yeah. And it'll be like, so again, I'm going to say something that's purposely intended to be inflammatory, which would be like, there's two reasons why I'm not. Like, I grew up Catholic. I spent a lot of time in church. I was an altar boy. Never molested. And that's funny in some circles, but.

But it's funny and challenging at the same time.

Yeah, totally. But the point is, it'd be like. I can't remember. It was like.

Mark Twain said something like, the reason I'd never, you know, join your group, whatever it is, is because I wouldn't join a group that would accept me. And that sounds like it comes from a source of pain. But more importantly, it'd be like, I never want to be around a lot of judgment. I want to be around openness.

Yeah.

And desire to seek the truth and to ask the hardest questions imaginable, even if they defy my core beliefs. So I love and respect and trust and honor those that channel my hallucinations.

Yeah. Thousand percent right. Yeah.

Where else do you get that growth from? Because, you know, we're all fallen angels.

My grandfather told me one time, he said, you have to be willing to dig past the answers that you want.

Yeah. Oh, man. That's a.

That's a good question. We almost always stop at the answers that we want and never push past for truth.

Yes. So if we go back to when you.

Asked me that question, do I want to go around and shake people? The answer is, I don't any longer. I'll tell you what I seek. I want to be around those who have already realized that being coachable. So in other words, I don't want to shake the unawakened. I'm not interested in that battle or that fight.

Yeah. Especially if they're.

I choose. I choose not to engage with mental illness. Yeah. Because until someone says, I want help, I need help, I ask for help. I have zero interest in investing my, My energy in a fight against an ego.

Yeah.

And I think the only time you're ready for help is when you ask for it. Otherwise, it's a fight. And I, I just, like, I gave up. I just quit that.

Yeah.

I have no interest in it any longer. It's. You and I had a conversation before the camera rolled, which is, you know, if you have ever dealt with an addict before.

Until they hit their lowest low.

And they ask for help and, and, and get there. All it is is lies upon lies upon lies upon lies. They're going to get their fix.

Yeah.

And, and so when, when someone is deep in. In their deepest state of hallucination and illusion and anger, and it's actually directed at themselves.

They can't see the light.

Yeah. Yeah.

So that took me a long way to a long time to answer that question, but that's how I got there.

No, it was honest. It was an honest answer. And I can totally see that perspective because I have coached very successful people that asked me for advice and strategy and tactics, and then they do absolutely none of it. They come back a month later. They're.

They weren't seeking the truth. That's why.

Yeah. It's like. And I'm like, you know what? I'm not, I'm not your coach. I'm sorry. Like, I, I, I only want to work with people that are serious. So that makes total sense to me. Yeah. You know?

Yeah.

Now my heart. On my heart side, I wish everybody was awake to receive what could be their destiny rather than walking around and sleepwalking through life. So that's my heart. But the mind says exactly what you mentioned.

Well, those are those who smoke hopium.

Yeah. I think that's an old Tony Robbins ism. I've always loved it. All right, so I'm gonna ask you one more question. That. Which will kind of bring this back to. So the questions were the Dan Sullivan question. Your future focused self. Dangers that prevent you, and what is it costing you? The opportunities you wish you could take advantage of that you aren't. And then my last big question is, all right, Steven, I want you like you've gone through a hell of a road to get to where you are. You've had your ups and downs and lots and lots of downs. And now if you could spend 99% of your time in your superpower, what Dan calls your unique ability or what Gay Hendricks calls your zone of genius, what is that? What would that be? What do you want to Be known for and as where it's never worth work when you are there knowing that you had someone or a team taking care of everything else. So you could be your highest version of you.

There are three things. One, I would give meaningful messengers a voice.

Okay so that's, and how that, how that looks business wise right now is taking, call it, call it CNB list thought leaders and helping them actually get their craft together so they can stand on the a large platform. Because I've discovered that most people can't put the back end together even though they've got a powerful message to carry. So if I can help them fix the back end structure, structure, I can help them carry the message. That's one major one.

