This Is Why You're NOT SUCCESSFUL & Happy In Life! (FIX THIS!) | Jon Acuff

If you can paint a picture of the worst thing that can happen, you can probably teach yourself to paint a picture of the best thing that can happen. It doesn't happen overnight.

As I've been reading through soundtracks, it's becoming fast. One of my favorite books. You know, there's a lot of talk about mindset. There's a lot of, you know, ways in which we approach mindset, but yours is a very practical, methodical kind of way. And there's so many different concepts in the book. I want to break some of them down. You know, the primary one, the problem that I'm seeing is this, this, this thought process of constantly overthinking. We've got a young man named Connor on our team that who would dare say he's a recovering analysis paralysis kind of guy.

Sure, sure.

So how did you want to, I mean, how did you even like set out to write a book on overthinking and fixing that power?

Well, I mean, I think the three things I always look for in a book, and I think this is true of any business you're going to launch, any product you're going to do, any book you're going to write, any speech you're going to give. It's kind of my Venn diagram for a best selling idea. I look for personal connection. Am I personally connected to the content? Because you're going to write about it, talk about it, think about it, work about it for years. So there better be a personal connection. Number two, is there actually a need when you're talking to people online at events like friends at the pool, do they actually need it? And the third is, is there a spot for it in the marketplace?

Yeah.

So I had the personal connection. I changed how I thought about a few things 13 years ago and it really changed my life. And I've been an overthinker my entire life. The second thing was I have a PhD named Mike Peasley who helps me with the research. And we asked 10,000 people if they struggle with overthinking and 99.5% of them said yes. So huge need. And then I went to the marketplace and realized there's a lot of great books about overthinking, but a lot of them say stop it, stop it, stop it. So stop overthinking.

Yeah.

And my approach was, why would I ever turn off this amazing machine I have? Like, I'm a really good thinker. Wouldn't it just make more sense given what we know about neuroplasticity and our ability to change our Brains to feed that with good thoughts versus bad thoughts, to have thoughts that push me forward and hold me back. And so that's when I was. I said, okay, I'm willing to spend a few years in this topic, in this conversation. And it's been a blast, dude, it's. It's.

It really is. It's a fantastic book. You know, one of the things that you say in the book that I think it resonated, really allowed me to really loudly with me, is that if you basically listen to something or say the. Say something to yourself long enough, it becomes part of a playlist. Break that down a little bit, if you don't mind.

Yeah, so let's take, you know, a mom, for instance. So a mom is five minutes late to the car rider pickup line, and she immediately says, I'm the worst mom. Or every other mom has it all together, and I don't. Part of the reason that happens is that she's listening to that. That soundtrack over and over and over and over again. So every time you touch a negative soundtrack, it's like putting another handle on it. It just gets easier to pick it up next time. So you, you know, all of a sudden that she got her kids up early, that she worked a full day, that she scheduled carpooling for the weekend, that she, you know, got dinner ready with her husband, whatever, it all disappears in a matter of seconds because she's listening to that soundtrack so many times. And that's why I chose that phrase soundtracks to describe a repetitive thought, because they're often playing in the background of a scene, but if you remove them, you realize how powerful they are. So I want. I really wanted to show that we all have soundtracks. We're all listening to them. Most of us just don't understand what they're actually doing.

Yeah. You know, it's funny, when I was reading through the book and I started, you know, hearing the term soundtracks and playlists, I was like, the movie that came up, the top of my mind was Top Gun. And the song that came to my mind was Take My Breath Away.

Oh, yeah, sure. Yeah, yeah, totally. Totally.

Right?

Yeah.

And I think. Yeah, exactly. You know, I think it just goes to show that, you know, we do have an unwritten script that's constantly playing on a consistent basis. You know, immediately when I thought of that, I thought of the soundtrack that went with the movie. I immediately put myself in my high school slow dance. You know, my hands.

Yeah. I hear Billy Vanilla, Blame it on the Rain, and I'm like, I'm back at the eighth grade. Like, you know, blame it on the rain. Melly Vanilla. You get it. You get it. Yeah, exactly.

Well, you know, everybody, you know, to your point, everybody is like, mindset, you know, mindset. One of the reasons, you know, my team tells me all the time, talk about mindset. I'm like, I don't want to talk about mindset. I want to talk about mindset because it is, stop doing what you're doing. Do it differently. One of the things I love about soundtrack specifically is the awareness of understanding what soundtrack is actually playing and then choosing to do something different. Now, is that something you experienced in your own life on a regular basis? I know you mentioned you're kind of a. You are kind of an overthinker by trade, but you've been really successful, obviously, for a number of years in this particular space.

