This ONE THING Is Holding You Back From SUCCESS & HAPPINESS! | Jesse Ross

We can measure iq, we can measure emotional intelligence, but there's really nothing out there about how to be aware of and how to manage your ego.

I've been itching to get started, understand more about dreamwide. You got to tell us what dreamwide is, man. What is it?

Yeah, you know, it's a framework. I mean.

Dreaming big is failing us. And it's such a common phrase. We just tell everyone, like, hey, dream big, go for it. And, you know, I get it. And it doesn't mean that we shouldn't dream at all or that we should dream small. The whole concept is that we have to start wide first. And I just really believe that we're kind of shooting ourselves in the foot. We start, you know, the typical process. You know, you're a businessman yourself. We typically think, well, you know, what's the pain point out there? How can I meet a need? And then now I need to create a product or a service, and then I'm just going to go full, you know, full stop, and I'm going to focus. And we talk about laser focus all the time. Like, we've heard it, like, if you laser focus, you know, if you look, if you focus light, it could burn through steel. And that's a true statement. The problem is, is that we get so laser focused that we lose sight of everything on our peripheral vision. And sometimes those things are the most important foundations we have. Relationships, it could be.

Our community. We lose sight of things because we're so driven, so focused, and we lose sight of the environment. We just run through things. We, you know, and we lose sight of each other, and then we neglect ourselves, and a lot of people are just burning out. It's burnout is just way too common.

Yeah. I mean. Yeah. And that's so true. I mean, I think I even read this week that Bill Gates and his wife have decided to split up. Yeah. And I can only assume, you know, after being an entrepreneur. I mean, my wife checks me on a regular basis as an entrepreneur because, you know, I'm constantly going, going, going. I get excited about new ventures, and I've got the entrepreneur brain. And she has to literally. We had to actually put it in a calendar. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, I have what's called coffee with Karen.

Wow.

A lot of times, you know, by the time she wakes up and I'm back from the gym and stuff like that, maybe it's a half hour. But it's a chance to try, to try to connect. And that's something that I'm still Working through myself to make sure I'm fully present in the moment. Because, you know, as an entrepreneur, my brain's going a thousand miles an hour, which I think a lot of people are. But, you know, we had to get intentional. And I can only assume you take someone like Bill Gates and his wife and, you know, kind of assume that the struggle to create Microsoft at some point in time probably took a strain on the marriage, not to mention all the different initiatives that they've created ever since between the two of them. So, I mean, I think there's gotta be intentional focus in different areas.

Yeah. You know, and some people will tell me, well, that's just the cost of success or the cost of doing business. You know, like, you got to sacrifice all this. And I'm like, you know, I'm going to call you on that. Like, yeah, here's the thing. It's, what do you value? You know, if, if, if you value something, and we're really good at setting goals, creating milestones, tracking, and if we would just start to create some goals, for example, that serve others. How about having some goals? Like you said, you're. You're calendaring something. You have to do that. You have to be intentional. But I think we don't sometimes, you know, we go to sleep rehearsing our goals. I remember being able to just. If someone said, hey, tell me about your top two goals, I could, word for word, spit it out. Give the frame. When is it happening? When's it supposed to be accomplished? And then, like, we forget, you know, our children's birthday, birthday, you know, we forget our anniversary. So if something's valuable. And that's why. And I think that sometimes in business, we need to get used to seeing some goals that we are celebrating as a culture of a business where it's like the school down the road from us does not have, you know, the teachers have to buy their own supplies.

They don't have the resources they need. Whatever's involved, how can we step in and let's make that a goal. Let's create a framework around that. Let's reach it and celebrate it, you know. But it's not just philanthropy either, though. Like, what I'm really trying to convince people of is that this is actually a secret to success. If you, and this is my phrase, I say all the time. It's like my mantra. If you commit to the success of others, everyone succeeds, and that includes you. And if you do it the opposite, where it's just all about my best life, I'm looking For creating my goals, achieving my dreams. I'm telling you right now.

Biggest failing. It's like it's lonely at the top. We have so many examples, especially in Silicon Valley, of people who just went all the way to the top. They get up there and they're like, man, I'm depressed, I'm lonely, I'm isolated. This doesn't mean anything to me.

