Success Secrets From a Secret Agent with Rebecca Fitzsimmons

If you think you can, you're right. If you think you can't, you are also right. I had an intuitive calling in my soul, in my spirit, that I was being called to serve in a different way. Did I know what that looked like? Hell, no. When I left ncis, when it made zero sense to anyone, I was following my inner alignment. I was following my soul's guidance, my truth, when it made no logical sense, but it made intuitive sense. Authenticity is alignment. Alignment is authenticity. If it's on your heart and your mind, it's there for a reason. That is your truth. That is your soul, your spirit speaking to you.

Guys. Welcome my good friend, Rebecca Fitzsimmons. How you doing?

I'm doing well. How are you doing today?

I'm super stoked. You know, it's not often that you run into someone who was in the agencies of sorts and then turns out to be a speaker and author, all this kind of stuff. So walk me through a little bit of that journey and kind of why you stepped outside of serving in that capacity, now serving at scale, this capacity.

Yeah, absolutely. As you can imagine, I get that question quite often. And yeah, I mean, so for those that don't know, I was a special agent with the Naval Criminal Investigative service for almost 15 years. I did a tour with another agency, but most of those years were with ncis. And it was an honor, a blessing, a privilege. I could keep going to be able to serve in that capacity for our war fighters, for our country, for national security, all of the things. And.

It was so beautiful. And I learned so much about mindset and leadership and holistic leadership, which is the essence of my business. Tactical harmony. And to answer your question, why did I. Why did I leave ncis? Why would I leave that career, being so close to my 20 years, for my fellow feds out there, you know, that's important. And retirement. And the answer is a very simple one. And that is because I had an intuitive calling, an intuitive knowing in my soul, in my spirit, that I was being called to serve in a different way. Did I know what that looked like? Hell, no. I had no idea when I left NCIS that I would be sitting here talking to you, Steven, and your amazing audience, that I would be a business owner. My degree's in forensic science. I don't know anything to. No idea about business and entrepreneurship, but I had that conviction in my bones. And I knew there was something else that I was meant to do and to serve. And that leadership and that faith, that unwavering faith, absolutely carried Me to where I'm. Where I'm at today. So now I preach leadership and keynote speaking and coaching and all of these wonderful things that I'm so blessed that I'm able to do and serve in this capacity.

That's awesome.

Yeah.

Well, you know, it's interesting. I find that all professional occup, like, so if I look back at my journey.

You know, you would think that I also wouldn't have stumbled my way into entrepreneurship and then, you know, building companies and all this kind of stuff later on, just, you know, kind of. Or it. I. I tell you all the time, like, well, how did you get into entrepreneurship? Business said necessity. You know, I just. I needed to eat, needed to hustle, and that was the easiest path for me to get there. But, you know, you find. I found that much of my early days prepared me for my current days. Yeah. So I'd like to know, maybe understand, kind of from your perspective, maybe three or five highlights of, you know, how your former professional career is now allowing you to impact so many people at once now.

Yeah, that's a great question. And there are, as I kind of indicated earlier, so many lessons, so many blessings, so many learnings, the peaks and valleys of. Of everything, right? And everyone's professional experience very uniquely as a. As a special agent and working across all the different plan. All the different disciplines. So from criminal investigations and operations to our national security mission, which is counterintelligence and counterterrorism, I was very blessed that I was able to work across those. And why I mention that is because with each one came a unique set of challenges. Some were life and death situations. I want. My goal is to get home tonight. That is my goal. Right. I don't know how this warrant is going to go. I don't know how this arrest is going to go. Everywhere to, hey, we've got spies and we have terrorists, as we all know. And that's a different game. That's a very different game than I want to get home at night. So when asked all of the different things NCIS taught me, it was the spectrum of human experience.

It's that simple and it's that hard.

The.

The utter crisis challenge. Incoming intel changing every minute. I'm responsible for my cadre of agents and making sure they're safe. And I'm making decisions in the moment in protection of them, in furtherance of our mission and furtherance of how we're going to execute this, to keep everyone safe. That's a lot of pressure. That is a lot going on. And So I understood organically, consciously, unconsciously, the power of the mind and how we think. If you think you can, you're right. If you think you can't, you are also right. And that pertains to high risk missions and ops and investigations, and that also pertains to everyday change management in the private sector.

Yeah.

And having worked across all these industries and also entrepreneurship, I can say this with certainty and confidence that the power of your mind and thinking and where you're placing your focus, where you're attaching your meaning is where you're putting your life force, which is your energy and your emotions and what are emotions but energy in motion. And it's having that regulation and that awareness that now I'm able to communicate with you effectively to be able to execute what I need to do, whether that's getting my butts to the gym in the morning, to running a high speed op.

Yeah.