I am an evangelist at heart. So when I, when I speak from stage, for example, I'm speaking from a very real authentic place. I'm not cookie cutter, I'm not canned, I'm not super. I mean I'm not overly polished, I know what I'm doing but I'm not overly polished intentionally because that is my tool to awaken those that wish to be awakened. Okay, so that's two. The third one is I want to be a excellent father sl husband role model because again my kids are part of my legacy. You know, they are, they're an extension of that legacy that outlives me. There's, there's a Steve Meyer component which is the evangelistic side. You know, there's the, the, the, the part of going so long before quote unquote being discovered. I mean I was never quote discovered. I just kept working right and became more I guess notable as, as I worked. But there's a piece of, there are a lot of great message messengers that could use some help get you know, getting themselves together, you know, getting themselves up where they can be seen. So there's all those different pieces. So those, that's my, my trinity of sorts. It's the helping messengers win, helping my message be heard and helping my family know I, that I care. It's most simplistic factor.

It's good.

It's your.

Amplifier multiplier is my way of breaking that down. And in a way, you know, that's part of your attraction as a leader is to have this podcast and to find and seek other like minded values compatible leaders to co amplify with you. And.

That'S good. And my suspicion is that.

You want to find the three or five year ago you looking for.

I've always said the greatest purpose of serving the person used to be. Yep, yeah, yeah.

And tap in that little conscious domino or maybe a physical domino or whatever it is. So they have an, a moment of courage and confidence boosting. And I can do this and know that they've got a friend who cares.

So that's great. So what, when you go through this process.

What have you.

Is there anything you've realized or learned about you that you haven't thought about or you haven't sandwiched or put together? If you have a, a walk away takeaway.

Something different or unique or special that you may not have felt or experienced before and you know, the answer doesn't have to be yes, I'm genuinely just asking that question. I'm curious what you just experienced.

So if I. I'm sure you've seen a sniper rifle and you know how a scope works, right? So you're on, you've got a rifle, man.

I grew up.

This is the imagery I've got in my head. So, okay, there is a way to obviously tighten a certain scope where it goes from a really broad scope to a really narrow scope to a finite scope. I've gone from broad to closer and on my way to finite, I would say, just from the conversation today. So focus is what we started with as being a possible impediment or roadblock, and that has been narrowed.

Good. So.

So it's a great gift. So again, you had asked me, you know, what, what are some of these things? So I believe that, number one, it's being coachable. Number two, it's asking great questions. These are some of the best questions I've ever put together and assembled. It's, frankly, it's the best sales process you can imagine because you can literally sell anything to anyone if you know how to ask these questions and get to an emotional reason why. And it's a great way to know someone and build trust. And then a third is valuing your time. So here's how I, I do that, which is going to get back to. I'm going to, I'm doing this to illustrate and get to another question I'm going to ask you. And a gift we can give each each other. Okay. So. So at this time, I value my time at a minimum of $10,000 per hour. Okay. And when people work with me, I charge $150,000 for three days.

Really 150 for two. But I give that, as I get more done, we have more intimate time. And I only work with someone if I know for a fact I can produce a million dollars worth of value in 100 days from the time we work together. And I basically build brands and businesses. You do AI and all this other stuff. And I'm really, really good at it. I've got an amazing team. So someone asked me to do something, I look at it and I go, all right, well, I'm either going to do it with you now and it. It should take a few minutes, or we're going to schedule it and I'm going to invest $10,000 in you, and it's probably going to cost me a couple hours in the front and backside to get prepared and think about it and think about you. There's an opportunity cost. It's really a. It's probably a 75 to $100,000 opportunity cost to invest an hour with or for someone.

Yep.

And I also look at it and go, it's. I'd like to do everything with everyone and say yes to everything as my normal tendency. But now I value my time so highly, I'd be like, I'd rather spend it with my wife of now 20, going on 24 years, 100%. I'd rather invest it with my son, just like you. You've got your family or my table of eight, the people I'm most int. And so for that, you know, if someone just says, well, I'll just pay you for your time, I'll be like, all right. But if I don't feel like I'm creating a multiplier, effective impact, meaning or your $10,000, you should get 30 to $100,000 worth of value that you can realize quickly. And it, again, it has everything and nothing to do with the money. This is not a money thing. It's about energy and focus and purpose. Right. And impact and coachability, which is. Can I create a multiplier effect? And if you don't have a measurer, a measuring stick of some nature.