Yeah. So I think for me, where it started, I was stuck at a job. I was in my early 30s. I'd kind of hit a plateau, which you never want to hit in your early 30s. You think, I'll hit that in my 50s and felt really stuck. And I started to write online. I just realized, wow, I can share ideas with a lot of people if I work hard. Like, you know, think about in the 50s, you had to have a radio station or a newspaper column. And now we get to do podcasts and blogs. And so I started to write in 2008 on a blog and event planner out of nowhere said, hey, would you come speak at our event? And at the time, I had no evidence that that would work. I had no experience. I didn't even know you got paid to speak in events. I just had this thought that said, I think I can do this. I think I can do this. And that became kind of my first experience of going, I'm going to choose the thoughts I have. See, most people, even my most high performing type A friends who lay their clothes out the night before they go to the gym don't understand that they get to pick their thoughts out too. Yeah, Very few people go, this Thursday, I have a big business negotiation. So here's the three soundtracks I want to play. Or here's when I'm leaving at home, for instance, like I've been taking advantage of. In business situations before, it'd be easy for me to listen and develop a broken soundtrack. People are trying to take advantage of you, be on guard. When you go into a business situation, they're trying to screw you somehow. And then you go in with that soundtrack playing. It changes Your actions. That's how it always works. Your thoughts become actions, become results. So you really start to go, okay, what would happen if I decided these are the thoughts I'm going to have so that I generate the actions I want so that I get the results I want? So for me, that was the first time I really saw that happen. And I turned that thought and, you know, into a thousand different actions and a thousand different results. It's why I live in Nashville now. It's how I hit the New York Times, a seller's list. It's really helped shape my life. And this idea of, I think I can be an author. I think I can be a public speaker again. I turned it into action. It's not. My goal of the book isn't that you feel better. My goal is that you perform better. So we're constantly moving towards action. How do we take this action? That's where mindset books kind of get stuck, is that they stay really high level. They stay really kind of fuzzy, and you go, well, what do I do with that on a Tuesday? What do I do with that next week? And that's what my. You know, that's my goal, is to always move to action, because then you get to really see life change.

Well, one of the things that I think is so beneficial about the practical way in which you approach this subject is this sense of not only choosing what thoughts you get to think, basically, and now leveraging that to amplify your best behavior, so to speak, but also this sense of curiosity and wonder. In fact, you have this quote in the book that I love. Hopefully I won't butcher it too bad, because I got it here. If you can worry, you can wonder. If you can doubt, you can dominate. If you can spin, you can soar.

That quote spoke so loudly to me because, you know, as someone who's overcome homelessness and went on to build businesses and a few other things, so much of my potential has been wrapped up in what I believe is true about myself and, you know, and the things that I grew up with, you know, in my environment. My father, for example, saying one time, you know, skagens don't get ahead. They get by believing that as a.

Lie, some sort of family motto. Like a terrible family motto. Exactly.

Like, you're gonna put it on a royal crest or something. You know, it's crazy, you know, and as I look back, and I look back at all the different things, part of the reason that I later became an author and speaker, ironically, is actually attributed to you, but is Digging in deep to figure out how to change those belief systems. When you. When you were going through that, what led you to kind of even quote that and come up with that?

Well, I just started to realize, you know, the big question I kept coming back to was, what if you could figure out a way to turn overthinking from a super problem into a superpower? I think all too often we leave such good stuff kind of in the shadows because we think it's all bad. And so I wanted to sit with it and go, oh, wait a second, wait a second, wait a second. Like, if I'm already really good at that, if I've. If I've got a brain that's trained to think quickly on a lot of different levels, like, what if I could just give it the right thing? And. And. And that's the thing. Like, worry is just use is just a misuse of imagination. Like, it's. You know, if it's. That's, you know, if you can paint a picture of the worst thing that can happen, you can probably teach yourself to paint a picture of the best thing that could happen. It doesn't happen overnight. Like, you might be really good at the one, but all of a sudden you realize it's like flipping a paintbrush over and going, wait a second, there's a. There's bristles on the other end, and it's still a paintbrush. And I still have the same paints, but the experience is completely different. And so that's become a big part of my life. Philosophy is going, okay, if, you know, if this thing is something that I see in my life, how can I find the value? How can I make it work for me, not against me? What. You know, like. And it's like anything else. I mean, we've all seen in life that a strength can turn into a weakness if you use it the wrong way. So I'm a public speaker. Like, one of the things I love to do is have the ability to read the room. So I can speak to a group of DJs in Vegas, and the musical act is Rob Bass. And, you know, it's amazing. And then, like, two days later, I'm talking to chimney sweeps in Branson, Missouri. Completely different, but because I'm able to read the room and kind of the way I approach things. But if you're not careful, that strength can be turned into manipulation. Like, where I shouldn't be reading the room in my kitchen. Like, I should be present in the room, you know? And so, like, so I think every strength can turn into a weakness and vice versa. What if you could take these weaknesses and turn them into strengths? That's a fascinating question for me.