And so it was really those unique set of challenges that most people don't have. Most people are not special agents in these crazy scenarios that we find ourselves in. And so when I say that I'm blessed, I truly mean that with a humble and grateful heart. That it wasn't always. I mean, of course it's about serving the mission and serving our military, but it was also about all of these things that helped me evolve as a human, as a leader, as a professional, and carrying that into tactical harmony and being able to share these things. Like these are battle tested, tried and true strategies and tactics. And I've seen them work. So I love sharing them and I love watching people get from where they are to where they want to go a whole heck of a lot faster.

Yeah, that's awesome. Well, you know, one of the things that, that I feel like we share, our mutual friend Ryan actually shares this as well, is this. I find myself to being a bit of an evangelist for alignment. Right. So I've spent the last decade trying to figure out what that means to me. You know, I woke up this morning, I knew I had a busier day today just because we're coming back from the holiday weekend, you know, So I ran to the gym super quick, answered text message phone calls, which isn't my normal deal, but I guess everybody else was awake and ready to get going. So a couple of the entrepreneurs I've invested in were asking me questions about their business. And so I was like, I got back and I was like, wait a minute. How I start my day is how I end my day. All right, so I'm gonna stop for just a second. I pull back over here, pull back in the driveway, took my shoes off, went to the back. You basically walked around the house in the backyard, up. I got the lake here to my, directly to my left and, and sat here in the grass and just kind of like looks over just to get some deep breaths to put myself back in a more regulated ground state for myself, you know, and alignment. So much of what I've been discovered is I call it being one part line, one part lamb. Being bold and courageous, being assertive, being available, but also being the lamb, which is compassionate, grounded, regulated, emotionally mature. You know, present presence has become a big word of mine. My kids were here this, this weekend with my, my brand new grandson. And it was funny because the, the boys were on their phones. They, you know, they wanted to watch a movie. They're like, hey, I want to watch a movie. And it wasn't that long ago that the oldest one told me, hey, look, if there's one thing you could do better as a dad, this is, you know, five, six, seven years ago, he said it would have been to be more present when you're present. So I looked at both of them, I said, hey guys, how about being more present when you're present? They looked at me, put their phones down and rolled their eyes and we started watching the movie. Love it. I say, I say that because I feel like alignment is unfortunately has become more of a buzzword than a pursuit.

Yeah.

You know, and for me, when I'm, when I'm in an environment, just a family like environment, I just mentioned before, one of the things that I discover pretty quickly is like I get to influence that environment. Right. So I knew that that's, that dynamic was out of alignment with what we set our core values and our identity like the, the core attributes are. And you know, it's up to us to kind of recenter if you will. But I guess from your perspective, how do you, how would you define for yourself? Alignment, Authentic alignment. Because I feel like there's again, it could be a buzzword or it could be an actual pursuit.

Yeah, no, it's that, that is so powerful because it's something that is near and dear to my heart and it's, it's also at the center of my business and it's kind of like, well, you don't want to define the word by defining the word like authenticity is alignment. Alignment is authenticity. But it really is. Those things are interconnected just like we are mind, body and spirit. And how I'm influencing and Inspiring myself is going to directly affect how I influence and inspire you and this conversation. And that is the definition of holistic leadership.

Yeah.

And so it's. I always tell my clients, my teams, colleagues, friends, if it's on your heart and your mind, it's there for a reason. And that is something that is your truth. That is your truth. That is your soul, your spirit speaking to you.

Yeah.

And it is going to be different for every single person. And. And it doesn't have to make sense because the brain thinks, the heart knows. And that isn't cliche. Like, that is truly like your, Your gut, I mean, your gut literally has so many neurons and nerve cells. And let me call it our gut for a reason. And that energy center, like, we listen to that. And let me tell you, in law enforcement, we always listen to our gut. Like that instinct, whatever you want to call it, but it's. It's having a muscle, and we have to flex that muscle, and if we don't use it, we're going to lose it. It's just like if I want to go to the gym and I'm lifting weights, I need that resistance. So speaking my truth is being authentic. It's being aligned. When I left ncis, when it made zero sense to anyone, I was following my inner alignment. I was following my soul's guidance, my truth, when it made no logical sense.

But.

But it made intuitive sense. So having that alignment. And you also said something else that is huge. It's at the core of it is your values. And a lot of people, we hear these words, but do you really know your values? Because I can tell you mine. I can list the top four values I have, because that is the prism in which I look through. And if something is not attached to those values, I'm going to question if I should do it. Because especially in today's hustle society, you know, we're busy, but are we making progress? Are we moving the ball down the field? Are we getting from where we are to where we want to go? What value are we adding? And so when we're looking at those values, and that is aligning with our identity, how we want to show up, presence, right? Like, that's where we create, is the present moment, not the past, not the future. It's in this moment. The power of mindfulness is huge. And that also gives us the gift that we can reflect, take feedback, receive it, get better. Am I living in accordance with my values? Am I living my soul's truth? And if I'm not, then I need to make a change. And every single one of us have that power to create and that power to create something in life and business and everywhere in between. And so it's, I could go on and on, and I'll stop there about having that authenticity and that alignment, but it is so critical to living a peaceful, happy, joyful life.

