You Don’t Have a Strategy Problem, You Have a Self-Belief Problem with Stephen Scoggins

When you lose everything, you learn what you're really made of. Steven Scoggins went from sleeping in the back of a car to building a multimillion dollar empire. All because he stopped outsourcing his identity and starting trusted his assignment. This one's going to challenge how you think, how you live, and how you lead.

What if your greatest obstacle isn't your strategy, but it's actually your story? And what if the thing that you're most afraid to share is the exact thing that unlocks the next level?

Welcome to the mind of George show.

This is the show where entrepreneurs discover that true scaling isn't about hacks or tactics. It's about aligning your mindset, your message and your marketing to create sustainable growth that feels authentic and most importantly, aligned to who you are. And I'm stoked that you're here. And today's conversation with Steven is a gift. He's somebody I admire, I look up to, and the conversation was mind blowing. And if you're new here, welcome to the show. This is where we don't just talk about business. We talk about becoming the kind of person who can build and sustain the business. You were called to create and you're in the right place. Well, I would like to say so, but in this episode, I sit down with my friend Stephen, who's a speaker, author, serial entrepreneur, Steven Scoggins. And he went from rock bottom to massive impact. He talks about how he rebuilt his life by redefining identity, leaning into his faith, and learning the difference between temporary pain and a permanent calling. And Steven is a powerhouse. From sleeping in a car and battling suicidal ideations to building a massive eight figure business empire. He now helps other entrepreneurs transform their lives through his stage your comeback movement. He has a reinvention, roadmap, Roadmap. And his story isn't just inspirational, it's massively instructive to a degree. It helps guide us and lead us on how to show up. And so if you're in a season of navigating transition or feeling lost or doubting your calling, this conversation will remind you that your greatest breakdown, and I hate to say it, and it's cliche and it's true, but that your greatest breakdown might be the exact setup for your breakthrough. And so we talk deeply about the dangerous gap between success and significance. Why identity before strategy is the secret to sustainable growth. He breaks down and shares his five pillars of transformation. We talk a lot about, like how faith, purpose and healing work in real life and how to apply them and why the Hardest moments are often your sacred assignments. And so this isn't just another episode. It's a massive wake up call. And it was, for me, it's a blueprint and a permission slip to become who you were made to be, with a guide leading us through the process. And so, without further ado, let's get into the episode.

All right, everybody, welcome back to another episode of the Mind of George Show. I am in a different studio. I hijacked my partner's basement. But we are getting this done anyways, and so I'm stoked to be here. I've had the incredible pleasure of being a guest on today's guest podcast. That's a mouthful. Holy moly. And I felt like I met a brother. My head is not as freshly shaved as his, but we are bald brothers. Same values, kind of same story. I feel like he's kind of my Yoda, though, in one way, shape or form. And I had like one of the most incredible conversations. And this is one of those guests that you come across where you know, your bio doesn't quite do it justice. But I kind of got to paint the picture so you have some frame of reference whatsoever before we dive in. And so my friend today, from homelessness, which we share that in common to serial nine figure entrepreneur. He's a business strategist, best selling author, founderable, unstoppable solutions. He's been recognized by all of the big ones. USA Today, the Wall Street Times, is one of the fastest growing entrepreneurs in 2023. He has built and exited multiple companies, mentored thousands of entrepreneurs, has an incredible podcast, something like 48 million plus podcast views. And that is just the tip of the iceberg. But one of the things I love about this man is his heart, his values. The not shortcuts, the not sugarcoat. But let's understand that we're all building something. And we're not building something to have success or to collect accolades. We're doing it to have meaning and to give back and to have it be purpose driven. And I think that that's the best way I can summarize today's guest. And so, without further ado, I want to welcome Stephen at the show. So, Stephen, welcome to the show, my friend.

What's up, buddy? Dude, I can't thank you so much for, like, sharing me with your audience, man. I know, it's funny when you set out to build an audience and you kind of like start to put yourself out there and, you know, a lot of folks think it's, it's it's pretty easy and actually it takes a little time and a lot of work and to see what you, you're already building and creating is just amazing, dude. And I'm super stoked to be here.

Yeah, I, I think you understand better than anybody, like the overnight success. Everyone's like, oh, your podcast is like, I've done almost 700 episodes. 700. And then I'm like, holy moly. And edit. But I love it, though. I. I love it. It's. It's such a gift. And I'm so grateful you're here, man. We, because we got to get you to an airport because you're just constantly on the road building houses to facilitate retreats and help people heal and go speak and go do all this. So I want to, I want to kind of cram it in. But, you know, you and I were talking before the show and you've had the pleasure to probably coach more entrepreneurs than I have at this point. And I was like, stephen, what's the thing that you see all the time that entrepreneurs get wrong when it comes to success? And you dropped a one liner on me that I'm going to like, say, everybody listen to him. Because I say it all the time, but you're going to hear it from somebody else. And so I'd love for you to share what you share with me before the show.

