This Is Why You DON'T SUCCEED! (Don't Let This HOLD YOU BACK From Success) | Rudi Riekstins

You know, we can look at life, but your relationships, your business, your father, your mentor, every single one of those was just a mirror holding back at you, giving you an opportunity to view and to look and resonate at how are you living? Why are you living that? And today I can sit and easily say, oh, well, you know, you picked the right dad because look at who you are today because of it. You picked the right mentor because look at this. And look at how it created that shift. Oh, you picked the right spouse. Oh, look at how this created this. Every moment is setting us up to be who we came here to be. I don't believe that our life is about us, but our life experience adds up to what we do with our life and who we impact because of it. And I think that's just the beauty because it adds so much value to how we show up.

It's rare that I come across a brother, and it was, it was nice that I was able to come across several brothers all at one time. When our mutual good friend put on an event at our place, Amberly Lago, and got to hear you speak for the first time, I was like, oh my gosh, my, my soul was just vibrating like next to this guy and whatnot. And you, you talked a lot about your authentic self and really discovering what authentic self is. I actually feel like most people don't know who their authentic self is. Like, help us break down maybe how we kind of get to our authentic self and so we can start showing up in our authentic self.

You know, the, the question's so great and I hope that your audience really understands the power and the magnitude and then the potential of the response. Meaning the response is just information, but the potential of what they choose to do with the information that they're going to get. You see, 95% of human behavior is unconscious. We are literally walking around pre programmed, and people hear that, but they don't really stop and say, what does that mean? And how does that translate? In my life, from the age of six or seven, the entire human brain has already formulated how you're going to think, how you're going to feel, and how you're responding to the majority of things that happen in life. So every time something happens after that age, it's just going to a past memory of how did you respond or react when you felt similarly, and then it's producing more of those chemicals and you constantly feel the same way. So people are walking around for the most part feeling like they've got a hustle. People are walking around unfulfilled. People are walking around doing and trying to achieve, Trying to fill something. And they felt that way for so long, or they've been in a terrible relationship and now there's resentment, or there's anger, or there's frustration, or they're in a job with. They're unfulfilled, unhappy, and there's resentment and there's these handcuffs feeling that you cannot get away, and you feel trapped, but you felt that for 4 years, 5 years, 10 years, 25 years. So that is your dominant way of how you feel, right? So it's really simple. You wake up in the morning, your brain immediately starts to scan your room, coffee table, night table, mirror. You pick up the same toothbrush, same toothpaste, same flavor, same environment. The brain says, ah, got it. I now know how I want to feel. I remember how I felt yesterday. Oh, I remember the conversation yesterday that frustrated me, or that situation, or the bank account, or the love or the lack of love or whatever the things are, positive or negative, we're being reminded of who we were. Few people pause and say, hang on a minute. Who do I want to be today?

That's right.

Now, my wife and I have this practice, and it's not tied to the same response that you have, but I feel like it fits so beautifully to the question, because every day we'll wake up and say, who do you want to be today? That's a conscious thing. And we don't actually say those words daily, but it's a practice. But we say those words to each other at least once or twice a week. And in passing, in conversation, we'll ask ourselves, or the other person, who do you want to be today? I literally was on a podcast interview this morning where somebody was talking to me about my relationship with my wife, and I said, the woman I am married to today, she is not the person I married at all. I mean, by any stretch of the imagination, she is a completely different person. And I love that person even more. But she's evolved. Most people hold themselves and their partners and their bosses and their friends and their colleagues to who they used to be. But we do need to become present to who we are now in order to fully grasp the life experience that we have.

Oh, man. That's so good. Yes. This is going to be a great episode. I can just feel it.

Oh, man. Well, look, I know that. So there's a couple different things. So, first of all, you and I both believe in energy. We believe in the human soul has resonance and we believe that resonance can, can be raised or lowered based on really, honestly choice and commitment and focus. At least from my perspective, yes. Even as a person of faith, I don't, I see a lot of overlap with both theologies. I don't see them as being uniquely separated. And one of the things that I've realized is if you're going to evolve or become the authentic version of yourself, you have to be more aware of who you are now and how you became who you are. At least, at least that's how I feel like it. So it's almost like, you know, one of those things is like, do you truly know yourself intimately? Do you really know yourself? Do you, do you know where your behaviors are triggered? Do you know where your thoughts are triggered? Do you know where, what environments, work circumstances, what you know, what taught you to have fight or flight or respond a specific way? Or at least for me, that was an enormous part of my early work, was like, all right, why do I believe that being wealthy is evil? Why do I believe that love is not something that can actually be achieved or felt or really received? Why do I feel like I have to earn everything right rather than just, you know, kind of walk, operate and flow? Talk to me a little bit about the, the process of knowing yourself intimately in a healthy way, because I find a lot of people will dig in deep and then they'll judge themselves for everything they find rather than just taking it at surface value.