Yeah. You know, it's funny you mentioned the word resistance, because I believe that resistance by definition increases capacity. So it does with muscle for sure. You know, so when I, when a lot of, I used to say that a sign of misalignment is kind of like being anxious or having emotional anxiety or kind of that, that what I've discovered is, is you need a certain amount of resistance in order to cause the self to grow. Right. You need life circumstances. However, it's the perspective and the actions you take towards those situations that either are either holding you still or stuck or aligned forward. And so much of what I believe about alignment is when you're fully aligned, it's not that those things don't exist, but they don't really take your legs out from under you. I gave you an example. Like I told you this morning, I started off my day more hectic than I've done in a really long time, you know, and I was trying to be of service. But then I really, I caught myself because I've been working on in this, in this pattern of alignment and being ground. I caught myself, hey, buddy, we're slipping out. Let's go. Let's, let's go ahead and just go. Let's go re, center and restart. And I find that a lot of us struggle to recenter and restart. But, you know, I was, it had me think about this resistance piece because for me, symptoms of misalignment are overwhelmed, burnout and what I would call extreme anxiety. So not being anxious in the moment, but carrying anxiety day after day after day after day. And when I was thinking about that, and I was kind of processing through that as my, as kind of the frame of reference, I also discovered that misalignment essentially is nothing more than a symptom telling you that you're out of alignment. Right. And I find that we're most out of alignment when we're trying to live someone else's life or trying to do what other people are telling us to do or wanting us to do. You know, I, I, I, I worked with an entrepreneur one time who took a very, who took a very long road to get to entrepreneurship. But early stages, they had lemonade stands and bicycle repairs and all this stuff as, as children. And you know, their, their parents wanted them to go be an attorney. Now we need attorneys. Don't, don't get me wrong, but in this I'm a big believer in find out what your unique, God given strength is and lean into that and then find your occupation, your profession, or at least your hobby around that, that, that ecosystem. And lo and behold, it was funny because when, when we first started working together.

They kept trying to apply the principles that were.

Taught to them rather than understanding new principles that they needed to learn to become successful in entrepreneurship. And as they began to let go of the legal capacity and start to step away from that and into the entrepreneurial capacity, they started to thrive because they started to feel like, oh, this is, I know, I know that, I know that this is what I'm supposed to do. You know, I've got a good buddy of mine, Satimanali, he's a former super bowl champion, just did an amazing event called Game Changers over the weekend before the weekend. And I've never seen someone stand up on stage before and say, basically, I know that, I know that, I know that I'm supposed to be doing this right here. Wow. And he's got, and this. And he's like listed off like three reasons. This, this and this. Like, and he goes. And everything else, Everything else is misalignment for me. Wow. You know, so I think it's, it's, it's so interesting to see the clarity that comes with true, authentic alignment. Now, I do believe I like you. I do think authenticity is a, is a powerful tool, but you don't discover authenticity until you actually start pursuing alignment.

Yep.

Because you don't know what the real you is. Right. So therefore, if you're not pursuing the real you, then next thing you know you're, you know, you're all over the place. You're doing things that you wouldn't normally do know. And you don't really find the tri. It's just, it's, it's interesting. So how did you find your way to alignment? Because I feel like that's a, that's a tricky thing for most people.

Yeah, it's a, a crazy trajectory, that's for sure. And it's one that is not linear. And I think that it is part of my, my answer here is there's different seasons in life and there's different seasons, chapters, levels, whatever you want to call it for us. I was absolutely meant to be an agent and to serve the people that I serve to investigate the cases that I had the honor to investigate, to drive the dignitary around that I. Those were things that absolutely needed to happen until they weren't anymore. And it's being so radically honest with yourself. It is taking radical ownership and accountability of all parts of you that you then discover your alignment and your authenticity. And that requires you to be uncomfortable, to step outside of the known. That is where you grow. It's called growing pains for a reason. And so I'm stretching myself. I'm learning what I like, I'm learning what I don't like. And that's only made possible by me taking that inspired action to shoot my shot, to take the move, to send the email, the text to put myself out there. Is everything going to be roses and unicorns and amazing? No. Is everything going to work out how I want it to? Heck, no. And that's on purpose. And so those are all signs and signposts as we're going through and navigating life. And so for me, it was really an artifact of putting. Putting myself out there, trying different things, being so radically honest with myself. And if it's on my heart and mind, well, let me think about starting a podcast. What the heck does it require? I have no idea. Again, you know, what my skill set is. But I can learn. Because if my what and my why are powerful, it aligns with my values, it's a delivery mechanism, it's a vehicle in which I can serve, then I'll figure it out. I'm not going to get caught in the tyranny of how it's going to flow. And so a sign of that is I figured out how to do this whole microphone business. I figured out how to do the RSS feed and get on Apple and Spotify. I figured it out. And it was ease, it was flow, which is also a sign that, hey, this is where I'm supposed to be, and that is where the harmony comes in. Because, yeah, there's going to be resistance. You're going to come up against the edges of yourself. You're going to have to confront the voice in your head that says, you're not good enough, tall enough, pretty enough. Who are you to think that you could do X, Y, Z, whatever that voice is, you're going to have to confront that. And you do it boldly. And then you attack it. You turn down the volume. You tame your body like an animal, and you get after it. And it's having that conviction. And like, like, I have a coach around me all the time saying, come on, Rebecca, let's go. Like, you can do this. Like, keep going.

