When You Understand THIS, You Will Become Successful | Dr. Ann Kaplan

We often put ourselves into the idea of success would be following what your parents had done, or they had a house and they had two cars and they were married and they had a dog. And then we get there and maybe in life we get close to that and then we say, okay, now I'm successful, but if you could embrace that idea of success and you can say, I'm going to create my own idea of success, or even just say I'm living life the way I want to, then there's nothing that stops you from doing anything you want.

You know what, you've had an incredible career thus far and I know you're still getting going. I'm curious. One of the things that I always like to do is I always like to see these crazy successful entrepreneurs like yourself give us the origin story. Because I know for me, I didn't start off in business knowing what I was doing at any given moment.

So yeah, I don't think I have ever known exactly where I'm going or what I'm doing. It's just that you have to stay on the treadmill and you have to have something that you're moving ahead and you're kind of collecting experiences and building your business and your growth at all times. So I think I'm the same as you. I haven't had this pathway that I'm necessarily following.

Yeah, what, what, in your entrepreneurial journey, is it something that, you know, obviously you, you've been very resilient, you've been through quite a bit, early stage, you know, in your life and you've managed to be very successful in the TV realm as well as the business realm, as well as the fashion realm. And now buying a castle, I mean, there's like, how did, how did you even like give me a little bit of the journey?

So I think I've never looked at life where you have to have this particular goal. It's like you open the door and you look out and there's this just big, massive field, a never ending field, and you can go in any direction you want. So we often put ourselves into the idea of success would be following what your parents had done, or they had a house and they had two cars and they were married and they had a dog and. And then we get there and maybe in life we get close to that and then we say, okay, now I'm successful. Yeah, but it's different if you can erase that idea of success and you can say, I'm going to create my own idea of success or even just Say, I'm living life the way I want to, then there's nothing that stops you from doing anything you want.

Yeah. Well, that leads me to something else that I know that you really stand for. It's like, I think the. I think the words you use are, no matter who you are, no matter what you're about, own it.

Yeah.

Is that kind of like your. Your mantra, your battle cry?

I think it's. And I have a lot of kids, and I say to them, don't ever do something where you go back to someone. You say, I'm sorry. Just don't do it in the first place. So if you're going to do something and you think that you can correct it by saying, oh, I'm really, really sorry I said that to you, or really sorry I was mean. It's just, try not to be a mean person. Try not to be someone who has to ever say I'm sorry or apologize. And. And it's also about living your life accountable. So if you do it, you are accountable. So don't take an action that you don't want to be accountable for. And that's in business, and that's in little tiny things in life. That's in confrontations that you might have with somebody at Starbucks because they didn't do your coffee right. Try to turn those negative moments, as small as you might think they are, into positive moments and being accountable for who you are, even if you don't think anyone's looking.

I love it. I love it. Now, tell me a little bit. So have you decided officially, like, who your favorite child is?

Yes, Chase.

Yeah. Why is that?

Chase came into. He was, like, 16, and I. He. Right now, he's 19. And he came into the kitchen, and it was in early October, and he's got a very deep voice, and he says, mom, he says, I got your birthday present. And I said, well, Chase, it's not my birthday. And he goes, I got you a present. And I'm like, okay. And he goes, you want to see it? And I said, well, if you want to show me, show me the present. He turns around, he pulls his pants down. I thought he was going to move me, but he goes all the way down, and on the bottom, it says on his calf, he's tattooed, I love Mom. And I said, not only are you really smart because I can't get mad at you and you're underage getting a tattoo, but you put, I love Mom. So I can't even get mad at. Mad at you for getting a Tattoo. And then I went over and before that, Luke, the oldest was our favorite song. And he had a trophy that I got at the dollar store, you know those first place trophies, plastic. And I got out Luke's trophy and I've changed it to Chase and then gave it. He's the number one son, my absolute favorite until someone else gets a tattoo.

Oh my gosh, that's so funny. Well, talk to me a little about ifinance. What, what, what? Necessity, that. Hey look, I'm going this direction. I want to serve the mentality. Like talk about if finance.