You see, you're so successful today because you do what you just said in order to create a shift or a change. And let's put this into perspective for a second. You know, I will step into companies or I'll work with high performing individuals or high performing teams and support them to elevate how they show up. Obviously, revenue grows, fulfillment, joy, everything expands. The process is going to be what you've just said. And I want everybody to walk away knowing how simple the formula is. You have to have awareness to create a profound shift in someone's life, in someone's business, in someone's bank account, in a team, and aligning everybody together. There has to first be an awareness. I liken this to getting into a car and wanting to drive from, you know, Riley, North Carolina to Salt Lake City. You, you want to make that drive, you need to know where you are, and then you put that into your gps and then you get instructions on where you're going. So you need to know where you're going, right? And so those two waypoints are going to support you. And then every single left turn, right turn, intersection, highway, those are just markers along the way, helping, you know, this is where I am. And if I continue to take these steps, I'm inevitably going to end up in Salt Lake City. Right? So that's supporting you to get to where you're going. But you first need the awareness. If you woke up one day and said, you know what, my life sucks, I want to be happy. Happiness is Salt Lake City. I'm going to Salt Lake City. Well, that wouldn't work if you didn't first feed, you know, your GPS with this is where I am. And so people need to spend a certain amount of time in awareness and then I think a little bit of time in forgiveness. And what I mean by that is I believe that every single moment is divinely led. Every moment is perfect, it is beautiful, and it is happening to serve you. You and I could have a very real conversation about pain, about struggle, about hardships, about loss. And yet on the outside, I look at you and you were a man that has everything. You are so successful, you're sharing, you understand your value, purpose, your joy, your fulfillment. You're a man that could give selflessly of himself every day, in every way, which is a quality that I absolutely admire in people. And that's why I really resonate with you as an individual in a room full of powerful people, you stood out as a person who was giving, kind, compassionate, caring, and not insecure and needing to full space, if that makes sense. Right. That comes from true confidence. But we need to understand that in everything that's ever happened to us, the good and the bad, the positive, the negative, the hard, the difficult, the easy, the flow, the not, that is just all information. And that information is serving who we are. And then more than that, it's bringing us to awareness of who we're going to be next. And then when we understand this value in learning that lesson, we can then learn that and turn around and teach it. Now, I think every single person on the planet is a teacher. We're a leader. You leave your house, you communicate with someone, you interact with someone in that moment, you're teaching people how to be how you want to be treated, how you treat people, how you leave people and how you feel and who you are. It's always an example of how you're showing up in that moment. And then our legacy is the collection of all of those interactions put together. But in every moment, I feel, and this again is truly just my belief system and it supports in how I show up in the world. But I believe every single moment is divinely led by you and I having a conversation today. It's for the benefit of a podcast. You could call my cell phone and we could just have a conversation. I would be this intense on that conversation. I would be this hyper focused on you. Because I take the commitment seriously that when I'm doing something, I have to be 100% present for that moment so I can leave it better than I found it. And that is truly one of the most profound gifts, is that when you can understand the value of what you're doing, why you're doing it, and then do it to the best of your ability, you're up leveling in that moment. Yeah, but you need to be aware of all of the things that have transpired. And so when I said you need to have a semblance of forgiveness or kindness or compassion for yourself, for others, is to understand that, man, when you didn't show up the best that you could, it was because you didn't have it in you. In that moment, you were broken. You. And I don't believe anyone's broken, but you understand the meaning, right? In that moment, you just were shattered, maybe depleted. Debilitated. Deplete is a great word. And so in that moment, maybe you weren't thinking in coherence, maybe you weren't being kind and compassionate to yourself or to others. But then in the next moment, you can learn from that and do something with that information. Or in reverse, when someone else is treating you that way, you can turn around and recognize where they are and support them out of it. But every single moment is about first having awareness. And then when you have awareness, you have additional information. When we started talking, your first question, I had said 95% of all human behavior is unconscious, which means 95% of every single decision you make, everything that you think, eat, feel, food, consume, everything is unconscious. So if you want to be happier, if you want to be more fulfilled, you want to be more empowered, not empowered empowered, then you need to start being more aware of why you're doing it, so that you could do something different or keep doing something that's working. But it's going to take that level of awareness and then, you know, with kindness, with compassion, make different decisions or better decisions or more educated decisions.

Oh, man, that's so good. I was just thinking too, you know that unhappiness or happiness follows you, right? So moving across the country or entering a new relationship or whatever, until you do the work on you and you understand you, you're not going to have the full benefit of everything that you are or you. The essence of you. And then it also reminded me of, especially as it relates to adversity, trauma, triggers, all kinds of stuff. I remember for the first half of my life, I did a lot of blaming and shaming of either myself or other people for things that happened to me or through me. And then I realized that each one of those things that happened to me or through me, there's a variety of different things that, that I've shared on the show before. But in all of those, I got to a place in maturity. So I believe there's a. There's an essence of immaturity versus maturity. Maturity is when you're actually thankful for those circumstances and those situations, because if it wasn't for that, you and I wouldn't share stages, you and I wouldn't go out and be able to touch hearts and touch minds because we wouldn't be able to actually create the, the. The bridge of empathy and compassion for what that person's facing based on things that have happened to us. We're able to experience and share the compassion because it's the compassion and theory that either we were lacking or that someone shared with us for a similar circumstance. So talk to me a little about the energetic negative roots, because I feel like a lot of us are anchored down by a lot of those negative, energetic roots because of traumas or because of triggers or because of, you know, it's maybe how we kind of view kind of those things in our lives.