Yeah.

And then you figure it out. So it's having that. It's going to be ease and flow, you know, where you're supposed to be. You happen to be in the right room to meet the right person. Like, these are synchronicities. These are signs of alignment, y'.

All.

Like, this is where you should be, but you're also going to meet resistance. That's how you grow. That's how you get better, stronger, leaner, faster. Think of it as lifting weights at a gym. And so it's having that. That harmony between the two that it allows you to discover who the hell you are and why we were put here from God and what we can do in this current season of life.

Am I going to be doing what I'm doing forever? Well, right now, I think so. But there could be something else that comes on my journey, and I'll know that it's right because I'm flexing those muscles, and I'll step into that. Yeah, another level, another devil, right? And then there's going to be resistance there, and there's going to be ease and flow. And I'm so radically aware. I'm looking to my left, my right. I'm growing. I'm getting better. And it just keeps getting better and better and better. And that is the belief that I tell myself. I do not say that life is hard. I do not say. Because words carry frequency. I say, no, it keeps getting better and better and better. And I have that faith.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, that's awesome. I. You know, it's really. I was also thinking, too. It's like.

They'Re. Almost everyone that I know on the planet would like to live in a conscious state of flow or harmony or not necessarily bliss, but, you know, but in a. But in a state of, hey, every action that I'm taking is leading me to a brighter future. Every thought that I'm thinking is leading me to a brighter action. Every. You know, and they started to kind of like, look at that modeling system. And it was. It was interesting because one of the people used to ask me all the time, what do you think? So, Lynchpin, I said, you know, I would say radical honesty. How'd you go from homelessness to starting your business? And da, da, da. I was finally radically honest with myself, but I was radically honest with myself without gain, without guilt, shame, or condemnation. Like, I removed all the emotional abuse that I was throwing at myself that was actually Preventing me from really moving forward, and just said, hey, what are the facts? The facts are I'm currently homeless. The facts are, do I want to stay here? No. Okay, well, what needs to change? I need to change how I think, how I act, and how I relate to people. I mean, in the grand scheme of things. But here's what I discovered, and I'm curious to hear your thoughts on this. I discovered that on my path to radical honesty and then later to authenticity and then later to alignment, that I had to go through several life gates. And each of those life gates always had fear attached to them. So it's like the only way you get to this place of harmony and, you know, bliss or, you know, kind of like this, this life that you love, so to speak. Right. Doesn't. Again, you're not. It doesn't mean you're not going to have resistance. Doesn't mean. Because even a sailboat needs wind to move forward. Right. You know, so you have to have these types of things. But at least for me, like, I had to lean into fear rather than run away from it. And I'm curious to know, in your own progression to alignment and leadership pursuits, things of that nature, how much fear have you had to face, overcome? And what would you say to someone right now is like, you know what, this, this guy. Guys, this sounds great. I love the podcasting world. I love, I love taking in information and all this sounds amazing. But right now, you know, I, I'm. I'm a dead end job that I, that I hate. I'm in an area that I don't like, you know, and I would love to have radical alignment, you know, kind of thing, but I've got. But, but, but. So how does fear play into that?

Yeah, yeah, it's the. When we, our words mean something. And so when we say, well, I want this and I wish for this and I desire, you're operating from a place of lack. That means I don't have this thing. There is time and space separating me from this object, person, job, car, relationship that I want. And so looking at that again, it requires that radical ownership of my thoughts and being aware of my unconscious thoughts and my beliefs and things that are hardwired into my operating program. And a lot of that is stemmed in fear. And it's not only fear of failure. I find that it's most often fear of success.

Yeah.

