The SECRET To Becoming More And Finding Your Breakthrough | Life-Mastery Q&A

I just came out of divorce last year and I still feel very jaded from it. How do I move forward and heal without leading into bitterness? Well, first of all, I've been there myself. Divorces are never easy. No one gets married to feel like they're going to get divorced. They always get married to the person they feel like, at least in the moment, is going to be their soulmate. And that's okay, right? The reason it's okay is because there are people who are out there judging people and stuff like that. Until I would be honest with you, I was one of those people. I would actually judge couples prior to my own divorce. Unfortunately, I would do that. Not meaning to injure, but more like how come they don't understand how this works? Like it's supposed to be forever. You're supposed to be able to work through everything, and that's just not the case. Sometimes the reality is, sometimes people are toxic for each other, right? Sometimes people should have never gotten married to begin with. Now, every single session of that is a little more difficult or a little different from everybody else. Sometimes some people should have stuck it out and fought for each other a little more. Every marriage is different, right? I'm going to assume that you were wise and that you and your former spouse spent some time trying to do counseling of some kind, shape or form. Okay? If that's the case and the marriage ended, the biggest thing that you have to do is spend the next year learning more about you. Not focused on anything about them, not focused on what they did, if they were unfaithful, if they were lying and cheating and stealing or whatever. Not focused on it. They didn't pay the bills, they didn't pay the mortgage, they didn't do all this kind of stuff. You're not supposed to focus there. Instead, you're trying to focus on how can this process, how can this experience cause me to be better?

What inside of me did this awaken? What awareness that I learned of something that I don't want to happen in the future? Maybe you contributed to the process by getting overly angry or easily wounded or overly defenseless from time to time. Okay? Maybe you can learn to grow from that. I can tell you from my own experience, one of the first things that I did after I was divorced, before I started dating and all that kind of stuff again, is I spent time trying to get myself together because I flat out knew. I knew that. I knew that. I knew that there was something inside of me that I wasn't sure really how to pivot it, how to correct it, how to mold it. Okay, I knew I learned by the process of discovery. I'm a bit of a workaholic. I like what I do and I enjoy what I do. The problem is, is to a married person, to someone else who want, who values the quality of the time they spend with you, that can become across very hurtful. So I had to become more aware of that. So much so that my wife Karen today, if she tells me I've been gone too long or not around enough or whatever, I perk up and listen. And then I try to make time immediately to try to correct that because I value her. I love her. Right? I wouldn't have discovered that unless I went through the process of discovery. If you're not sure where you are and you're trying not to avoid this bitterness thing, the biggest thing you can do is not focus on them whatsoever.

Not focus on them, don't think about the things they did wrong. Just let it go. It's not going to help you, it's not going to serve you. Instead, maybe go to journeyprinciples.com resources and actually download the ebook Understanding what Drives you and or the other ebook called five Principles for Personal Breakthrough. Both of those ebooks, I think will give you valuable insight into who you are and what you need to do differently to get to a place where maybe you are ready. Okay, you are ready, you're healed enough where you are ready to attract maybe the person you were meant to be with all along. That way you can open up your hope, open up your future and open up your opportunities and your optimism. All right, That's a lot of O's all at one time. So those are the things that I would try understand you, define you, amplify you, and things will get better.