There's a lot of folks that I've worked with, for sure.

Yeah, yeah.

Is the same thing. The athletic industry is the same thing. A lot of the folks that I work with in those industries, you know, they're, they're incredibly successful. Incredibly successful at their niche.

Yeah.

And then they struggle in every other area of life.

Yeah, yeah. And, you know, it doesn't have to be that way. And I think that, you know, and to get to where you need to be, even in a business, like if you want to have successful business, you need to prioritize your customers.

Yeah.

You don't prioritize your own needs. Like, you know, in a relationship, if you want a healthy relationship, you need to prioritize your partner. If you want a healthy, you know, just keeps going on and on. And like, if you, if we have this mindset of others, first of thinking about. And there's a lot more joy that comes with this kind of work. And you look at businesses like, one of my favorite right now is Patagonia, for example, they just kind of buck the trend in prioritizing the environment, prioritizing their employees, prioritizing the needs. Like they, there are people lining up to work for them by the hundreds, but they don't have any turnover. No one's leaving that company because they prioritize their employees. And people might think, well, you know, I'm saving resources, I'm trying to penny pinch here and you know, get to work. How. What are you accomplishing? How much? And they do it the opposite. They're like, what are your needs? Do you want a month off to volunteer and travel?

Go.

Do you? You know, and they're completely taken care of, but it's adding to their bottom line.

Yeah. I mean, even, even with our, our, the businesses that I own, we actually, I correct somebody in a heartbeat. It's a culturistically thing, culture thing. I don't allow the word employee. It's team members.

That's cool.

And no servants above their master, so to speak. You know, no boss is above their, their, their delegates or what? Like, I don't, I just don't believe that, like, if there's a box to be moved. Somebody moved the box, and that includes me.

Yeah.

I shouldn't pass by the box 10 times and not pick up the box. And that can be both literal and figurative. But essentially, the most powerful organizations, the ones that seem to be the most successful, do have this holistic approach to quality, overall quality of life. With any organization, it seems to give people power to fight through hurdles and adversity, but also peace of mind. When you're through that battle, that adversity, everybody gets to kind of like, you know, not so relax at the same time, but you kind of enjoy the process at the same time.

Yeah, yeah. And, you know, when I hear you talking about that, I think that sometimes our ego. You know, this has always shocked me, and maybe you can help me because there are so many personality. Like, we can measure iq, we can measure emotional intelligence, but there's really nothing out there about how to be aware of and how to manage your ego and ambition. And I think ego and ambition, that's what overtakes and it blinds us because it consumes. It's all consuming. And here's the thing. I think this is the most important thing that we need to be measuring, because I know some brilliant people. I know some people who are highly emotionally intelligent. They are great with people, but as soon as the ego takes over, like, they'll make the dumbest decisions ever. They're. They're just, like, you know, destroying things around them and people around them.

Yeah.

And. But the ego. Yeah, it took over. So I'm in the process now of creating little assessments and to a point where, you know, I would love. I want to call it the egq. Your ego, emotional intelligence, like, or, you know, quotient. So, you know, I think we. I think that's a big deal, and.

It really is a big deal. I mean, you think about it, you know. You know, I've always. I've said this a thousand times on the show before, but I learned a long time ago that one of the greatest failures or greatest struggles ever had in building a business was not building myself, not realizing that my words, my emotions, my actions.

Are, you know, took a toll on people in a positive or negative direction. Also, it took me a long time to realize that my intentions, I might judge myself my intentions, but people judge me by my actions. You know, as you go through that, which then took me to a whole nother level, which is, you know, we have this concept of maturity. To me, mature leaders are ones that do take considerations of the team. They are People who are going to take the hit first. So, you know, one of the things, one of the telltale signs I see with great leaders is when there's an opportunity to take the credit, they give it away. When there's an opportunity to give away the blame, they take the blame. Yeah, you know, they're. They're the opposite. They're. They. They look at life in an opposite direction. And it took me quite a bit of time myself to get to that stage in my own career. I also find that, you know, age is no respecter of maturity, that people that work for me, like, you know, 56, you know, they're 50, 60 years old in many cases. And because they were never trained, they were never taught the process behind caring and seeing people for the value of individuals. You know, one of the things that we've tried really hard to do with my organization specifically is try to always speak to four great human needs to be seen, valued, heard, and appreciated. And if you do those on a consistent basis, I'm a big believer that in the course of 12 months, that's going to level up your maturity over and over and over again. Which maturity, to me is the opposite of ego.

