UFC FIGHTER REVEALS How To Overcome Pain To ACHIEVE GREATNESS! | Eliot Marshall

And it's why I'm such a great advocate for just sports in general. No one is good at the beginning. No one has to work. You lose first, and then you win.

I want to jump right in because your story is really, really powerful. One of the things I love most about it is you're now using that to position yourself to help the most people, which is, you know, there's a lot of people out there. They're doing it for fame and fortune, stuff like that. And you're not one of those people. In fact, I think you've been combating fear and anxiety for a long time. What is the number one thing that you've discovered in beating fear and anxiety?

You can't beat it. There's no beating it. Right. You just have to be like, oh, okay, homie. Like, you've got to be your best friend. You're here with me today. Okay, but watch this. It won't stop me from doing what I'm doing today. I'm scared. I'm afraid. I'm having anxiety. But I will still walk into the arena of my life.

Yeah.

And I will do it. And you're gonna see that you can't conquer me.

Yeah.

Now you'll roll right along with me.

Yes. I mean, did you. So one of the. My best. One of my favorite stories in the Gospel of Fire, specifically, and actually studying your TEDx talk and everything, which was phenomenal, by the way.

Thank you.

Was this essence of coming back after you kind of. You kind of defeated yourself. Like, how did you discover that process? What was that process like for you? Because I feel like a lot of people will. You kind of get lost in their, you know, their own defeat sometimes and have a hard time shaking out of it. How'd you do it?

So I guess it goes to my heritage a little bit in my family. Right. Like, I'm a. I'm a. I'm a half black Jew, you know.

And so, you know, and if you. If you date back my age, my dad went. Went through civil rights, you know, the civil rights movement, and, you know, nothing to do with age. But my grandparents survived the Holocaust. Concentration camp survivors. Right.

Yeah.

So their struggle was greater than mine. So if they were able to forge through, how could I not?

Yeah.

First of all. Right. Yeah. So I would lean on them a lot. And then. Two, Man. You know, it was a real poignant day. And I think I tell the story in the book right. Where I was in the middle of this struggle. You know, I wasn't.

Doing my day Regardless.

And I had not slept. It was the second night in a row that I hadn't slept. And I came upstairs from the basement because that's where I used to go run and cry and hide and call my friends, whatever it was, you know, all through the night. And I would run and I came up and my wife could see that there was something not okay. And I don't even know if she meant this. Maybe she was sick of it. Who even knows? But it doesn't matter, right?

Yeah.

She goes, yo, why don't you just do your day as if you slept? Like, just for one day, do me a favor, pretend like you slept. And that got me through a couple hours. I was like, okay, I'm gonna pretend like I slept. And then, you know, 4 o' clock was coming. It was 4 o', clock, and I was getting ready to have to go teach one of my lessons. And I was in this actual office where I am right now. And my. One of my best friends, who was staying up with me all the night at the time, he said to me, he's like, I'm going to go get you a cup of coffee. Because he knew all the struggle that I was having. And I was like, yo, bro, I can't drink that coffee. And he was like, what do you mean? I was like, if I drink that coffee right now, I'm not going to sleep tonight. And that was my whole thing. Like, I couldn't sleep and it would give me all this anxiety that I would be up, you know? And he goes, elliot, you already didn't sleep, bro. So it's not the coffee. So you're gonna drink the coffee. The coffee is gonna make you feel better right now. And at 11 o' clock tonight, when you're not sleeping, when you're scared and all of that, okay, I'll be there on the phone with you to help calm you down.

Yeah.

Yeah. So I drank the coffee. He sat in the office and watched me drink it, but he knows I would pour it out.

Drink it? Yeah, make me drink the coffee, you know? So I go out there, I teach my stuff, and I go all night, and then I go home and 10:45, I don't know, whatever time comes around, and I call him, I start to freak out. He goes, look, this is what you're gonna do. You're gonna take your sleeping pills. Because I was taking sleeping pills at this time to try to help me. And they would work sometimes. And then I want you to turn the TV on and I want you to Stay awake all night.

He was like. I was like, what? He goes, yes, stay awake all night. The plan, tonight's plan is to stay awake in 45 minutes, if you are still awake in 45 minutes, when you're still awake, call me.

Was he trying to, like, just get you back in your. Like to reset your circadian rhythm?

Have you ever tried. Have you ever tried. Have you ever tried to stay awake when you're tired?

Yeah, you just follow. You try to fall asleep. It, like, does the opposite to your brain. Right.