Well, Canada at the time was a two tiered medical system. Still is. And I thought because all the word was 26, 27 years ago was that we, we would go, actually we would go to a two tiered medical system. It was really government funded for a lot of the procedures. And I thought, what are we going to do? So I started a company that would finance procedure. But at the time the easier entry was plastic surgery. And this was the beginning of the cosmetic enhancement boom. So you could get financing for plastic surgery. We could offer that. And we ended up with the first year like a million dollars in plastic surgery financing. And the 13th month, we did 1 million in that month alone. And it was like a snowball. So it wasn't like I started a company and knew it was going to boom like that. We just happened to hit the mark finding a solution to a problem, which was how do you finance unsecured lending? Like you don't have a car, you can't repossess it. And I just started out and from then on it was problem solving, problem solving, how do we do documents, how do we secure, how do we get money back? And so I didn't have the plan, but I found solutions as we went along and built it over 25 years.

Well, how much of that is entrepreneur, like an entrepreneurial instinct versus the professional training that you've had with, with a doctorate in business and the mba? Like how did you, like how did you organize all that?

Well, the egg came before the chicken. So I had started the business and I was a, had a degree in interior design and then I later got my other doctorate, my mba, my master's of science. So I started out with just let's find a solution. And I think that's the entrepreneur. You find a solution. Now there's a difference between being a good entrepreneur and being an entrepreneur.

Yeah.

So when you say you're an entrepreneur, that's anybody with an idea.

Yeah.

When you say you're a working entrepreneur, that's someone who's applied it. But to be a good entrepreneur, you need to turn that entrepreneurial idea into an actual business model and then have a return on that and be able to grow that and make changes. That's the difference. Anyone can come up with an idea, but come up with an idea where you've thought of how to monetize on it and how to distribute. Actually reverse engineer. How are you going to distribute your idea?

Yeah.

And then reverse engineer to figure out how to do that and what your idea would be.

Yeah, that's. That's great advice. One of the things I've always told entrepreneurs is there's really, you know, only a handful of things you got to master, and you master them kind of one at a time. Obviously acquisitions and sales, then you got fulfillment. How are you going to deliver this product? Good or service. Yeah. You know, what does the financial picture look like? How are you going to make sure that you're making money or you're being profitable or you're generating revenue or watching your cost or managing your checkbook and all the things that go with that and then creating raving fan retention. Right. I know with a lot of your services, a lot of even your personal brand has been about making people find more about themselves than they realize. Was there. Was that something that was kind of intuitive or something you kind of stumbled along?

I think. Isn't naivety just a great source of.

Yeah, yeah.

I, I don't think I've ever looked at what other people do. You just have to be true to yourself and you need to be your authentic self. And it's. There's a lot of judgment in this world these days and there's a lot of naysayers. And I think when I try to do something, I try to do something that comes from my heart and my values. And I don't really think about what anybody else is doing and how they do it. It's just if I'm a positive influence, I feel good, but I wouldn't want to be a negative influence. I would feel horrible.

Yeah. Well, you know what's one of the surprising to me this. I'm gonna be a little transparent with you in preparing and preparing for the show and just kind of learn more about your career and everything you've done. First of all, very, very impressive. Second of all, very hard, fat, very hot, hard fought battle in many respects to getting to kind of where you are. But third, you're. You have a level of humility that I don't see a lot in entrepreneurs that maintain your current level of success, you know, in the. In the grand scheme of things. Right. So is that, again, it's so rare to see somebody that resonates that level of humility, but also that level of success. Is that. Is that an intangible? Is that something you. You think maybe you were kind of born or destined with or did experience kind of get you there? How'd you get there?

I think. I think when you. When you have. In life, you have this feeling always like you might be some kind of a fraud, that people might find out just how human you are. Yeah. And so it's when someone says, oh, you've done this or that, I'm thinking, you know, I'm a mom in my head. That's what goes through my head, is I'm actually just a mom. I actually happen to build a business or I happen to be on the show or something, but that's not me. I'm a. I'm like a mom and a wife and.

Yeah.

And so you can be painted into a picture that you don't really think of yourself as if that makes sense. I don't know if it's humility or just. I just feel like that's not who I am. To me, I'm a mom. I also find everything absolutely funny. And my sister Jane says that she doesn't understand why I think everything's funny. And to me, there's life and there's death and everything else in between is funny. And so you can work really hard, but just have a sense of humor about what's. What's really going on in the room. Yeah.