Mm.

Mm. Right. Yeah, it's that selfishness versus selfless place.

Yeah.

I'm saying to be true, we'll say again. So do you find the same to be true?

Yeah, yeah, I do, I do. And I think, like I said, dream wide. I mean, it's. This is ancient wisdom. This is stuff that, you know, can be traced clear back to, you know, there's scriptures on it, you know, that if you prefer others before yourself. And again, this isn't like a super spiritual discipline that only a few saints can accomplish. This is. This is actually like a secret. Like in it. It shouldn't be a secret, but it kind of is because our ego kind of took over. But you're right, you know, and I think within, you know, I'm trying to help us too, to see that we're. When we've learned this last year in 2020, how interconnected we are with each other, with other park people, in other parts of the world, with. With nature. And I think that we're so good sometimes what you just described as building a healthy culture and a leader who does that, if we would now take some of those principles and out to our culture, meaning, like the world around us, our community. You know, I see some people who are great within their business, but then they get out of it and blame all of a sudden comes back. It's like they're not doing it right. We blame, we play. A lot of the problems that we have in society will come right back to our ego.

We need to dream a little bit wider for not just our company where we're accomplishing, but like the foundations that are holding us up. That's why I keep saying these foundations. Just like any building you would build, the taller or bigger you want to go, the wider you have to. Right. I mean, that's just a simple thing. But yeah, I think that, you know, we learned. I haven't thought about truck drivers. I haven't thought about grocery stockers. I haven't thought about some of the essential workers until this last year. And I heard so many CEOs talking about how important people like the janitors are right now to clean and make environments where it's not spreading and all this stuff. And I think that's neat. I think it really took the spotlight off of.

A lot of those things that we idolize in our culture and put it back on the foundations. And I hope we don't lose it because we're going to build these tall towers that are just tipping over way too easy.

Yeah.

And they're. And they're built to. A lot of times it's just to caress the ego, you know. You know, living here in the South, I love seeing these tall pillars that have a statue on top. You can't even see the statue. Who is this person? You know, and it's usually a guy and you can see like, wow, it's probably incredible artistic work, but I would never know that. The point wasn't to, you know, highlight the artist. The point was the ego of the person who's propped up on that pillar. But it's pointless. It's. It's, you know, and I think that we do that a lot of times when, you know, our ego gets in front, our ambition gets ahead of us and it'll ultimately compromise.

Yeah. I find that some of the greatest thought leadership which you're sharing today comes from a origin story. There's something that's the catalyst of the, of the self discovery or the discovery of these things. How did you even, how did you even come up with the concept Dream wide? I mean, what. That came from somewhere, like, why is it. Why does it resonate with your soul so much?

Man, that's really good. You know, I spent 20 years in professional, like staff on churches and ministries, you know, spiritual advisor, a pastor. And, you know, we really mirrored culture a lot and went big, man. Like, bigger is Better just go big. And you know, I saw these things that I'm talking about, so this is part of it. There's more backstory. Probably even back to growing up poor and living in a single wide trailer. But yet being so happy, it wasn't about, you know, and you know, I didn't even know what a single, I didn't call it single wide trailer. I called it home, you know.

But you know, I go through, I go through life and I just start seeing these inconsistencies that big is not better. Something, something's. Something's missing and, and the neglect that we would have towards the culture and the community and society around us. You know, I was a part of some big churches and, and before I went on staff at this church in California, I was a teacher in a low income Azusa, California, man, like, oof. That was like an education. Teaching middle school kids who, whose homes are broken up and you know, they're being raised by a grandma, you know, there I had middle school students come up to me in my face and tell me off, you know, and I'm 6, 4, 200 something pounds and they had no fear. They were just like, yeah, call my parents and see how that goes, you know, and yeah, yeah, ye. And you know, there was just so much poverty and I had, I saw these needs and then I get hired on at the church and I lost complete touch with the community. And yet we say we're changing the world, but man, we were a tight bubble and the community around us didn't even know who we were, you know, unless, unless you happen to go there. But I just started seeing a disconnect and you know, I had the opportunity in 2009 we.