So that's exactly what happens.

Look at there.

I thought I fell asleep.

Yeah.

So that. That right there, those two things pretend like you slept and stay awake.

Mm.

That showed me the lesson of, you got to go into it. You can't run away from it.

Yeah.

But you're not. You. The. It's actually your friend. It's actually here to help you. It's actually here for you. So let's go. So this. This must be true everywhere.

Yeah.

Go in. Go into it. If you. You know, and then it doesn't fuck with you that much.

Well, you know, I'm always telling people that obstacles are. We see them as, like, the very thing that's got our foot, like, chained to the floor. And, like, you know, how the obstacle itself. It's like the obstacle itself gives us the excuse that we want to give ourselves so we don't have to put in the work.

Right.

Not realizing, to me, at least in my experience, obstacles are actually my friend. They're actually there to, like, sharpen iron kind of stuff. How has obstacles, like, played a role in your life?

So I have it tattooed right here in my forum. It's the Marcus. You can't read it. It's in Greek. Unless you. It's the Marcus Aurelius quote. The impediment of action advances. Action which stands in the way becomes the way. So the obstacle is the way. And, you know, I'm always trying to gain new knowledge and do things more skillfully, and I was listening to Tim Grover's first book, Relentless, and he just. And as. As I was driving down, right as I was parking, it goes, your privilege is your prison. Because what we all. We all think we want privilege.

Yeah.

You know, but your privilege is your prison.

Yeah.

If you can see it that way. Everything that's given to you is what's actually there to make your life harder. All of your obstacles, they're there for you because that is what will make you grow. That is what will put pressure on you, and that is what will allow you to become amazing and find your power in the world?

Yeah, it's funny you mentioned that. You know, I was just having a conversation with, well, really the Instagram nation when I'm doing, you know, the little stories or whatever. But it was spurred by a conversation with my son. Okay. My youngest son is, you know, he's like six foot something, I'm five foot nothing. Which is just weird to see us on camera together. But, you know, but he's been going through this, this interesting times. Like I'm trying to figure out what I want to do with my life, what do I want to do, what I want to do. I'm like, you don't have to figure that out right now. You just need to take action. Take action right now and things are going to happen. He goes, well, you know, I want the lifestyle that you and mom have. I'm like, well, you have to, you have to follow the journey that I've got. And unfortunately, normally when things come your way, you're like, you, you tell me why I don't, I didn't grow up like you grew up. You know, the, the hardships and the things that actually made me who I am. And I'm like, yeah. And I think that's holding you back because it's not teaching you the greediness and tenacity that's needed to actually level up. I said, if you want to be where I'm at, you got to do what I do. You got to go to work when you don't want to. Right. You got, you've got to take care of your family. When you don't feel like you want to, you gotta, you've gotta go and shake somebody's hands, even if you don't like them or you know what I'm saying? You got, you gotta like, get over yourself. Do you find that's the same truth?

So, man, it's so hard too, right? Because, like, for example, my wife and I are. She's a little mad at me right now because, you know, we went to Steamboat over the weekend and look, my kids have to cut the grass.

Yeah.

And that's the rules. And they didn't cut the grass. And look, it's just so happened, you know, they didn't cut the grass that weekend. The Steamboat thing was a last minute thing. And boom. Right? And then my youngest, it was his turn to cut the grass in the back is seven. And you know, he's gonna be eight in two weeks, a week and a half. But look, my kids cut the grass, man. My kids cut the grass and my kids do the dishes and they get mad at me for it. So anyway.

He got car sick on the way home. So my, you know, my oldest cut the front yard because that was his responsibility this week. And I'm not like, he's sick. I'm not gonna go make him cut the grass. Right. But he's got lacrosse camp this week.

Mm.

You know, so I was like, look, homie, I get it. You're gonna go to lacrosse all day. But when I get home from work tonight, it's gonna be 8 o', clock, and that grass better be cut.

Yeah.

And if that grass isn't cut, you're not going to lacrosse camp. I don't know what to tell you.

Yeah.

And yes, you're going to be tired, and yes, you're not going to do. Want to do it. And yes, it's a pain in your ass. And yes, your mom's even over there telling you maybe how unfair I'm being.

I'm going to remain silent on that one because my wife watches. Yeah.

And Elliot, give him a break. He's only 8 years old. The world doesn't give anybody a break.

Yeah, it really doesn't.

It really doesn't. It doesn't care. Right. So I don't feel as though cutting the grass when he can totally cut the grass, whether he's tired. And that's the lesson, right? That's the lesson you're just talking about.

