The ROOT CAUSE Of Human Trafficking & How To SAVE CHILDREN From It!

My ability to help people was always kind of there, and what I'd gone through was awful. But I knew I had the strength to help other people. Human trafficking $150 billion a year industry the US Marine Corps is $46 billion a year, so it's three times the size of that. When I see people hurting women, children especially, and I know that I've got the ability to help, I've never been able to turn my back. It's never ended. So as I've kind of grown into different ways, originally it was, yeah, let's rescue people and do what we can. But now it is just really about educating and just stopping it. So the only way to kind of stop all that is just to stop it happening in the first place.

Guys, help me welcome the one and only Alana Stots. How you doing?

I'm good, thank you. How are you?

I'm doing so good. I'm so excited to talk to you. I was telling you just a handful of seconds ago that I've learned quite a lot about you in the last little bit. And, you know, there's so many different directions our conversation can go, and all of them would be incredibly meaningful and, and, and beneficial. One of the things I would like to talk about, since I know you and your husband's heart, is to really go out and serve the, the TRA traffic population from, you know, from awareness to, you know, kind of getting people rescued, to post, you know, post training, all that good stuff. One of the things that comes to top of my mind with my friends that did the Sound of Freedom movie is this. Is. Is this concept of grooming or is this concept of like kind of nonchalantly bringing people in or tricking people into this environment? Can you talk to me a little bit about that?

Yeah, it's really interesting. We were just saying there before about the Sound of Freedom, and it has received various types of response to it. I think the one benefit that I would pull from it and with any other movie or anything that highlights it, is that we do get to talk about it. And that is the most important thing that we're talking about it. But I think it's really important that we do talk about it in the right way. And a lot of people do see human trafficking still in that bundle. Somebody in the back of a van, you know, kidnapped them up, force them into sex slavery and all this kind of stuff. And really the reality is that your child is more likely to walk freely into the hands of traffickers, and that is done through the process of grooming and it really is just, we've seen lots of different methods that work with it, but with the online world and with, you know, real access to our kids now, it is really done by befriending them, getting them to trust them. You know, just, it's kind of in the kind of love bombing way I think we talk.

It's really just, that is just the process.

We're building a friendship with this person, getting them to trust us, getting them to believe in us and getting them to want to do anything they can for us. And then when it comes to bringing them into the trafficking world, we're really just saying, come with us. And they're going completely freely of their own will, not knowing what has just happened to them and this process, it's gone through. So to, to stop trafficking happening, we really need to address that. Part is who are our kids talking to on the Internet? What are they saying? What, what are they not getting from us that these guys are given to them? We can look at all those different things and stop it right at the very beginning. Because actually this side of it, the grooming side of it is illegal act in itself. It isn't until we move into the abuse and the trafficking that it becomes illegal. But that is the point we need to really stop it. And I think that the other thing that I'm often.

Asked about, especially with movies like that is only happening in third world countries. Is it only happening abroad? And the answer is no, it's happening here. And there's no demographics either. It's, it's more of that vulnerable child. And that vulnerable child can come from the wealthiest of family to the poorest family. It's the, the, the thing that's missing in their life that the groomers are going to fill.

Yeah, no, I just wanted, I wanted to bring it up is because it's a worldwide thing, if I'm not mistaken. After talking to some of my friends that worked on the film and the director, my, if I'm not mistaken, the US is currently still the largest.

Largest consumer, if you will, of, of et.

Cetera, Canada as well. We've got a high percentage in Canada. You know, the Western world are the consumers more. And yeah, we're seeing that. We've got.

I don't know, you see the, the kind of Africa, the Mexico, Bangladesh.

Yeah, there is a lot of supply coming from here, but the supply that's coming from here is in the things like fast fashion, the forced labor, the domestic servitude, things like that.

The sexual trafficking, a lot of it is homegrown. You know, you think about yourself as a trafficker. You don't really want to be moving people about to. You do need to move them about. To be able to get past state laws, federal laws, international laws, you do need to be able to do that. But to get them into the process, you don't want to be moving them across state lines until they're fully involved in those. They'll back your story up. Really?

Yeah. You know, it's another thing too. I was like, as I'm trying to think through this, I'm like, okay, well, some of the greatest work that could happen could be on the. On the preparation side, meaning before someone interacts with a trafficker, figuring out some way to get to see red flags or to kind of identify. Okay, whoa, there's. There's something. There's something off here, right? In all your experience, all the work that you guys have done, have you identified any specific behaviors that, you know, anyone watching the show or parent watching the show could identify to help their. Help themselves? If, you know, because I've seen adults be trafficked and go through forced scenarios, I've seen children do the same thing. Are there any things, telltale signs for someone to not fall for the trap of being love bombed or being, you know, quote unquote, swept off their feet?