I hit this wall in ministry where it was an Easter and the pastor got up and he said, hey, let's be thinking of someone that we know of, that we want to invite, that isn't part of the church. And I sat there and I was like, I don't know anyone, I don't know anybody outside of this bubble right now. And I literally broke down like, this is not okay. This is not what I'm here for. I'm just keeping a machine running and it's a big machine and we got to feed it. And I resigned and we went right to downtown LA and started.

A church. But it was like we started with a wide foundation. Before we ever had our first service, we had already found out what we're going to do in the community. This is our main priority. And it was moving homeless into permanent housing. There was a huge thing happening in Los Angeles with coordinating and working together between all these different municipalities and government. And we filled a gap there. And it eventually became a nonprofit that's still running to this day. And we move homeless veterans, families, and people into permanent housing with. We throw welcome home parties. We. Because a lot of times I get a voucher for an apartment, and it's completely empty. And so we collect, and we work with other churches and businesses to collect welcome home kits and move them in. So part of that, I think, informed. It was seeing that. Yeah. That sometimes, like I said before, as we laser focus on the big, we lose sight of the peripheral vision. And I'm saying, look, the secret right now is let's take those things on our peripheral vision, like others, like people, like community, like employees or. And move those back to the center. And I'm telling you, your business, your life will thrive. And you just keep thinking. And I just keep thinking, no, I just need to hit this goal. If we just accomplish this. And I'm saying, no, like, this is a secret. Move the peripheral things back to the center and watch what happens.

Yeah. I mean, the only time the income is fulfilling is when it's preceded by impact. That's been my. I mean, seriously, that's been my. What I've discovered.

And, you know, you mentioned just a few minutes ago about Bill and Melinda Gates. Like, how shocking. Like, isn't it interesting how much he's worth? And yet it still didn't buy happiness. Like, you know, they're still gonna have. They're gonna separate. Like, yeah, you're right. It's just. And it's the law of diminishing returns. Right. Like, there's a certain point at which you have enough money, and. But then more won't make you more happy. Like, so now what? And it's not that much. It's not 10 million. I think that there's been some research that it might be around, like, 600,000 or something. Like, okay, like, you have everything you need. You could buy whatever you want. You could go on trips, do whatever. At that point, anything you make on top of that is actually, you know, overflow. No money, no problem.

And that's absolutely true. You know, literally, I. You know. You know, one of the things that resonates with your story and your background, everywhere you've been, is obviously the heart to serve the homeless. I started there myself. I grew up in an environment, and in that, you know, like you mentioned with Azusa, I grew up in a dysfunctional environment, raised my grandmother for a while. Grandmother passed away, started a whole nother chain of events of. Of things that actually I would not, you know, I wouldn't go back and change any of it. It's taught me so much. But, you know, there were definite parts throughout the journey that in the moment I would want. I would have wanted to change. Like I make the pain go away or make the pain, you know, stop kind of thing. And as we're going through this entire.

We'Ll call it cultivation of skills. Right? Yeah, that's where you learn those skills. You know, when I was homeless, you know, for me, I knew that I was homeless, meaning I knew that my life had gotten to a point where I'd almost. I'd honestly given up all hope. Like, it was like, what's the point? Can't get any lower than this. I've failed I don't know how many times, doing whatever. And, you know, this is where I'm at. So I'm curious because my instinct, my spirit, so to speak, says that dream wide came out of watching you probably, and you and many of your team teach other people who had nothing how to dream. Why, and watch them get established.

Hmm. Man, that's interesting. Yeah, you know, it's your story. And their stories taught me more than I taught them. And I say that with like 100% conviction. Like, you know, I would.