Yeah.

It's all the things that you do when you don't want to do them that make the difference. It's not doing it. Everybody. Everybody's good when they want to be good.

Yeah.

It's. Can you be good when you don't. When. When you don't feel like it?

Yeah. I think the magic and the magic trick or the principle or the whatever terminology you want to use is when you feel like you have an excuse, remove it immediately, you know? You know, I didn't go from homelessness to where I'm at today because, you know, I threw in the towel over and over again, you know, And I was talking to another young man that I spent some time mentoring. You know, he's got big aspirations, big dreams. You know, I want to be a billionaire and all this. I'm like, okay, fine, keep your dreams if it helps you, motivate you right now. But just. Just so you know, none of that stuff is going to matter. You're going to. Once you get it, you're going to be like, why did I fight so hard for this, right? There's. There's a meaning thing. But. So that's a separate conversation. But in this particular conversation we're talking and specifically his relationship came up, and he specifically was like, this is more important. I got to do this, this and this. This is business related. Whatever. This, this, and this. I'm like, dude, you got a responsibility as a father, as a husband and a business owner. Guess what? You got to take out the trash. So much so that literally on Saturday morning, I got up, I went to the gym, came back home, opened it, literally turned on the phone, pulled out Instagram. I literally made this clip just for him. I said, you look up to me and you think I have, you know, the lifestyle that you wanted, everything. And I opened up the thing and I said, guess what? I still have to take out the trash kind of thing to help him understand. Like, there's. There's no such thing as. As being able to just live in bliss. Like, to me, you go. You go through adversity to take you to a new level. In that new level, you get enjoyment of that level, and then you go back into adversity all over again. It's a cycle. When you say, I just don't.

I don't know what, I don't know what made it mean?

Yeah.

What does that mean?

Yeah, exactly.

Don't get. I don't get that. Like, what did I make? Like, is that like a money thing?

Yeah.

Is that a status thing? Like, I'm not quite sure what made it means. I hope. I don't know. I hope I don't know what made it means because I have no interest in making it. Yeah, I have interest in making it in the sense of, I'm gonna make this. I'm gonna make this happen. I'm gonna create, like.

And I'm not even really good at it. I don't even, like, like, even your son's question to you, like, what do you do? What do you. What do you want to do? I don't know what I do. I have no clue what I do. Yeah, but I. But I do it.

I don't know.

It's like I was telling both those guys, it was like, the trick is to knock something down, do something, get up out of your bed, go mow the grass with excellence. Go take out the trash with excellence. Go move the lumber with excellence. Go. One of my sons is now editing our snippets for social media and stuff. Like, I said, do it with excellence. Find the best possible clips Showcasing the person that was interviewed to the best of your ability to, you know, for what you feed. I said, you doing that alone is already inspiring people that are following us on social media and everything, you know, there. To your point, I don't think there is such a thing as making it right.

Yeah.

I mean, it's. It's. You're either creating a legacy that outlives you or you're not.

Some. You know, sometimes people say, elliot, I want to be like you. I'm like, homie, be more skillful than me, you know, because if you knew. If you knew the demons and the darkness that's inside of me sometimes, you know, you, like, you would want to be more, and that's okay. I want to be. I'm always struck. It's this weird balance that I play. I'm enough as a human in this very moment, but I want more out of me. I want more skill. You know, I love myself. I greatly love myself, and that's what allows me to love other people.

But I want more. I want more out of me, and I want more out of the people that are close to me, you know, and I want more for people like, you know, we were talking a second ago, you know, like, for example, our kids. Our kids are very privileged.

Yeah.

Right.

Yeah.

I don't believe that that's equally. That's equal through the world.

That's not equal in this country. So I think it's our job to, you know, go out and sprinkle as much luck dust on as many people as possible to try to equalize out the opportunities for people. Not the outcomes, just the opportunities.

Yeah.

You know, and at the same time, if I want. If I were to meet the underprivileged, like, when I'm dealing with an underprivileged person, you know, who has not had the opportunity, you can't tell them that they're underprivileged.

Yeah.

You can't be like, oh, man, you know, you're. You're. You're black. You know, I'm black. You know, my dad's black. Like, you know, so you're black.

Yeah.

Well, I mean, good. Will that do?

Yeah.

Well, good.

You take ownership of that title, you can no longer beat the title. Like, that's a label that you. That you shouldn't put on yourself. You know, again, you and I grew up in very strenuous circumstances and adversity, all kind of. And I want. I don't want my kids to necessarily face everything that I faced, but I do Want them to face enough adversity where it awakens something in them. It awakens that fight in them.