Yeah. That's so good. Because, you know, reality is. I mean, events are going to come and events are going to go. You're going to have some. Some wins and some losses, so to speak. You're going to. At least for me, I know when I went through my divorce a number of years ago, it was a very painful experience. But looking back, it was also like, that was probably one of the best things that could have happened to me. Like, I was heading down a. Had I stayed in that relationship. I was. I was staying in the wrong pathway. And I look at my. My. My wife now and who's like my best friend, supportive. Both kick me in the butt and. And encourage me when I need it, you know?

Yeah.

Why do you think we. We as people are scared of that? Of. Of failure? Is it. Is it going back to the imposter syndrome or something deeper?

Well, I Think that people look at change in life as a failure, but really is it just not moving on to another chapter? And so when you described, if I'm going to take this as an example, not having analyzed and nor would I even know how to. But when you go through a separation.

Another close friend of mine called me up one morning. She was three hours earlier. I guess she must have been up all night because I was three hours later. She says, my husband, my husband left me for a younger woman. And I'm like, congratulations, you got rid of them. And she laughed and laughed. And she still repeats this because she was expecting, like, this woe me, but he left her for somebody else. And so how do we look at something? Is that actually a failure that he left, or is that actually a relief? And so is that you changed wives. I'm going to put it lightly. Is that actually a relief or is. Did you. Did you just close that chapter and then you moved on? It doesn't mean there was a negative chapter. It doesn't mean it was bad that your marriage ended, but probably you just moved on. And so it's how we look at something. It's perspective that we look at something that makes. Look, why are we defining a failure as a marriage that didn't work out? Yeah, it was. You spent years with someone, maybe that you had different perspectives in life and you moved on.

Yeah.

And so it's. It's how you view something. So it's not necessarily a failure. Except for my first marriage, that might be an exception.

Well, I know with perspective in general. I know. I know it's a. There's a huge piece of that that does control what I think Wayne Dyer should say. When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change, you know.

Exactly.

And I know for me in my journey, that's been absolutely true. You know, there's been times when I've made decisions that have come back to basically be what I refer to as a mistake in the moment, but a lesson in the long run kind of thing. Like, you know, you kind of. You kind of learn, okay, well, no, that actually happened. I'm better for it. Even though it was very painful or it wasn't, it wasn't something that was comfortable in that moment. And, you know, going back to the humility thing, one of the things that, that I picked up on since we've been chatting is you're very, very in tune, have a very authentic identity, like, you know very much who you are from, at least from the outside Looking in that you have a really good understanding about, kind of like, you know, this is what I'm about. This is, you know, I'm not, I'm not things. I'm not. I'm not what I do. I'm. I'm me again. I find that entrepreneurs specifically probably struggle with identity historically more than anybody else, at least in my case. A lot of entrepreneurs that I've, I've met, including myself, early stage was, hey, I need to prove something to myself. I need to prove something to my parents. I need to prove, I need to prove, I need to prove, I need to prove. And lo and behold, I got to the point where I had proved so much, I forgot who I was proving it to.

Right.

Do you find that in business as well, with other folks?

I don't know about with others, but I, I do find there was one point way back when, because I was doing finance for a long time and I was really in a tight bind, and we were at that point where we really needed investment in the company. And it was November, and I remember it was around November 11th or 12th, around that time. And I had two little boys and I was a single mom. And the Friday afternoon, my financing fell through and I stayed up that night and I cried myself to sleep. And I woke up the next morning and I looked at my two boys and I went, am I crying about financing? Like, you got to get it in perspective when you've got two kids.

That need you to put a roof over your head and be a happy human being. That. Why do you get upset about business? Like, business has all these different kinds of things that happen through it. And. But what really is ultimately important is how you are with the people that depend on you and the people that you walk beside in life. Yeah, the business is just something you do. And so when you can get that into perspective, you're not embarrassed if something doesn't go right. And if somebody is judging you, you're with the wrong person. So if you're with somebody who is with you because they think you're going to build the biggest company or you're going to be this. Well, when, when something fails and you're feeling like they're going to change their perspective of you, why don't you look at why you're with that person? So it's, it's. That's really important. It's.

I know, I know that my husband, the current one that I've been with for many, many years is, would just put, put his hand out and hold my hand. If I had something hard happened, I'd say, how can we help this? How can I help you? But would not judge me. Maybe in some point, people can't help but think something but would be there to lift my spirits and say, let's go for dinner.

