"The SECRET To Becoming Successful In Life STARTS HERE!" | Anthony Trucks

Yeah. So what I call an ideal identity now, this is going to be the concept of what it is. And there's ways that you actually adjust all these things. So if you think about it, your ideal identity is the one that is ideal for your dream. Not mine, not Susan's or Tim's, but yours. Right. So everybody has their own aspirations, dreams. The problem is when we think about wanting this thing, we have this immediate comparison to the fact that we are not that person. So we get this imposter feel of like, I don't want to lean in because if I lean in, they're going to, they're going to out me. They're going to. It's not who I am. Right, yeah. How do I, how do I get to the point of having a true confidence in this area? And what it really is, is first you have to architect what that identity is. You got to craft it because it was unintentionally done before. So now you got to intentionally do it. And this at times honestly means accepting that you, you saw love the wrong way or sex meant something different, or you were seeing money differently. And that's, that's the process I can talk about in a second. But the concept of your ideal identity is comprised of six main factors. And it's going to be essentially your belief system. What do you believe is possible to your root believe is possible for yourself, for the world, and that's out there. The thoughts that you have. Because we can believe something, but we can have thoughts that are completely opposite. Right?

Which is, I'm for sure.

But Anthony, can you. Are you able to. What if they, what if they say something? Right?

The voice in the head.

Yeah, the voice in the head. I call it the pessimistic copilot.

I like your term better.

Yeah, you go, then you have the big actions you take, right? What are the big bold, scary actions that you take that set you a part to where you can stand up on a mountain, say, I slayed that monster. I'm the monster slayer now. Right. Now it's interesting is these each are like a Venn diagram. They overlap and between beliefs and thoughts you have your mindset. We all talk about mindset all the time and unfortunately too many people leaned on that without realizing that. There's studies that will show that if you don't have a self categorization in an area, the mindset will never work for you. If I don't believe I'm an entrepreneur, you can apply all the entrepreneur aspirations affirmations you want, but you'll still not believe it's who you are. So you'll still not succeed. When you have actions and thoughts, there's the what do I think I need to do every day? Work out, write emails, whatever it is, and I do it. And in between is your habits. And we all know about habits. I don't go deep on that. You have good habits. Things can happen amazingly right outside.

Yeah, sure, yeah.

Then you got a big key one. And this is between beliefs and actions. Now, this is the one that so many people lose sight of, but this the one that matters. Because here's the thing. As human beings, we will fight for what we believe we deserve. Our identity will not let us fall below a line. If I'm a great dad, how dare you try to challenge me on being a great dad? That's who I am. I believe it's who I am. And look what I've done for my kids. I quit my job. I show up to baseball, I show up to football. I coach. Don't you dare take that from me. Right? I'm the, you know, I'm the CEO. I've done my work. There's a belief in an action. I did the work to do it. The problem is too many people don't believe they deserve very much.

Yeah, that's true. That's very true.

Fight for a little bit. And so the question is, well, how do I get settled? Yeah, they do. And not only that. Like, they settle and they know they're settling sucky place, right?

And then they. And then they go into comfort zone with it.

They do. And then they don't. They don't push for more. And so it's like, okay, well, how do you have. These things lack. Well, beliefs and actions overlap. Think about any time that you've done something that you. You got done and you puffed your chest, get the chills, the goose pimples, like, oh, I did that, right.

Yeah, right.

Belief in action is your personal pride or your positive ego. Now, the ego, everybody assumes this negative thing, but the ego protects the identity. Without even having a second thought, it's the retort that you say. It's how are you disciplined? How do you respond? Right. Are you resilient? Because the ego shows up in the actions that you have. So what happens is people believe they're supposed to do something and they don't take the action. You lose that. You get a small little identity and you have a small. It's protecting something small. And so what happens is you don't fight for what you believe you deserve, because you don't believe you deserve very much. You didn't earn it.

Yeah.

But when you believe you should do the thing and you do it. Holy crap. Does that pump it up?

Yeah, it changes the game.

Yeah, it changes the game. So when someone comes to challenge you and take that. Oh, no, no, that's mine. When I was 15 years old and I played football, I sucked for two years. But from 15 to 16, dude, I went to the weight room every day. I lifted weights, I threw the ball in the air. When I came the next year, dude, I am catching this ball. Cause I deserve it. You do not deserve to take it from me. I'm making this tackle. Cause you don't deserve to get away from me. You weren't allowed to tackle me. You don't deserve that. Right. There's a different sense of how I showed up in my. In the football field. It's the same when I'm here. Like, I deserve that speech. I deserve that client. Because I know that I've done the work in the background to show up and serve. Amazingly, that's me. And I'll pop up and talk about it. Right?

Yeah.

I was gonna say.

I mean, one of the things that I think is. Is important for pretty much anybody who's on this journey. Right? We're all on the journey.

All of us.

You know, you talked about the ego being small. So you play small, right? You talk about the ego growing so you can play at a different level. Yeah, Right. So you take these different things and you look at. Ego is directly tied to emotional intelligence. How you respond, how you're out, what the things that you say to yourself. Right. You take all those things and you begin to put those together. And essentially that creates the belief pattern, right?

Well, it's not. It's more than a belief pattern. It determines who you are because the belief pattern is part of it. If you imagine all these things, a Venn diagram, beliefs, thoughts, actions, overlaps, mindset habits, and then ego. If you were to put a propeller on those and tilt the whole thing sideways and make it a drone. If they're all on, they all go to the top. You can fly as, elevate as high as you want, but if one propeller is out, that thing tilts and flies into a wall.

