Toxic Relationships, Feeling Like A Fraud, Losing Everything | Life-Mastery Q&A

Do I have to lose everything in my life to turn my life around? Golly, I hope not, right? All because I've started there and some other people have started there does not mean you have to start there. In fact, what it means is as you have the opportunity to start a lot further ahead than we did. So what I recommend is making sure you start right now, putting the principles to work for you to help keep you on forward progress, forward momentum. Right? You can decide right now. Call to transformation. We have seven steps of life mastery. Entire whiteboard lesson on that. The first step in that process is accepting the call to transformation. Alright? So I'm issuing that call right now. Are you ready to transform every area of your life so you don't have to lose everything and start at the lowest of the lows? Okay. It really comes down to how stubborn you want to be, right? The more stubborn you are, the more the higher likelihood you are of having to go backwards and backwards and backwards to come forward. I'm trying to encourage you right now to decide to put these principles to work for you. Use all the other content on the YouTube channel, face to Face. Our Face to Face stuff, our whiteboard lessons, our podcast, all of those things are designed to help you not have to go that far back and help you start from where you are today so we can take you to where you want to go. So no, you do not have to lose everything to get going. Instead, you just need to get started.

Should I become a master of one thing or become a jack of all trades? Okay, here's the thing. As I was growing up, because of my, well, ADHD ness, let's call it that, dyslexia and a few things, I would actually try lots of different things just to figure out what I was actually really excited about. Excuse me. So it depends on what stage of life you're currently in, right? Are you already in your mid-20s or heading towards your 30s or your 40s or your 50s, or are you still like a teenager or coming up through high school or middle school right now? If you're coming up through high school and middle school right now, or even the early days of college, I'd say like the first year of college, then I think it's okay to experiment a little bit to discover what you're really, really, really passionate about, right? Because if you start going after things that you're not passionate about, inevitably what will happen is you'll become stuck. You start feeling more and more frustrated, more and more overwhelmed, and more and more like your Life is not actually having any real meaning. So phase one of life? Yes, I think you should experiment a little bit to figure out, hey, look, do I like working with my hands? You know, am I more of a critical thinker? Right? Am I more of an analysis guy? Maybe someone who gets into accounting and things of that nature? Engineer brain, right? The only way you're going to discover that is to test out a few things, right? I actually had a young man recently that for the first time started singing. And his voice is incredible, but yet he never knew he actually had the talent. So I personally think phase one of life, that you actually, you should actually experiment. Now, by the time you get to your first year in college, you should have kind of had an idea of kind of the things that you enjoy, right? Do you enjoy music, do you enjoy construction, do you enjoy reading, do you enjoy writing? All those types of things are ways in which to illustrate what you should kind of focus on. So when phase one is over, phase two starts becoming really, how can I laser point? Where does I want to go? How I can make my impact? What am I passionate about? And how can I actually get that going and get started? Okay, phase one, yes. Experiment. And I mean experiment healthily. I don't mean that word loosely at all, right? I mean, like, try a bunch of different things like music, construction, things of that nature to find out what you kind of are down with, so to speak, or. Right? Phase two is start to begin to really become highly focused on where it is you want to go, with no more than three potential lanes to focus on. All right? That's how I'd answer that question. Hope you take a. Hope you take the next step and we'll see you in the next one.

This one's a tricky question because it tells me a little bit about where you're at in your life right now. Okay? And the question for today is, or this next question is, is how do I stop feeling like a fraud? Alright, here's a secret about the imposter syndrome. First of all, you're not giving yourself enough credit for the work that you put in or the effort or the things that you're really good at, your actual strengths, personally, okay? And you're also not giving yourself credit for the awareness of it takes time to develop mastery, right? If you go back to the whiteboard lesson where we teach you the seven steps of life mastery, the seven levels of life mastery, you will find that, first of all, you have to accept the call. Second of all, you got to start getting your Awareness together, okay? And third of all, there's a learning phase, okay? You cannot judge your end or your, I'm sorry, your start by someone else's middle or end. A lot of times I have a lot of people come up to me at the end of our seminars and things of that nature and they'll say, hey, I'm just curious, how do I get where you're at right now? Well, it's the same thing I did. You got to put in the work, right? And you can't get frustrated with yourself along the way. Right? You've got wonderful talents, wonderful skills, wonderful opportunities directly in front of you, okay? And you cannot let negative beliefs, limiting beliefs or things of that nature actually steal that joy and steal that progress from you. Because if you do, then the progress you've made will become stagnant. And I don't want you stagnant. I want you moving forward. I want you to have the life that you, that you've always dreamed of and doing things that you've never thought possible, right? And all you have to do to do that is to keep moving forward. So if you want to avoid feeling like a fraud, focus on the effort. Why? Because if as long as you're constantly living a life of comparison, you will always feel like you're not measuring up. And the reality is, as long as you're making an effort and as long as you're making progress, not only are you getting the reward, but your long term reward is simply going to be incredible. So just keep going.

How do I know if I'm in a toxic relationship? As one person who actually was in a lot of toxic relationships, one, I want to tell you that I sympathize with you. The person asked this question, okay? Two, I want to give you some techniques of ways in which I began to identify what toxic relationship look like, okay? The first of which was the amount of depletion or empowerment you receive. So on a scale of 1 to 10, just grab a pen and paper, look at that relationship and say on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being pin, 10 being, they add a lot of value. One being, to add absolutely no value, go ahead and jot down the number, okay? And if you're jotting down a number and it's below 7, there's a good chance you're in. It's. There's a good chance there's symptoms of a toxic relationship, okay? Your relationship should always be adding just as much value as you're adding to it yourself, okay? So make, use that as A tool. The other thing. Excuse me. On a scale of 1 to 10, how much control is the other person applying? Are they telling you when to go someplace, where to go, how to go, who to talk to, who not to talk to? Are they applying elements of control? Scale of 1 to 10? 10 being no, they're not. 10 being My relationship is amazing. 1 being hey look, the relationship is not doing so well and they are trying to control me. Use 10 as being your healthy and 1 as being your unhealthy. Okay? How much control is that person applying your relationship and determine whether or not that is something that's healthy for you. Again, I always lean towards seven and below as meaning. Hey look, there's symptoms that we need to have some relationship boundaries put in place. Okay, so that's another one. Number two, how often is a relationship exhibiting symptoms of lying and deception? Right. The most toxic relationships I know of are historically ones that end up with someone else being partnered with somebody who's constantly being unfaithful on a regular basis. Okay, great. Relationships are mutually healthy, mutually respectful, and they actually have a symbolic nature of where Everybody's putting in 110% on a regular basis to grow the relationship. Alright, the final one. Okay. Making sure that you're not getting trapped in the deception mode. Constant giving or taking. Okay. Do you feel like you're the only one giving in that relationship on a regular basis? Do you feel like the person that you're actually hanging out with or you're with is constantly taking on a regular basis? Like you're, you're just giving, giving, giving and they're just like, ah, give it, take, give me more, give me more, give me more. If that's the case, then there's a great chance that that is a symptom of a toxic relationship. Okay, so let's hit those one more time. How often do you feel depleted or empowered? How often are they exhibiting episodes of absolute control or non control? How often are you exhibiting lies and deception? And how often are you over giving or is that person taking? Alright, if you use those four things, you can probably do a scale of one to ten. Ten meaning relationships. Great. One meaning relationship's not so great and probably get to the bottom pretty quickly on whether or not you're in a toxic relationship.

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