Yeah.

Move on to the next chapter. Why don't you write a book now? Or something like that?

Oh, that's so good. Yeah.

Yeah. And I think that we need to not try to live up to other people's expectations for us. What do your parents think? What would your wife think? What would your kids think? It's.

Do your best.

Yeah. Yeah.

Without trying to set the bar. And. And I don't think that's just an entrepreneurship. I think that's in our careers too. So if you're not necessarily an entrepreneur, but you're working and you have a career that isn't entrepreneurial, that be with someone who respects the career you've chosen. Yeah, yeah.

No, that's great. You know, I was just thinking, too, in. In my journey, there's been several times where you don't think something's working out or something's not supposed to work out or whatever ends up becoming a blessing in disguise. Have you had times maybe at least one. Maybe at the top of your mind where you thought, you know, this. This thing needed to happen or it didn't happen, but yet it ended up being a blessing in disguise?

Yeah. I think there's been many times when I met my working career, you can say entrepreneurial, but then it turns into a business that things have not happened where financing has fall through or something's happened, and it's just, my goodness, am I lucky? Because I found something that was better. But you learn from. And I know it's cliche, but you do learn from things that you consider didn't work out.

Yeah.

And so did I pitch this wrong? Did I? I got turned down so many times when I was pitching for cash or for money or for. For investment that every time someone turned me down, I'd want to know what was the issue. So maybe they asked me, who's your competitors? And I'm like, listing competitors. Well, the next time I went in to do a pitch, I had a little booklet that said competitors on the front. And I had done my research. When somebody would ask me, who's your competitors? I could pull that book out and say, here's the competitors in this jurisdiction. And I would have that in that. And you can bet they never looked. They just wanted to know that I knew who my competitors were as an example. So you learn from times when you're turned down, but don't make that mistake twice.

Yeah, no, that's. That's actually really good advice. I was just thinking through some of the things that I've witnessed even recently. I was just talking to a young man who's in the process of building out his visual identity. You know, so one of the businesses I own as an events company, so we, we specialize in helping speakers get footage and stuff. And in doing so, one of the things that he was talking about, he goes, yeah, you know, it's. It's funny, all these. There's a lot of, you know, entrepreneurs, and then there's entrepreneurs. I said, what's the difference between an entrepreneur and a entrepreneur? He's like, resilience. He said, you know, a lot of the. A lot of folks think, you know, because Instagram and TikTok make it sexy. You know, I'm an entrepreneur, I'm on my grind. Meanwhile, real entrepreneurs, when they lock eyes within a fellow entrepreneur, they. They can see it. They can see that there's. There's scars that are under the skin that you really can't kind of address and, and whatever. And one of the things that I try to do with, even with Unstoppable is I want to make sure that people have a framework of.

Basically continued progress. Right? You may have setbacks, but as long as you take the next step forward, it, you know, you will eventually get to, you know, whatever the destination is in that moment, and that destination changes. Speaking of, how did you find yourself wanting to buy a castle?

That is only a week ago? We, we live part time in London and we were looking for an apartment. And London is very, very expensive. We're also in the middle of a recession. We're also going into inflation, and following a recession, you would generally have a drop in prices of real estate. So I'm not going to invest in an apartment. So my husband and I decided just not to. We would rent, and we only live in London part time, so we just rent part time. Then I thought, I wonder if houses are expensive in England. So I started looking at prices of houses. And it's cheaper to buy a house than it is to buy in the outskirts of London than to buy a townhouse in London. And I thought, I wonder what a castle costs.

I wonder what a cast. I went from a house.

To a castle. What does the castle cost?

So I Google this and I find this castle and I contact the brokerage, say, hey, is this Castle Purcell? No answer. So a month later, this is going back four months, three months. He contacts me. So we're in the end of last year. He says the deal. No, I contacted him, I said, hey, I haven't heard from you as a castle for sale. And he emails back and says it's under exchange, which in England means it's under contract. Do you want to see it? And I said, nah, I don't want to look at it and fall in.

Love with it and not be able to buy it.