Yes, yes, yes, yes. They need to. They need to see struggle.

Yeah.

You know, and look, this is why I'm such a huge advocate of Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, because it puts the struggle on you. Yeah, okay. It puts the struggle on you. Someone's on you, choking right there, they're beating you up, you know, And I'm not talking about professional fighting. I'm just talking about the martial art that is Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, you know, and that's why I'm such a great advocate for just sports in general. No one is good at the beginning. No one. You have to work. You lose first and then you win. Nobody comes out. Being able to dribble a basketball or catch a football. Right. You have to do, put some time into that, whatever it is. That's the chase of greatness is the most amazing thing. All I've done is fail at it. I've never been. I've never been great. I've never been great. Never in my once did I succeed at world champion. Not one single time. I just. I just failed and failed and failed. And I was lucky enough that I had two great parents. And the experiences came to me, when they came to me that showed me, elliot, you can still go. Yeah, well, that was a lot of luck.

Well, luck and foundation. Right. So I think the foundation is probably what led you to enter into an octagon where you know you're going to be punched and kicked and, and beat on.

Right. When I say the luck, like, my parents were amazing. I had no. I had no.

That makes a big difference.

I had no. We know that. That makes a huge difference.

Yeah, makes a huge difference.

We know that. Drug addicted mother, absent father, most likely at like an 80% clip. You land in jail, drug addicted or poverty. Right. Like, we know this. So to say that that person fell through the cracks because they ended up bad. That's not true. The person who gets out of that fell through the cracks. Yeah, Yeah, I landed right. You know, I started off with. I like to call it the egg lottery. You know, I hit the egg lottery, the egg and sperm, they combined. Boom to there it was.

Yeah.

And my parents were amazing.

Yeah. I mean, I'm looking back at my. In my life, you know, my, my parental struggle was unfortunately very different. My. My parents struggled quite a bit, at least early on. I mean, they turned out to be fantastic grandparents and then later got their stuff together and are great Parents now. But during that initial season.

What you just described would have been my truth and been my life had I not had key mentorship along the way, which is why I'm so passionate about what you do. One of the things that I'm so interested about specifically, is the vulnerability that you now use at your disposal to let people know kind of what those. Some of those inner demons are, because I think we all face a lot of the same ones, so to speak, and kind of the tools that we're now using to kind of work through some of that stuff. Because not every. Not every day is a great day, right? Not every day is. Not every day. We've got it figured out, right? Some days are better than others.

I'm always golden.

Yeah.

You know, I'm always golden unless somebody gets very, very sick or dies that I'm close to. And that's my rule. And the way I do that is. Sorry. Is with that vulnerability that you were just talking about, right? Because. Because I liken it to the movie. To the movie eight Mile. You know the movie eight Mile with Eminem.

Yeah. Yeah.

Like, the whole movie is just about how bad he fucks up, right? Like, yeah. Girl cheats on him, he chokes. Rapping. He vomits on himself. His mom is sleeping with a dude that he went to high school with, and they live in the trailer park. His car doesn't work. Yeah, Right. Like, this is his whole. This is. So he keeps having these rap battles where he chokes and can't do it, you know? But then at the last rap battle, he makes it to the finals against, like, this guy Papa Doc, who's been crucifying him the whole movie. And they flip heads or tails. And normally you want to go second, but Eminem stuff. Eminem ends up going first. Mm. And he just raps about all the stuff that. That is bad. Like, he goes, yeah, homeboy slept with my chick and my mom's this and that. And he just raps about how all of his. All of his weaknesses. And then he hands and goes, papa Doc, what do you got? What you got now?

Yeah. Stunned.

Got. No, he's got nothing.

Yeah, he got nothing. Yeah. He took his ammo away from him.

So what would you like to know? Man, I suffer from anxiety. I have imposter syndrome. I get scared that people will leave me and I'll be all alone and that the Nazis will come back and then take me away. I'm scared. I suffer from all of this. I stay up nights crying sometimes because of my anxiety. And I call my friends and they help me through it. This happens to me. Yeah, right. This happened when I was scared to fight. I. And that stopped me from being able to be the most skillful fighter possible. Yes. Yeah. I wasn't the best. Yeah, go ahead. What's next? What would you like to say to me now? Yeah, so my vulnerability actually empowers me because I just own it. I just know it. I know exactly who I am. You can. Once you know who you are, I like to say you're unfuckable with. Yeah, you can't. You can't fuck with me because I know my demons, too, and I'll tell you them. Go ahead.