So we're going, we're going back to all subconscious or unconscious behavior. Right? You can have a belief that says I'm not worthy of love, or I'm not worthy of abundance, or I'm not worthy of time, or I'm not worthy of freedom, or I don't ever have enough time to do this or ever have enough time to do that. And then you're going to be met with evidence to reinforce that you don't have that time. You know, you said something a little earlier. You can go from one relationship into another relationship. And if you haven't spent the time doing the work.

Evaluating, taking accountability, which is the next step to awareness. First you have awareness, and then there's accountability. But we get to do that with kindness and compassion and love and forgiveness. Right? But it's. Accountability is a very necessary next step. And it's when you take accountability that you are always present in every single moment. There's the real value and the power in being able to create that shift because you have to take accountability that you were there every time. Like for me, I was cheated on by every girlfriend. Either a physical cheating was texting or phone calls until I met my wife. And there was a two year period from when I stopped dating until I met my wife. Because I was like, I'm not ready. I need to do the work and I need to reevaluate. What am I worth? Who should I be with? What is the quality of what I want? I wrote out a list of every quality I wanted in my wife. I stuck it on my wall and I read it every morning, every night. Every morning, every night, man. And my ex girlfriend was calling me, she was showing up at my house in limousines like she was doing crazy stuff just to try and win me back. And I would pick up that list and I would read it over and over and over, go to the door and say to the driver, please leave, please leave. I need you to leave right now. Because if he didn't leave right away, I would run and get into that car and I would race off. But I was grounded in that moment of saying, I have 100 awareness that I was present to every one of these times, so I've allowed it. And then I'm attracting through focus certain kinds of people that are going to support where I'm going. But I really think that when we look at our lives, we have to give meaning to our life. If you're just waking up every single day to do something, and I'm going to answer your question in a second about the root of all of this energy, but I really want to increase the intensity of why it's important that we do this. If you just wake up every day and you go to work, put on your pants, you go to work, you come home, take off your pants, you go to bed the next day, wake up, put on your pants, go to work. There's no value in meaning in what you're doing. And if you're waking up and you are waking up saying, today I'm going to create an impact today, I'm going to give selflessly of myself Today I'm going to serve. Today I'm going to be the best version I could be today I'm going to fill my cup today, I'm going to love me first today. And you have value and meaning in what you're doing. When something works or doesn't work, you're looking at it very differently. I believe that we have a divine Flow that is flowing to us and through us. There is this force so big, so grand, so bold, so beautiful. And I'm an extension of that force. So nothing in me is broken. Nothing in me is wrong. Nothing that has ever happened to me is wrong. I've had a man put a gun to my head, tell me to close my eyes, tell me it's the last thing I was ever going to see, you know, pull the back of the car. I heard the click. I thought that was it. And then he left. And that moment was such a profound shift in my life. It was terrifying. But it was one of the greatest blessings I've ever had. My ex girlfriend cheated on me. And one day walked down a hallway, and I saw her walking with the sky. And in that instant, I was like, oh, my God, she's cheating on me with that guy. And in that moment, my heart was broken, Right? In the months that followed were devastating, but it was the greatest blessing I've ever been given. And so in those moments when we talk about the value in the pain and the suffering or the struggle and all the successes, there's always value because it gives us something that we can then use to serve the world in some capacity. It could be a conversation, it could be a book, it could be a podcast, it could be a stage. People are listening to this, and I would imagine there are a few people that are saying, well, it's easy for Stephen to say what he just said because he's already done the work, he's healed, and he's on stage speaking. And then you included me in on that and said, well, really, you know, you and I get to speak on stages and share this. So then they say, well, okay, well, he's done the work, so he's speaking in. And I want everybody to know we all are doing it right now with or without a stage. And we all have value, we all have experience, and we all can serve from that. So let's answer the question, why do we have these root energies that are holding us back or triggering us? And for the most part, it's because we have been programmed. And I don't mean to sound like somebody who's only fixated on. On one topic, but the answer to the questions really lies in what were your parents saying to you as a child? Did your parents say to you, money doesn't grow on trees? Did your parents say to your children, should be seen and not heard? Did your parents say to you, sky.

Don'T get ahead, they get by?