Yeah, absolutely. Did not be. I'd be happy to. You know what's really interesting is there's. Before I share the. That insight, I would tell you there's five things that kind of undergird it. We could talk about that more in a minute. But what I find that entrepreneurs do a lot of, especially the guys and gals that are at the early stages to mid stage, is they're constantly consuming and seldom applying. So in my world, what that means is you're constantly reading the books, you're going to leadership retreats, all of which are great, all of which are important. But then what do you do with the information and the insights and the mentoring and the coaching and stuff like that that you're actually getting, I can tell you, I think you, I think I shared this with you before, but when I work with somebody, if I don't see them actually applying what we're working on and they're held and holding themselves to accountable, I'll fire them as a client. And it's not, it's not even to be rude. It's like, I'm not a. I'm not, I'm not, I'm Not, I'm not wired that way. In fact, I got this young man I've been mentoring off and off for probably five or six years and he's, he's know, went from, it's funny, the first three and a half years of his business, he went from idea to idea to idea, an idea, an idea and analysis. Analysis. I'm like, dude, what are you doing? You know, we, you keep asking me all, you know, what do I do here and what do I do here and what, And I'll give you, I'll give you an example. We were actually on a car ride, this is like a few years ago, heading to Nashville, Tennessee for an event. I was going to let him, we were, you know, we were going to say car rides, you know, hop in the car is the easiest way for me to mentor you. I don't have a lot of time, but if you want to get in the car and drive eight hours with me, then yeah, let's do that. So in the car he, he, he kind of says, he said, he said, well, how do I build a bigger chest? And I'm like, you just do the push ups. Like, you just do some push ups. Like, you know, just get started, right? And he's like, oh, okay. And then 30 minutes goes back. Well, what if I want to build the upper part of my chest right here? I said, still the answer is do some push ups. Well, what if I want to build the underside of my, my, my chest muscle? I'm like, dude, it still do the push ups, you know. And the moral of the story is like, we can keep asking, what's the secret? What's the ninja hack? What's the this, what's the that? And the reality is, is like are you putting in the reps with what you're learning? Because the reps are what's going to tell you whether or not you're actually on track or off track or need to shift one way or the other. And that's where I find that most entrepreneurs are struggling the most. They're spending way too much time in their mind, very seldom in their heart, and very seldom actually applying what they need to be doing on a daily basis. So I know you and I jam on that. That's that something I think we share in common, that belief. And I don't know, it's just what I see works and I, I, I tend to work from that place is like what works.

So yeah, and, and I love it. I want to actually, I want to ask you a question. I've never even talked about on the show because, you know, when you talk about that, that's something not only do I see, but I struggled with as well. And it wasn't until I put a hard boundary in because, like, I basically, like, imploded. But I was like, I made a rule because I heard somebody say, if you're consuming, you're not creating and you're building somebody else's vision. And I was like, whoa. And I was like, okay. And I made a hard rule. I was not a consume for a year. And I ended up going like two and a half years. No books, no. But then it didn't happen overnight. But after like six months, I got so sick and tired, I was like, I'm just gonna create. I did thousands of live videos, thousands of emails, written content, ideas, but I learned so much. And when you were talking about they over consume, I almost see it happening. There's almost like no middle ground. It's either I over consume or I put in all the reps and too many reps, but I never adjust.

Right.

This, this polarity of an extreme. And I'm just curious, in your experience, why, like, what is it? Because I wasn't born with this, right? Like this execution thing. It's like a trained muscle. But I'm curious as to why is it that we live in a market that like, benefits off people consumption now or that.

Yeah.

So many marketers and coaches have taught people it's the only way to learn or knowledge is power. Like, no applied knowledge is power. But I'm just curious what your thoughts are.

Yeah, you know, it's really interesting when you travel, when you're able to travel the world, you know, I've had the pleasure, now you have too, is of getting outside of the United States. And, you know, I've been to places like New Zealand and Ireland and Europe, and we're heading to Greece in October. And you know, when I'm looking at these, one of the things that I see differently is the culture. It shift. The culture itself is different than what we would experience the United States. And what we experienced the United States is early on, as a toddler, you're bombarded with marketing messages, right? Like every day, right. Everything's a brand, right. You can go into your refrigerator right now and open it up and probably see 50 brands, right. Of whatever your favorite thing is. And you bought that brand because someone influenced you to buy that brand. So basically what I'm saying is from an early toddler age until now, we are taught, especially in The American culture, to be a consumer, right? To, to believe that we need something else to be fulfilled and happy. Now, I would say I've learned the hard way that that comes from the inside out, not the outside, in which I know we both share in common. The other thing that I think, you know, I was able, I did a conference, it's called Cree, I think it's called Create Conference. A couple weeks ago, about a month ago, with a good buddy of mine, Ken Joslin, has an amazing conference. It's, it's world class. I'm sorry. It was his mastermind. And this one thing came up that I thought was really, really powerful. We were talking, I forgot it was a small group of entrepreneurs and one of them was, one of the things I was watching them do was consume their capital so they weren't able to grow. So they were buying things to impress other people.