Sure.

Just turns out that money and energy are effectively the same thing, as is power. So I think that is my other answer. And if anyone has had a kid before, especially a boy, knows that boys are unfocused. They don't value their time. They're gonna disassociate, associate themselves. They're going to distract themselves. And getting focused attention, getting intimacy is very challenging for the male brain.

Yeah.

And the. And the feminine brain oftentimes will.

Invest in saving or fixing something that isn't ready to be saved or fixed yet.

Agreed.

Again, these are only tendencies. And I'm speaking of the masculine and feminine. Not necessarily.

I would say, in terms of Maturity and immaturity. So immaturity, yeah, that's your tendency and immaturity. And as you mature, as you self develop self. Awake and self discover self explore, self evaluate, you become more mature to more intimacy is easier than maybe it could have been prior. You and I are brothers right now. We've had some pretty deep conversation that we're going to share with the world already and neither one of us are bothered by that. We actually find it cool and exciting.

And though you know like when you're.

Transparency is fascinating. Right. How old are you? I haven't asked yet.

I just turned 48.

48, okay. So I got, I got just 10 years on you and I think this is what happens when you reach a point of having less or nothing to prove.

Now I still do stupid stuff and I get tricked into like my ego, it'll be like, I gotta swing that, you know, give me that sledgehammer. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what I meant.

Yeah.

Right. You walk into the room and bat. Bap, bap. But you know, you know, whatever that need is of being seen in and seen through force versus power and that distinction. Right, yeah. Power versus force. God, what a great book. Have you read that?

I have to check it out.

Oh my God.

This is a game changing book. And it's Hawkins. I think it's Stephen Hawkins. Just second here. I'll tell you in just one moment. Yeah. David R. Hawkins. Power versus force. Okay. It's the hidden determinants of human behavior. But it's.

Really, really, you understand.

Some fundamental first principles. Thinking cannot recommend it highly enough. So I'll put that into chat for you for distribution later. But. Yeah. Masterpiece. Okay, back to you, Bob.

All right, well, five. All right, so we got the five to 10 minutes we got left. We've. I think we've actually walked through a process that is a start of reinvention. Which is something I wanted to mention talk to you about because.

Yeah.

Especially if you're an entrepreneur. It's not a matter of if. It's a matter of when you're going to face a major adversity or a setback that you're going to have to decide work through coming back from and reinventing yourself. You and I have both been through major business reversals. I don't know a single successful entrepreneur that hasn't seen them. So I want to maybe dig into the importance of reinvention. I think the, the question pro. The process we just did was super powerful and is definitely a, a key piece of that. But I I'd be curious to know if there's what other insights you would want to share on that particular subject.

Yes.

So first of all, just a little backstory because this will help frame this.

God, I can't believe how much I'm talking about them today. But I'm going to do it again. So, Dan Sullivan, I do this podcast called Capability Amplifier. And the first episode, he sat me down and he said, as far as I can tell, you've reinvented yourself at least six times.

Walk me through them. And, and no one had ever asked me that before. But the, the process was essentially.

You know, my first major reinvention was when I went for very. I, I'm, I'm a bad employee. But I, I started my first real business. Okay. It's unemployable. Yeah.

I took a street spider, said if I was anything other than entrepreneur, I'd be screwed.

Yeah. Yes. Yeah. There's going cult or religion. I'm going to be starting it, not being part of it.

Yeah.

And. And the same is true with businesses. So I went from being a programmer, I wrote software and then video games. And then I started a company with then my best friend who became a script writing partner. And we made a feature film together, but it was called Digital Cafe. It was a digital marketing agency, one of the first. And then we sold that to a large multi billion dollar conglomerate called I Campbell Methoon. SD was a billion dollar agency. And then I started a couple software companies, had a couple things in between consultancies, and then started Traffic as their instant customer. Software businesses made a feature film in between there and then did.

Another business, another business, and the one I'm doing now. And.

In between.