Yeah, no, I want to piggyback on that a little bit. You know, so as a world class speaker, obviously you spoke to hundreds of thousands of people, you know, when we started, because we're talking about changing the soundtrack would have been very. It seems like it would have been very easy to get into a soundtrack that, oh, crap, here's Covid. Oh, crap, I can't travel. Oh, crap, I can't speak. Oh, crap, my income is going to tank. Oh, crap, oh, crap, oh, crap. But yet you've managed to, like a lot of mutual friends that we have. Rory and a few other people were managed to go, you know, create virtual environments, but the virtual environments don't necessarily allow you to read the room. How were you able to change the soundtrack in your head when you can't physically read a soul, so to speak?

Yeah, well, so, I mean, first of all, I'd say I definitely had months where I was like, oh, this is the worst. Like, I didn't. I never want to look back. I think there's a great temptation as an author, speaker, whatever, to look back and gloss over things as if they were easier than they were. And it's so discouraging to people. And that's where the overnight success comes from, because we gloss over. So there were definitely months where I was like, oh, this is a bummer. You know, things are canceled or postponed. And I came to a place where I needed a new soundtrack. And my new soundtrack was, I could pine or plan. I can pine over how things used to be. Grumble, frustrate, or I can plan. I can plan where I am. So then the second question I asked myself is, what would have made this easier this year? What would have made it easier? And I sat with that, and then I went and built those things so I could say, what would've made this easier? Having a podcast would have made this easier because then I could communicate with clients, I could share ideas. I could eventually have another income stream. Awesome. I'm not going to regret I don't have it because that doesn't serve me. I'm just going to go now to go build it. So a year from now, what will you be glad you built? And so once I got into that headspace, I could be like, all right, I'm going to do some online challenges. I'm going to, you know, have my own podcast. I'm going to try out YouTube. I'm going to, you know, explore the community text app. So that's. That's where I got, you know, kind of that helped me. And I'm going to figure out virtual events. I've done about 40 virtual events or so with their virtual event. It's just, there's small tweaks, like your energy has to be higher than it would necessarily on a stage because you're communicating through a screen.

You have to allow breaks for laughter even though you can't see people laughing. And so I just started to figure that out. And then the thing you remember is that every audience is made of the same thing. Humans. Like, it's humans, it's humans, it's humans. And so if you'll remember that, whether they're sitting on Zoom or whether they're in a live event, like, they're humans. So how would you talk in the same way that somebody go, you know, talk to one people, not an audience. How do you talk to, you know, to one person that's sitting there? And I, you know, I've. I think there's. There's great benefits of being able to do virtual. I've certainly enjoyed it, and I think it's going to make, ultimately make me a better live event speaker because I've traveled. I've done the challenging thing of just a. Just a lens.

Yeah. I mean, humor has always been so much a part of your presentation style. You're just totally.

You're not.

You naturally have a sense of humor and call things like, you see them. You like, you bring the obvious end of. In the viewpoint, basically, totally. You know what I'm saying? Well, when you started to try to pivot to try to create a new strategy or plan forward, one of the things you mentioned in the book is the importance of having lists to create clarity. What do you think people go wrong in trying to change their soundtrack, if you will, and how that relates to trying to get clarity to a situation?

Well, one way is they give the problem a year and the solution a week. So an example of that is they'll go, john, I'm, you know, my diet's not working. I'll go, how long you been doing it? They'll say 10 days. How long did it take you to gain weight? 10 years. So you gave the problem 10 years to develop in the solution. 10 days. Like, that's so unkind. And so that's one of the things that happens is that there's some soundtracks that can change in an instant. Like things that change. Like, yeah, when you say you work with somebody who's difficult and they're, you're just like, oh, we never get along. They're so frustrated. And you find out his wife has cancer. Changes everything. Changes your whole perception, like just knowing and like, oh, it changes it. So that can happen. But often you get this new baby soundtrack and you put it up against like this 10 year old soundtrack that's been doing push ups in the prison yard and you go, I hope it works. And you get like, the new one needs time, the new one needs space to develop. So I think sometimes expecting faster results is where we get, we get in the way. Or measuring the results too quickly. I mean, it would be crazy for me, you know, so I have a podcast called All It Takes is a Goal. It would be crazy for me in the first month to go, I'm going to look at the downloads now and decide if it's a failure or success. Can't do it. Like be crazy in the first three months, the first six months, whatever the timeframe is. So I think that's a big, a big challenge for people is that they look for results that aren't there yet and then they judge the whole experience based on them.