When that same money should have been put in their business to either, you know, strengthen their operations or you create a stronger sales process or a stronger marketing like these, all these different things. And this, this, this word came up in my heart. And I know you and I both are people of faith, so I'll share that. From this perspective.

Most entrepreneurs, or I would say high achievers.

Consume their seed as if it's bread.

Right? So what I mean by that is like you take a tomato, take a cucumber, take an apple, take anything you want to create a more bountiful harvest of, right? Well, if you consume the seeds that are inside that fruit, that vegetable or whatever, and you're just digesting it, you're actually consuming more than what you should know. You should in retrospect, because those seeds can now be planted. Business and building a meaningful life is very much the same way in the grand scheme of things. When you understand and you can just stop for just. And you and I are big on self awareness and like being aligned. If you can just stop in the moment and just say, is this seed or is this bread? Because one of the commitments I made to myself even after this came up was like, I'm going to start asking myself, is this seed or is this bread? Safe haven. The house that you referenced when at the earlier part of the show that I'm now remodeling and trying to get ready for a retreat vibe. It's like I had to ask myself, you know, I can do I go buy another toy that's going to benefit me? You know, I don't know every other weekend or every two or three weekends or whatever, or Do I invest in something that can bring forth not just a prosperous financial blessing in the, in the grand scheme of things, because we do world class events when we do these things, but more importantly, can I change lives? Right. And so I began asking myself, and this is where I, this is where I think entrepreneurs could really lean in here and really listen and just ask themselves before they hire a team member, before they buy a thing, before they invest in this, before they buy another course, curriculum or whatever. Is this seed or is this bread? Because you do need the polarity between gaining new wisdom and knowledge that you don't possess yet. And then you also need the wisdom to know how to start to apply it. So to your point, you can start to measure it. Right. If you're. It's one thing to have. You know, I think we talked about this a little bit when you were on my show. I have this new belief that. And I'll, I'll try to articulate this. That hustle culture must die.

Yes.

Right. And what I mean by that is, I don't mean dropping diligence and not being effective and not having focused intensity. What I'm saying is anxious activity just, I'm just gonna do, you know, so at the end of the day I can say, well, I had a busy day, so therefore I had value.

Yes.

You see what I'm saying? So if you can get to understanding and little, you can look, this, this, I mean that. Honestly, the sea bread thing, like changed my entire mindset. This is like a month ago and it came out of my mouth. I don't need to worry. So I'll say it was a little bit of a divine download. It's like, is this seed or is this bread? Look, have everybody watching or listening right now. Think about the number one thing you've been on the fence of doing within your business, whether it's personally, whether it's team structure, whether it's systems or process. And just take that one thing and look at it holistically, Take a step back and say, is this seed or is this bread? In other words, am I going to eat this and consume it knowing I'm not getting much in return or anything in return? Or am I going to actually get a seed planted over here that's going to give me more in the future? I'll shut up. I got one more thing I want to share real fast and I'll hush up for a second. Seven figure entrepreneurs, and before. So, five, six, you know, four, five, six, seven. Right. Are all focused on creating revenue Yep. Okay. Eight figure, nine figure and beyond entrepreneurs are all focused on compounding. Okay? So what that means is I take a seven figure entrepreneur. He's like, hey, man, I've been at $650,000 a year now. I'm using an example of an entrepreneur that's been doing it. He's been doing it for four or five years. He's got a great business, but he's been literally at the same level for, you know, call it, I think it was like three and a half or four years.

We finally had this conversation like, dude, where are you investing your time, your talent and your resources? By the way, resources isn't just financial resources, also people.

Right? And we began to break that apart. He's like, he goes, dude, he goes, I'm the bottleneck, aren't I? I said, in this particular situation, yeah, but I've also been there. Just so you know, this is a natural per. This is a natural progression in becoming an elite achiever or an elite entrepreneur is awareness of the fact that you are often. We are often the bottlenecks.

Yeah.

So I'm like, okay, what are the three things you need to shift? And now what are the three seeds you need to plant today in water and steward for the next six months? Right. To get xyz. So we came up with his three. He turned around, he's going to break seven figures for the first time this year. Now keep in mind, he had been stuck literally like just over 650,000 around that, around that for what, three and a half, almost four years, banging his head against the wall. And what we discovered was, is he was consuming a lot of what he needed to plant in order to grow.

Yep.

Right. So an eight figure beyond, you know, time, talent, resource. How do I compound that? When you and I hang out for an hour, you and I, we always get three hours of benefit for the one hour we hang out with 100%. Right. Brotherhood, wisdom, knowledge, bouncing stuff back and forth. Like relationships should be like that. For every dollar you put out, you need to get three in return. For every hour you invest, you need to get three in return. For every relationship you create, you need to get three in return. You know, somebody that's going to be like the, the friend capacity, the work capacity, the mentor capacity, et cetera, you know, so that's where I really, that's where my heart is. And you know, what I've discovered is there's really five constraints that keep people there. Yeah. And we can get into that when you want to, but at the end of the day, my main concept that's in my heart today, that's got me a little bit on fire. I can't help myself a little bit is asking everybody, listening and watching, are you consuming or are you sowing? In other words, is it seed or is it bread?