What if this person says yes when I ask them how? What if I apply to this job and I get it and we don't. We have these Thoughts going constantly in our brain, and we need to own them. Is it true? Is it a story? Is it a narrative? I'm telling myself? Is it a fact? Like you said, I'm looking back and I look at my life and there's emotion attached to things. Right. Like, the stronger the emotion. Yeah, yeah. The stronger the event. We're going to remember it more. But wisdom is when I can look back and I can talk about it very candidly, frankly, without that emotional attachment. I can say, and for my journey that I. I lived in a trailer park when I started off my life. That is a. That's a fact. That's not something I hide from. That's something that I'm not embarrassed about. Young Rebecca. Oh, yeah. I would never tell anybody. Oh, my gosh. Like, they would judge me. What would they think? No. My parents were hardworking factory workers. I am so proud of them. They put food on the table. I always had shelter. And I love the heck out of them. They worked harder than most people that I know. I don't care if you have a degree. I don't care if you own a business. And I'm proud of that. And so I attached a different meaning to it. I had to redefine my relationship, which brings me to fear. Fear is faith flipped on its head. That's what it is.

Yeah.

And so when we redefine our relationship with fear, because I'm going to have fear when I try something new. We can use a different word. Hesitancy, self doubt, limiting beliefs. But there's. There's a. Some fear in there. Is it deeply rooted subconsciously or in my blueprint that maybe. You know what? I didn't grab that limiting belief. There's something in there. Great. That's good. That means I have an opportunity to get better. So I'm gonna take fear, I'm gonna hold hands with it, and we're gonna move.

Yeah.

And that's one thing that I see a lot of people in the world. They. They have. There's a myth that. Well, it's easy for them. It's. It's easy for you. Like, you just figured it out. I could never do what you do. And it's like. No, no, no. Successful people, however you want to define success, they just operate with fear. They're not special. There are no shortcuts or hacks. They just take the fear, that uncertainty, that doubt, the whatever, because every single person in this world has that and they conquer it and they move anyways.

Yeah.

That's it. How beautiful Is that. And it's almost like, let me take that rock out of your pack so you can move, you can move. And where we put our attention is where we put our energy and our life force. So I'm not going to let someone live rent free in my head. I'm not going to let someone, well, my parent may want this or my sister, my brother, my lover, my friend who they could think of me. No, it's me versus me. It's me versus yesterday. Am I better than I was yesterday? Am I living in alignment with God, with the universe, with my soul, my spirit? That's where I'm placing my energy. Now of course I do care about what a loved one thinks and I want to, I want to serve them. But it's again, it's that distinction that I'm not going to operate and do things because of how they think of me. Yeah, it's not that very delicate. So yeah, fear is a necessity. Ain't going to go away. So let's just redefine that relationship. Let's dance with it, whatever. Make sense in that mental framework and scaffolding in your brain. Take it and run with it. I like to be aggressive and be like, let's go. Like I'm feeling this but I'm gonna move and then I move fast. I don't negotiate with myself. Well, maybe I shouldn't go to the gym this morning. You know, the bed's really comfortable, the coffee tastes real. No, move that, that's with fear, that's with getting better. No, I'm gonna go and I'm gonna move and I'm gonna do it with fierce intention because I know it's aligned with my spirit, my soul. And that's being authentic, that's being honest. That is self love.

Yeah, I love it. I had two thoughts. You know it's funny my, as I mentioned before, my kids came out for Labor Day weekend and my daughter in law who's you know, in her young 20s, you know, had a, just had a baby a few months back and congrats. You know the, the, the boys and I went on the, we got on the. I have a surfboat and we got on the surfboat and they were, you know, learning to surf basically because the, you know, the boat creates the wake and, and the waves and you just told them. Anyway, so her name's sky. And sky said, well I, I want to do it, so. Okay, cool. So for two days she's like, oh well, I feel nauseous right now. I feel this, I Feel that. Yesterday morning I was like, are we doing this or you going or what? And she's like, yeah. So she goes, puts her swimsuit on, we hop on the boat. And on the boat I could, you could just tell she's a little scared, right? Little like, you know. And I was like, sky, I promise you, you will do it better than everybody else did because you, because historically you operate flow. Because you operate flow, your body is going to move better with the waves, you know. So I hop in the water with her and like, show her how to put, where to put her feet, all this kind of stuff. It was funny to watch her hop in scared. And I think it was about two hours we got her out of the water because she literally, she got up and was riding on the surfboard within about 45 minutes to an hour. It was like. And it just, and then she was like, I love this, I can't wait to do it again. And I use that as a frame of reference for, as you relate to Dancing with Fear, it's, it's, it's not, it's not saying it doesn't exist that, but it's saying, hey, I, I, I see that exists, but we're going to do this anyway kind of thing. And then moving forward. The other second thought that I thought was really interesting was you, you, you mentioned kind of like almost dancing with your inner self a little bit. And one of the things that helped me along the way is I realized that rather than.

Quote, unquote, hating on the parts of myself I didn't like, I started loving that side of myself and thanking that side of myself. And that is actually what led me to a more of an align, an integrated alignment person. So I want to hear your thoughts on that and I want to jump into leadership with what time we have left.