Then he contacts me a month later and says the deal fell through. Do you want to look at the castle? So I said, okay, I'll look at it tomorrow. So I said to my husband, we're going to go look at a castle. And he says we're not buying the castle anyway, we go to look at it. And originally it was 34 million pounds. This is all public knowledge and it's, it's replacement value is 44 million pounds. It had gone down and down in price and the Last offer was £11 million. So I looked at the castle and the next day I called the broker and said, okay, I'll buy it, but I'll give you six and a half million. We ended up settling for 5.5 on this 139 acre castle with cottages and horse stables and all this stuff. And then we, that was just last week and then we're starting a wedding venue and that's. We're up starting a docu reality TV show around the castle. Oh, that's a great way to present worldwide your castle business.

Yeah, no, I think that's amazing. In fact, I'll actually add this to the story. So it was probably.

I had met, I went on my first date with my wife two days before I decided to go to Ireland for two weeks on a sabbatical for myself. I told her I was sweeping the floors of my heart, so to speak. But one of the things that I was enamored with being Scotch Irish is some of the castles that are all that are all over Ireland and Scotland and whatnot. And it's funny because as you're driving around the countryside you see like remnants of castles and you know, towers and stuff, like, you know, off in the middle of a field somewhere. And I wanted to stay at this, the castle called the Ashford Castle. And the Ashford cast used to be one of the ones that the Guinness family used to own. And they had turned that into a hotel bed and breakfast kind of vibe. And I remember when I came Home. I spent probably three there, three days there on that particular site. You know, I was traveling Ireland when I was there, so I spent some time in the Ring of Cary and I spent some time over in Dublin and so on and so forth.

Yeah.

But when I was at that castle, there was something about being able to leave the castle, walk out the door, walk down and go do some archery, walk down and go ride some horses, go onto the lake or the lock, as they kind of do it, or. Or even go to the. The falconry. We had a falconry thing, so I had this big owl in my hand. It felt like you weighed like nothing. And it was just. It was something special about. I don't know if it was. If it was kind of. It was grounding or if it was the history, but I could sit in.

Even.

I could. I could sit inside the. The castle itself. They actually turned what used to be the dungeon into a small little micro restaurant that they called Dungeon.

They did that. My husband and I renewed our vows just under a year ago and in Scotland in a castle. And they had the same thing. Yeah. And I was talking to someone today about our castle, and he said, oh, I'm just going downstairs in the basement. And I said, there's a basement? I had no idea. And he said.

I said, restaurant.

Yes. Does it look like a dungeon? He said it was about the size, but I think they keep all of the electrical down there or something like that. I'm not sure.

Yeah.

Uses a service room.

Yeah. Well, the cool thing is it's a really. It's a really cool, unique vibe. Like, it has its own. And, you know, I. I visited, I think, three castles. I think I visited three, stayed in two when I was in Ireland during that trip, and I had such an amazing experience again. It was grounding. It was peaceful, it was serene. It was.

Yeah.

I don't even can. I can't even put it all into words. So the fact that you're taking this. This property going to turn into what you're going to turn into, I. I can. It's going to do a lot of. A lot of good to a lot of hearts. I. I would dare say it's going to be fun.

And we're going to. We're going to embrace that castle experience. So, like, the prince and princess getting married and the staff are going to be dressed in castle costumes and. Yeah, like medieval times or Downton Abbey. And so when you walk in, it's going to be, like, really fun. And so it's neat to Take on a project where it's not so serious, but you can put that creative vibe into it. Now, did you go and get married in a castle? Did you marry him?

We didn't get married in the castle, but one of her dreams was to make it back to Ireland. And on our second date, we actually did two back to back dates. We met and it was like almost instant. The next day we went on a date and then, then I went to Ireland and then we faced.

We.

I would, I would actually tell people we actually fell in love over. Over FaceTime.

Yeah.

Like it forced us to get to know each other without getting to know each other too early. Like it was a. I don't know, it was really. It was a really cool thing. But one of the things that she, that she wanted to be sure of is she spent. She actually lived in Ireland for three years. Her, her former husband was an airline pilot and he was based out of Scaries. And you know, she loved Ireland. That was like her home. That was, you know, that was her special place. And of course, when they moved back, she, she had a yearning for it. And I remember on her second date, she was. I was like, well, you know, I said, I said, someday I'll take you back to Ireland. And she literally started crying. I almost started crying. She said, don't say something, don't say something like that. You can't like follow through on. I was like, you don't know me. So kind of thing. And so sure enough, we celebrated our honeymoon in Ireland. So we went back on a two week vacation for the two of us. And then, you know, toward. I kind of did the same kind of tour in countryside and it was, I don't know, it is a very special thing. And for those watching now, you got to go find Ann and go figure out where the castle is and hopefully book some, book some space. But yeah, it's. It's definitely.