Yeah.

Once you can get clear on that, all of a sudden you're like, you start investing the right places, you start consuming in the right places.

Yep.

But you can't be all consuming and you can't be all planting. So you have to constantly be asking yourself, is it seed or is it bread?

I. I love it. I'm going to summarize before we get into the constraints, because like, this is. I had this conversation three times today on coaching calls. And you know, when we talk about earlier this consumer society, I think a byproduct of that is also this instant gratification or dopamine hit that we get, which is we consume. We're getting a short term perceived benefit for a long term cost. And even, even biblically, for me, I remember it's like the first one always goes to God, but my default is. But like, I've worked so hard. Like, I just want to take a break. Like, I just want this thing. Right. And it's this. Your point? It's this constant gardening of my life and these seeds that I'm planting, right. I'm like, oh, I could go, you know, eat 17 chocolate chip cookies later or I could have one and go for a walk and like, you know, benefit from all this work that I've done. And you know, I'm just curious what your thoughts are on this because I.

Realized for me, the amount of times that I became the constraint, I didn't understand the power in that. Now I look to find the places where I'm constrained, like where I'm getting in the way. But I was unpacking this earlier today in a conversation and I was like, number one is like, we don't know what we don't know. So those outside perspectives, you know, getting coaching, having a conversation shifts that perspective. But also I was asking myself why. And what I realized underneath it is I was almost afraid to become the person to have that responsibility because, like, at each one of those levels, it's no longer just me.

And I.

Right. I have team members that rely on me, I have other families that rely on me. And there was almost this like, unconscious avoidance because of that responsibility. Right. Because like the bigger your garden, the more you have to tend to it, the more you have to protect it, you have to do that. And so it was just a really interesting thing that I noticed. Have you. Have you seen that or does that resonate with you?

Oh, a thousand percent. I think the. What's really interesting about what you just described is one of the things that I've. This is part of what I do, why I do it now, right? So we're both in a position where we do what we do to help other people because we love it, right. It's. It's not something that's required to survive or thrive even. Like, I actually would make more money investing my time, energy and resources in other asset classes like real estate or, you know, metals or like any number of things. Right. And to get, to get a personal brand going and to get out there, it cost a lot of money. Yeah. On it. And just being. That's before you. If and when you run ads or whatever. So I say that. To say that one of the things that I accepted over the last five years that you just alluded to is this concept of. And you actually kind of. You actually kind of started the show with this in a kind of funny way, is like literally every Jedi eventually becomes a Jedi Master, right? But the, the distance between being a Jedi and a Jedi Master, so much is facing inner self, right? And that's where those five constraints come in. So this is a perfect place for me to kind of bring these up. So statistically, they would say that the, the top five reasons businesses fail and they. And they rotate year over year, but they're basically the same 5 is lack of sales, lack of leadership, lack of funding, gosh, marketing channel, product fit, like a bunch of external stuff, right?

But when I go back and look at my specific journey, right, of taking my first company from homelessness up, you know, upwards of nine, close to nine figures. And before I exited, like, that stuff was tactically true, but it wasn't influentially true. And what I mean by that is there's things that influence those things to happen that actually start with you as the entrepreneur, Right. And if you can you take. Well, because we're all on a Star wars kick, for fun, we'll. We'll use young Luke Skywalker, right? So Luke Skywalker, he stares at a dual sunset most evenings. And he just had. He just knows in his heart that his life is bigger than Tatooine, right? He just, he just, he just knows it, right? He doesn't. And he's. And he's anxious and he's rambunctious and he's both full of wonder and awe and full of insecurity. Like, it's the constant dynamic of a hero.

Right?

We're here, you know, following the hero's journey arc, right? So obviously. So he comes out, he meets his first mentor. His mentor gives him some ideas and concepts. At that point in time, it's like, does he apply it? You know, and so you start watching the same journey, but what you see him go through. And I. And this is. And it's funny, we're using him as an example. This was my journey because every single dumb decision I ever made in business came from a moment of emotional dysregulation.

Yes.

Right. So, okay, so if I understand that one concept, which means you're reacting to situations or circumstances rather than responding to situations or circumstances, and the only step between the two is what's called grounding, Getting regulated, getting centered, all this kind of like, you can call it centered, you call it grounding, call it whatever. But it's. It's. Okay.

Let me just be still for a minute, right? Maybe you go for a walk sometimes I'll run in here and jump in the lake, or I'll get a walk out here in this beautiful grass I have out here. Or I'll stop and just stop and read a book. Or I'll just stop and be still and be present.

Right?

All in all, the concept here is understanding what drives emotional dysregulation from my perspective based as it relates to achieving and entrepreneurship. And so there are really five constraints that I've come up with that literally, when I went back and looked at my entire journey, it's like, if I can get my arms around these and improve. Improve these on a routine basis, I can build pretty much anything, right? And. And this. This is held true. So this is where this. This is me going backwards to see, okay, what did I had to overcome to get here now, what I need to do next to go there right now. And the first one is arrogance.