It's funny, you know, when I speak to people about it and they say, you know, never happened to me, but how would I help? And I always kind of answer with, in your lifetime, have you ever changed the way you are for a partner? Have you ever, like, wore a different lipstick, wear a different T shirt because your partner doesn't like it, or change the way you dress, or change how you go out, your mates or what you do, anything that you might have adjusted to do for your partner, then if you have, then you have the ability to be groomed because it just is that kind of soft, subtle things that are happening, little changes that go on. So as a parent, you're kind of looking for a lot of isolation, solitude, spending a lot of time alone, you know, not opening up when you're asking questions. And I get asked what to do. And the worst thing is to kind of take them off the Internet, block them, take their phone, all these things. Because as kids, you know, we'll find a way. We'll go, yeah, like when we were kids, told we couldn't do something, it was just like. It was like a red rag, wasn't it? Was like, yeah, I'm doing that.

And we, you know, I was speaking to one of my colleagues the other day and she was saying about a friend of hers whose daughter had been going through a situation and he said, I don't know how it happened because I took her phone from her, I turned the wi fi off, I done all these things. And I had my 12 year old daughter with me at the time. And I said, molly, how did that happen? And she, she's, she saved her Google alert address. She then transfers it to her friend's phone. Her friend will hold that phone for her, so anytime. And she was able to talk us through the whole process.

Wow.

So the kids know what they're doing. So we need to be the people that they're able to talk to and they're able to speak to. And if something's being said, you know, they're getting so much of their information from like Tick Tock and times. Have you heard that? But I heard on Tick Tock or I heard on. It's making them kind of understand what is truth, what is fact, what is fiction. And that. Because the one thing that the trafficker or the groomer is going to do is try and convince that child or that person that they are the one to be trusted and that nobody else can be trusted and that nobody else spoken to and that they don't have your best interest at heart. So you need to just really make sure that that kid can come to you at all times and that you're not going to get angry. Even when they say things that, oh my God, you want to erupt because you know their safety is in danger. That's. You almost have to keep it calm because the whole time this person will be saying to them, I bet you they'll shout at you. I bet you they'll say this about you.

Yeah, no, that's really good. And I love the fact that it seems to be a lot more intentionality and making sure your child is willing to talk to you. Yeah, like there's, there's a lot more of intention, brother. I mean, I think in today's culture, I think one of the, one of the big struggles with parents and children is the parents get busy, they got work, life stuff going on in their head and they're trying to balance and you know, they say, well you know, just, just go sit over here with your Game Boy or Nintendo or whatever or your, or your phone and get on TikTok or whatever. Because I just, I just need a few more minutes by myself now then, you know, and what I'm hearing you say is, is like if in order to really set the stage to have the safest environment possible, it requires the most intentional focus on communication possible.

Yeah, and you know, and we're all busy and I think now, you know, we don't just do that 9 to 5 work anymore. We've got our phones, we've got our laptops, we're at home. We' we're always really, really busy. And the one thing that a kid's not going to do is say, mom, I really need to talk to you. Please can you talk to me? You know, they might say it once, but if you're on your phone or if you're not able to give them that time, it's unlikely they're going to keep coming back and saying, please, I really need to talk to you about this message I just received, or this. And to say, well, you need to be constantly there for the kid. It's really hard because you are living a life and you are doing these things. For me, it's always been a constant conversation with me, my kids, I have them all the time and yeah, I'm always busy, but they need to know that I'm always here and I'm always ready to talk as well. So trying to find that, that balance, don't get me wrong, it is hard. Like, it's really hard. Like if she walked in right now in the middle of this podcast and needed to talk to me. What am I doing? Am I cutting you off? Am I going to talk to her?

You can for me. You can for me.

But it's kind of been understanding that she, she knows that if I do say, well, actually, baby, I'm just in the middle of this conversation in a minute, but I am going to come straight to you knowing that, you know, I will come straight to her and we're going to have that conversation as well. You know, I'm the first one to say it's a super hard balance in act, but she just needs to know and they need to know that you are there, you're going to be there. And when it comes to something bad, if someone's contacted them, then that's your responsibility. Kind of into a full conversation about how this was wrong with them can blow their mind a little bit. Just thank you so much for telling me. This is awesome. You've done the right thing. Now let mommy and daddy deal with it. Now you know really simple things, but even, you know, the younger ones, there's seven year olds sitting, playing on Roadblocks or whatever they're playing on. And if someone's talking to them on there, once again, they just need to be able to tell you and then get on with their life. They don't need to be worrying about all the stress of why you're getting worried about this. Let's just tell us and then let them still be a child.