Yeah, I've Heard you say that so many times, man. And so as a child, you just believe that that is a fact. It's true. And a belief is just a thought that you keep thinking, right? And at some point you have to hear it. And then so you believe it because you've thought it enough times. So every time opportunity came past you when you were 19, 20, 25, it was faltered through. Well, Scotlands don't get ahead, they just get by. And so you're going to turn out bad. Exactly. So you make decisions that match that. And here's what I want to really ground for us is that that is there for you more than just man. You know what? I used to believe that I wasn't good enough or I wasn't worthy, because that was Rudy's story. Rudy didn't feel like he was good enough. Rudy woke up one day, 16 years old, in the middle of a gymnasium of a school with a motivational speaker on stage. And I knew that's what I was going to do with the rest of my life. Man, it took me 20 years to get the courage to do it because I was so petrified that people would laugh at me, people wouldn't value me, appreciate me, respect me or listen to me. And so when I say that I never felt good enough, but I didn't feel good enough because at six years old, I walked into my first grade school classroom and the teacher called me stupid and a dunce and put a hat on my head that said dunce on it. And she said, go sit over there. If you're as dumb as your brother, you're going to spend the whole year there. And that was my introduction to the education system. And so I immediately assumed, oh, I'm dumb, I must be dumb because she's a teacher and she called me dumb. And in that moment I was dumb. I felt dumb, I acted dumb, I was embarrassed. So I played small, my shoulders went forward. And so I grew up as a kid who believed he was dumb. And I want to really add value in that. I wouldn't be able to do what I do today if I wasn't called dumb, if I didn't live for all those years thinking I was dumb. I wouldn't be able to do what I do today if I didn't first learn at 16 years old why God put me on this earth and then it took me until 36 to do it. Yeah, I wouldn't be who I am today. I wouldn't be able to create the impact. Every moment is adding value. What I want our audience to listen to today is. Hang on. What is it that I'm going through? How does it feel? When was the first time I felt that way? Is it grounded in any truth? Is it actually grounded in facts? And then what's the value? So if I was going to learn something out of this, how is this teaching me something and what can I do with it? Because then it shifts how you feel. It doesn't feel so personal anymore. Yeah, it almost feels like, oh, hang on, there's a higher plan. And that plan is for me to experience this. So I evolve. I break the cycle of the cheating girlfriend or of the job or the whatever. And now I can shift. Now what do I do with this newfound information? And there's the value. And so it creates separation between you and the energy. Because if you're stuck in the energy, you're going to keep feeling it, keep focusing on it, keep making the same decisions, but the minute you ask a better question, you create space between you and that energy. And in that space, you create coherence, meaning a reduction in stress left and right, start to communicate, starts firing. Neurologically, you access different parts of the brain, and a more confident version of you steps forward. The part of you that's always been there, but you've just always been running a different program. The one that says, pull your shoulders forward, hunch down, take up little space because you're not good enough.

Yeah, man, that's so good. I've always believed that.

That you are either programming yourself or you're being programmed, you know, subconsciously, you know, believe. And that come from. That, come from a, that, that place where my. I had my father, my parents, other friends not being picked for football, like all these different things, right? Same kind of situation. And early on, you don't realize that you're actually being programmed. You think you're living life. You, you, you're. You're trusting in the value that people are speaking in you, over you, through you, ahead of time. And then I had this interesting epiphany, probably about the time I met old man Myrick, who I've talked on the show about numerous times. And he asked me one time, he said, do you want to continue thinking like your father? You want to learn to think like me, right? And I had this contrast. I had my dad, who was borrowing money, never repaying, who wasn't keeping his word, who's working as hard as he could but still not able to keep me, make ends meet. Meanwhile, I had a very generous, wealthy, very wealthy Entrepreneur who I've seen do extreme acts of generosity. And it was the first time that I ever stopped and thought that I had a choice. Like, I actually had a choice about how I would show up or how I could show up in the world. And at the core of it, I realized that I needed to bring the subconscious consciousness. So rather than living out of automation, I started living out of direction. And, you know, one of the. One of the mantras that I use as part of my meditation process, I pray and meditate and kind of do a hobby or both, is I'm healthy, I am wealthy, I am wise. I'm a steward of the most high. I am healthy, I am wealthy, I am wise. I'm a steward of the most high. Because it's. To me, it's. It's cool to be healthy and wealthy and wise, but only if it's the act of service. And by being a steward of the most high, it flips the act of service. The reason I share that. That quick story is because in creating that expanse where your energy, when your. Your soul's resonance can. Can raise, you're also doing it from a place of love and acceptance. So accepting yourself for who you are, but more importantly, like I mentioned during Amberly's event, is tying your emotional intensity to your aspirational identity, your future. You talk to me a little bit about the importance of where you focus your attention and your energy and how that trans. How that helps us transition quicker to a higher level of vibrational resonance.