I ended up the business I really do now is I reinvent. And I actually brought the book, it's called you'd Next Act. So I ended up writing this book called you'd Next Act.

Let's go.

And it's really about the pain that every founder has, especially when they've reached a point like you have of having like an eight figure exit is a little bit of is this all there is? And I've got a friend who just had a nine figure exit. So he has a lot of cash, he put on a lot of weight, he drinks too much. And you get a bad case within 18 months of something called the don't want us. And the probability of men over the age of 50 ever being successful again who don't get back in the game within eight months is less than 5%.

Wow.

Oh, hell yeah.

So, funny story. I'll make this super quick because I want to continue your thoughts.

Fine.

My. So I'm. I'm like, you. So I have coaches and stuff in different sectors. I got a life coach. I exit the business on December 29th. On December 30th, he and I have a call. He's like, hey, dude, you probably should take the whole month off. Like, it's 25 years of your life. Disassociate. Like, just kind of like, breathe. I immediately get done with the call. I come upstairs and talk to Chass. Chastity, who's. Who's my girlfriend, and I say, hey, I'm just this. The coach, you know, this life coach that has to do this. Her first word, she goes, oh, I don't think that's a good idea. I don't think that's a good idea at all. And I'm like, well, you know, he's my life coach. I'm gonna try to listen to about two. Two weeks in, maybe two and a half weeks in. She's like, babe, you gotta get back to work. You're driving me crazy. Yep.

Yeah. So idol hands do the devil's work. Idle hands do the devil's work. Yep. So anyway, we are not meant to not be on purpose all the time. And there's a very big difference between a vacation and. And here's what happens. The longer you wait, your confidence wanes and your sense of purpose and value. Like, we. We need feedback. You know, warriors need constant feedback in order to stay strong.

Yep.

And it's like if you put a leg in a cast, what happens to it?

Yeah, yeah. It gets immobilized. And then you gotta go through physical therapy just to get it to work again.

Totally. You lose your muscles so fast, and that's what happens. And I, I. And I hope this doesn't get interpreted the wrong way. It's like, that's what happens to killers. You can't. You're like, when is a lion not a lion? When it's in a cage.

Yeah. Yeah.

And. And you cannot put lions in cages and expect them to still be lions. And like, creators, your creative muscle, your survival muscle, I think they're all the same. So, getting back to reinvention, what I've found is what all founders, especially founders and entrepreneurs, need after they have their win. And if they. They, especially those who reach what they thought was their finish line, first of all, they find out the reason why they're not happy is that finish line was an absolute lie. It's an illusion and it's usually something you fell in love with or someone told you they think that you wanted 20 years ago. Okay. And you just haven't checked in with that hallucination in a long time.

Yeah.

And so I like to say here's what I and I practice this. I pitched it like hell and I've sold a lot of them. What I, what I've found when I talk to founders is what you want is a business you'll love for the rest of your life. High net, low overhead, fewest moving parts is few or no employees as possible. Feeling creative in your state of vision that allows you to grow and evolve and only working with people you genuinely love. Like the people you'd want to meet their spouse and hang out with them and go on vacations and create with and make something new with. And they're like yeah, that, yeah.

It's funny you say that when I, the last business I built was, was a good sized company with a few hundred team members. When you factor in the contractors that worked on a day, day out basis.

Yeah.

Well. And I started the company with a hammer and a nail. So go figure. The. I did tell my, my now CEO CFO that's now managing members of the business. I told them, I said guys, I wish you the best. You guys are gonna be amazing. I'm here to support you as you need. He said and I, but I will never build a business this big ever again.

No. It's horrible.

Yeah. A 30, 40 million dollar business. Seven or eight team members. I'm happy, I'm good. That's, that's more than enough to share and, and blood and like really bless the team members that are part of the team. So they're really invested, you know.

Yeah.

And you know, travel and do fun stuff, you know, and hang out with cool people like you and a lot of our mutual friends. I don't know, it's just, it's a cool, it's a cool thing. It's a cool, a cool new season.

It, it is. And if you're not evolving quickly, like I said, idle hands do the devil's work. And.

The there. First of all, there's no finish line and the only retirement is dead.