Yeah, no, that's really good. In fact, I was just remembering back, you know, I've done some fundraisers with the Malou foundation, as well as Underground Railroad, and I was with a good friend of mine out in Utah, and we were at a place called Sundance. Little Sundance, I guess they call it. Sundance Resorts.

A little.

It's you. You may or may not have been there, but it's beautiful.

And they made it a point to help us understand two things. First of all, how easy it is to attract a. A child, young adult or whatever into a problem. And two, to let us know how rampant the issues can be when not addressed. And all they were trying to do, I think, was to shine a light, to bring awareness to. This is not a small thing. This is like. This is. This is a big thing.

Yeah.

And one of the things that they did was they. They pulled up a. They had a undercover officer there who basically pulled up, you know, pulled up his phone, put it with, you know, threw it up on the big screen, whatever you could watch him touches, you know, do his phone thing. And I forgot. I don't remember what social app it was. It's a. It's a pretty well known social app. And probably. It's probably best that I don't remember it off top of my head at the moment, but within about 30 minutes of texting various children. Right. They had. He. He had literally hooked, in this case, a pedophile as he was acting as a child.

Yeah.

And within about 30 minutes, the. The. The person was sending graphic images to the child. Like, it was disgusting, but also eye opening.

Yeah.

Because this fishing strategy is happening daily.

Yeah. And I think it's really hard because I think they are. There's so many people that do amazing jobs, task forces around the world that do such good job in this. But there is still a lot, and we still have to. You know, the first thing me and my husband want to do is go out and get these people. Like, it's just. It's your gut to help, you know, protect kids. That's what you want to do. But unfortunately, the traffickers, pedophiles, all know the law probably better than most of Us So they know that if something like that, if you go and try and do kind of vigilante style stuff, it can get them off. So trying to like balance everything. And there's so many people out there now wanting to do the right thing and, and, and save kids, which of course everybody wants to do. But I can completely understand why some people can get cross wire how, how you actually handle it. So the only thing that I ever try and really, really hit hard is, you know, we've, we've got a security company. We've had a security company since before our kids were born. So they've naturally been born into this world of, of security. So our everyday life is about, you know, checking doors are locked. You know, there's just generals of security. So if my kids go in a hotel, they know things like they'll close their eyes and touch the doors along the way. So if there was a fire they would know how to get out of the hotel. We get in the hotel room, there's always one that does the lock. And people say, but are you living your kids living in this life of fear? And they're 100% not. They live in a life where they're just aware, they're socially aware. Yeah. And they've got this. One of my really great friends who runs the Global center for Women and justice, she does this talk about the toothbrush and she said, look, if we taught our kids how to brush their teeth once in their life and then you came back to them when they were like 9 years old and said, how's the teeth brushing going?

You know they have teeth.

Never pick that toothbrush up again.

Yeah.

So it's with things like trafficking and all these things, why are we only having one conversation or why are we only just briefly mentioning it? It's something that just can be done every day, but really subtly and really softly just to keep them safe, keep them aware, you know, like I walk down the street sometimes and I see these kids just holding on. Adults, I say kids, adults just staring at the phone on a constant basis and no awareness of anything that's going on. Situational awareness gone really, really low and things like that. That's the sort of thing I'll point out to my kids. Like head out your phone, you know, head up, look around and, and those like natural little instincts can build those like building blocks to protect from little things like that. So as soon as there was a DM came in, it would be message came in. As soon as there was a weird like or a Weird follow request or any of these things. It's just instantly. And Molly's almost proud now to come to me when she gets these little. And she. She'll look at her other friends and she'll say, mum, this girl's got her location services turned on. What should I say to her? How should I approach her? You know, we have those fun little conversations. So there's definitely no fear in our household. It's just a constant awareness.

Yeah, well, awareness leads to preparation. Right. So God forbid that your child, your children be put in any kind of harm's way, but if they stand a better chance. Yeah, as if, you know, as if they had not been. So I kind of look at it as a blessing, for sure. You know, one of the things that I've struggled with a lot, and I'm sure you guys do too, because I know you guys have been super successful as well, is trying to figure out where to donate money to what, you know, what thing. And one of the things that really broke my heart when I started in doing some charitable giving in this space, specifically, was how disjointed some of the different organizations were. But yet I know that one of your superpowers is raising money, but you do it from the strategy of bringing people together. How on the earth are you able to do that? Because I have yet to find organizations that want to work together.