Man, I love your questions because they are layering from one thing to the next to the next. So let's touch on something you just said before we answer that question. Man, everything you just said so beautifully. And I hope people start using the same mantra, pray and meditation, because I feel like it is a prayer. And all of that wouldn't be possible if you didn't first ask that question. Remember I just said a moment ago, we need to ask more empowered questions. And you said, oh, I didn't realize I had a choice. And in saying, hang on a minute, I have a choice. That's a question like, do I have a choice? I have a choice. And then saying, okay, how do I want to feel? That's another question. It's another empowered question. It's another choice. And in that moment, you're 100% conscious and intentional, and at some point in time, you need to make the choice to come up with your own prayer, and then you need to do it again and again. And that's commitment. That's the fourth part of change that's very necessary and required. And now all of a sudden, we're shifting our life in a very different way. And you're demonstrating it so beautifully. I love that. So how does somebody anchor in an emotion into a future vision of who it is that they want to be? Something that I do is I teach a process called priming. Every single person wakes up every single morning and they have a routine of what they do, how they do it. I'm not competing with Robin Sharma's 5am club or another person's morning routine. I'm just simply bringing awareness to. You already have a routine. The question is, what is the quality of that routine and is it serving you or is it detracting you from who you came here to be? And so for me, every single morning I wake up and I go through a series of things that I do. And I'm going to give it to you in a second because it's so easy. But here's the thing. 90%, maybe even 95%, I don't know the stats, but I'm going to say that'd be pretty accurate. Between 90 to 95 won't do it because it's going to take a tremendous amount of focus and dedication and commitment. But it's not hard, meaning we just have to do it and we have to do something a little differently. So before I give you the formula of what I do to anchor into a future vision, to be able to achieve something is I want to just remind every single person that's listening that your life right now is the sum total of everything you've ever done. Sum total of every decision, every thought and every feeling you've ever had. Thoughts and feelings produce all behavior. So you are by definition the formula of thoughts produce feelings, thoughts and feelings drive behavior. You don't like your wife, your husband, your bank account, your business, your job, your friends, whatever. That's because of thoughts and feelings and then actions that you've taken to change your life, anything, any aspect of your life, up level a relationship, change your business, make more money. You just have to change one thing. Either a thought about something that you're doing, a feeling about something that you're doing, or a behavior around something that you're doing. And it's easier to change your feeling because that will chemically adopt and a change and alter the thoughts. And then the thoughts and the feelings are then going to change the behaviors. Most people try and change the behavior. So they say, I want to achieve that Thing I want to be a ripped guy, or I want to be skinny, or I want to be athletic, or I want to make a million dollars or I want to make a billion. So there's the physical thing that they forecast out now. They've got to take committed action towards achieving that. And then at some point in time, they run out of steam. Because it takes commitment to show up and do it every single day. I don't care what your goal is. I don't care how big your goal is. It is 100% achievable if you every day wake up and take committed action towards that goal. You do it enough times, you're going to hit there every time. Nothing is impossible. And so why don't people achieve what they want? Well, it's because they fail to, to, to grasp the magnitude of committed action and to being able to move towards a direction or there are preconditioned and they don't change the behavior. So they say, oh, I want to have a rip body. Go to the gym once, go to the gym twice. They fall off that pattern. They carry on eating the bags of chips and their beer and the sodas, and they don't create the shift. It's because the unconscious subconscious mind takes over and says, we'll go to the gym tomorrow, we'll work out tomorrow, we'll do it another day. And so what I do is support people in a priming process of teaching them that when you start your day, the first 20 minutes are going to dictate the entirety of how you feel that day. It's going to actually set your dominant vibrational state. So if you were to wake up in the morning and you grab your cell phone, you grab your toothbrush, you go to the bathroom, you jump in the shower, whatever your routine is, you are programming yourself based on how you've always programmed yourself. But if you were to wake up in the morning, not communicate with anybody. So I'm married to my soulmate, twin flame, the love of my life. We don't talk first thing in the morning if we see each other in the hallway. So like we wake up, whoever wakes up first just sneaks out of bed. We don't set an alarm. We haven't for years. So we'll wake up like this morning. I woke up like 15, 20 minutes before my wife. I went to my office, I went and meditated. She woke up, I wasn't in the bed. So she meditated in the bedroom. And then an hour, hour and a half later was the first time we actually exchanged words. And that was in the kitchen handing each other coffee. And then it's like, how was your morning? How have you been? And at that point in time we've already primed and prepared ourselves for our day. So when you wake up in the morning, don't talk to someone, don't read email, don't check social media, don't turn on the news. Because everything that your brain receives in the first 20 minutes, that is when your brain is the most susceptible to change and stimulation. So if you learning about forest fires in Canada and you wake up and that's the first thing you see. Your body's producing thoughts and feelings and chemicals about fear, nervousness, stress, anxiety. But you have nothing to be nervous, stressed or anxious about. But that's the way you feel. Then you go to work and someone says, hey man, how you doing? And you are like stressed and anxious and nervous and you don't know why. And then it builds and it builds and it builds. So now when somebody calls you and says, hey man, I'd like to give you an opportunity to invest in this and this and this. And it's a sure thing. You're going to feel nervous, anxious and stressed about it. Not because of the opportunity, because you pre programmed your mind and your body. Yeah. But if you were to wake up first thing in the morning and spend five to 10 minutes imagining how you want your day to go, what do you want for your life? What are you grateful for in your life? And then just hone that feeling for five to 10 minutes. You're going to be chemically altering and inducing your body into a state of already having achieved it. So my goal for my life, my vision for my life is to be on a stage in front of 85,000 people 40 weeks a year. That's my goal. I want to live to 103 years old and I want to be doing that right up until the end. Like that is my vision and that is my goal. I love that vision. So every single morning I wake up, I will go to my journal, I will write out statements that I'm grateful for in an I am grateful for. And then I'll bring in things that I have that I'm genuinely grateful for. Then I'll bring in things that have never happened yet. So it'll be goals, visions of the future. I am grateful for that red sports car if that's what I want. Right. I am grateful for my holiday home, I am grateful for my new clients and I'll just start bringing in these things and intersperse them with things I already have. Then I'll pause for a moment and I will feel those things. I will feel the gratitude for my wife, I'll feel the gratitude for my children. You know, this morning I woke up and I actually expressed gratitude for this podcast interview. I was grateful for the meeting of you. I was grateful for the connection, I was grateful for the friendship. I was grateful for your servant heart. And so I just spent moments feeling grateful. None of that is hard. So when I finished my meditation and my journaling practice this morning, I walked away feeling grateful. And you added to that gratitude. But I was grateful for you. But I still felt the end result was gratitude. So now every opportunity that comes up in my day is grounded in gratitude. It's grounded in joy and feelings and fulfillment. And so right before the end of that process, I will then hold the vision of me on stage in front of 85000 people. I've never been on a stage with 85000 people.