Show up in Compton and we would move this family in and, you know, and they're seeing the joy in their face and seeing them tear up, you know, them asking to, like, do a huddle. You know, one of the. One of the move ins we did a guy named Earl. He was one of our first ones. And when we got done, I thought that I was going to ask him, like, hey, is there anything else you need? And I thought that he was maybe going to ask for money. And so I was a little hesitant to even ask it. And so I went up and I said, hey, man, is there anything else you need? And he said, do you know how to play chess? And I. And I was like, I had to, like, compose myself. I'm like, whoa. Like, here. He taught me, man, he wanted community. He wanted to sit down and play a game of chess. And, you know, and I think. I think that, yeah, there was, like, you said, man, I would. I would give up, you know, six figure income to be involved in things like that, because there's nothing better, but you don't have to give it up. I'm just saying, you know, like, yeah.

But you can, you may not have to give it up, but you can definitely add it to your life.

Yes.

There wasn't a, I was talking to. He's, I wouldn't, I wouldn't call him a close friend, an acquaintance of mine, just a man that I deeply respect, guy by the name of Sean Bowles. He's out in LA or California area, and he was doing a presentation somewhere. And the presentation centered around the Christian faith specifically. And the number one reason why the Christian faith had been retracting for a number of years was ironically, because of Christians. I mean, seriously, that was the number one survey response. The second understanding that came out of that was the simple fact that there's enough wealth right now in those that would call themselves Christians, whether or not they're, you know, incredibly following Jesus or if they're, you know, totally not following Jesus, but they're calling themselves a Christian. Right? On both ends of the spectrum. There's enough wealth within that window to solve hunger world's hunger, to solve world homelessness. So the reason I bring that up is because I love your work so much because of what it stands for. That is that essence of trying to stand in the gap. And the other reason that I think it's so important is because at some point in time there has to be outspoken, mission driven messengers that can bring this stuff to the marketplace and say, guys, your focus is off. You don't understand. You can't take any of this crap with you. There's no legacy here. The only legacy outlives you is if a life has changed.

That's so good. That is so good. And here's the thing, here's my challenge. Most people will start to think immediately about philanthropy. Like, well, no, we give some money here and there, or like churches, it's like, well, we have an outreach pastor. And that's not what I'm talking about. Like, like you said, it's like this is a, this is a, a major cultural shift. That sounds so subtle, like, hey, let's sound simple. But it's not, it's not at all. And it's, and, and, and implementing it can be complicated, but it really shouldn't be, you know, but, but, you know, that's why I created this framework that I would take further if we had more time where, you know, we can actually implement this in a way that sets our culture up to succeed in a way we've never imagined before. That is prioritizing others that just switch. It changes the whole game, you know, and we talk about, you know, Even being an employee, being in the position of an employee and feeling the pressure that sometimes upper management wants to put on people to say, to get them to produce. You know, like, I love that we called one of them the BHAG goal. Have you heard of BHAG goal?

Yeah.

Big hair, yardageous goal. Well, it's gross. It sounds gross, first of all, but it's also gross in a way that's like, okay, we see people as, like, this commodity or employees, and to get them to produce more, we need to put more pressure on. And when I was on upper management, I remember being told, just put the cheese higher on the shelf and let's see who goes and gets it. So we create these competitive cutthroat, and it's all based on the understanding of how we think we got here. We think that it was survival of the fittest cutthroat. You know, kill or be killed. Let's see who rises to the top. And I've been on staff at churches where I looked around in a meeting, and I felt like I was on an episode of Survivor. Like, people were looking at you. No one's talking. We're all sizing each other up. I'm like, where am I right now? So we might get a little bit extra production out of someone. Until, though. Until, like, you have employees whose marriages are falling apart and who have nervous mental breakdowns, until you have a cutthroat culture environment where no one's working together and all these things, it's actually backfiring. And that's why I keep saying this isn't just philanthropy. Like, we have to shift. We have to shift it, you know?

Yeah. I mean, I think the statement that comes to my mind right now is people aren't commodities or capital.

Yeah.