Okay?

Arrogance for me is when you're so excited about your previous wins that you think you can't fail and fail from a place of. That you think that you can always win. And the first thing you're gonna. And it doesn't matter if you come out of the gate and you're busting it, you're selling a bazillion of your widgets or whatever, you are going to hit a threshold in a season where you're gonna dip, right? And then it comes down to, am I making decisions in faith, or am I Making decisions in fear. Right. The second constraint that I've discovered is ignorance. Right? Now, ignorance comes in two forms, and ignorance can be tied to arrogance in one form. So one form is, hey, I've got somebody giving me insights and wisdom. I'm not listening. I'm choosing not to listen. Right. That's, it's, it's an actual choice. It's like, what does he know? He's only built 10 companies differently, you know, that, that I want to build. Like, what does he like? That kind of thing. Right. It's. You know, the worst lie you can tell yourself as an achiever, as an entrepreneur is, I know myself better than anybody else. That is not true. You know your intentions. They know you by your actions.

Yes.

And seldom do they align until you do the work. Okay, well, that is a form of ignorance. Another form of ignorance is not knowing what you need to know to take the next step. So I'll give you an example. Let's say you're at 300,000 on top line revenue and you're seeing all kinds of, like, customer service issues. They're bumping up everywhere. Okay. What most of us do is we just continue putting out fires for the rest of our lives or for months on end or years on end, rather than slowing down long enough to say, hey, guess what? Maybe if I just take a step back, actually go and interview my. Go and interview these clients, figure out what their bottlenecks are, figure out what the problems are, then go back to my organization and spend some time on the fundamentals of, of creating what we call a fulfillment machine. Right now I can. Now I can kind of move forward, but if I'm not seeking the insight, I'm not going to find the insight.

Right?

So we got arrogance, ignorance. Okay. And you, you and I talked about this on your. When you're on my show, because I. We know. We jammed on this. The third one that I love so much is what's called impatience. Yes, I did, I did this just recently. I was at an event. I was speaking. I don't know, it's maybe a th. Maybe close to a thousand or whatever in, in attendance. And I said by a show of hands, because a complete entrepreneur environment, even sweet seat professionals are actually in the environment. By a show of hands, how many of you think you should be further along than you actually are? Literally, dude, I kid you not. Every single hand went up.

Yep.

Right. So here's then. And I've been this person. So here's what I've discovered to combat impatience, you Combat impatience by presentness.

Yes.

What if we could just be present in today, create enough leverage for today to begin to shape tomorrow, rather than be so focused on tomorrow. 5 years, 10 years, 3 years, 20 years, dude. The best you can probably actually forecast and see is probably close to 12 to 18 months before it's all going to shift again anyway. Right now you can. It's good to have the three year objective and the five year objective. It's good to have the objectives, but their objectives that are heavily influenced based on the decisions and the actions and stuff you take today.

It's, it's a, it's the definition of a critical. A critical term, right? So it's like if I make this decision today, either grounded or not grounded, regulated, not regulated, it's going to send me this direction or this direction. And you know, you don't have to spend the next six months, you know, getting anchored and stuff and coming back just to get the baseline to then try to go again. Or I can choose to slow down, be more present, actually pay attention, listen to my clients, listen to my team, listen to my soul, right? And then make it and make a decision moving forward. You know, all of these things are super important. And I think that's when we get to the, the 4th and 5th and I'll just, just not take up too much time. The fourth main constraint that I'm seeing a lot of more than anything else is insecurity followed by fear. Okay?

Every dumb decision I made in hiring people came from a place of insecurity. Every dumb decision I made in keeping people came from fear. If I let them go, who's going to fulfill the role? Right. In both cases, when God forced me to confront those things head on, I hired better. Therefore I didn't have to fire as often. Yep, right. And now you've got a team. And let's face it, I mean, one of the other, this is kind of a bottleneck. This is a bit of a bonus constraint. Is it related to attitude? Like, how are you actually going into your day? You know, are you going in with the intention of building or operating? And what I want people to do is I want them to start building. Because if you think in terms of building, you know, that one step leads to another step, leads to another step, needs for another step. Rather than going in like we talked about a second ago, which is anxious energy, just go in. I don't know, I'm gonna go in, I'm gonna throw myself at my day, I'm gonna go home, my partner's gonna say what happened today? And you're like, I don't freaking know. You see what I'm saying? Like, there's a difference in, like, really honoring yourself by honoring how you shape your day, by honoring how you shape your vision, your commitments. And again, back to seed and bread all over again. Sorry, I didn't mean to go off on a tangent.

No, I, I love your tangent, brother. I could listen to you all day. I just. It's. Whenever we do dinner, we just need like a six hour reservation.

Right.