Photography is my side hobby, but I'm ready to start my own business in that area. How do I start during a pandemic? I'm ready to face any new challenge it brings. This is my passion and what I want to do. Okay, this is going to be a little tricky, alright, Because I didn't start my own business this way. So I feel like I'm fibbing to you a little bit, but I'm actually telling you the truth. And here's what I would say. If your passion is currently your side hustle, if your passion is currently your side hustle, meaning you're currently taking photography, you're currently doing video production, whatever that thing is, right? Because there's lots of different elements of photography, specifically What I would do first more than anything else is I would go start doing it for free. In general, I would do it for free. I'd make sure that I loved it from then. I would actually also try to do my best to go maybe partner with somebody who's already been doing it for a long while, an apprenticeship, if you will, somebody who would not later be in competition with you. Maybe your goal was to shoot live action and they currently do weddings, for example. Okay. But as somebody who's already been in the business a little while, who can teach you things about the business that you're not going to know, right? So that's step. So step one, work for free, do it for free. Make sure it's your passion, because some people think it's their passion until they got to do the work and do the editing, for example. Okay? So step one, make sure this is in fact your passion. Step two, lean into the apprenticeship side of things. Try to find somebody who can teach you things about where it is you want to go. And maybe you can volunteer for them to work with them and for them for free while you learn. Okay? So that's the groundwork. That's like the footing stage, so to speak, of a house. If you're going to build a house, okay. The next thing you're going to want to do after that, after you've been through that process. And I would let that process take anywhere from six months to a year, that entire first two pieces, okay. The next thing is you got to have a full time gig, obviously to support yourself. Okay? This is when the real hard work kind of really begins. And here's why. Because while you're doing your full time hustle, you're also going to have to do your side hustle and charge for it and make sure you can actually generate personal revenue or personal income from the side hustle. Okay? What point do I drop out and I get to go do my thing full time? The point when you've at least six months to a year has gone by that the side hustle is outperforming the full hustle. Got me? What does that mean? That means you stay at your full time job until you earn enough money on your side hustle to replace the income of the first time job. That sounds like a lot of work. Well, yeah, but what you don't want to do and the reason it's a lot of work is because you've got to build the credibility and build the income level to sustain yourself, right? You don't want to End up sleeping in a car and outside like I did. Just because you were ill prepared and we're unwilling to put in the work and unwilling to plan. If it's truly your passion, you'll stop at nothing to bring it to reality. If it's truly your passion, that process right there will tell you very quickly about how passionate you really are. I'm passionate about changing lives. I will do it for free all day long. Okay? It's important. But even now I still have other businesses I have to run. I still have other income streams that have to come in. I still have other entities that have to be fledged out and efficiency built. I'm still not able to go full time and just making videos. And that's okay. That's okay. I can still help as many people making part time videos as I would if I was doing it full time. It's fine. Okay. I just have to bring it, bring the A game when I'm making the videos. Starting your own photography business or business of any kind is the same exact process. One of the biggest mistakes I see future budding or entrepreneurs or entrepreneurs make is this. They jump in feet first, way too quick. I don't recommend that even though that was my lifestyle. Right? I don't recommend that for anyone who doesn't have to face adversity in that specific way. I would much rather create a stable process because the reality is based on the question that you ask. Right now you are probably a year to a year and a half before you're able to move in totally into that zone. There's a ton to learn. Just operating these stupid cameras some days is like difficult. Seriously. Like trying to find the format button sometimes on a camera can be difficult, right? You got to learn the equipment, you got to learn the editing, you got to learn Photoshop. Right? You've got to learn these things to be prepared. It takes time. So should you give up on your dream of becoming a professional photographer? Absolutely not. Should you stop what you're doing right now, no matter what it is, and jump into photography? Absolutely not. What you should do is build a bridge. Build a bridge. Build a bridge from the life that you have now to the life you want. Steady over time with consistency and work ethic. Alright, so let's recap because that was a long one. Do it for free. Make sure you love it. Do it for free while you help somebody else who can teach you the business and some of the aspects of it you forgot about or maybe you don't know. Okay? That's number Two, Number three, have a full time hustle to support your side hustle. Right. Number four, make sure your side hustle outperforms your full time hustle and then jump into your full time side hustle, so to speak. I think that's right, yeah. Do those things, you'll win at business, you'll win at life, and you'll get to do what you love to do. I hope that helps because it's the only way to do it.