Yeah.

And.

And no purpose is what happens. And I think when you're honest with yourself and know that the thing that you are heading towards this is just the nature of nature is as soon as you hit that finish line, first of all, you're not going to care about it anymore. I used to use this, it's not that effective. But I used to say if you ask a 4 year old what you want, they'd be like, I want a million gumballs. And. And it's like, okay, so let's say you're 20 years old and you strike it rich and you're like, why the.

Yeah, yeah, totally. And I'll be like, I can remember.

This is actually bumpy as crap, but knock yourself out. Sorry.

Yeah, well, when I.

When I sold my last business, I had a picture of a Lotus. I like fast cars. Like, me too. Yeah. You know? Yeah. And so I, I told myself when I sold my, My next business, I'm going to go buy a car and I want to have enough money in the bank that when I stroke a check for cash, I don't even know it's missing. There you go. That was a, that was a good feeling. And I did it.

Yeah.

And the car got delivered and I went out for my first ride and I was like, yep, all done now still the car. Yeah, I like it.

Yeah.

But I don't. It doesn't. Like, I, I'm at that stage old enough where. And we're just doing this this weekend, we got rid of like more than half of all the stuff in our garage. Just. Yeah. And I just, I have this new rule which is put all in a pile and if I don't look at it every six months, I'm gonna just throw it all away and I'll never even know. Now I've thrown away stuff like my old class high school class ring and a whole bunch of other stuff that you could say is valuable. But yeah, it's, it's meaningless stuff. It's just an anchor weighing down and they're old memories that don't serve any longer.

Yeah.

So, boy, I just blathered on about a bunch, a whole bunch of nothing there.

Well, we'll definitely have to bring you on for another show because we're a few minutes over. But where do you want everybody to come and learn more about you? And, and you know, because obviously the AI thing is huge. You're leading the way with it.

Yeah.

You've got. Obviously there's so much, there's so much the, that the audience can benefit from. You.

Okay, I'll give you two things. And I'm sorry I went on and on like that.

It's quite all right.

For one thing, I already mentioned this. So we can give away this book, your next act, and it's a.

You can grab it@mikecandings.com Unstoppable. So I put up that link just for you, and you can have it. And then I also have a really cool tool I've been working on.

So I am way in love with AI, as you know, and I built a platform.

That you can talk to. So it basically solves one of the biggest problems that every business has, which is.

If you're a business owner, founder, we're all usually bad at following up with leads as they come in and telling them a consistent story.

Very true.

And I'll put this in chat.

But.

This platform, what it does is it. It'll take a lead, it'll research them, so it'll look them up.

And qualify them, visit their LinkedIn profile, learn about them, and then follow up with an AI audio mic, an AI video mic, and an AI report about your better future. And I built it as a platform, and the whole idea is to help business owners and founders.

Do what we have a hard time doing, which is finding and hiring teams that follow up fast and. And are consistent messengers and deliver the right message to the right prospect in the right language that's meaningful to them, which is really what our podcast is about today.

Yeah. No, I love it. And, you know, and I'm actually kind of. I'm really happy that we spent so much time actually going inside, because that's. That's. You and I have learned that's a. That's a secret sauce to a. I wouldn't call it success. I would call it to fulfillment. Yeah. Because success, as you mentioned before, it moves it. It changes. It reshapes itself. You know, it's. It's a constant goalpost that's being moved. So, dude, Mike, I can't thank you enough for coming on the show, man. We'll absolutely do this again. You got a new. You got a new friend and a brother on this side, so thank you so much, dude.

It's totally my pleasure. Thanks for having me. And I'm glad we got to go deep. And you started it with great questions that led to great answers.

Amen to that. We'll make sure everything's in the show. Notes. You guys can check out. Mike, you need to go check his workout. He's phenomenal. Human being, phenomenal. The work is just impeccable. So go check it out. We'll see you guys again on the next topic. We'll take care. I hope you liked that video, and if you did, make sure you check out this next video right here.

Just because you're profitable does not mean that that's what's in the bank. Profit is not the same as cash management. You have to keep your business expenses and your business bank account separate from your personal bank account.