I. I want to say those five again. And then I actually want to highlight two specific things that you said that I want you to. I want you to kind of harp on. So it's arrogance was one, ignorance was the next, and impatience was the third. Insecurity was the fourth, and fear was the fifth and correct. I wanted to highlight those for everybody listening because when you were sharing those and framing those, there were two specific things that I think are so valuable and important that I preach on all the time, but I also fall victim and forget them all the time. And you said all the bad decisions that were made were from emotional dysregulation. Right. Reacting instead of responding from not training wedge, as Scott Carney calls it. And the second thing that you said when you were framing those five, you're like, these are the things that I have to steward every day. I think one of the mistakes that I see that I've fallen victim to, that I don't anymore, is that there's a finish line to these, that there's this, oh, I did it and I checked it off. And so can you expand on those two? Because hearing it from you is extremely powerful.

Yeah, absolutely. So I would say that I'll start with the. The last one first, because I think it's important with no finish line.

For some reason. And maybe it's. Maybe it's American culture in general where we're taught that if we can, if we just get enough stuff, we'll feel free, we'll feel whatever.

That.

That somehow gives us a predisposition.

Predisposition.

Yeah, predisposition. That essentially that eventually I'm going to be good.

Yep.

Right. And I would tell you that I think I'll share with you this, with you as a brother, that one of my most depressing moments is when I actually had the most stuff. I had more money, I could do whatever. I could do whatever I wanted to. And I was completely unhappy. Right. Because I didn't, I wasn't, I didn't have the The, The. The. The folks I wanted to do it with, right? And the reason I say that is because when it comes down to understanding there's no finish line. What if the objective of life was not to get to a finish line, but instead see how much you can create?

Yeah.

Like what, what if it. What if it was about.

You know, the divine create? I think that's one of the reasons I think this is me being silly. But I think one reason God created humanity is he. Like, I want to see what they can do. Like, I want to. I want to see what somebody fully committed is fully resolute and fully resilient. All this kind of stuff can do to create on their own aspects. I'll also share with you that this idea of, well, I can beat arrogance 100. I can beat insecurity 100, dude, I've done pretty well, and my girlfriend's even reminded me on multiple occasions recently, goes, you don't have to do another freaking thing. You've already done the impossible once or more times. You don't have. You have nothing to prove. Now if you want to go create because you want to create and you want to, you know, you want to help and serve, she goes, that's one thing. She goes. But she's, you know, she's been really on me about making sure that I'm not stepping into force, but staying in flow. You know, the home that I'm in now that we're currently renovating for safe haven, for example, I had an opportunity to. Well, I say I had multiple opportunities, but I was going to make an offer on the house, and I was going to make an offer at $200,000 more than what I ended up making the offer on later. And this is where understanding there's no finish line is, Is. Is. Is important because if you feel like there's a finish line, you're always forcing yourself to get to the finish line, right? But if you're flowing to the finish line, it's like being on the ski boat, because I just started taking up boat surfing basically.

And I had this epiphany yesterday. I'm on the boat, and I'm gonna tie these together, but I'm on the boat. We're going out. And for the first, I don't know, three trips, I had a really hard time just getting out of the water, right? And staying out of the water. And what, what changed yesterday or the day before yesterday when we all went out is I would go on the boat. I. They, you know, I get up out of the water. I'm getting good at that. And there was this moment where the wave is up here, and I'm at the top corner of the wave, where historically that would make me fall. Fall straight down into the water. Instead, I just dug my hill in a little bit and literally slid flow. And then I was able to kind of like, flow back and forth. I even put a. A story up on Instagram about it yesterday. The reason I say that is, even with this house, when I went to my girlfriend, I was like, I want to say, hey, this is what I'm thinking about doing, because she owns a brokerage, and real estate's her world, and, you know, I want to get her advice. And she's super deep and wise in general, so. And she's like. She goes, I. I don't know. I'm just telling you. Intuitive. I feel like you should wait. I feel like. She goes, I literally feel like you're forcing it. I'm like, but I don't want to lose the house. I'm just telling you. I just feel like you. You do. You boo. But, you know, whatever, right? So I'm like, okay, cool. So I. So I listen for the first time, which I'm not normally good about doing, right? And I. And I sit down. Like, two weeks goes by, and the seller's agent calls us.

Okay? The sales agent calls us, said, we really want to do a deal with you. We have another offer on the table. Are you sure you don't want to make an offer? And I'm like, look, I'm not really in a position to make an offer just yet. I got this other property I'm trying to get sold, blah, blah, blah. She goes, well, we'll come out and see you guys today. So my agent come out. We were actually come up. We're actually upstairs. And lo and behold, I was like, look, here's my situation. I got a property in Utah. I'm still working on getting sold. You know, I want the house. I'd rather roll my equity because I can pay, almost pay for the house, that kind of thing. And we. She goes. She goes, what if we got creative? I'm like, what do you mean creative? Right? And lo and behold, we go through the scenario where I saved $230,000.

