Why You Feel “Stuck” | Life-Mastery Q&A

All right, today's question is, how can I stop feeling like an imposter? I can personally tell you from my personal life that I used to struggle with that as well. Thinking the fact that I didn't graduate high school, I didn't go to college, and I didn't do all these fun stuff, that somehow my advancement or the fact that I was actually becoming successful in my own right was somehow. Well, I wasn't worthy of it. And I think we can all face that from time to time. I think three things that I kind of pinpointed that I jotted down. First of all, give yourself some credit for your achievements. Far too often we get something done, we get kind of rewarded for it, but we never actually take the time to actually appreciate the advancement we've already made. The second thing is stop comparing yourselves to others. That got me in trouble a lot. You don't realize sometimes that, unfortunately, somebody may have taken five to 10 or even 20 years to get to the place they're at, but you're looking at them like they got there yesterday. It takes time to win. It takes a plan to win. And if you'll just use that time wisely, you'll get there. The third thing and final thing is focus on making progress rather than getting to a destination. This has to do with impatience. The more patient you are and the more consistent you are, the more confident you'll become and the less you'll feel like an imposter, and the more you'll win.

Okay, guys, the next question is, why do I always feel like a failure? I can personally tell you that one of the things I used to struggle with a great deal was feeling like a failure on a regular basis. In fact, I might win nine times out of 10. But I would focus on the one time I didn't win or the one time I didn't bring it, or the one time I didn't get it, the one time I didn't deliver on somebody else's expectations. And I think it comes down to the way you look at, quote, failure. I personally don't see failure any longer as failure. I see failure as simply learning the only time that I ever actually fail is when I refuse to get back up, right? So you want to make sure you take the time to always get back up and learn from each mistake. By the way, here are four other things that I think that kind of can get you in trouble when you're looking at failure. First of all, impatience. Right? The more impatient you are, the more mistakes you're going to make. Right. The more uncertainty you have. If I look at number two, the more uncertainty you have, there's a greater chance of not having enough clarity in order to make forward to make a good decision, which could increase your likelihood of, quote, having a failure. What I would refer to as a mistake. Which also again, gives you an opportunity to learn. The third thing is making sure that are struggling with comparing yourself to others. Right. You are going to make different mistakes than different people. You're going to have different successes than different people and as a result, you're going to learn your way. I am very stubborn. I am very hard headed. If I'm being completely candid and honest, my wife would actually tell you that I'm the kind of guy that she says, hey, bridge out ahead, brick wall. And I'm the guy that says, don't worry babe, I can get there faster. Right? You're gonna make your own mistakes, own your mistakes and keep moving forward. Right. I think the fourth and final thing that I would kind of mention is an incorrect perspective. Right. Make sure you're taking the time to get as much perspective and as much feedback as you can possibly get. A lot of times what we deem as a failure, somebody else may actually deem as a success. Right. We may get 90% of our goal and again, we're focused on the 10%. I think if you'll do some of those things and give yourself room to learn and not fail, you'll start winning big.

All right. We get this question a lot. Okay. And that is I feel stuck. How do I move forward? So much of moving forward is about consistency and about being focused. What I've discovered is there's four phases in actually helping you create unstoppable amendment, unstoppable momentum. The first phase we call the gaining perspective. Right. Looking at things from as many different angles as possible, getting as much mentorship as possible, getting as much education as possible, getting as much modeling, meaning modeling after successful people as possible. Getting as much information as possible and then taking that information and digesting it, looking how you can position it to help you win. The second phase in unstoppable momentum we like to call recognizing and removing roadblocks. Far too often we're held accountable or held hostage by our roadblocks that are actually coming from our subconscious mind limiting beliefs could be a big one. How you actually look at taking initiative, whether or not you're putting in the work. Are you always stuck in analysis paralysis? In other words, are you loving these videos? But are you not Actually applying anything, okay, that could potentially be a roadblock. Now, roadblocks can come in a variety of forms. They can come for your emotional life, your spiritual life, your financial life, your educational life. It can come from all sorts of places. But if you take the time to recognize and remove them, they can get out of your way and stop impeding your progress. The third thing is phase three. We like to call organizing a plan. When you organize a plan, you're able to actually get traction with confidence because you're not stuck on what decision do I make, what step do I take? Because it's laid out in front of you. So you start with your outcome and you work yourself backwards, right? That creates an organized strategy for you to start to win. And I think the fourth phase is probably the biggest one that I see most of our clients and most of our followers and tribe members following up on or struggling with or stumbling upon, I should say. And that is work your plan, right? Take the time to actually take the steps. Studying all this information, modeling all these behaviors is no good unless you actually take the time to apply it. Now here's the secret. You don't have to take all the steps at one time. You just have to take one single step a day and you'll be making progress. And the more progress you make, the more confidence you'll have in taking more steps and the more you'll start winning and winning big.