Just give it time.

And so I, I, I don't know what that looks like, I don't know what that feels like.

But let me can always see the front couple of rows.

I was gonna say in my head, man, it is electric. And then if I wake up from that fantasy, from that visualization, from that imagery in my mind of sitting on my couch for that 5, 10, 15, 20 minutes in the morning, sometimes it's an hour. It depends on what's going on in my world. But man, I feel invincible. And so I access a very different part of my brain. I make very different decisions. I filled my cup, I feel purposeful. And then there's one last thing. And I'm going to walk through the formula one more time so that everybody can see how simple it is. But then I open up my calendar only 20 minutes after I've woken up. Never before that. Now I look at everything I have on my day and I go line by line. What do I have at 9 o'? Clock? Then I just for a second, 2, 3, 4, 5, 10 seconds, I imagine, how do I want that to go? Then I go to my 9:30, I go to my 10, my 10's an hour long meeting, I don't want that to go. Then my 11 to 12, how do I want that to go? Then I have a lunch break, 12 to 1, what am I going to do for lunch? And I imagine how I'm going to feel after lunch. Energized, light, ready to keep going. Then I think about My two o', clock, my three o' clock and I go through every single line item and then I have this mini little visualization or fantasy. I'm going to use the word fantasy again very strategically. And so with my interview with you, I imagined hanging up and being like, whoa.

Man, I love that guy. And so I.

And we're heading down that track record.

Dude, we're nailing it. And so I wanted to feel that this morning at 5:00am and so now when my body hits 3:00pm and we hit record and you're like, 1, 2, 3, go. Let's go. Yeah, man. And your energy was off the charts. It matched how I felt this morning. And so my body says, oh, we've already been here, we've already done this, we've already achieved this. And so now it's just about showing up. And so it's pre paving your day. So you wake up like that, meditate, journal, and then fantasize.

Yeah.

And that fantasy is about using the emotion with the visual imagery that it physically alters your body. Yeah, I use the word fantasy because everybody's had a sexual fantasy. And then your physical body physically altered itself, but nothing was happening, but you had the physical reaction. But why don't we have dreams and goals and visions that physically alter our bodies? Make the hair stand up on your body, make like you be feel electrified and energized. And so that is how we need to send the energy forward. And what we're actually doing is we're pre paving that energy to meet that. And then while you're on your way, you're going to get markers the same way as left and right. As you're driving a car, you're going to be told like, hey, I'm on course or I'm off course. Hey, I'm not feeling that energy feeling that I was thinking of this morning. Something's wrong. How can I course correct? And now we're back to asking more empowered questions.

Dude, I love it. Absolutely love it. I was just thinking the power of intentionality. Everything you just described is done with intention. It's not done on autopilot. This is, this you are, you are telling your body, your mind, your soul, this is where we, where I want us to go today. And I was just kind of thinking, and you're talking about obviously the, the, the way you and your wife kind of relate first thing in the morning that you guys do your individual meditation practices and then come together, which I think is beautiful. I've confided in you, obviously I'M I've about three months ago I decided, well, I decided it was time that I started working my way into a life of singleness for a while. Okay. And my life of singleness for a while has to be done with intention, right? So what types of questions should someone ask of themselves to get the most out of a, a transition time frame? You know, so when, when the time does arise to enter into a potential new relationship or whatever, what types of things should we be asking of ourselves and due diligence should we be doing to prepare ourselves for that next environment?

I love to teach people that we are all worthy and deserving of having a 10 out of 10 in every single area of life. And so the opening question on every area or every category is am I Living A 10 out of 10 is my relationship A 10 out of 10 is my health? A 10 out of 10 is my well being, my freedom, my everything. And if you can rate that, that's feedback. I love to say to people information is simply just information and information is invaluable unless that information is somehow used or put into practice. And what I mean by that is someone can walk up to me and say, wow Rudy, you know, you're just a real dick. And I won't take offense, I will stop and I will say, well that's really fascinating information. Interesting that that was not how I intended to show up, but that's how I made them feel. So what can I do to course correct it's information. Most people hear that and they take offense and they become judgmental and they become defensive. But the real power is being able to ask very good questions and saying, was I wanting to be a dick? Is that how I ended up being one? Or was that an accident? Or what did I say or do?

Is this person just having a really day?

Exactly. And so if, if you were planning for any level of transition in your life, if you don't do what we're suggesting on this conversation, if you don't do this, you're living your life by default. And everything in life you need to be intentional. If you asked me what I do for a living, I would say I teach people to be the highest self leaders that they can be. Because then when you lead yourself at the highest level, you're qualified to lead other people. And to lead other people is simply just to inspire people to be the best self leaders. That's truly what leadership is. And so if you think about that as a question, when you are unfulfilled or unhappy in a Relationship or in life and you wanting to create a shift or a change, well, you need a marker of where are you? And so to ask, like, hey, man, you know, am I happy? Okay, well, I'm not happy. Why am I not happy? Well, my relationship's not great. Okay, why is it not great? And then write down, why is it not great? And there's the thing, most people don't write it down. And I work with so many CEOs or high powered personalities or athletes or people that have achieved something in life.