Yeah, and it's kind of the kind of mimics that thing where, you know, you mentioned earlier about, you know, overnight successes. Not. And people don't understand, there's been five, 10 years, 15 years of prep work, getting to a certain stage in life.

Totally. It's not fun or like, and I think there's a tension there. There's a real tension because if somebody said to me in 2008, okay, it's going to take you 13 years to get to this certain level, I think that would have been discouraging. Like, I think like I had that happen once where I was at an event and I was doing a book signing line and next to me was John Maxwell and he was doing a book signing line and he had 100 people in line and I had zero. And somebody patted me on the back and was like, 10 years, buddy, 10 years. And I don't know that I was encouraged by that. They were right. Like, I mean, 10 years actually feels fast considering what John Maxwell has done with his career. But so I think that's the tension. We're afraid to tell people, hey, here's what happened. But like for me, for instance, like, if somebody goes, hey, how do you write tweets? How do you, you know, how do you come up with hooks? How do you come up with headlines, whatever. Well, I spent 15 years in corporate marketing. Like, I wrote headlines for Bose and Home Depot and Staples, Chick Fil A. Like, I, like, I benefited from that. Also majored in advertising. So it'd be unfair for, like, I had, like, if you Count College, like, 19 years of learning how to turn a sentence. So it'd be unfair for me to go, you should be able to do this, like, tomorrow. Like, but. But we don't want to say that because we don't want to be discouraging. So I think sometimes we gloss over that, and it creates this false expectation of what can happen. And I don't think it serves people.

In the long run when it comes to discouragement. Do you think it's just because we were scared that we're going to have to put in more work than we think we have in the tank?

I think we're afraid of the work. I mean, I can only speak for myself, but I think we're afraid that we're going to do all this work and then look up and realize it was the wrong thing. I think that's part of it. And, you know, I've got limited amounts of time. I think we, you know, I think that's part of the fear. I think anytime you have to be an amateur, when you've been an expert in something else is humbling. It just is, like, to go and make mistakes again and, like, get out of their comfort zone. So one of the. One of the soundtracks I give people when they have to change or grow is be a tourist. Be a tourist. Imagine you're a tourist. Like, what a tourist have in common. They ask lots of questions. They don't pretend to be experts. You don't get to learn if you're busy pretending. They request help from experts. They make mistakes. They have fun. So if you said, okay, I'm starting a podcast, I'm going to write a book, I'm going to start a family, whatever. I'm going to be a tourist versus I expect to be as good as the last thing that changes the experience completely.

Yeah. You know, it's funny when you. When you look at this whole thing, I'm going to put myself in the shoes of the listener right now, watching or listening. John, I understand what you're saying. I've been challenging my beliefs for as long as I can remember having trouble getting that to take, you know, to accomplish basically a goal and change my mindset. How would you tell them what would be the first step they would need to essentially change that soundtrack? What would you tell them to do well.

So the first thing I'd say, like, let's identify a broken one. The easiest, fastest way to identify a broken one is to write down a hope or a desire. So write down, I want to write a book. I want to start a family. I want to be a mom, Want to be a dad. Want to change jobs. I want to get a promotion. Want to start a podcast. Doesn't have to. Want to lose five pounds. Doesn't have to be massive. Could be big, could be small. Just write down something you want to do, a change, a positive change to your life, and then listen to the first thoughts that come next. Like, listen to your reaction, because every reaction is an education, and you're going to be surprised, and chances are it's not going to be positive. And so then you take that and go, okay, that's a broken soundtrack. And then you ask it three questions, three really simple questions. Is it true? Is this thing I'm telling myself true? Second question, is it helpful when I listen to it over and over again? Does it push me forward or pull me back? Third question, is it kind? If I said it to a friend, would they still want to be my friend? And there's a reason you ask all three. Sometimes it is true. Like, we're on a podcast. So let's use that example. Maybe you say, I want to start a podcast, and the first thing you hear is, I don't know how to start a podcast. That's true. At that moment you don't. But is that helpful? Like, is listening to that over and over and make you eager to do the podcast, or does it push it off one more day, one more, one more year? Yeah. And is it kind to yourself? It's not. So you ask all three, and then if you can't say yes to all three, you've probably identified. Okay, that's a broken soundtrack. That's not serving me. So what do I want to put in its place? So the first thing is identifying one. Self awareness. And it's fascinating. The is it kind. I was on a podcast interview the other day, and in the middle, the host kind of got quiet and I was like, what? And he said, well, I've had the number one podcast in my category for nine months, and the soundtrack I've been listening to is, you're just lucky. You're just lucky. You're just lucky. Lucky. If a friend came over and told me they'd worked really hard for nine months to build something, I'd never say, you're just lucky. So if I wouldn't say it to a friend, why am I saying it to myself? So those are Trojan horse questions. Like, I guarantee your listeners right now, like, those are the simplest, easiest questions. They are like, nobody's surprised by those words, but if you actually sit with them for a minute and ask them, you're going to be surprised by the soundtracks you're really listening to.