Yeah, it does. I lost a drone one time that way.

Yeah, that's what happens. So when you asked earlier, like, what is the identity? It's an active, living, breathing part of who you are. And when you consciously think through these little Aspects, it allows you to see that, oh, the reason I'm not succeeding is because, well, my mindset's weak. I believe in myself, but I keep second guessing my thoughts. Or you know what, I'm thinking this and I'm affirming this, but I don't believe this. Or you know what, I haven't taken those bold actions anymore. Or my habits suck. I mean, any one of those throw you off and you're trying to get to the top and it's like, no, when you really want to succeed, that you need to learn how to operate at a higher level. And that's understanding how all of these flow without you thinking about it. Here's some science for you. There's a part of our brain called the DMN default mode network. And this is a part of your brain that whenever you are thinking about it, like, you know, who am I? Shuts off. They studied mice. Like someone says, hey, who are you? Mice didn't ask. But people who are you? And we go to a conscious part of like, oh, I'm a speaker, I'm a coach, I'm a father, I'm a mom, but whatever it is. But then whenever someone lets you just be by yourself and you're just going through like you're staring at birds and you see some, a car crash or somebody that lights up because now who you are is running. You're in flow, you're operating that operational part. It houses your beliefs, your thoughts, your habits, your mindset, your pride. It's all in there. So when that's operating smooth, you're just in flow and you're performing very well.

Yeah.

It's determined your outcomes, your success, you have or lack thereof. And so when you asked earlier, like, what is your identity like that, that ideal identity you have to actually craft at this point in your life. I had to do it. We all got to do it.

Yes, I did.

The same thing will happen across it. Some people will just work real hard and figure it out. It just, let's be honest, it's not the only way.

I was smacked with a 4x4, so.

That'S a good way to hit it. Right?

Life just hit me and said, hey, you're going to respond to this whether you like it or not, Jared.

So, yeah, we're forced to. And so for me, like my work has been, how do I make short net for my 30 plus years to three months for people? And the shift method I created, it actually does that, but it comes from an understanding. So I'm having People go back, and for the first time, they're consciously thinking about who they are stripping that ego back. Because a lot of the. The ego also protects whatever the identity is in there. And if it's. That kind of sucks. Oh, it'll look. It'll just pretty much protected. It'll say, no, the reason this is happening is because of this, like I was doing. No, it's because my wife was horrible and the market. So my business is doing well, poorly. All these things will still be protected by that ego. It's just. That's its role. Right. So when you start saying ego, stop protecting that trash and start putting something. Protects that also.

Well, let me talk about this. So you have the situation where you. All right, so you. Let's say. Let's assume you're doing the work, right? You're doing the work. You're. You're working on yourself. You're. You're doing the quasi personal development with quotes. And I use that word loosely because personal development is a very loose word for a lot of moving parts. Right. You know, so you look at all that.

Let's talk about the overall influence. We know influences are actually really strong at the early onset of life.

Right.

We know that it intensifies a little bit as you start going into adolescence, and we know it almost doubles down when you start going into your professional career because you begin the comparison piece. Right. So we know all these places are there. One of my favorite YouTube pieces that you just recently did was actually on creating healthy boundaries.

Yeah.

And one of the things that I believe in that obviously, you know, you've heard, show me your five friends, I'll show you your future. You're the sum of the five people we spend the most time with. And it's a life truth. It's a life truth, no matter how you say it. But what people don't talk about is how to select them and then how to put a fence around making sure the wrong ones don't get in your yard.

Yeah.

So tell me about how you began to work with the boundary system, because I think you have a unique perspective on creating those boundaries and whatnot, and I think it's worthy of sharing.

Yeah. I've had. So I've had a lot of people inside the yard. So you speak.

Yeah. They're supposed to be there.

Yeah. It's as you deal with a lot of stuff, I think, in the world, when you're out in the world, like I was out in the world, just. It happens. People want to be around you because you're the college star, and you're the football star, and you're playing in the NFL. And then, you know, then I got divorced, and before we got back together, I had this big window of, like, all right, I'm the local guy who owns gym, former NFL athlete, like, has a little bit of money. And so, like, you have all these people that come in, then you just. You let them in. Yeah, it's problematic because now you got all these people in the house, and, like, I don't even know half the people at the party, bro.

Yeah, right.

And then when I started having this moment of, like, I gotta wake up to this, I started realizing, like, okay, I run my life kind of like this business. I'm the company, and I have this product that needs to go to the next level. And it's like, all right, if I'm gonna bring this business to the next level, what employees do I need now? Sounds odd, but it's like, at the same capacity.

My intimate partner in my relationship, that's an employee, they hold a role, right? My kids hold a role. My friends hold a role. My clients hold a role. And I gotta realize that every person is in this company with a specific purpose, and if I don't make sure I'm holding them to do their job, the company falters. Hey there.

If you really enjoyed that snippet, you're really going to love the full interview right here. So make sure you check it out.

When most people have a bad. A bad ability to actually. To hold the willpower of the choice in the moment, so what happens is someone comes in, people, the ones that test our boundaries. Someone says, hey, do you want to go to the bar and get a beer now? I don't want to get a beer. That's my first thought, right? I say, hey, come on.