Ireland is pretty beautiful too. It's. It's beautiful. Beautiful.

It's the whole area. Scotland, Ireland, you know, the northern part. Yeah, it's. It's all stunning. Well, to talk about the renovation because now, now we're talking about a business. So what, what kind of renovations are having to. Gonna go into the property to get it ready for your dream?

Well, the weddings start very quickly because the prior owners had brides that were 34 brides and grooms that were booked for weddings.

Oh, wow.

Instead of doing what our sale agreement said, they inadvertently sent an email out to all these brides and grooms and said Your wedding's canceled. So this made the news. Like, the news. And it made the front page of the paper. Brides and tears and all this stuff. So we had to very quickly rejig the wedding venue and then give these brides and grooms their weddings that they had booked. The castle's grade once was a historic building, so everything you do has to go through.

Approval.

Yeah, lots of approvals.

Easy. Yeah. It's not easy, but we were. My husband and I were staying at this hotel called the Dorchester, which is the same hotel chain as Beverly Hills Hotel.

Yep.

And we were having breakfast and there were hotels under renovation in London. And the waiter says, it's a lot of noise.

It sounds. And I said, yeah, whatever. And he said, they're going to renovate the rooms after. So I left and I was walking through the hall. We've been living there for a few months when we decided not to. To buy a place. And I saw the manager as we were thinking about this castle, and I said, what are you doing with all the furniture from the Dorchester? When you were.

Oh, that's cool.

Anyway, we bought 800 pieces last week from the Dorchester and it's all this or neat, gorgeous furniture. And we're putting that in the castle. So the rooms are going to be decorated. I'm going to call it Dorchester South. I don't know if there's a legal liability around that.

Either that or Dorchester Abbey. Either way. Either way, you can kind of put your spin on it for sure.

Yeah, yeah. Or it could just change it to like Dork Chester.

Yeah, yeah. Just put a K or K or C into it. That's awesome. Well, it's crazy because, you know, you. You have a very specific design taste. You know, it's. It's crazy to watch.

Like, the ideas that come up with making, for example, taking burlap and turning into an accessory or turning into a full fledged outfit, taking a trash bag and turning it into a full fledged accessory. Like, where does that creativity come from?

I don't know. But the. The trash bag was going on Entertainment Tonight and my PR had set up and I was going to go on the show and I arrived and I was all dressed for it, but I brought the garbage bag thinking, you know, I'd really just like to show people that it's not who you wear, it's how you wear it and how you present yourself. And I, I really am not a designer person that I think we should be able to be a little bit more eclectic and be our own person and I went in the washroom before, just before going on air, and I came out wearing this garbage bag with a cinched waist, with a belt and Aaliyah shoes. And I went on and did the whole Entertainment Tonight, and they didn't ever. Nobody said, are you wearing a garbage bag? They just thought it was like a shiny dress. And then later on, they figured it out before it went to air, and it had aaliyah shoes, whatever, 1500 dollars dress, 25 cents by hefty cinch sack. Exactly, exactly. And then the burlap came from going on the magazine cover for Christmas, and they pre shot it in October, and they wanted me to be fashion forward. And I thought, how do you be fashion forward when you don't know what the fashion will be in two and a half months? Yeah. It's true change. Kim Kardashian can wear something bright pink and all of a sudden that's in style. Or Lady Gaga wears a snake ring, and all of a sudden that's in style. So how can you predict two and a half months? So I kept thinking about it, and finally it's just, I'm going to wrap myself in burlap and make my own dress. And that way I'm not following a trend. And so it. It was less expensive. Really hot. Like, I would recommend that you sort of not wrap too much, that you.

Wear maybe one or two layers and not too much because it gets really hot in there.

Yeah. So it kind of. It kind of, I guess it was. Had the same effect as a sweatsuit. If you're trying to doing too much.

I don't recommend it. I don't recommend it.

Oh, my God.

And then, then I went to New York to the Glamour magazine party, and I wore a burlap dress, and it got stuck in the. On the street in New York, and little threads start coming out along the. Like it's stuck in the grid thing there, but it's not the designer. It's like just being you.