It's funny you mentioned that, because I find, and I know you found, probably found the same thing, that the simplest solutions are typically the most effective ones.

A hundred percent. Like, all the time. And we over complicate. And I'm an over complicator. Like, I, you know, add steps. And I mean, my favorite one, like, an example of that. Like, I can't if. If there's three cars in our parking lot, in our garage, or not our garage, but our driveway, and we need to move them. It takes me 19 steps, and my wife goes, no, you just move these two and you're done. And, like, it's like, my brain is like, complicate everything. Make everything complicated versus just going, what's the easiest way that this could be done? And I think Greg McKeown, in his new book Effortless, talks about that a lot, about why do we think it has to be so hard? What if it could actually be easy? And I think that's a great question.

Yeah. And one of the things I love about soundtracks is the fact that you spend a lot of time breaking things down, not only from a conceptual perspective, not only from a practical perspective, but. Okay, here's the actual daily step you can take right now. You know, one of the concepts that's discussed a lot in thought leadership is affirmations. Making sure, you know, you're affirming yourself on a regular basis and you're kind of reprogramming. But you had an interesting spin in your book. Break that down for us a little bit.

Yeah. One, I didn't want to study that. Like, I'm pretty skeptical. I like skeptical. I don't like cynical. But they can kind of. One can mutate into the other. Yeah. But I'm kind of skeptical. I'm sarcastic. Like, I like to communicate with humor. I don't like when. When I feel like I'm getting lied to or whatever or somebody's exaggerating.

Yeah.

I think most motivational stuff on the Internet is just garbage. And I grew up with serenity now from Seinfeld. Like, serenity Now. I grew up with silent life saying, I'm good enough. I'm Smart enough. Doggone if people like me. So I didn't want to study positive thinking, but I kept running into this weird thing where people I respected and looked up to people that were successful, not just financially, but like people that were life successful. They had families, like the kind of family I'd want, or businesses, their health, whatever. If you get them off camera and go, hey, or off Mike, hey, what do you think about positive thinking? They'd all go, well, I got a pep talk I give myself. Or, well, I got some declarations to say. Or, well, I got some mantra. Like, the words changed, but the mission didn't. They were doing that. And I was like, oh, no, I got to study this. That's what I did. So we did that in a couple ways. One, I had a great conversation with Tom Zigler, Sig Ziglar's son. I got to have lunch with Zig and his wife a few years ago before he passed away. And he was so kind to me, and I've always remembered that. So I was like, okay, I'm going to talk to Tom Zigler. Because in our country, Zig is kind of the godfather of modern motivation. And so had a great conversation with him. Then I tried Zig ziglar's affirmations for 30 days myself to kind of test it. And then I took thousands of people through an affirmations Test with the PhD, this guy Mike Peasley, who helps me to study and say, okay, can doing that lower your overthinking? Can can it decrease your self doubt and can it increase your productivity? Again, I want you to perform better. I want you to get more done. Like, can doing that. Are those things connected? And the results are crazy. One of the things that this study found was that people who did the affirmations more than people who didn't worked on their goal nine days more each month. So they actually were more committed. So imagine like we always look for, like a little hack. Imagine if you get nine days thrown at your goal every month to work on it. Like, the amount of productivity you'd get. So the results are really fun. But yeah, I'm always honest about that. Where, like, the two things I say are, like, one, I think it's as silly as you do. Like, like, if you're like, oh, this is the cheesiest thing. I'm like, amen, dude, I'm with you. But it works. Yeah. And two, there's real value tied to it. Like, Google did this huge study called Project Aristotle a couple years ago because they were like, hey, what do our most successful teams have in common? So, okay, we've got all these teams. What are the ones that are doing the best have in common so that we can do that on our other teams? Yeah. Studied 180 different teams, 35 different statistical models, millions of dollars invested, and the number one thing that was most common on all their successful teams was psychological safety. Psychological safety is you can ask questions, you can admit you're wrong and suggest new ideas without being judged unkindly.

Yeah.

So that is it kind question is tied to performance. So when somebody says, like, is it kind like if you're a sales team and you're like, go, go, go, go, go, and you're like, is it kind sounds soft and weak. I agree. But I also know that Google spend millions of dollars and they're doing okay and they're realizing psychological safety. So if you added that to your performance, you'd be surprised how well it worked.