How do I find what I'm most passionate about? Because I like so many different things, but I want to narrow it down so I can actually pick a career. Here's the thing, everybody struggles with that one. Everybody, everybody's trying to get to the bottom of who am I, why am I here and what do I do about it? Okay. Someone like myself, who is a jack of all trades, in other words, I know a little bit about a lot of things. I mean, everything from construction to running now tech equipment to doing videos and podcasting and all kinds of stuff. Here's what I think. First of all, I don't think you should put so much pressure on yourself to find the thing right this very second. Instead, what I would do is I would focus on just testing out the things that you actually enjoy. What I mean by that is I actually enjoy entrepreneurship, I enjoy startups, I enjoy business, I enjoy developing teams, I enjoy leadership. I don't mind being on camera for some people. It freaks them out. It doesn't bother me as much. Right. I like being on the podcast and I like doing these other different things. Right. Those are things that I like. However, what I'm most passionate about is helping you change your life because someone did it for me.

So your passion doesn't necessarily align directly, like directly to some of the activities you may face as a professional. Instead, you want the activities in the profession to face towards a passion. Because if you think about it, the list I just gave you, building business, startups, running content companies, things of that nature, all of that are modalities or methodologies to actually do the same thing, help people transform their lives inside out. I do it at my office, I do it at my team, I do it with my kids. I try to do it myself. So the trick is understanding your passions by nature. So let me ask you some questions.

Just pull a piece of paper out. Okay. What do you yearn for?

What do you yearn for? What are you yearning to bring into your life? What is your heart's call? What types of things do you dream about?

What types of types of things do you focus on? And you smile about? What type of situations and environments do you most thrive in?

What types of people do you like to most, mostly connect?

What types of hobbies do you love the most? Are you a photographer, a painter? A songwriter, a musician?

List out all the things that just light you on fire, from your relationships to your hobbies to all of it. Just list it all out and put it on paper. Now the next step is to take a highlighter or a pen and begin to circle the commonalities that you see behind each of those areas. The thing that I yearn, the thing that I hope for, the thing I dream about, the hobbies that I love. Right. The people that I love hanging out with, the environments I most thrive in. Circle each of those and then do what they call back in preschool. Connect the dots. La la la la la. Connect. Seriously, take the highlighter areas, the areas that you circled, connect them and then look and say, what types, professions? What types of professions allow for each of these to come into fruition. For example, a young man that was working at one of my gyms that I used to work out at came up one day, and he had basically the same question. I don't understand. I'm currently working at the gym. I love people. I love being here, but I just don't feel like this is my life, this is my calling. Okay, great. We met at a Starbucks, and this is pre pandemic. We met at a Starbucks, and I began to say, okay, well, tell me the things that you love. Dream, hope. And we basically play connect the dots. And here's the top five things he says. I love people. I like helping people find better ways. Okay. I like housing. Housing's fun. I like sales. And I also like making sure communities are being built. We pay. Connect the dots. Circled them all up, came up with three professions, one of which is becoming a highly paid and professional real estate agent. So what happened? Dude is rocking. It's what happened. He gets up every day on purpose, loves what he does, and he's thriving. He's living out his thriving passion of connecting people, selling stuff. Well, selling properties legitimately real estate. And he's developing communities because he's putting great quality homeowners in great homes in the great locations. So he's actively playing a role in developing a community atmosphere. Sometimes we downplay some of the main professions that come out of something like this, but you got to take the time to ask yourself great questions. As you ask great questions, you'll get better and better answers. As you get better and better answers, you get better and better clarity. With better and better clarity, you get better and better direction. It's really not that difficult. Just take the time. Go back towards the middle of the beginning of the video and actually take the pen and the pad and and pause it as you need what do I yearn for? What do I dream about? What do I hope for? What are my favorite hobbies? Who do I like hanging out with? What environments and situations do I thrive in? Identify those. Highlight the areas that they connect the dots on. Ask yourself which professions align with that and you'll be well on your way to actually operating in your passion in a career that you love on purpose, and you'll never have to work a day again in your life. Hope that helps.

All right, I hope you enjoyed the question and answer session for today. If you want your question answered on a future episode or here or on Instagram, go ahead and email me at questionshourneyprinciples.com and I'll be happy to take the time to answer the best way possible so you can begin to win in your life. Thanks again for watching.