But that capital is only as good as your next investment. So if you're investing in them, they will continue to invest in you, the business entity, church, whatever. And if you're not, it erases it. People want to go where they're going to be, where they're going to feel seen, value, heard and appreciated.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And exactly. And, you know, if we take that broader and further. I mean, one of the phrases that I have that I just love, it just means a lot to me, is that we are all shareholders of each other.

Yeah.

And that isn't just a cute, you know, hippie phrase. People make fun of things like that. But no, I'm talking, like, to the core. If you don't understand that, like, you. You are going to create A cycle that is going to either burn out or fall over. Because if you don't see that we're shareholders of each other, that the foundations that you're building your business on, and it involves people, it involves your community and sowing back into it, but also prioritizing it and, you know, creating measurements. You know, we just. The bottom line, we have to change the bottom line. It's not just, how much money did I make this quarter. It's. It's. You know, those things that you were talking about, like, you know, how I'm. How I'm building the employees, how, you know, I. Like your. Was. You don't call them employees.

Yeah, they're all team members.

Team members. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, it's just. There's just a lot of shifts that we have to make. And, you know, like I said, there are some examples out there. You know, I mentioned Patagonia, but there's a lot of others, and I really look forward to that because the truth is, there's even some books right now. They're like. There's one called Survival of the Kindest. You know, a lot of our beliefs of how. Of, you know, Darwinian kind of how we got here, survival of the fittest, are actually not true.

Yeah.

Collaboration, connection and community. The people who knew how to do that were the ones who thrived, the ones who were cutthroat and, like, they isolated themselves. Like, who wants to be around that? And the only people who are gonna be around you that, in that type of. If you're that type of person are people who are following you out of fear, maybe, or out of, like, I have to, you know, I have to do this and, you know, because otherwise something will happen to me. I'll lose my job. It's. It's a. It's a motivation that doesn't actually produce like it does. And when there's community, collaboration and connection. And that's the economy of the future.

Yeah, absolutely. No, I totally agree with that. Let me ask you this. All right, so. Because I think. I think there's. There's several people watching and listening right now that that would say, look, I'm all about this. This is the kind of lifestyle I want to leave or lead. This is the kind of lifestyle that I want to be a part of. I understand the importance of it. I understand the need of it. Let's do our best. If you're cool with it. For next. With a few minutes we've got left, let's. Let's try to break down Dreamwide in a handful of steps that maybe somebody can begin taking action today in their life to at least start them on that journey. If that's cool with you.

Yeah. Oh, man. So good. Yeah. Like, one of the things that I would invite people to do is. And it's. And it's just for them. It's private. It's just for you. But I did create a small assessment that you can take that ask some questions. And the point of it is it only takes two minutes. It's on the website. HelloJessyRoss.com youm'll see it right when you get on there. You can just click it. It takes less than two minutes. The questions, though, are kind of answers in themselves. Like, one of the questions on there is, do you have anything on your calendar right at this moment that involves someone else? It's not just about you. And this was a convicting one for me because I looked on my calendar and it was all my appointments, my things I got to do, my golf time, my this and that. And I didn't have anything on my calendar that was about, hey, my daughter's. I want to do this with my daughter. I want to set this. That you made a calendar date with your wife. Like, that's a simple one step. And then there's some other things that. Yeah. That I would encourage. I have this phrase too, that we need to set goals that serve others. So if you look at your goals right now, are they all even your personal life goals or your goals at work, Are they all just to reach a number? Are they all just to reach.

A milestone? Or can we. Let's throw a goal in there that is something about serving others. Maybe it's someone that you work with, or maybe it's something that you know is a need within your community or a goal that you want to within your family. Again, prioritizing the things that matter that we have overlooked, Prioritizing the things that we have shoved to the side in our peripheral vision.

And then I also have this. There's four simple steps.

Start beginning to challenge yourself to think others first. That's a really hard thing to do. It's so good for the ego. It puts ego and ambition in its rightful place.

Because a lot of us, I think we. We have to rope it back a little bit. We've been. Our culture in our society right now is telling us, like, man, let ego and ambition run wild. And it's a good thing. Like, and that's why I asked you earlier if there's any assessment Things out there that measure ego inhibition. I think the reason why there's not is because it's, it's seen as an advantage. Like, yeah, we don't want to, we don't want to manage it and that.