Yeah.

And I'll say to them, man, you need to write this down. And they're like, I don't write things down. But if you don't write it down, if you don't put your feelings down on paper, you don't have something to physically tangibly look at as a waypoint of where you want to go. If I asked you to give me a business plan on paper, oh, well, we would throw that down right away. But isn't your life and your well being and your happiness and your joy and your fulfillment more important than a business plan? And that's the value, is every morning creating a business plan for your day. And then when you have bigger projects like leaving a relationship or entering a relationship, and that's why I love that you also wrote out the list of what it is that you're looking for. Because that is saying, what am I worth having? See, what not many people hear is that I wrote out a list of what I wanted in my partner. And then I read it every morning and every night for two years before I met my wife. I actually gave my wife that list on our wedding night. And that was two years, not to the day, but two years after I wrote out that list. But what most people don't hear is that during the two years, I met many people that I thought were great, that were wonderful. I went on a few dates, but I had that list in my head. And the minute one of those qualities, not three, not five, not ten, the minute one of those qualities were not on that list, I walked away and I just said, it's that, no, I deserve, I deserve it all. I deserve that whole list. Now, my list was longer than 10, but I deserved a 10 out of 10. And so that's what you need to do. Because when you can make that declaration of I deserve better or I deserve to be better or do better, then you level up. And then you also level up the people you're attracting. And when you can do that in your life, you're going to bring in new opportunities and those opportunities are going to match or mirror what it is that you're living and what your experience is. Because everything that's happening around you is simply just a mirror. You know, we can look at life, but your relationships, your business, your father, your mentor, every single one of those was just a mirror holding back at you, giving you an opportunity to view and to look and resonate at how are you living? Why are you living that? And today I can sit and easily say, oh, well, you know, you picked up the right dad. Like we're playing a game. Like, you pick your parents, but you my dad, because look at who you are today because of it. You picked the right mentor because look at this and look at how it created that ship. Oh, you picked the right spouse. Oh, look at how this, created this. Every moment is setting us up to be who we came here to be. I don't believe that our life is about us, but I agree our life experience adds up to what we do with our life and who we impact because of it. And I think that's just the beauty because it adds so much value to how we show up.

Yeah, I totally agree with that. And I love, I love the way in which you broke that apart. I also think it's worthwhile to say it's okay to refine that list as your life progresses. So I'll give you an example. One of the things that I didn't realize that I actually yearned for or even needed, and I'm just being transparent, my audience knows it and you're, you're a close friend, so we can talk. Like, this.

Is, I didn't realize I wanted someone to support me. Like, even if it's just like encouragement in this category of stepping out and serving at scale. Right. I didn't, I didn't, I didn't know it because I, you know, five, 10 years ago, I wasn't really necessarily pursuing a thought leadership career or developing live events or creating media for other people or doing, you know, my own books and resources and videos because it takes a lot to put yourself out there. But the people that are closest to you, it also takes a lot on them as well because, you know, in theory they're, they have to kind of be cognizant of where you're trying to go. And I didn't realize I actually wanted that or yearn for it. I thought, okay, well, if this is not your world, you want to live a low key world. Okay, that's, that's Cool. You live low key. I'm gonna go out and serve as many people as possible. And then what I realized was, is that wasn't in alignment, right. It wasn't a complete alignment. But however, that thing would not have been on the list five years ago, where now it's on the list in that either a cheerleader mindset or someone who else is doing the same thing that I'm doing in a different capacity. Like, you go, girl.

Get it, girl.

Yeah, you know, kind of thing. And I just want to give the audience permission to continually refine that list because the person that you are now is going to jot down the things that the person you are now would jot down and not necessarily the person that you are five years from now. Does it make sense?

Amen. Honestly, I couldn't have said it better. Absolutely. Amen.

Yeah. So I'm trying to think through it. I mean, you mentioned earlier that your wife is not the same person she was obviously when you got married, but it's actually better. And I know the meditation practice that you mentioned is. Is probably super helpful. I assume that you guys do things together at a very intimate level, like you guys know each other very intimately to stay that unified in the capacity that you guys are. What are some types of things? Because, you know, people spend at least 2/3 of their. Relate 2/3 of their life around other people, and most of those are insignificant or close relationships, whether it be in business or romance or whatever. What types of things, strategies or techniques can we use to build that level of intimacy? Whether it's in the marketplace or in the. In the bedroom, so to speak. But, you know, the. The marital bed or whatever to call it.

