Self-Sabotage, Developing Confidence, Doing The Work | Life-Mastery Q&A

All right, today's question is, why don't I do the things I know I should do? I think a lot of us actually struggle with that particular question. A lot of us wake up each day with a to do list knowing that we should take action on certain things and a lot of things getting our way. One of those is self sabotage. One of those is not feeling like you're valuable enough to actually get a positive result. So we want to take the time to make sure we're addressing self sabotaging behaviors by maybe getting a good mentor, a good accountability partner to hold us accountable when we're making bad decisions or taking bad actions that come directly from our insecurities. The second thing is a lot of people don't like to get outside of their comfort zone. Your comfort zone will hold you back probably bigger than a lot of things. Why? Because it's your normal, right? You get up each day, you comb your hair a specific way. You brush your teeth a specific way, you get dressed a specific way. And over time, that becomes comforting. What you don't realize is when you actually aim to grow and actually grow big and become something pretty phenomenal, you're gonna have to get outside of your comfort zone over and over and over and over again. So much so that my comfort zone is actually getting outside of my comfort zone on a regular basis. I have a tendency to lean into conflict. I've got a tendency to lean into growth. I've got a tendency to lean into perseverance and diligence and resolve. All of those are attributes of forcing myself to get outside of my comfort zone. You can use the same tools, the same skill set in order to do the same thing, right? Always put yourself out there. Always do one thing every single day that's just outside of your comfort zone, right? It doesn't have to be leaps and bounds, but just a little bit. And that little bit can actually bring you some value. The third thing is eliminate distractions. So many times people get distracted. I'm a squirrel person. Squirrel. And I'm running around like crazy, right? Distractions kill confidence and kills consistency. It's not fair to say that you will never be distracted. What it is fair to say is that if you do get distracted, the best thing you can do is get back to where you weren't distracted. So don't get mad at yourself. Don't beat yourself up because you got distracted. Instead, get back on the ball, right? Make sure you're taking the time to remove as many distractions and then get back on the ball. Look around your life right now. Are you playing too many video games? Are you watching too much tv? Okay. Are you actually spending time with a mentor? Are you spending time on YouTube watching 10 different ways to comb a cat? Right. Take the time to actually dig deep and remove the distraction. And the fourth thing, Take the time to eliminate confusion. Your brain likes clarity. It likes being super clear. Right? We're trying to make our do our best with these videos and some of the lessons that we do to be super clear, super concise on these different areas, you need to do the same thing in your life. Okay? You need to look at where you want to go, and you look at the different areas that you're confused about on how you're going to get there. Those are areas of mentorship. Those are areas of learning. Those are areas of learning a new skill set, developing a strength, or backfilling a blind spot. Okay? Make sure you take the fourth step of eliminating confusion. And that way you can actually get back to making sure that you're doing the things you should be doing and having fun with the rest of your free time.

All right? The next question I want to go over is, what does it take to develop real confidence? What does it take to actually feel like you're gaining ground? I think one of the best ways that you can actually help yourself gain confidence is to put forth consistency. I find that consistency always breeds confidence. Consistency also creates muscle memory. Muscle memory creates activity. Activity creates result. So consistency is key. Identify what you're trying to go after. Identify the baby steps it's going to take to get there, and then reward yourself along the way. Every single time you actually achieve one of these little baby steps, if you will, you'll develop an incremental level of confidence, and then you do it again with the next step. Another incremental level of confidence. Another incremental level of confidence. Another incremental level of confidence. I can promise you, when I was stuck sleeping in a car back in the day, that I never thought beyond a million years I would ever own a company, let alone a couple of companies or have team members working with me. I never thought that was even possible. However, what happened was, is I started to develop little wins and get a little more confident. I started handling my money better. I started handling my relationships better. I started handling my spiritual life better. Right? These things created confidence for me to actually sit in front of this chair today and talk to you today. Right? It takes confidence to sit in this chair and actually share with you what's worked for me, confidence comes with time. Confidence comes with consistency. If you want to build confidence, you have to have consistency.