Yeah, you know. You know, money talks. It does when it comes to these things. When we done the. The mental health campaign, mental health wasn't really our big passion. Trafficking has always been our big passion, but it was, you know, Prince Harry was setting up this foundation. He was friends with my husband. He asked him if he would help. So we went and we done this thing and it was. He wanted to do this collaboration of mental health charities. And the first thing I done when I walked in the room was, let's all get together and see what each person's doing and how we can bring it. And it was awful trying to get them to talk to each other, to each other. And I was like, well, I've got this money, we're raising this money. The money is available, but unless you work together, you're not getting. It's working.

So it's a good strategy.

And then when I'd done the same with the human trafficking organizations, what I done then was I pulled them in and I took their. Their returns, their plans, their. Everything that they were looking at doing, and I pulled everything together. And then I looked at, say I had two organizations and neither of Them worked together. Neither of them would work together. They were both doing the exact same thing. They were both aiming for the same thing. And one of them was really far ahead on one part and another one was really far ahead another part. I was like, you work together, you could achieve this so fast. But there was just so much ego involved. There was so much I want to be the one who does it. I want to be the first. I want to be. And I'm like, are you doing it for the cause or are you doing it for the. That's what you kind of need to work out.

But.

And then it was just a case of, we've got 200 grand here. You're not getting it unless you work together. And whoever achieves it doesn't really matter that it's just about getting. So we, we are firm ones that we won't work with anybody who's not collaborating. It has to be because especially in the human, human trafficking as, you know, $150 billion a year industry.

You know, the US Marine Corps is $46 billion a year, so it's three times the size of that. So you're not on your own. Nobody's doing it on their. And there's all these organizations out there, thousands and thousands of trafficking organizations that will not work with anyone else and so many that will. And those are the ones you kind of want to focus on. So I always ask, the first thing I ask for is their returns. Because your returns should be super visible, really clear. There's a lot of people get really hit up about what the salary is of like the CEOs or the CEO. Now I'm not so bothered now. If you're taking in like a million dollars and you're paying out salaries of 8, 900,000, then ye. We've got a problem.

Yeah, right.

But you do need to attract the right people. And if someone is very, very good at running a nonprofit, proven track record, have done amazing things, then there's no reason they shouldn't be getting paid a fair.

So looking at those returns and being able to see exactly where the money's going and really digging down into it, not just, well, we've done X, Y and Z, really see what they've done and understand exactly what they're doing. And yeah, and then collaboration is the second thing. Who are you working with, what projects are you working on in. In collaboration with others and how are you working towards the goals? Those types of things I think really tell you about. If they're not getting returns, if they're not showing you their projections and things and they're not showing you who they're collaborating with, then I would be nervous.

Or even tracking or, or really truly tracking their results. Yeah, you know, I think stat statistics can help.

A lot of them can contract results based on what possibly others are doing. Like, they'll say, well, we were part of this, but were they part of it? You know, and that needs to be quite clear. I think there's a lot of organizations out there who do amazing work but don't know how to get funding. And those ones, like, you really feel for them. There's certain areas in the trafficking world, especially like prevention, that that area is underfunded because you're preventing people from being trafficked. So how do you. It is really easy to kind of when a rescue happens, we can see the rescue, we can see what. This is amazing, you know, these kids are safe, etc. Etc. But you don't really see the results as much in prevention because you're stopping to happen in the first place. But there's some amazing organizations that work in that field and that's kind of where I try and put. Focus on.

Yeah, no, and I, again, I love your approach because again, it was heartbreaking for me to go to numerous fundraisers. You know, anytime you start having a, a relatively decent net worth, you get invited to fundraisers basically by the hour. And then you got to pick, you got to pick the things that are important to you. Right. So I shared with you off, you know, off air that I have a family member that went through a very tough time. So this is a passion for me. But in doing so, what really hurt me a little? Well, I'd say hurt me. It discouraged me. One, one entity was really good. They had some technology, they had some, some outreach about prevention. And then another one was like really strong in awareness. Right. Then another one was really strong in the rescue or the, or pulling people out. Right. And then on the other side, there's another organization that was really good about rehabilitation, like letting these people really discover their real value and, and see themselves as not, you know, kind of a victim kind of scenario and all the things that come with it. Because I think a lot of folks, they get to this mindset of, well, they got rescued, so they're free and they're happy and they're lucky, like a movie. And I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no. They got years of trauma and baggage they got to work through, you know, And I like your approach because I like the fact of bringing these different entities together, it's like you're put your superpower to work. You know, that's how we build businesses. Like, I don't, I don't, I know what accounting does. I like what I see on the paper. But to have me go in and just type in the stuff and do daily transactions every day would. Is mind numbing to me. Right. So in business we're all about, okay, well you go do your superpower strength. You're the strategic guy, you're the visionary person. Okay, great. You're the salesperson, you're the marketing person. Okay. But we don't do that in this on a. I say we don't do it, we don't do it. Well, from my perspective in this non.