Yeah, no, it's, as I kind of mentioned earlier, it's the exploring all parts of you and being so honest and aware of all parts of you. And we, we're the meaning makers. We assign something as good or bad. You know, we could look at the same sunset or mountains, and I can think they're utterly beautiful and be so grateful looking at them. And you would be like, no, I'd rather the ocean or I'd rather the city life. This isn't for me. So we assign meaning to it. And so it's again going back to where am I placing this meaning? If there's something that I don't like, why, like, get to that predication? The foundation, is it rooted in Fear? Is it a limiting belief, maybe, that we need to get rid of? Yeah, but we can't fix a problem if we don't know it exists. So it's having that exploration which requires stillness. Yeah, I know in today's world, we go, we move. I'm guilty as charged over here, but I take moments every day and I meditate. I'm not gonna miss a day where I'm not going inward, going beyond my analytical mind. I'm gonna unplug my senses, I'm gonna go inward and I'm going to listen, I'm going to observe and taking that moment which requires presence, which requires mindfulness. Anchoring here, not the email I have to send and all these things. It takes time to overcome that. And the overcoming is the becoming process. That is the key. That is like the linchpin, as we say. And as I'm overcoming myself, I'm going to be more productive. I'm going to have an amazing day because I overcame myself. I gave myself that victory, that win, early in the morning. And so there are going to be parts of me that I'm like, wow, like I got frustrated or maybe I said something I didn't mean, or, you know, and this applies to something many people in the world. And, you know, I could sit here and be guilty or I could take accountability for it. Hey, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. That was an emotional reaction instead of a response. And then you move on instead of living and just tormenting yourself or being mad at the person that wronged you 20 years ago. That event only lives in your brain. And if you relive it, your body is so objective, it doesn't know the difference between a real experience and an imagined one, which is why meditation is so powerful. So if I understand that from a neuroscience perspective, I'm going to be really damn honest with myself. Like, what am I thinking? What am I picturing and visualizing? Because that's going to. That matters. That's going to be manifested in my physical reality.

Yeah.

So having that moment where I'm just. I'm still. I'm exploring myself, I know what's going on. And that's called discipline, which I characterize as the ultimate expression of self.

Love. Yeah.

I do things when I want to do them, and I do things when I don't.

Yeah. Well, it's funny because you only, you know, if you do, if you. If you take life by the horns in that capacity, inevitably, whatever, what, everything that's happening is for your greater good. And I'm a bit. I'm a big believer in that old adage, it's like everything happens for you, not to you kind of thing. I didn't used to think that way growing up. Obviously, I was a. I spent my. My fair share of times in trailer parks and other places like that and difficult circumstances, parents not around. And. And I had a divine awakening, which the. My audience knows about. But I had this. As I was driving, I was taking my other son out driving the boat went to. And you can have. You can actually go to restaurants here on the lake and with the boat and come back. And, you know, I'm. I'm always thinking, I'm always kind of inward, and then I kind of obviously show up outward, which is hopefully what the audience benefits from the most. But one of the things that I had this epiphany on, I've been this. I've had this passion that hustle culture must die. And. Right. And so. And so I had somebody challenge me on that recently, a good friend of mine. He's like, hey, I said, there's a difference between hustle and discipline. And I said, the core discipline or the core differences, hustle is anxious, is anxious energy, or diligence, is focused intensity. So I'm all. So I tell the audience all the time now is that, hey, guys, we want to make sure we use focused intensity over anxious energy. And the reason we want to do that is because we want to make the main thing the main thing. We want to set the domino up in our favor. Right? And, yeah, I just. It's funny. I could jam on this kind of stuff all day long, which is awesome. But I do want to pivot because a lot of our audience comes here for leadership. They, they, they. They feel like they're called to lead, right? They. They really do. They. It could be a business, it could be a church, it could be a mission. It could be like, gosh, philanthropic and stuff. But they're. They feel like they're. They're coming and being called to lead. One of the things that I see that I. That I'm excited to talk to you about with the time we have left is this concept of holistic leadership as compared to traditional leadership, because traditional leadership, to me, seems like it's expected. Holistic leadership seems like it's intentional.

Yes, I. Very passionate about this. So I'm speaking from my heart and soul when it comes to leadership, and that's why I'm here and what I'm doing. Holistic leadership, as I indicated earlier is the ability to influence and inspire yourself.

For first.

It starts with you. It's self leadership. It's personal leadership, accountability for all parts of us before I can inspire and influence others. And that looks like how you lead your day. Because I truly believe. And this might be controversial, but we're all leaders. I lead my day. I don't have to be sitting here. I led myself to this moment. I lead my habits. I lead my relationships. I lead my finances. I lead my mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual health. I lead what I put in my body, my food, my consumption. Am I listening to radios or podcasts? Am I looking at things that are junk, good in, good out? I don't know. I'm leading every part. And so when you look at it through that framework and you build that mental framework that, wow, I am leading all these things. I don't like something that I need to lead in a different way that forces you to look inward. You can't help it. You can't help but look inward. Well, what am I thinking? What am I feeling? Very important, because it creates your state of being, which creates your personality, your attitude, your beliefs, your mood.