Alright, this question we get a lot as well. How do I stop feeling like I need to please everybody? As someone who loves to serve people, as someone who loves to give to people, as. As someone who loves to be part of someone's life and be part of their transformation, I can understand how that could possibly be a problem. I'll also tell you that in order to keep myself in check, I follow four simple principles. And the first principle is I let go of expectations. The only person's expectations I actually hold myself accountable to are whether or not I know that I put in enough effort. Okay? I look at my own initiative and if I feel like I've made enough effort and I feel like I've had the initiative and I still don't get the result, or the person doesn't get the result that they need or want, then I typically let go of that expectation. Because the one thing you're never going to be able to control is someone else's expectations of you. The best you can possibly do is give the best of possible. Give the best of yourself as possible all the time. If you do that one Thing, well, you'll start winning big. Another one. Set clear and realistic boundaries. So many times when you go to set the expectation or you go to look at whether or not you're completing someone else's expectations, or you don't feel like you're met measuring up so many times it's because there's a fictitious boundary that it constantly is getting moved, right? You feel like you're heading one direction. You feel like the expectations here, and the next thing you know, it's been moved 3ft, 5ft, 10ft. And before long you feel like you're chasing. You're like a rabbit chasing, or like a dog, excuse me, chasing your tail. When nobody has time or the energy to do that, the emotional energy that gets. That gets expended doing that. The third thing is, is love them, but let them live their own life, right? You are not designed to be everybody else's savior. You're not designed to save the day for everybody else. The first thing they can do, like they tell you with the airport analogy, right, is put your own mask first. The best thing you can do to lead people out of their own struggle or the best thing that you can do to help people become successful is become successful yourself, right? Obtain a level of life mastery that you can personally depend on and, and make sure that you can use that to help yourself win. When you do that, what happens is you give other people the confidence and the inspiration to actually take ownership of that yourself. I had that happen with my own family, right? I was the black sheep of the family, so to speak, where I went out and did things a different way. Well, five years later, all of a sudden, now people within my family started following the same course of action, and you can do the same thing. The fourth thing in making sure you're not trying to quote, unquote, please everybody. What I call people pleasing or meet everybody else's expectations you got to be careful of is making sure you take the time to get replenishment, make sure you take the time to get some rest. I find that far too often we don't get enough rest. So when someone asks of us something that we can't deliver on, our automatic response is, yeah, I'll do it. Which leads us to not getting in more rest, which leads us making more bad choices, which leads us down a path that we don't want to follow. So take time at least once or twice a week to take time to have rest, develop a replenishment cycle. Where can you go? Who can you spend time with? Maybe it's with no one, right? Maybe you have a thing that you want to do, but make sure you take the time to rest. I think if you guys will do those four things, you'll finally see that the only expectations are the ones you need to meet for yourself.

Hey guys, I hope you enjoyed this week's Life Mastery Q and A Video. We're doing a new Q and A video every single Monday, and if you have questions you'd like answered, simply leave a comment below with your question below this video or email us@questionsury principles.com and if we use your question, we'll send you a free gift just to say thank you.