Profit world and I think because we are like non profits are generally set up by somebody who's super passionate about a cause. That's really how it works. Is the first person that comes into nonprofit is like they've seen something, something's happened or someone in their family, you know, these type of things happen. We'll set up this, this and if they're successful, it grows and it grows and it grows and eventually it becomes a business. And then we record and then we've got trustees and then they'll have a different.

Perspective on how they want to grow this business. Whereas the, you know, the founders sitting there saying, but I still want to do this thing that I set up this thing to do and then it almost takes on this other direction. And that's often when you'll see the founders are kind of leaving or there's, there's movement happening that.

Change, changes occur. And this was, there was, there was an organization in the UK that was set up for, to support veterans and it was originally set up to support and it really did become this business to the point that one of our friends called to get advice when they were feeling suicidal and they got sent to the sales department to buy a sweater. You know, it was one of those things that just turned into this like money making business rather than actually about helping the veterans. So.

It easily happens and it's super when a cause grows. But I think that there is so many organizations out there that are collectives. That is a good one to look for, especially in the trafficking field if you look for the collectives. And normally with the collectives they'll have done a bit of research on. I know that someone asked me to set up a collective recently. I've never set up on my own. So I just Think there's so many people that need help anyway, not to say that I wouldn't, but.

And you do put a lot of research into who you're bringing into your collective. So that's. That's an important thing, I would say, to look for.

Yeah, no, that's awesome. Out of curiosity, I mean, you guys have been at this for quite some time. Like, you've been working behind the scenes, in some cases in the scenes to. To help this scenario out. How did you guys find such a passion for it yourself? Because, you know, a lot of folks that get involved in this, especially the trafficking or the. Or the. Just the. For lack of a better word, it's a slave trade, whether it's, you know, labor, whether it's sex, whatever. How did you guys find a way that you were so passionate about? Because a lot of folks will get into it for a year and a half, and they'll see some pretty horrific things, and they're like, I can't. My. My mental sanity can't even take it. So how'd you guys get into it?

I. So I. What we say. I had a troubled childhood, and when my mom passed away and I was working with a lot of older men, and there was. There was. Things happened in my life as I grew up, and that was kind of when I was more 14, 15, a bit younger. And as I got to 17, I was actually raped. And two of the guys that done it went to jail. But I had to go through the process of going to court, giving evidence, doing all these things. And it was that process that really, I would say, broke me, but it taught me so much about what the world of sexual abuse was actually like, and not just in the physical act, but everything that comes afterwards. And so I really wanted to get involved and do help around there. So I worked in things like the rape crisis center. I worked with. With kids and women. And.

My. My ability to help people was always kind of there. And what I'd gone through was awful. But I knew I had the strength to help other people. And I think the first time one of my friends approached me and asked if I could help with trafficking situation she had going on in Haiti, I wasn't able to help because she was looking for close protection. So I said to my husband, I trained to be able to do close protection because I need to be able to help next time she asks for that. So we both went into. He was already close protection, trained from the military, but we both went and got our civilian qualifications. And that was back in 2010, we trained in that. And then. So we've been doing that really ever since. And it was just. For me, it was when I see people hurting women, children especially, and I know that I've got the ability to help. There was, there was no way. And I've never been able to turn my back next. It's never ended. You know, we're constantly in this, this, this situation. So as I've kind of grown into different ways, it was originally it was, yeah, let's rescue people and do what we can, but now it is just really about educating and just stopping it. Because as soon as abuse happens to you, it's happened. And then as you say, you've got this process. People do like to see that, that, that victim, you know, like, reason she's saved and everyone's happy. But that is not the case. You know, the, the desensitization, the trauma, the. Everything, it goes on for life. So the only way to kind of stop all that is just to stop it happening in the first place. So that has been my, my. I mean, am I ever going to end trafficking and sexual abuse? Probably not. Let's. Let's face it.

But you can make an impact.

Yeah. And that's, that's really it. Stop as many people.

Yeah.

Get to it in the first place.

I think one of the other things that, in this whole space is, that's really disheartening is a lot of times those that have been assaulted end up becoming the ones having to defend themselves in courts and stuff like that. It's almost like they're. It's like the, the assaulter sitting over the corner, but yet the, the defendant, or the, the plaintiff, if you will, is having to like, prove to them that they got injured. Like, it's, it's bizarre to me. I don't understand it.