Yeah.

So I think we need to be allowed to be ourselves without criticism. As long as we're respectful to the host.

Yeah, absolutely. Well, the reality is, I guess you, as long as you're confident in your own skin, you can be confident in anything.

Right? Yeah. And. And respectful. So if you're at a funeral, you might want to rethink the garbage bag. Yeah. Or something like that. But be respectful to whoever you're is hosting the event that you're at or the environment you're in, and then just. Just be comfortable.

Yeah. Oh, man. That's so good. Well, we can't let you get off the show too, too long without talking about the Housewives and, and kind of your experience there. What led you to obviously being part of the show and then. And then being such an integral part of it?

They asked me and it was just an instant yes. Yeah. And I loved it. And I don't know if I'm the only one that loved it as much as I just, just had a hoot then. At the time, I was working full time in finance, and when you sit behind a desk for 25 years, or at that time, maybe less than 25 years, but every day with the door shut, and then suddenly you're. I'd hosted TV before, but I hadn't been on a reality show. And suddenly you're, you're wearing gowns and you're going places. Yeah. And you got cameras following you, and it's, it's really fun. And so, like, my experience with the whole Housewives thing is great. And I would do it ten times over again. And it, like, if you don't like who you are, then don't do a reality show.

Yeah, but.

And if you don't like who you are and then you, you go and film and then you say, oh, can I change that? Like, be aware of what's coming out of your mouth. Yeah. And then if you're watching and like, oh my gosh, look how I look. You look like how you look because that's how you are. It's not because they portrayed or made you say something. It's actually because you were saying something really rude and that's why you look rude. And so it's, that's what I think you should do if you're in reality show. I think it's great. I have great admiration for the Kardashians and people that do shows.

Yeah.

Great admiration for what they do with their brands. And if you don't like it, don't watch it.

Yeah. Well, not only that, and my guess is if you're following around with cameras literally non stop for days on end, I mean, everybody likes a little personal time for themselves a little bit. I have always been curious, though, how much of the, how much of the, some of the drama of some of these shows is based in reality versus editing versus writing, versus a combination of all of it.

I think that the stuff in our show was, that was all real, but they're filming maybe six storylines at the same time, and one of them makes it into maybe three. Make it into an episode, but the storylines are filmed and then they start to sort of knock out the ones possibly that don't have a good storyline. And so you. They're filming those multiple lines at the same time, and the ones that end up with the most drama make it to air. So a lot of that is very, very, very real. But there's a lot that isn't dramatic that never makes it on air.

Well, I have flat out enjoyed our time. I could talk to you for days. The experience level is just.

It's.

It's profound. What's the best way for people to stay in contact with you and learn more about what you're doing? I mean, are we. Are we. Are we going to, like, let. Let them kind of like, connect with ifinance? We're going to let them know, hey, the castle is available. Come on out. Take a look at the castle.

Well, I would love somebody to come to the Castle. I guess it would be Ann Kaplan. A n kaplan.com, like the website and Kaplan with a k dot com. And then there's also. And there's also drm2d.rm and then the number two dot com, which has all about my husband and I and links to the castle. And. And they can book. And if they use the surprise word, then I'll give them a 5% discount. No, I'm just kidding.

So what is the surprise word? I'm like, I'm in. Let's go.

I just made that up and my manager's gonna kill me. They go, somebody's texting. Surprise. Yeah.

You're like, they get 5%. Let them all in.

That's funny.

I'm joking. I have no idea what the prices are, but somebody's managing all that.

Oh, my gosh. Well, I've enjoyed our time together. I can't thank you enough for taking some time to jump by. Unstoppable. Wish you the absolute best. Can't wait to do this again. Anytime you got something new cooking. Very special soul.

I'm very grateful for you and I appreciate it. And. And back to you. So thank you very much.

Thanks a lot. All right, take care. I hope you liked that video. And if you did, make sure you check out this next video right here.

There's always going to be narcissists in this world. They are always going to be toxic. You just need to shift that dynamic and really remember that the narcissist is way more afraid of you than you are of them. That's why you need to focus on you. You being on the offensive. You know, I always say that football teams don't score points on the defense. They score on the offensive and so focus on you, and that's how you end up winning.