Well, because when you get out of that, I mean, when. When you. When you're in that zone where you kind of own your identity in full, the strengths, the struggles, the blind spots, all of that, to me, that actually makes it available for you to work on them, amplify your strengths, work on some of the struggles, maybe get some new friends to cover your blind spots. And like you just mentioned, hey, look, when I'm in this dark place, I go to my friends and they pick up the phone and we talk. You know, for me, it's a pad and a pen and a. You know, sitting on the screen porch or in my. In my closet with, you know, as a person of faith, with my Bibles, you know, just praying like, you know, and just reflecting. And I think by just owning it, like, you know, I'm five foot nothing. I'll never be six foot tall. And it's so funny, when I go and meet people for the first time, sometimes they go like, did you. Did you know you're not very tall? I had no freaking idea.

No way. Really? Yeah.

I mean, it's crazy, dude. You know, that kind of thing, you know, it just. It just goes to show that I'm going to own the fullness of myself. You're going to own the fullness of yourself. And. And I think by doing that, we become living examples that it's okay to own the fullness of yourself and to always be a work in progress.

So I like to think of it, you know, and I kind of developed this thing for myself. Like, I had to ask the question, who am I? What does it mean to be Elliot?

And these things that I've put definitions on, Elliot. Elliot is. I am.

They're always true. I'm a father, I'm a husband, I'm a teacher, I'm a student, I'm a fighter, I'm A survivor.

Yep.

The only one that won't be true is Survivor when I die. But all the rest of them, death won't even stop them. Right. In. In the history books, no matter what happens. Right? Canaan and Simon Marshall, the father will always be Elliot. You can't ever take it away from me.

Yeah.

I will always be considered someone's teacher. And I will always be someone's student. Mm. I am a fighter. So knowing who I am and knowing that there's no outside event, nothing can happen that can change those things. Like, I mean, I guess I challenge everyone listening. Please send me a message if you can find one.

Yeah.

Name me something that could change them. Anything. Name something.

Well, if they're true. And they're always true, even when I fail now, even when I go try something and I'm unskillful at it. All right? It doesn't mess with me. That makes me unfuckable with. Because who I am, it doesn't touch it. It puts space in the gap. Right. And when we don't know who we are. Who you are and what you do are. Client. Are.

Yeah.

Clamped right next to each other. So if you mess up doing something, it crushes who you are.

Yeah.

So. But if you can get this space. Oh, I messed up. Oh. Or even on the other side, because you see the other side. Oh, my God. Look how well you did. $10 million. You're flying in a private jet. Everything's private. Look at you.

Yeah.

That shouldn't even. That shouldn't even do it to you either. That shouldn't change who you are. And it doesn't. If you gave me $10 million, which one of my I ams would change right now?

Yeah. That's so good.

Not a single one.

Yeah. I was just thinking through that. You know, father, husband, warrior, all of that all together. I was thinking the only thing that's hidden inside of those is the choice that we make to become more of those things or less of those things. Right. You can make a choice to become a great dad and to put effort into it, or. Hey, you know, this over here is important. I'm going to ignore this over here. Now, how have you been able to kind of take all of your experience and the vulnerability and the truths and everything and mold that into a framework for your students and stuff like that, for them to follow and kind of also allow themselves to become cop. You know, not copies of you, but model your behavior.

They have to become more. They're going to. They're going to be Their own thing, right? Like I have all my athletes, they text me every morning. I am. And they put their I am out. Yeah, right. Just so that when they go fight, right, when they go compete, the result of said competition doesn't touch who they are. Now we can just look at result of said competition and go, okay, skillful, unskillful. What do we need to do?

Yeah, yeah. Let me ask you this. You know, the. The Gospel of Fire is such a great book, but inside of it, why was now the time to get it out to the marketplace? Why, why, why, why the effort? Why now?

Why not?

Yeah, why not? Because, because I, you know, I'm normally in my office at home and I'm not in my office at home right now. But I, I try to, I try to do two. I try to live my life by two quotes. And know, normally on this side of me, behind me is the Martin Luther King quote. Darkness can't drive out darkness, only light can do that. Love can't draw hate can't drive out hate, only love can do that. So that's like my whole I am thing, right? Like, I love myself, I know who I am. And then to the right of me, normally behind me is the Teddy Roosevelt quote. It's not the critic who counts, it's the man who's actually in the arena. Right? And if you read through that whole quote, there's some, there's some, there's some lines in it, you know, and one of them is a worthy cause.