There is, I mean, I know with, with mine, for example, my two abusers admitted it straight away and then withdrew. And then we had to go through the process and then right at the kind of 11th hour, they admitted it again. So it was, you know, you go through this. But I remember the police said to me that they knew, they, they knew from the start what had happened and they just had to. Because when I went forward, nine other people came forward and one by one they dropped out because intimidation happening, there was all sorts going on. And the police just were like, please keep going, please keep going. And I remember, like, this shouldn't be so hard. Now I do understand that there's false accusations. Like I. 100%. And I think that is the most awful thing that really hurts the actual victims. But they are. These are not frequent compared compared to what actually is happening.

And again, that's not a field that I'm really focusing. But, you know, that's something that's disgusting. If you, if you do it, it's completely wrong. But.

The, the conviction side of it, I understand they have to ask questions because you don't want to be putting anybody to jail for. For something that. That's such a. An awful crime. But yeah, a lot of the things that you are kind of under the.

The question about, you know, what you're wearing, how you were behaving, how much you had to drink, all these kind of things.

Really comes back to people just. Just don't rape people in the first place. You know, how drunk they are.

And it's something that we, you know, I teach my daughter to look after herself, but I also teach my son how to be a man and how. And my husband, as well as how to respect women, how to be. I think chivalry is something that seems to have died a little bit as well. And I think that really does. Does help when it comes to preparing men for the. And how to be that way.

Yeah, I know. And I would dare say that in today's terms, they call it healthy masculinity and healthy femininity. To me, healthy masculinity is not putting your partner at risk. Exactly right. And because of that, historically, that actually increases intimacy, not decrease it. I know one of the things I think I've heard you mentioned before on some previous shows is like, your heart is like, even if the no happens in the middle of it, a no.

Still a no, and no still a no. Yeah. And it might be frustrating as hell, but tough. Like, if you don't want to be doing something, you don't want to be doing something. And it's something that, you know, I speak to my brothers about and we, you know, my brother, one of my brothers, I remember he was so passionate about if a girl was even slightly drunk, it would just be, let me have your number. We can catch up with their time. You know, it was that, that, that it should be a process that you're both wanting to do and both in it for, you know, it shouldn't be this horror. I think there's so much stuff around. I'm not going to get into the whole, like, porn subjects and everything else, but there's. Our minds are getting a little bit messed up as to what intimacy is. You've got. I mean, I'm. I'm a close protection officer. I've got a lot of, I guess, masculine things on my resume. But. But our home is pretty traditional. You know, my husband is kind of the man of the house, and I'm the female of the house. And, you know, he doesn't do any of the kind of household chores, and he does the kind of manly stuff, I guess, not to, say, pick stuff.

Up, put it down.

Yeah, you know, I can change that light bulb. But he's here, so let him. And I think it just gives him that there's a lot of. Kind of putting people down because we have to prove that we can do it. Like, sure, I can do that, but he's here. But, you know, he's. He's my husband, and that's kind of what he's here for, is to. Is to protect and look after this family. Now, don't get me wrong, I protect him from other things, sure, that he needs protected from. So. But as a man, he's here to look after the family.

Yeah, but that's the beauty. Part of a balanced relationship is like, you know, each partner is taking. They're taking a lot of responsibility for themselves, but they're taking some responsibility for their partner. And therefore, there's balance. There's no. One person's just giving it, giving it, giving. One person's just taking it, taking it, taking. And I think in a. In a dating world, when you're young and stupid and your buddies are next door. Yeah, man, she's hot. Like, you know, like, you know, and all that kind of garbage. If you haven't been brought up the way you guys are trying to raise your kids and the way your brother was brought up and where your husband was brought up to have a healthy respect for, you know, the members of the opposite sex and, like, being respectful and stuff like that. I'm still, to this day, I'm weird. It doesn't matter who it is. Like, I still. I'm still the kind of guy likes to open the car door. Like, I'll put my hand out for prayer. Like, I'll. You know, I just. I don't know. My grand. I watched my grandfather do it consistently, you know, and it just. I saw that it created excitement and beauty for other people.

My. My granddad was like the biggest gentleman you'll ever come across. You know, he was. He had so much love for my grandma, so much love for his. His daughters, but he was tough, you know, he was. He was a bare Knuckle fighter, and he was a tough, tough guy somebody didn't want to ever mess with. But he was a complete and utter gentleman as well. So I've always looked at him as an example to what a man should be. And, you know, Dean definitely has that. And I think he, he, he gets so frustrated when he sees men walking in front of a woman through a door, or would be like, you know, it's 20, 23. We can do that. But it's like those tiny little things create ripples on other things and. Yeah, for example, when you've got that group of kids in college and, you know, probably three out of five of them know what's about to happen is wrong, it just needs one of them to stand up and be like, no, guys, this isn't happening. It's wrong. We're not doing this. And that, that, that is who I want my kid to be. The person who's, who's, who's saying no.