Man, your questions today are so on point. The answer to the question is. Is so intertwined in everything we've spoken about today. My wife and I are two people that are connected and committed to each other in every sense of the word. But we also know and understand our responsibility to each other. And my responsibility is to see her for who she is. Right. To hold her to her highest potential, to support her, and then to encourage her and to understand she is going to change. She is going to shift and change. One day she's going to say to me, I don't like that, whatever that may be. And I'm not going to turn around and say, well, you'd like that for 12 years. I mean, I need you to keep liking that. No, she gets to say, I don't. I don't want to do that, or I just don't enjoy that person or I don't like that kind of movie. And then I have to respect, she's a different person today. And so that's where that falls into. Who do you want to be today? But my responsibility is to be that person, to support her, to encourage her to know we are two human beings, Two completely different people choosing to live and support one another. And that starts first and foremost with seeing her for who she is. A benevolent, powerful, incredible being that I have the honor and the privilege of being with. Now, with that being said, she sees me equally and she supports me back equally. And then in addition, we also hold each other accountable to those high standards. You know, when I said to you, I am committed to a 10 out of 10 relationship, when I married my wife, she was not acting as a 10 out of 10 partner. I was not acting as a 10 out of 10. But let's be very clear about that. Obviously we have significantly improved, both of us. But my point was, when I met her, she was not being a 10 out of 10. And what I mean by that, she was kind, she was considerate, she was compassionate, she was sweet, she was non combative, she was submissive. Really. I mean, she would just say yes. I would say, I want to do this for dinner. Okay. I want to go here. Okay. I want to do this. Okay. I'm going to go play golf. My brother 36 holds. Okay. Everything was great. And after six months of marriage, I sat her down one day and I said, hey, babe, can we have a real conversation today? And she's like, yeah, sure, what's up? I was like, no one's this happy. Like, I need you to be honest with me. Like, what's going on? Like, I need to know what's going on. And she's like, nothing's going on. And I'm like, nothing is as good as what I'm looking at. Like, you were never mad, you're never upset, you're always kind, you always come like, what do you want? And I had to bring that out of her today. She's this powerful, incredible force. I mean, she's a vice president of a massive, massive company that 3,000 employees. I mean, she's crushing life and business. But let me tell you, the, the woman I married would not be the, the C suite exec running a 3,000 person company today. Right. Just because she wasn't showing up that way. But it took someone to see her to create a safe space and then to call her forward. Man, she calls me forward every single day. Just two days ago, she said to me, man, I love you, but, dude, you needed you playing small to hear your wife after 12 years say to you, dude, you're playing small. You. You are playing small. And then she gave me all the reasons for where I was playing small in my life, in my business, and whatever I was doing, did it hurt my feelings, man? It did, absolutely. To hear your wife say that, but it was said with love. It was said with kindness, said with compassion.

She's calling that future you forward is what she's doing for her. Love it, man.

Totally.

I love it. Before I ask the last question, I'm curious. Where can Buddy find out more about you and how to work with you, man?

You know, rudyriks.com I'm. I'm gonna hope that you put it in the show notes for me, because it's a doozy. R U D I r I e rudyr.com ins so, yeah, rudyrikstein.com is my website. You can catch him on Instagram or LinkedIn at exactly the same handle. I, you know, I just. I want to hear from anyone and everyone that has taken something of value from this conversation, because that's my favorite part of doing it. My wife and I have a podcast that we have together called Empowered Life. In Empowered Life, because we believe perfectly, beautifully, and divinely put here perfectly to do what it is we came here to do and who we came here to be. And there's nothing lacking in any of us. And so it's not about being empowered to do something which is an external force. We have that force flowing to us and through us. So catch us on the Empowered Live podcast and you get a little bit more of this conversation, but with my better half taking it away.

Awesome, dude. All right, so final question before we head out. What does it mean? Or what does it take to truly become unstoppable?

Take committed action every single day towards what it is that you want to have to be, to do and to achieve. I have never met anyone in my life ever that was destined to be a failure or destined to live a life of unhappiness or unfulfillment. I've also never met anyone who's ever dreamed big enough. You know, before we started this podcast, you shared something with me, and I'm not going to divulge it, but you shared a goal revision of yours, and it was massive. I mean, massive. And in the back of my head, I'm like, how can we 10x that? How can we 100x that? Because no one has ever dreamed of big enough. We look at elon Musk, right? 260, $280 billion net worth. You know, he's created these massive companies that have physically altered everything that we do in life. And still I don't believe that man has touched his potential or his capacity. We can do so much. And the only thing that ever stops anyone from doing anything is believing that it's possible, believing they're worthy and having it, and taking committed action. And if anyone listening to this today just shifted one thing about how they feel about what they want, their worthiness in it, what it would take to do it. And they just took action and every day took another step and another step and another step, man. Everybody would achieve their dreams. And that's my goal and my vision for everybody.

I dig it, dude. I dig it so much. And I love you so much. Thank you for coming on, man.

Dude, I love you.

We have to do more and more of this. And I guess, I guess when I, when I do the big vision, I have to build an 86,000 person stadium. We can just get you on stage and just get that dream knocked out and then you can go to 150 after that. How about that? So.

Oh my God.

Dude, I'll call you to 10x your you 10x your dream if you call me to 10x mine.

Done. Done. I will hold you to yours if you hold me to mine.

Beautiful. You got it, buddy. All right, man. Take care. See you.

Appreciate it.

I hope you liked that video. And if you did, make sure you check out this next video right here.

What happened is I started studying hormones because nobody in science disagrees that men and women's hormones for well being are completely different.