How do I stop self sabotaging my life? As someone who used to do that on a regular basis, I can personally sympathize with that. One of the best ways to stop self sabotaging is to focus on the person you want to become, rather than the person that you've been in your past and rather than the person you see in your mirror today. So much of self sabotaging comes from a low self worth. So if you don't feel worthy of the actual success and the many wins or the miniature wins that you're getting along the way, inevitably what happens is you step up and start sabotaging those things. You'll make intentional decisions to disrupt your overall success. I see a lot with relationships and that's where it used to affect me the most. All right, so take the time to focus on being the person you want to become. Focus there. Put all your energy there. Right? There's a saying that what you focus on, you feel or what you focus on, you find focus there first. The second thing is give gratitude. I find that people that actually spent have a lifestyle of gratitude and giving thanks once or twice a day, even for the most basics of basic of things, breathing, drinking water, having some sustenance, having some food, tend to get away from actually focusing on the negative attributes of themselves. Therefore, because they're living a life of gratitude, they're also living a life of altitude. In other words, people with gratitude are continually climbing and becoming successful. The other thing I think is to make sure that you get away from the mindset that the rug's always going to get pulled out from under you. Because when you focus there, inevitably that's what happens. It becomes a self fulfilling, self fulfilling prophecy. Because you're so focused on it, you subconsciously start making bad decisions, taking bad actions, and then bring it on yourself. Focus on where you want to go again and again and again. Give yourself the grace for the little wins. Right? Don't think that the rug's constantly taking out from under you, because it's not really going to be if you don't focus your energy there. Instead, focus on what's going well and keep pursuing it that direction. The fourth and final thing is make sure you're constantly seeking direction. Make sure you're constantly seeking mentorship. And these people can help you see your blind spots and help you continue moving forward.

The next question is, some people are telling me to go to school. Some People are telling me, go to work. What should I do? Well, let me ask you this. What are some of the things you want to do? Do they require a degree or is it something you can get an apprentice for? Now, I'm a little biased if I'm being completely honest. Okay. I don't necessarily believe that the college system is the way to go for everybody under the sun. And here's why. I never went to college. I never graduated high school. I just barely got my ged. But yet I went into what I would refer to as an apprenticeship program with Steve Myrick, my very first mentor. Now, sure, I was doing labor work on a regular basis. I became a framer, then a siding guy, then a window guy, construction guy. But that entire time, I learned some different things. Steve Myrick taught me how to use my hands, which taught me how to use my head, which then brings me here to you today, where he taught me how to use my heart.

I personally believe that you should look at the very maybe the top five things that you really want to do with your life, the top five ways or the top five things you're passionate about, the top five things that you feel like you can bring the most value to other people. And ask yourself one question, do I need a college degree to make that happen? And what I mean by that is, if you're going to be a doctor, you need a degree. You need to go through the training. You want to be a lawyer, you're going to need a degree. You want to go do the training. You want to be an electrician, you could probably be an apprentice, you want to be a plumber apprentice, you want to be a musician, that's super creative. Maybe you can go and learn about music theory and things of that nature, but you may not need a full fledged degree in something and you won't incur as much debt because the vast majority are going to be financing their college. Recently, my kid's biological father just paid off his own student loans. Well, he's roughly 50 years old. Think about that. Do you really want to be 45, 35, 50 years old, paying off a student loan when you're probably not going to be working in a field that you probably went to school for? Ask yourself sincerely, do you need a degree to win? Or can you go the apprenticeship route where someone can teach you how to win in an area that you love and you're passionate about? That way, when you wake up each day, you're not going to do it in dread, you're not going to going to do it with incitement. You're going to have passion. And not only will you get paid, you'll get paid for passion. And there's no greater love in the world than getting paid for passion. Hey guys, I hope you enjoyed this week's Life Mastery Q and A Video we're doing a new Q and A Video every single Monday, and if you have questions you'd like answered, simply leave a comment with your question below this video or email us@questionsroonyprinciples.com and if we use your question, we'll send you a free gift just to say thank you.