And so having that holistic leadership, I am a more impactful and meaningful leader. With my teams, they're gonna know that I'm authentic. And what I say is what I mean, and what I mean is what I say. And then I. And I care about all parts of them. Of course we're here. We got a mission we gotta execute. We gotta get from point A to point B, and that's what we rally around, that shared vision. Yeah, but I care about them as people. Because you can't separate your personal from professional. Like, I can't separate, you know, something horrible happened in my morning. I. I can't just, okay, I'm good to go. You know, we could compartmentalize. And people do that dangerously. Like, hey, you still gotta move. But what I mean is, like, there's all parts of me, mind, body and spirit, that is. We're a whole person. All parts of us matter.

Yeah.

So I could be kick. I could be amazing in the gym.

Yeah.

And I could, you know, go to church and pray and be very spiritual. But if I'm not feeding my body, if I'm eating fast food every day or what, that's going to affect me. My physical health affects my mental and spiritual health and vice versa. It is interconnected. And the sooner we realize that marriage, the sooner we realize and appreciate and honor and respect and serve that mind, body connection.

Yeah.

Oh, get ready, like, because they. You're out of the bleachers, you're in the field, you're playing the game. Get ready. Because life as you know it will change. Yeah, but that requires intention, as you said. It requires an intentionality, deliberation. I am making a choice every single moment, and I'm taking ownership of that choice.

Yeah.

That is leadership. That's holistic leadership.

Yeah. Well, let's, let's, let's, let's go on from this perspective. Let's assume. I'll give you, I'll give you a personal example. So when I started my company.

I was obviously homeless at the time. I didn't hire my first real team member for about four and a half, five years. I did a lot. I mean, most everything. I was the epitome of the chief everything officer. Right. Doing literally everything. I honestly didn't take a day off for the first four and a half years. So the only person I was leading technically was myself. And I would say that that motivation at the time was more scarcity and necessity than anything else. Right. So that served me for that brief moment in history. And then I began hiring people slowly. Obviously, we create revenue. You have a little revenue, have a little profit, things start to happen. And, you know, I started hiring people that had CPA behind their name and MBA behind their name. Here, here I was somebody didn't graduate high school, you know, Best I was able to achieve scholastically was a ged. Right. So.

I had been lying to myself in some early days that.

That I wasn't leading out of insecurity because here, again, these people had degrees. And there was a whole list all this pressure about you have to have a degree and all this kind of stuff. Lo and behold, the first 10 years of my business, I led with heart and passion and with what I thought was good intentions. I love my team. I love my people, always. I've always been wired that way. So I've never been the, the, the textbook, like, everything's for me, right?

Yeah.

However, I still led poorly many times over because honestly, in truth, I, I felt like I didn't know any better. Like I was leading the best I could with what I knew how to do. And then I began having leadership challenges and things of that nature. And I, and I basically put myself in an immersive environment that honestly kicked my teeth in for a little bit about what a leader was, what a leader wasn't, and what that looks like. So when I hear you say lead authentically and holistically, it seems like, you also mentioned earlier that it's important to lead from self, but how much of that is obviously discovering what a healthy self is to then lead from that place? Because to me, it's like you either you can either lead from insecurity or you can lead from confidence. And I feel like there's a vibration component to both of those that either attract people kind of to work together or kind of repel people. So how would we help a leader who maybe is early stage, early days, they're like, hey, look, I'm burned. I don't know what I'm doing. I'm just. I'm just doing. I'm trying my best, you know, how do we. How do we help that leader just kind of get to the next level?

Yeah. These are. Gosh, this is so important. And there's so many things to unpack, but in interest of time, just a few things that popped into my brain are. The greatest investment that we can make is one that we make in ourselves. And I. That is not a buzz phrase or word. And I'm sure a lot of the. A lot of your audience has heard that. But truly, when you unpack it, like, I believe it's. It's foundational. I cannot be taxed. It cannot be taken away from me. And when you learn, when you grow, you start to have the greater knowledge. But knowledge is useless unless it's applied. Insight without action is useless. Execution is where you're going to learn your grow and how you're going to get better. So for anyone, if you're in a leadership position in the traditional sense of the word, if you, who are the matriarch, a patriarch of your family, is to really look at yourself and like, what moves am I making?

Yeah.

What moves am I not making? Because an action is still something that's a choice. I'm choosing not to have the hard conversation.

Yeah.

I'm choosing not to confront the demon and slay the dragon and get after it when I know this is what I'm meant to do. I know I'm being called for more. But you know what? I'm gonna play it safe because I got a stable paycheck coming in better. It's not for me. I'm just gonna. But I'm miserable.

Yeah, you.

You are what you tolerate. So for someone that is burnt out or kind of going through that, you know, my advice would be having that moment of stillness and really kind of reflecting on, well, why are you feeling this way?