Yeah.

Am I doing something towards a worthy cause? So. Yes, so. So why not? And look, I don't know, man. People are struggling, right? People are struggling. And a lot of times, you know, when, when we think about, like, how to, how to help people, you're like, I'll go to the doctor. And look, I'm a huge advocate of the doctor and the therapist and, and medicine, if you need medicine. Look, I take, I take an anti anxiety medicine. It has given me the space to be able to do so much with my life, you know, so I'm not knocking any of that. But for most of us, when everyone can be, we say, I'm not. They're not. That's not, they're not struggling like me.

Yeah.

So when people can hear the story of somebody's struggle and really hear what their struggle was like, it connects us.

Yeah.

It connects us to each other. And we go, oh, wait a minute. That person is kind of like me. And I believe the biggest problem that we have in the world right now is that we're being told how different we are as humans. I'm different than you. Like, you're. You're. You're a white dude who. Who is Christian, and I'm a black dude who is. Was raised nothing. Grandparents Jewish, but not Jewish, and I don't know what I believe. And like, I have this weird interpretation of God, so. Man, we must be so far off, right? We must be so far off, and I don't. And where do you live? I don't know. Where do you live?

I'm in Raleigh, dude. So we're technically pretty far away.

But you're. You're. You're the south and I'm not the south, and. Yeah, right. And we try to find all these identities that start to strip us farther and farther apart when at our base core. That ain't true, man.

That's true.

That's. That's just not true. We're the same. I want my. I want my children to have a better life than me, as you do, as everyone does. Right. I want to be loved and accepted as a human being. The. The human being that I am now. Look, am I. I'm not talking about the racist piece of shits on. On either side, right? We're not. Okay, yeah, sure, we're not so similar as them, maybe, but that's not most people, right? We're not talking about these outliers. We're talking about the normal, everyday Joe Schmo and Mary Q. We're the same and we want the same things. So, man, let's stop this screaming of how different we are.

Yeah, no, I love that. You know, and the funny thing is, people didn't get to see us before we hopped on air officially. And I really like talking about our haircuts. Like, we got the same haircut, beard, you know, do we both have a heart to serve people? We both want to see people overcome difficult circumstances and kind of their own belief systems and stuff. We both want our families to be healthy and happy. We both want to run successful operations. We both want to make an impact in the world. We both love people with all of our heart, and we're both believers in the fact that. That love can conquer most of it. Like most of the junk. You know, there's an old saying that, you know, hate is not taught or. No, hate is not developed in the womb. Like, it's actually taught over time.

Yeah, exactly. So, you know, given regards to the world and kind of where we are in the world at the moment, one of the questions I've Been asking each of the guests recently, because I've been so inspired by many of the answers. Is this. What does it take to become unstoppable?

What does it take to become unstoppable? Yeah. Passion, power, purpose. You have to first know what your passions. What is it that you love?

What is it that you love? I love martial arts. Yeah, right. That's what I love to do. I spend my whole day doing it, and it's all surrounded. Even when I'm doing my online stuff, it's got this martial arts flair because that's how I learned. Right? That's my passion. What's my power? My power is that, man, I keep fighting. I keep fighting no matter what. Like I said, like, I have this, and that can then learn, lead to my purpose. I can show everyone how to keep fighting. They can now go. I can empower them to go find their passion, develop their power. And then with the purpose thing, look, you just give it away to the world. Yeah, you give it away to the world, man. Just. Just give it away. Watch what comes back. Yeah, watch what comes back. Stop. Stop trying to monetize. Stop trying to. What's your roi? Make your ROI a human life.

That's so good.

Make your ROI a human life. And when you make your ROI a human life, watch how much money you get. Watch. Right? It's like, you know, I'm reading this book,.com Secrets by Russell Brunson.

Okay.

And sure, it's very. It's. You know, it talks about the value ladder, mission statement.

If I told you.

That something cost $10 million.

You probably tell me to off.

Right? But if I told you what cost $10 million is gonna bring you $100 million, you would do it. You'd figure out a way to get 10 million.

Yeah. Perspective.

Everyone would. Everyone would. So just. Just. Just shrink that down. Yeah, Right. Just shrink that down as far as possible and take it off of money.

Touch a life. Really, really touch one where that person and your connection is so amazing that it spreads through the room when you tour together. And then do it again and do it again and do it again and do it again. And watch what you get back. Watch all the opportunity that your life gets filled with.