Because the deal came to me. I didn't go after the deal. It doesn't mean I didn't want the deal. It just means I chose to sit still, be present, and see what God brought. Because the house I was going to buy before this One was about half of the total experience this house is. You see what I'm saying? So it's like if you're always rushing to the finish line, you're going to miss the subtle road turn or road signs that say, God is saying, no, I want you to go this way. But, but, but this looks so cool. Like, I, this looks amazing. Let me go do this. I mean, God's like, just trust me. Another super quick example with the same, same just trust me philosophy is my girlfriend was here for the, for the week or whatever, and so she just left, literally before I hopped on this podcast to go back to her place in Greenville. And I remember I was actually sitting with her and we were upstairs and I was, I was like, I'm so grateful that God didn't let me go this way.

Right? And I wanted to go this way so bad. I was so convinced that this is the way. And I just remember hearing my. We're on the. I just remember hearing my soul. This is why I asked you to trust me, right? And, and there's beauty for things in trust, but you can't get things in trust if you're constantly in motion. You know what I'm saying? So, so that's kind of a long winded example of why I think that not having a finish line is a beneficial thing. Because it's not that you're not going to have milestones. You can have things you, you want to seek, but you also be open minded enough to kind of experience that. And I think on the flip side of that, when it comes down to this emotional dysregulation piece.

I would tell you that I, on at least seven occasions, that I can count, that I could literally count with my hands, me making a decision out of emotional dysregulation.

Probably cost me somewhere between $300,000 to $2 million in each instance. Okay? And it also goes down to being in a rush.

You see what I'm saying? So that it's like the finish, because I think the finish line is here. I'm rushing, therefore I'm missing the road signs. I'm missing the road signs. Therefore I have anxious energy entrapped inside the body and the mind and the soul. I can't get centered, I can't get clear. And because I can't get clear, I'm just making impulsive decisions.

That impulsivity cost you time, energy, money, team, clarity, direction. And ultimately, if you can't, and this is why I love what you do so much and why, and why you And I think you and I jam as well as we do as brothers is because we've both been pushed and under uncovered the hard way that you've got to slow it down to speed it up. And if you can't slow it down to speed it up, you're always going to be on the rat wheel. You're never going to have peace, you're never going to have fulfillment. You're going to lose your family and those that you love along the way because you're so engrossed in doing this and trying to get to the finish line. And what? Well, when I get here. Well, when I get here, then I'll pay attention. When I get here, I'll pay attention. When I get here, I'll pay attention. When I get here, I'll pay attention to my body. When I get here, I'll pay attention to my health. When I get. Dude, it is so easy to get lost, like, lose yourself along the way without slowing things down. And I know I. Again, I know I went on a bit more of a tangent, but. And I don't know if there's a lot there that the audience can really grab onto with the exception of slow things down to pick things up.

Well, I think I'd submit that there's something in there for everybody that probably resonated deeply because you made a point that I was going to make. Where I think what's neglected the most is everyone's understanding that we tend to sacrifice ourselves and by the time we catch it, it's too late. And what it's cost us is almost unrecoverable at that. Right.

I. I actually love hearing it from you because, you know, regardless of the worldly accolades, you know, they speak to embodying this and, and taking this in. And I love the highlight of presence because I feel like, you know, it's weird going back now thinking about when I was a Marine for 13 years, because my whole life was chaos. But at the same time, we were meticulous in presence and training. It wasn't like, oh, I'm checking a box, like, you could be sleep deprived, whatever, but like, there was a standard that we were forced to hold. But that standard was really about presence because that's the only thing that allows you the awareness to understand what the next best step is. Because we don't know. You're going into so many unknown situations. And you know, to your previous point earlier, like, we would war game a hundred times, one situation, and we're like, we don't know which One. If any of these will happen, any inclination of them does. It doesn't create a reaction. It creates a pause and a piece to notice.

Yeah.

Right. And I think that that's the piece of, like, noticing, because I did it right? Like, the. The books, the accolades, the boom. And then I ended up realizing that I was a victim of my own world. Like, I felt like I was, like, observing my life and, like, what am I doing? Like, yeah, there's nothing baked in here. Right. Like, I was a dad, except my son doesn't have any memories of me in those moments because I wasn't in it with him. I was physically there. Like, my body was there.

Yeah.

Nothing else was there. And then it was. That was the big catalyst shift for me is like, yeah. When he starts asking questions or making comments of like, no doubt, I asked you. And I was like, you do? Oh, oh. And like, that level of presence, I feel like it's almost. Because it's like, maybe I'll label it, like, it's fluffy or it's not fun. And you even alluded to this when you were speaking. Well, I'll start doing that when I make the money. I'll start doing that when I achieve this thing. Except we as human beings, if that's an avoidant tactic, always move that finish line because, oh, when I make a million, you're like, actually, it's like gambling. Maybe I'll do it at 2 million now. Maybe I'll do it 4 million now. Yeah. And by the time you catch it, the amount of damage or collateral damage that's been done, it's almost like you have to reset the whole thing again to learn the lesson. And so that landed deeply for me.

Deeply for me.