Yeah.

And that's emotional intelligence. Again, I know It's a term thrown out, but it's so important. Are you aware of yourself and your thoughts and your feelings and how you're operating, how you're presenting to the world, how you show up for yourself first and foremost?

Yeah.

How do you show up for your family, your community, your team, your co workers, your boss? And then being able to regulate that because no one's going to make a good decision when they're angry or they're mad. It's emotional. And you're probably going to regret sending the rage text.

You're probably going to regret. I've sent my fair share of rage texts emails, and they always bit me in the ass. Always. Always.

Right? And it's like, never works out.

Like it creates five more problems for the problem I was trying to solve in that one moment.

So totally.

Right.

Like, it's so relatable. Right. And we're humans. That's like, we're on the human journey. No one is perfect. That is the lowest standard. It does not exist. So, okay, got it. Like, I, I fell from grace today. I had a moment where I'm this. Or maybe it's a season, like a month or a hard year. I mean, you and I have both had a lot of hard things happen to us. Right? Like, I have lost both of my siblings, my brother and my half brother and my half sister. They're both passed away very two different ways. That is one of the, arguably the most, one of the most worst things that a parent could endure. And I had a front row seat to both. That's horrible stuff. But instead of letting it drive me or depress me or make me like, I'm going to learn and live for those people. I'm going to learn and live and serve others that are still here on this human journey. School birth, as we call it. That's what I'm here to do. And it's how you frame it. It's not about positive thinking and I really want to make that distinction. It is not about positive thinking. It is about processing things in the most healthy, authentic way. What works for one person may not work for somebody else. And that's okay.

Yeah.

We all have different ways to success or to get what we want. You and I have taken very different journeys. And that's okay. It's not a comparison. I find it fascinating when I hear about other people's journeys.

Yeah.

So it would be my first, My biggest recommendation to anyone listening, if they're having any sort of challenge, leadership or otherwise, is to look inward, sit your butt down. And I say that with love and go inward. You don't have to meditate, but just plug. Get out of the analytical world. Your beta brain waves get into alpha.

Right?

That trance state where I'm starting to go into my operating system, I'm unplugging. The answer lies within you. That inner wisdom, it is there. But you have to be able to tune in. It's like you have a radio. You want to listen to country music. You're not going to tune in to a rock station or classical music or if you have static. So you got to look at it. And this is really helpful for a lot of my clients is what am I tuning into? Am I angry? Am I shameful? Am I guilty? If I just, like, I have a chip on my shoulder and, well, you don't know what I've been through. So this is why I don't trust. Yeah, it's kind of like drinking poison and wishing the other person died. No, I'm tuning into that. I'm going to tune into being grateful. That's the first thing. And the first step. What am I grateful for? My coffee, the clothes on my body, the air that I'm able to breathe, then I'm able to move my body. I mean, start that basic. And then you'll start to feel, like you said, the vibration, the frequency, we all have it. We have an electromagnetic field. And around our heart that there's a greater field that's been measured, like meters. So I have to get into my heart and I feel grateful, and then I start to feel joy. And then you just keep going up the levels of consciousness. This is measured. This is neuroscience. This affects your genes. I've studied under Dr. Joe Dispenza for years. I'm actually getting ready to go to his retreat. Seven days meditation. I'm so excited. But it's true, it's measured, so the scientist in me appreciates it. But it's that beautiful intersection of spirituality, your soul, oneness, connectedness, whatever that looks like for you, whatever word you want to use. God, source, spirit, universe. That intersection with science, with things that are facts. I can measure this and I can show it. And so going inward, listening, and then starting to take action again. Because insight without action is useless.

Amen. That's awesome. Well, I've enjoyed this conversation. Where can I find out more about you?

Oh, tacticalharmony.com. that's my website, my LinkedIn. Rebecca Fitzsimmons Tactical Harmony. If you Google that, you will. You will see me. And that's where I list all my services and all the fun things and ways that I could potentially work with you and serve you.

I love it. Awesome. Rebecca, thank you so much for coming the show. This is fun. Yes.

I love it. This was an amazing conversation. My heart, my energy. It was a beautiful exchange, and I'm very grateful for you, Steven, and what you've done and how you're impacting the world, your audience. And so thank you for having me on today.

Sincerely. Our pleasure. All right, take care.

You too.

Bye.

Bye.

Hey, guys. I hope you enjoyed that amazing conversation. And if you want more just like that to help you level up your life and your business, you're not going to miss this next one. Check it out.

I was nine. I was in therapy. I got diagnosed with anxiety and ocd.

I don't want to breathe.

I, like, want God to take away my breath. But my family means too much for me to take my own life. Like, I'm 20 now. Like, I've had it for 11 years, but now it's like the thoughts consuming me and the enemy, like, really trying to knock me down. It's like, but look at what God's doing right now.