Or no one wants to know the answer.

Yeah, yeah, it's like, hey, it seems to serve me well because I accomplish thing. And I, and I, and I always say that, like, there's a lot of. There's a basement full of bones. You know, when you, when you're just going after the bottom line, you got. You're crushing people and you're crushing, you know, community all around you. So think others first. Refocus priorities, relationships, your own personal health, physical and mental. Like, like you said, you got to build yourself. The third one is break the obsession with fame and money and focus on bringing value. That again, is just reprioritizing. It's not just about money. It's about value.

I think that's why a lot of companies right now, customer service is so poor. We love selling to crowds. We just love it when people set it up, make it automatic. They're like a bunch of minions. Like, they'll pay, but don't bother me. Just bring. Just. Just send me your money. And that in the end will backfire. You're not, you're not thinking about your customers. You're not thinking about their needs, you're not valuing them, you're not following up. You know, like, again, starting to dream wide. Like, yeah, you know, the last one is to start collaborating, start connecting. And I would say this because I was out of the church world. Churches are the worst at this. Like, we.

Think, like, I have my programs and I have my machine. I gotta feed and I'm. Churches. Most churches are only involved with people in their community to the extent that they are involved with them. So, yeah, if you get behind this program or if you want to do this, but if you're not, like, I don't see a lot of churches divest their time, energy, money and privilege and like you said, you know, like money for things and just go and serve someone that doesn't somehow feed back to their machine. And that's sad. Like, you know, that's. We have to change that culture. So collaborating and partnering and standing in the gaps, you know, with people outside of our circles, you know, is really, really important.

Well, I think, and I think those are all great steps. I think it's, you know, it's, you know, one of the things that kept me out of a church building For a long time is when I launched my first book. I was going to a sizable church, had a really good following. People wise.

Won'T bring up the name of the church obviously for obvious reasons, but one of the very, one of the first things that happened, we were having a men's movement or men's, you know, thing in the morning and someone had overheard me on a radio station the night before being interviewed about my first book. The pastor at the time looked over is like, well, who's this guy? And then went to introduce himself to me and stuff later on and wanted to meet about how do you make a book? And all kinds of stuff. And it just got weird really fast because it got one of the situations where it was almost like he was intimidated by the fact he had someone like that in his church.

He.

One of the things that was really heartbreaking in this specific example is that I had been at his church for over a year before he even knew I existed, right. And then to going back to the self serving side of things, you know, if you, this is where that, that whole mentality of that stat that I gave you earlier that the greatest problem with Christianity as a whole historically has been fellow quote unquote Christians, right? You know, you got the most broken people on the planet trying to learn a better way and then, you know, taking their own self righteousness and casting on others, right? So I am, I am a follower of Jesus myself, right. I love that guy. He's my guy, right? You know, he showed up when nobody else did in my life kind of scenario and got me where I'm at today, hands down, bar none. No. But at the same time, you know, to your point, you know, if I, if, if my organization makes a million dollars, I'm just throwing a round number out there makes a million dollars. We measure success by lives changed. So that million dollars goes back into serving other people, right? It's not, it's. That's the only way to really scale out a legacy in many cases. And I think that's why dreamwide is so important because it is a different way of thinking and it takes time and practice. But once you operate it, operate in it, you get to operate in the sweetness of it.

Yeah, absolutely.

There's nothing like having someone come to you 10 years later that you knew was broken and messed up and you just, you took 30 minutes and you just sat with them and you gave them a hug that they hadn't had. And you have no idea how much that actually touches a life, only to find out five or 10 years, that person comes up and they got their family with them for, you know, their new family or whatever. Like, and they, like, because of you and I, you know, I was fortunate enough to be able to tell many of my mentors along the way. It's like, because of you. Yeah. Like, you take the Steve Myricks and the Susan Batts is in the key people in my life, they never got to see what their CD produced.

Yeah, fully.

And hopefully I'm not done with it yet.

Hopefully.