Mm.

And. And money. Money. You know, and money will just be a KPI, like a keeper indicator of that. Right? Like, it's not. It can't be the goal, because when money's the goal, you'll break your court. You break your core values consistently.

You'll become something that you don't Even.

Recognize because you have to. Because money's the goal. Because the winner is money. The winner is not a life.

Yeah, well, I think there's also a fib in people's lives where they think they've got to understand and know their purpose right now. You know, it's funny, I'm, you know, 45 years old now and it wasn't until the last three to five years that I really got clear on really what my purpose was. But in order to find that purpose, I had to go through 20 plus years of crap to understand what value or what gift I have now to offer the world. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? It's like the thing leads you to the thing. Quit worrying about how the thing is not here now. Like focus on doing the thing you're doing now.

Well, somebody, you know, I was talking to these kids the other week, you know, and they're 17 to 23. He was like, I want to be a motivational speaker. And I was like, well homie, you're going to have a little bit of a rough time, you know, but doesn't mean you can't do it. I was like, you need to go get some things to be motivational about. You gotta up.

Stories, man. Gotta have some.

Yeah, man, you know, you, you like nothing's happened to you yet unless like for the most part it's 17, 18 year olds. Right. Like not like some, some. Yes. Like, you know, Anne Frank had an amazing motivational story by the time she was child. You know, the circumstance of the universe in the world at the time. Time. But you know, most 17 year olds, nothing's really happened. Yeah, you haven't over. You got to overcome. So go, go do some things, go do some things. Fail and then you'll be in a motivational speaker.

Yeah. And that's why I wanted to mention that is because, you know, I want to give people permission. Like you have permission to screw up as long as you learn from it. You've got permission not to know what you want to do right this very second. And you shouldn't put all that extra pressure on yourself. And what you should be focused on is just doing the thing in front of you. Really.

Well, this is, and again, this is another problem that we're having. Right. Like you mess up and everyone throws it on Twitter right away.

Yeah.

Like, and look, doesn't happen to me and you. Right. We're not big enough. But like, you know.

I think our leaders suck. Okay. I'm not trying to make that argument, but God forbid they mess up, man. Every single one of them messes up. It's not that you mess up. It's how do you deal with the mess up? Yeah, right. Like. Like what happens after the mess up? I mean, have you ever said anything bad to your wife?

Oh, yeah, of course. I've had stuff I want to take back. I've also had, you know, things hurled my way. I mean, it's just. It's human nature. It's human behavior.

Are we holding. Are you still holding your wife? Is she holding you accountable for these things that happened 10 years ago? No, you got to own it. You got to own your mess up. You got to say, yo, I messed up. Yeah, I need to change my direction, but we're not giving any space for this. We need space to go, oh, wrong. Let's try to. Let's try to be more skillful.

Well, and I think. And I know we don't have a couple more minutes left, but I think one of the things on that point is the importance of not just owning the mistake and not just being sincere with the apology, but also having a complete change in direction. Because if you don't have a change in direction, you're really not sorry. You're really. You're really not a, you know, being intentional with, hey, I really did mess up here.

Well, that's not owning the mistake.

Yeah.

Words don't matter. Actions do. Action. Words followed by actions is what matter.

Yeah, I heard somewhere that. I heard somewhere. Say it somewhere a long time ago. I can't remember where it was. But we judge ourselves by our intent, and other people judge us by our actions.

Of course.

And it's not until intention meets action that all of a sudden you got identity and security.

Right. Yeah, it's such a great one. And. And we judge other people by their actions, not their intent. You know, so maybe we could just all take a step back. Yeah, maybe we can go, what was the intent first?

Yeah, we got.

I believe it's the. I believe it's the four Agreements. I love the four Agreements. Have you read that book?

No, I haven't. Let's. Let's say. Let's go.

There's four agreements. It's super simple. Be impeccable with my word. So always try to very, very skillfully, you know? Number two, take nothing personally. Right. Maybe that person's having the worst day of their life. And, yeah, sure, they said it to me like this. Number three, make no assumptions. And this is where the intent thing comes in. We start to assume intent Right. And then number four, it says, always do your best. But I don't like the word best. I like more skillful. So I say, always look for the most skillful action. So if. And look, this is how I start my day. I wake up, I meditate, I have some gratitude. I have make the four agreements, I repeat my I ams, and then I go. And this is how I do every day. This is how every day starts for me. But, you know, 352 days of the year. Right.