Yeah, I know. It's funny. One of the things I love most about soundtracks is not. Not just the methodology behind the mind, but from a perspective of it is a tool to reprogram. You know, if you think about it, your childhood is essentially programmed into you until you're, you know, probably an adolescent. You know, you're not really thinking for yourself. You're. You're listening to whatever your parents says or parental role models are. You then have life experiences that either teach you something about your. At least your awareness of your identity or environment. And. But when you look at the affirmations and the things that go along with it, depending on how you word it, depending on how committed you are, I mean, essentially you're rewriting a program just like.

Yeah, and we. That's only recently that we even knew that was possible. I mean, that's, you know, science around the brain has come so far. And I'm by no means a scientist. I never, you know, but I have a brain. And I. You know, when you read about neuroplasticity, which is this idea that your thoughts can change the physical shape of your brain, it's really exciting because it means you're not, like, you are not in a position where your dad told you this, Scoggins don't get ahead. They get by. And that's now your lot in life. Like, that's been spoken and that's a rule, and you have to live against it. Like, no, you get to say, okay, brain. You might be prone to think that because you've heard it a lot and you heard it from somebody Important.

Yeah.

But we've got a new thing that's true and helpful and kind. And so we're going to think that instead. And we have the benefit of growing up knowing neuroplasticity works. Our parents didn't even have that benefit. Like, that's. That's a crazy benefit for our generation. And I think that's really important.

Yeah, absolutely. No, you say in the book, too, that obviously self care starts with self talk, which is kind of what we're talking about. What are some personal examples of how you shifted your own self talk to actually increase your overall self care?

Yeah. So, I mean, one was four years ago, my wife was like, hey, you're a jerk for two years when you write a book. You're a jerk for two years when you sell it. That doesn't work. Like, that doesn't work. And she said, essentially, I'd rather you be a happy plumber than a miserable writer. And so I needed a new soundtrack. And the reason I did was I had kind of a chaos crisis soundtrack. So I had a situation about 12 years ago where this thing blew up with this company I had started, and I had to save the day. And I learned in that moment, I can function in a crisis. All right, not a. That's a true statement. Not bad. But soundtracks tend to mutate and deteriorate over time. Like, they get more negative when they're not taken care of. And I can function in a crisis turned to, I function best in a crisis. Then it turned into, I need a crisis to function. And we've all met leaders that are like that. They're great at putting out fires, and when there's not a fire, they start one. And so I was amping myself up to write a book because I was using crisis as fuel, and I was a miserable person to be around. So I had to say, okay, I need a new soundtrack. My new soundtrack is light and easy. This process is going to be light and easy. That's what, you know, it's on my wall. Like, I tied it into, like, a hundred different things that I worked on to say, no, I'm going to enjoy this process. I'm going to work really hard at it. I am. But it's going to be light and easy. So that's one that specifically for me, the creation of the book, the marketing of the book, the, you know, promotion of the book. I've gone in with this. Okay, it's going to be light and easy. I started writing the new book just the other day, and I was like, oh, yeah, this is going to be another one that we had a meeting with the team. It's going to be light and easy. Remember, like, I spoke about it in every team meeting and we had. I would say, hey, remember, light and easy. Light and easy. Like, how do we do this in a light and easy way? And that changed the experience for us.

So is it safe to say your wife likes this? Is this experience better?

100%. Yeah, totally. Yeah. And it's. She feels like it's the best book I've written in part because I wasn't it. I wasn't like, clenched fist with it. I was like, okay, let me go into this with open hands. Let me go into this with a light and easy experience. I mean, I remember I missed. We went to Maine, Bar Harbor, Maine, Acadia, maybe like six years ago. And I was physically there, but mentally missed the entire experience because I knew a week later I had to finish this book I was working on. Yeah. And so, like, I've done the other way. It's not enjoyable. And like, I. I can kind of remember that vacation, but mostly not because I was so focused on when I get there, when I get back to Monday, it's go time. It's go time. It's go time. And that wasn't light and easy. So I've done it both ways. And yeah, I definitely prefer light and easy.

Love it, dude. Well, look, you know, you talk a lot about cymbals and utilizing cymbals in the book to kind of help you change your soundtrack. How important are symbols in. In getting that soundtrack kind of re established?