Hopefully I got a lot more ground to cover, but. Absolutely, you know, and I think that's why dreamwide is so important. This dreamwide concept, this dreamwide heart, this dreamwide mentality. I think to your point earlier, it's existed for a very long time, but so many people, I think, are fearful of taking ownership of it because of what's. What's the old acronym for it, but it's the fear of missing out, not realizing that every message that you're bombarded with on a daily basis is like, get it now, take care of it later. Get it now, take care of it later. And it's the polar opposite of how to become successful.

Yeah, exactly. It's polar opposite. And it's hard. And you know what's interesting, man? Like, you just said it, like, here's the truth.

The.

The future is wide and wide is the future. And the next generation, they get it and they're looking for it and hungry for it, dude. Really hungry for it. This idea of, you know, a macho patriarch, like kind of just barking orders and fall in line or get crushed and, you know. Yeah. Just kind of running, you know, letting ego and ambition just run wild and not really caring what happens around the peripheral. They sniff it out. They sniff it out immediately. And, you know, like you said, like, my hope is that we can create a context for the next generation to the point of even, like, you know, we come up with business plans. There's nothing in business plans, in my opinion, that are why they all start with, you know, hey, how's this going to get you to this? Right? And there's. We could start there. Like, you know, before I start something, I want to start looking at how is this, how wide is this? How am I prioritizing, you know, my local community? Then it goes on beyond that, so those things matter. And again, the connection economy, not the networking economy, where you're just trying to meet the right person so that you can get something. I'm talking about the connection economy, collaboration.

You know, working Together seeing your outcomes, being something that are very important to the world around you and the people in your world and yourself, like. Yeah. So, yeah, I hope that we've evolved.

Hey, you know what? These conversations are going to force us to. So, man, dude, I really appreciate you coming on the show today and speaking your heart and then giving people opportunity to kind of, you know, even take a. Take a step forward themselves. How can people stay in connection with you and learn more about what you're doing?

Yeah, man. I just want to say to you, man, like, your. Your story, Steven, is so inspiring, and you're. Yeah. So, you know, I've been telling a lot of my friends to listen. You did a podcast somewhere, and maybe you have one, too, where you just tell your story and maybe. I mean, your story was so inspiring. And so I love what you're doing. And, yeah, like, the fruit of all those. The investment of people that in your life hasn't completely paid off yet. For sure. I can see it, man.

So I'll take that as a prophetic word.

Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. You know, hello. Jesse Ross is like the social media handle, and I'm, you know, I'm still building, you know, a personal brand and such. I mean, it's part of the. It's part of the thing, you know, just to get moving. But I'm just really passionate about being authentic and real and, you know, so you'll see that when you see social media stuff, you'll see other passions pop up. But the website is hellojesseross.com I have Dreamwide now being built, and I am writing a book called Dreamwide. And so I'm excited that that's coming in the future. But, you know, I love that I'm getting to work it out as I go. You know, it's the best way to write a book, in my opinion, is, you know, not only from the past experience, but from present experience and watching it come to life. So, yeah, I mean, I'd love to connect with anyone that has the time and energy and passion for it. Let's do it.

Exciting stuff, man. Exciting stuff. And then. And I have a feeling you're just getting started as well, man. So, again, I appreciate what you're doing, especially for the homeless community, especially for teaching people a better way.

Yeah. And I'll tell you, like, gobethe1.com is the. Is the nonprofit G O B E T H E. And it's just the number one. So. GoBeTheOne.com that's awesome, dude.

I can't thank you enough, man. I can't wait to do it again.

I can't either. I felt this is just the beginning and I am starting a dream wide podcast and I'm getting you on there, man.

Let's go, man.

Let's go.

Let's change some lives. I'm ready.

Let's do it. Let's do it, man. Keep up the good work and thank you so much.

Awesome, dude. Well, thank you so much. We'll talk to you soon.

Okay, take care, man.

I love amazing human beings like Jesse Ross. If you really loved his content, you're really going to love this next interview right here. So check it out.

So for me, I believe in fear. Less breaking the word in half and allowing fear to have less control over my next assignment, my next move. Because I know who's counting on me on the other side of what my fear is.