Yeah, well, I mean, and then unfortunately, if someone makes the opposite decision there, I don't, I think this is where awareness comes into play. They don't realize that they're taking more than a moment in time. They're taking someone's.

Innocence to a degree. They're taking their future to a degree. Because that person is going to have to now look over their shoulder for the rest of their life. They're now going to have to figure out how, when they do meet someone they generally care about, how to be intimate safely, to feel safe in that moment. Like, there's, there's a lot of theft that happens, I guess, at that time in the game. So kudos to you and the family, for sure.

Moment in time. And that will change that girl's life forever. And that girl's kids and that girl's, you know, whatever else is happening in her world is going to change because of that one little moment. So, yeah, have that thought.

And I know we've been focused a lot on, you know, you know, kind of females been taken advantage, but it happens to males, too.

Yeah, yeah, of course. Yeah.

You know, I think everybody needs to learn how to protect themselves and know their own safe space and know that, you know, you know, stupid things, stupid people, stupid times and being able to talk through those processes and the, the only thing we can really do and we can't. I mean, you can't protect your kids. You can't wrap them in bubble wrap and be there all the time. Give them that armor, give them as much of it as, as they can. To be able not. And, you know, you don't want to be in that sit a guy either, like, you know, but you. You might get into trouble or things might be said, or you need to make sure you're protecting yourself at all angles.

Yeah, yeah. No, in. In today's, it's. It's even more important. You got to be. I mean, I think. I just think with enough intentionality and enough focus, people can help. Can behave like healthy adults or healthy growing adults and kind of put themselves in that perspective. Out of curiosity.

How does one, after going through a traumatic experience, get to a place of restoration or forgiveness with. With, you know, after being at the hands of assault, where they can move on and enjoy more of their life, had they not?

Yeah, I think forgiveness for me, I think, is one of my superpowers, is I've never been able to hold a grudge or hold hatred in me. Just. It causes far too much pain for you. And being able to forgive and move on from someone causing you pain is really hard. And I hear people saying, I want revenge, I want this, I want this. It doesn't help. It doesn't do anything for you. And I think that.

When we go through trauma, there's no one way of dealing with it. There's so many different. I've seen people do everything from completely go to the opposite sex for intimacy from then on, to never going with MD again, to being full, fully promiscuous. There's no right or wrong in how you've done any of that. But what I would say is that you do definitely need to get help. Like, you do need somebody to talk to, whether it is a counsellor, whether it's a friend, whether someone. If you're kind of trying to deal with it on your own, even though you might feel strong and you might feel like this is good and you're dealing with it, it's always going to kind of boil up in some way, shape or form in one of your relationships, whether it be your partner, your friends, your kids. So getting help is definitely important. I don't think there's. Again, there's not one stop shop help. You can get therapy, you can get alternative therapies, you can turn to faith. There's. There's so many different ways that you can. You can get the help, but you definitely can't do it on your own.

Yeah. So you got to seek it out for sure. Yeah. I even. I know some people that were close to me that went through some difficult times and they used to be super Healthy and active. And as soon as the, those moments in time happened, they, they went ahead and quote, unquote, the easiest way to explain is let themselves go, per se.

Yeah, right.

And it took them about three or five years before they figured out that they did it out of a place of self preservation. In that, well, if I can make myself not look attractive, then no one's going to want to mess with me.

Yeah. Yeah. That's a really, really common method. Really common. And again, really, really sad. And I've seen many, many go down that way. Just put lots of weight on, cut your hair mega short. Like, don't make any effort. And again, you're kind of letting them, them win on that one. Because really, sexual assault and abuse and things has nothing to do with how you look. It is all about the power and the dominance. It's nothing to do with how you're actually looking. But in that person's head, to them it's, let's change all these things happening.

Yeah. No. Well, I appreciate the conversation. I appreciate your transparency, being so vulnerable and open about it. I think, think because of that, I think you make an impact everywhere you go because of that. Like it's being honest and transparent and really trying to bring people together. I think it's a huge win. You guys are already making a huge impact. I can, can watch and see you guys make even larger impact, which is amazing. I mean, you got, you've already written two really awesome books, you know, and it's like, I know I knew going into this conversation it was like, do I talk to her about the books and all the things are in the books. Do I talk to her about like the, the impact? Like I want to talk to her about what, what I, what I think you were passionate about. Right. And I feel like this is a good space.