Well, that's why the third step is, you know, it's retire broken soundtracks, replace them with new ones, and repeat the new one so often they become as automatic. You've got to give them a fighting chance. And so symbols really help that. And it, you know, I kind of joke that it took me 45 years to discover something. Brands have known for, you know, for thousands of years that cymbals work. Like, the Nike swoosh is a symbol. Like, you know, when you see it, you think, just do it. Yeti found a way to turn a cooler into a symbol. Like, in the 1990s, nobody put an igloo sticker on their car to let you know how they refrigerate stuff. Like, nobody was like, hey, I want you to know how I keep stuff cold. Got an igloo sticker on my car. Like, now people do that. Lululemon is a symbol. And so I really was challenged to go, okay, how can I add some symbols to my soundtracks to make them sticky, to remind myself? And there's so many fun examples in the book. I mean, one of my favorites is this guy who. He wanted to kind of lose weight, focus on his family. He had all these goals, and he could hope he remembers them, or he could. He got these dog tags that were engraved with them, and he wears them around his neck and he can go, okay, here's the. You know, we've. And chances are we've all done that. Like, everyone who has a picture that reminds them of their. Their, you know, something that's special, that's a symbol, you know, I picked one up the other day. We were in Jackson Hole, Wyoming, and my soundtrack for that trip was don't miss it, because the book was going to launch two weeks later. And again, I just told you about the experience in Maine. I have a habit of missing things, so I said, don't miss it. Picked up a pine cone in Jackson Hole, Wyoming. They're free. They're right on. Like, it was right on the street. Yeah, I have one. So, like, it's on my desk because there's going to be other don't miss it moments. And I want to be reminded that there's a lot of people. I live in Nashville, right down the road from you, in Raleigh, and there's a lot of people that use tattoos as symbols. Like. Like, we're a town full of artists, and so it's just a little way to tie that new true thing to something that's visible and real and something that's actual. You know, it's physical in the world.

Yeah. I mean, two things come to mind. First of all, I have a massive lion tattoo on my shoulder that reminds me of my grandfather. It actually says silver fox. That was his nickname. And, you know, he led me to faith. He essentially spoke that I would eventually be speaking at one time, like, over the course of my life. All the wisdom he poured into me, it does remind me of him every time I see it.

Sure. Yeah, totally.

Yeah. The other thing I was thinking of, too, is we have some mutual friends throughout the thought leadership space. One of them is probably Evan Carmichael. And then Tim Schmoyer. Tim Schmoyer told me one time, you know, he's pretty good. Sizable YouTube strategist. That essentially every personal brand, every brand, every. Every identity is in need of a symbol. Like you were saying with the swoosh. The apple, you know, the apple. Apple, I guess, is the best way to say it. You got windows that has the colorful window, right? You got Google with the Google written in all kinds of different colors. When you began looking at those different symbols and starting to kind of distill the information for that, when you began looking at that, how tacky was it? Did it take time to let that symbol kind of seep into your soul a little bit? Was it pretty instantaneous?

No, I backed into it. So I got a $300 ticket for. For using my phone in Canada while I was driving. I was at a red light. Cop walked off the sidewalk, knocked on the window. I was like, what? And he gave me a ticket because they had just changed the rule in Canada. I didn't know it. And so I was like, well, that sucks. Like, let me. I want to stop texting while I'm driving, but I've tried a hundred times, like, so many times. It's all, you throw the phone in the backseat, turn it off, whatever. And it never took. So I was like, okay, I'm going to go to the bank and I'm going to get $200 in dollar coins. And every time I drive successfully without using my phone, I'm going to put a coin into a mason jar. And I did that 200 trips in a row. And my wife was like, that's ridiculous. It's your money. You're not making money. Like, you just turn paper money into metal money, and now you're going to then go turn it back into. I was like, I don't care. It works. So, like, for me, that's one of my mantras. Like, I don't care if it works. Like, if it works, I'm going to do it. Yeah. So I did that. And then I was like, oh, that's really interesting. Can I tie that to other things? And so it worked so well that I started to study it. That's why I started to study it. I was like, why did a coin matter? Like, why does having, like a roll of half dollars matter? Why does that change my behavior? That's where I started to study it and realized, wow, there's a lot of other people already using these. And then from there, it's kind of like anything else. I figure out the idea, I test the idea with a bunch of people, and then I try to distill it in the simplest way possible and go, okay, here's how you actually do it. So that. That was really fun to me.

Yeah. No, and it's a great process. It was great to read about. And then, you know, and just I got to thinking, like, okay, what do I have? And I got to think it. So I wear white shoes anytime I'm presenting or anytime I'm doing something fun. It was designed to remind me that.

Anytime that I'm in front of an audience, it's not about me, it's about them, which is. I know. Something you're super passionate about as well. And to basically give me a spin off reminding that I'm walking on holy ground, like a stage or an environment that allows you to present to other people is an honor. It's also a great responsibility.

Yeah.

I got to thinking. I was like, well, okay, that's. That's one of my.

That's a hundred percent a symbol, dude. Of course.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I mean, I have speaking jeans that are like. Usually I'll wear a suit, depending on the audience, but if I'm wearing jeans, like, there's a pair of jeans I only wear on stage. And we've called them speaking jeans. And it's like, no, no, no. That's like. It's kind of like. That's when I know it's go time. So, yeah, I totally, like, the white shoes are a hundred percent a symbol.

Now, let me ask you this. So the speaking genes, was that before or after soundtracks? In other words, were you already before. All right. That was something you've been already been habitually.