You know, and then I go, and then I. But I start there, you know, so every day. And it always keeps it on my mind. It keeps it in the forefront of my mind. Elliot, you being impeccable with your word? Elliot, are you taking nothing personally? Elliot, are you. Are you making no assumptions about the other person's intent or meaning behind? And then, Elliot, was that the most skillful thing?

Yeah.

And then at the end of the day, the way I close my day is right where I, you know, it's a religious practice basically.

Right.

The same place where I meditated and had gratitude and did that in the morning. I get down on my hands and knees at night. I have these mala beads. You know, I don't. You know, I like them. I hold. I hold them. And then I just thank everyone in my life that loves me for the space that they give me, the love that they show me, and then the space that they give me if I was unskillful.

I love it. I love it. You know, you've used the word skillful a lot in this particular episode, and I love that word.

You're the only person I've actually interviewed so far that uses the word skillful in the context that you use it just for the audience that maybe is trying to follow, explain what skillful means to the process.

You can always be more skillful. So if the goal is always just more skill, then you're never worst or best.

Yeah.

And even when you are worst and best, what's the goal? More skill. Yeah, it's just. Just, just be more skillful. Right. If Michael Jordan stopped after the first title, what would have happened? He wouldn't be the icon that he is right now. Yeah, he always wanted more skill. Right. He always wanted to be more skillful until it was over. Right. And now as the. Everyone told him how bad of an owner he was. Right. Well, now what is he, the second black billionaire or the third black billionaire? Can't be that bad.

I think he's doing okay, right?

He's doing okay. Right. So now, look, I'm not saying. He's not saying that you should model your life after Michael Jordan. We all know his flaws. Right? You know, and so that. And. But I'm just saying, right? Like, just in this bat, in this one sense, his goal was always and always has been more skill.

Yeah.

It's. And that led him at the end of the career to be the goat. Right? The best, the greatest of all time.

Yeah.

Now, there's no guarantee. There's no guarantees along the way, and most. Most of us are gonna fall short of goat status.

Mm.

But why in the world would you judge yourself on Michael Jordan? Because you're not playing with the same deck of cards. Michael Jordan is.

Yeah.

Right? You have a totally different deck of cards. So why don't you just be the goat of your life? Mm. Why don't you just handle your life as skillfully as possible? And at the end of the day, when you close your eyes for the last time, you get to be like, oh, man, that was some shit, huh? That was some shit. And then look, wherever the cards fall after our eyes closed, that's where the cards fall, baby.

Yeah, man. I dig it. I dig it, dude. Well, I've enjoyed hanging out with you. You got a new brother over here on this side of the world, so.

Man, that's. Hell, yeah. Let's do it. I love it, man.

Well, look, where can everybody else find out more about you and connect with you and learn more about what you're.

Look, everything I do is on my Instagram and on my. My website, elliot marshall.com. and my Instagram is @fire marshall205. So if you want to give me a follow, I would love a follow. Just, you know, if you want to go check out my website, I got, you know, my books on there, my podcast, my courses. But that's not really why I do any of this, Right? I do this. We were talking earlier, you know, I do. I just. I just want one person. My goal is one person every day to be like, all right. Yeah, I can do it. Yeah, okay. I can do it. You know? And then after that, I'm so lucky, and I live such a privileged life that I don't need anything, you know? Like, I don't. I don't need more. The only thing I need more of is more love. So that's always my goal, man.

I love it, dude. I love it, dude. I mean, it resonates. I think you achieved your goal today in spades. Something tells me we got one more than One or two today.

I don't shoot high. You know, I don't shoot high. I keep it real low. Just one, you know, because if we hit one, just. Just think about what that does. Because if that one gets the idea to, oh, maybe I'll try to inspire one. Like, look. Look how we change the world, right? Everyone wants to change the world. Well, the truth is, you are one. One at a time.

Yeah, one at a time. One. One time. When you're giving love, when you want to give hate and make respects and.

Change the world, just try it.

If you love that interview, go ahead and check out this next one right here, man. We can't wait to get you on again.

All right, homie, I'd love to do it. And let's stay in touch, man. You know?

You got it, man. I think we're Instagram buddies now, so.

We are.

Rock on, dude.

Take care.

All right, man.

Thanks. Yep.

If you love that interview, go ahead and check out this next one right here.

Little by little, I will see somebody doing.

Saying something different, or I would think.

Oh, that's a better way to do this.

Let me try to repeat it.

Let me try to embrace it. And then before you know it, it becomes your character.