It's really interesting because if you talk to me about me, it's probably not the greatest conversation. If you talk about how to ask for money, we can have a good business conversation and we can talk about business and things, but when it comes to this side of it, I could probably sit here for 10 hours and talk to you, so.

Well, no, And I enjoy it because again, I'm, I'm like you in the sense that I want to see, I want to see a difference made.

Yeah.

Like it's, it's. Even if it's 10 years from now and that, you know, that huge billion dollar number is cut in a half or in, into 2/3 or a third or whatever. Like it's and it's better than nothing.

When the one thing does happen.

I've seen it where one girl we've spoke to who's come across something, she, you know, she's been stopped from going into that. It's just such an amazing feeling. And it doesn't matter if it's, you know, when we were rescuing people out of Afghanistan or whether we're educating people, the feeling is still the same. Going out there and being able to help someone, stopping them being hurt is, is an incredible thing. So we're going to do it forever for sure.

I love it. I love it. Well, before I let you go, where can anybody find out more about you and all the work you're doing?

It's alanastot.com Alana Stock pretty much everywhere. It's not. Not a common name. So I'm pretty bl.

Awesome. And we'll make sure all that's in the show notes. I do want to finish up on one piece of subject that we haven't touched on just from super fast and that is this content. I, I was watching an interview that you had done with a on somebody else's show recently. I don't know how recent it was, but I had never heard the term of a company being socially just or something. Basically the companies knowingly don't buy or don't procure or don't do business with anyone that they know that is affiliated with. With any kind of underpayment or trafficking or whatever. How do we in like in. In the States, like myself, how do. How do. How would I evaluate the people I'm buying from to make sure that I'm not supporting bad behavior?

Yeah, I mean the Modern Slavery act in the UK, I think it's 30 million plus. Companies have to have signed up to it and agreed to this. But we try and say you don't have to be that company, you don't have to do it, just do it anyway. And that's just basically check your suppliers. So if you've got up a cleaning firm that works for your company, check how they're employing, are they paying a fair wage, all these kind of things. You can do a little tick list, you can do anything. And if they're not, they can't even bid for the contract with you. It's just a case of they have to. So in the UK we can maybe say signed up to the Modern Slavery act, but just even check their corporate social responsibility, things like that and say, right, are you adhering to modern slavery policies? Which is just Paying a fair wage and making sure that your supply chain is being checked. And there is different things, things varying from different states. So I won't go into every single one of them. But check, check your state's modern slavery laws. And even if it only applies to larger companies, implement it in your company, because it'll make a huge difference. Because again, money talks. So if you're dangling a contract and they have to, and I've seen it with like Scottish rugby, for example, changed their policy to only people who were actually following the process were allowed to contract. So that's like burger vans, cleaners, all these things. And it makes a huge difference on the trickle effect.

Yeah, no, I think it makes a huge difference because you're not taking advantage of anybody. Yeah, right. And too many times that I've seen when people are taking advantage of folks, the people that are making. Making the extra money, if you will, already, in my perspective, from my perspective, already have more than enough.

Yeah, exactly.

Like they're, you know, what's. What's. If. What's another billion dollars? Like, if you have one, there's. What's another. What's another one?

I would say just. Just to really quickly finish off as well, is that a lot of people, because they see the movies and things, they think that. That human trafficking is about sex slavery and stuff. The human trafficking is across everything. The domestic servitude, forced labor, organ harvesting. But I understand that the sex labor is something that people can get passionate about. But if we can hit the other stuff as well and get rid of forced labor, get rid of, you know, and is coming from this. This huge demand that we've got for. Need for, like, new clothes every day and all these kind of things. If we can hit them there, then we can take some of that income away from them, which will start to affect this side of it too. So do a little bit of checking out on that too.

Well, that's why I had to ask about it, because I was like, I hadn't heard that term before. And I was like, I got to do a better job. It's just double checking. I think I'm good, but I've never done the deal just to make sure I'm good, if that makes any sense.

So your clothes as well, like, where are they made? Who's making them? Look at the factory. I mean, I'm diving deep into everything. But yeah, they're in a car wash and it's costing you 10 bucks for an hour's work. There's something not quite right there. So just have those little checks.

Love it. I love it. Well, thank you so much for coming on the show. I really appreciate it, and look forward to supporting you guys in the future. And let me know if I can do anything for you.

Thank you. So good to speak to you.

All right, take care.

Take care.

I hope you liked that video. And if you did, make sure you check out this next video right here.

I've had three strokes, and I only say that I'm not defined by it. It happened. And I know people are listening. Like, wait, rewind that. But let me just. I'm saying this in the sense that of I help people overcome the most extreme odds in the hospital. Traumatic brain injury and stroke, where they thought their life was over. And we found a new normal.