I know. That's why, like, when I looked back at my life, I was like, oh, my gosh, I've been doing this for years and years and years. And then I was like, are other people doing this? Can it help other people? Can I take it to the next level? There's things in my life where I stumble upon them, and then I go, oh, that. That kind of worked. Like, I wonder, like, could I try? Like, I'm very much like a motto, you know? I don't know who originally said it, certainly wasn't me, but I'm very much of the school of, like, ready, fire, aim. Where, like, you try it and you go, all right, what? What exploded? What didn't explode? And you go, okay, let me try that. Because for me, as somebody who struggles with perfectionism, that's a way around that to, like, do the thing to the best of my abilities. Launch it, Deconstruct it. Launch it again. A little better. Launch it. Deconstruct. Do it again. And so, yeah, that. I just. I've been doing speaking genes probably for 10 years at this point.

That's crazy. And this is probably the first podcast you probably discussed the speaking genes probably on this tour, huh?

In this detail? Yeah, totally. No, I don't. Nobody cares about speaking genes.

I do.

Yeah, well, as a speaker. That's because you're a speaker.

It's funny. You know, I interviewed James Altucher recently, probably about a month ago.

Genius, dude. That dude has a different brain than most of us. Like, there's people you meet and you're like, oh, like, yeah, that's a different brain. Like, I probably have like a handful of 10 friends. I'm like, they got different brands. James is one of those.

He's a good dude, but one of the things that, you know, he brought up was this. This idea of happy little experiments. So there's. There's no such thing as challenges or whatever. They're happy little experiments. You kind of just articulated that, but in a different kind of way. But at the same time, if I apply that to the soundtrack mentality, if I'm a recovering perfectionist, a recovering overthinker, recovering analysis paralysis. It seems like the best way to approach something is not whether or not it's going to fail or succeed, but whether or not it's going to learn or grow.

Yeah. So the way I say that is one of my soundtracks is I'll get a success or a story. It'll either be a success or a story. Like, I'm going to win this thing or I'm going to get a story. A story that teaches me. A story that often encourages. Encourages other people. Like when I fail and go like, hey, here's this. Like, it's. That's what's fun about having a little bit of a platform is that when you encourage people, they go, oh, I didn't. I thought. Yeah, people tend to think, like, you get to a certain level and you don't have insecurities or failures or frustrations or whatever. And when you go, like, no, like, I've got plenty of those. Yeah, like.

And most of them hit you right before you step on stage. Reminders.

Yeah, I have to not, like, check my email for like an hour before stage because, like, you know, you're kind of already like in the zone and you don't, you know. No, I kind of have to be locked in.

See, I gotta fast. I can't, like, I can't have anything.

How long do you fast? Like, if you're pre. If you're speaking at like 6pm Are you not eating the whole day? Yeah, no way, dude. Yeah, no way. No, I'll get lightheaded. No, I need something I'm not having. Like, I'M not eating a big meal, but, like, I'm definitely eating something. No way. I don't know. It's just.

It's something that's.

I know somebody else who does that who's super successful for. Forget his name. And maybe Ken Brown or Kevin Brown. Like, he totally does that. I've heard other speakers say the same thing.

Yeah, I know Hyatt has a bowl of oatmeal. I think it's one of his things. But, you know, I did it a long time ago because I made the mistake. I was about two hours before I was supposed to present and I walked on stage and I had had lasagna.

No, dude. I was like.

No.

No way. That's. No, that's crazy. It's a bad decision.

Well, as you can tell, I, you know, I was a happy little experiment. I changed my soundtrack. You know what? You're not. You're not going to be eating before you hop on stage again, so.

That's funny.

Dude. I love the. Love the book, love everything. Doing a fantastic job. Been following your career for some time, and I can't wait to see you guys to continue to explode and grow. It's going to be amazing. Where can everybody find out more about you, more about the book? Pick up the book because it's definitely a must read for my. From my standards.

Oh, thanks, dude. Yeah, I guess the best place to start would be my podcast. So if you're listening to this and you're like, oh, that was interesting, check out All It Takes is a Goal with John Acuff. I think you'll. I think you'll enjoy the podcast. And then I'm just Acuff me is my website ACU F F Me and then John Acuff. With no H on most social media platforms, the book is available everywhere.

Rock on, dude. Well, thank you so much for hopping on today, man. I really appreciate you.

Yeah, thanks for having me, buddy.

Cool. You now better understand how the soundtracks of your mind can actually control your ultimate outcome. While you're doing that, make sure you grab the book for yourself. And in the meantime, enjoy this next interview right here. Take care.

At the end of the day, whether we are moving or staying stagnant, we're giving ourselves permission to either stay stuck or to evolve. But there is permission being given in some capacity.