I have a. I have a question, like, because I love this concept and like, the way that you talk about high achieving and being in flow versus force and even talking about earlier, like, killing hustle culture. Right. It's not just doing to be busy and expel energy. It's being and then intentionally stewarding. Right. And so, yeah, when we think about this, like, high achieving, I've bumped into people like, oh, I'm just gonna sit back and be and flow. And like, well, no, if you're, like, sitting in your basement staring at the wall.

Yeah.

Like, yeah. I actually had a pastor say it better than ever. Better than ever. And it landed for me as an entrepreneur. And he's like, put your hand up if you pray. Everyone's like, oh, yeah, Like, I pray. It's like, how many of you have like prayed for things, Right. And they're like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's like, okay, cool. How many of you have actually left the house to show up to church to get those prayers answered? And they're all like, haha. He's like, because sometimes you don't realize most of your prayers are answered by people on two feet. But never put yourself in the situation because you're isolating.

Yeah.

Or you're staying in. Or you're just being. And so how do you like, you coach so many people? You do this yourself?

Yeah.

I feel like it's a razor thin line between that, like, hustle culture and like intentional being. Like being a high achiever and wanting to achieve things, but then also flow. Like, how do you see that?

Yeah. Well, I'm going to do one, one thing. And I'll come back to that for a second, quick second. First of all, I want to, I want to acknowledge everyone watching and listening that feels a very strong tug in their heart as if they should be doing it or could be doing it better. Okay. A reason I want to do that is because so many times what prevents us from changing is the shame and guilt we had we are attaching to the current moment. Not realizing that so much is shifting forward is simply a choice and you know, a choice with intention.

So I want to do that and I also want to, I wanted to come back, come back to that concept. I was. This is probably a decade ago, right? So I'd started my transformational journey coming out of, you know, not not being a toxic business owner, but not being the best business owner. I mean, I, I mean I was, dude, I didn't graduate high school and I'm building a multi million dollar company, right? And I'm hiring people that have CPA and cf, you know, CF all these different, you know, like, I didn't know what half that stuff meant. Right. And I never forget this. I go through this major transformational moment. Ironically, it was a Ramsey, a Dave Ramsey event. It was a business one. I had been getting into them and their team for quite a while. And so I go to this event. I'm in a, I'm in a crowd, a crowd of people. There's like six or seven hundred people there. I got three of my senior leaders there in the, in the room with me. And I've been busting my. But trying to make changes like change me. Reading, praying, studying, C conferences, all this kind of stuff. And I'll never forget. And this is, this goes to what I was just sharing I'll never forget this. They. I had the fortunate pleasure in that moment. This is before I got to know Dave and Sharon at all. But of being. Having the ability to ask. I think it was. He was on stage. I think Patrick Lione was on stage. I think Jim, Jim Collins was on stage. So good to great. Five dysfunctions of a team. Dave Ramsey and then was one of his other senior leaders there. And the thing that was on my heart was. And I, I just. It came, it came, came from that flow moment, right? It's like the question I got to ask Dave was Dave, I don't, I don't know what to do, man. I'm, I'm doing all the things like I'm really committed to change. I'm really committed to intention. I'm not getting the results. I have team members in this room that I still don't believe that what I'm attempting to accomplish is true. What do I. I don't know what to do. And of course at that time I was very emotional, so my voice is quivering and stuff like that. And this is. This. I'm. I'm. I'm dropping the seed because I want this to sow in everybody's heart. I promise I'll come back to what you asked me. Dave said, brother, I think you just need to give yourself grace.

Whatever problems and circumstances that you had that led you to this place of where you. The catalyst of transformation, whether it be a year, five years, six months or whatever.

So much of external. The exhibition of external transformation where other people can see, it takes time.

Right? It takes time, it takes months, could take a year. The, the tricky part and what the grace allows you to be consistent.

Right? So the grounding prepares the way. The presentness creates the idea. The clarity. Direction comes and now you can be present in the moment. So I want to bring that full circle because I think it plays into the process.

To answer your question, in the simplest form, how you start each and every day will be how you'll finish each and every day. Okay, so I'll give you Stephen before grounding and Stephen after grounding. Stephen before grounding would wake up. I would check my phone immediately. I would get my gym bag. I would boogie off to the gym. Maybe I'm listening to a podcast or something at the gym or while I'm there working out, I would get my workout in. I would. I personally would shower. I've just showered the gym, throw on whatever clothes I was going to go and then I would literally go straight into my day. Okay, no breathing room, no margin, no nothing. Stephen Post in Inner Work, Inner Healing. And guys, if you're, if you're big macho dudes, like, just get over yourself. Just get over yourself. You've got stuff that happened to you when you were young that you're probably pushed out of your brain. You got limiting beliefs that are there, there are insecurities there that maybe you're scared to let people know about. That's one of the things that George and I are cool with because we, like, we love each other's brother. So it's like, hey, dude, this is what I'm feeling today. Like, I got you, bro. You know that you, you, you can't get, you can't get the brotherhood until you step into a brotherhood, right? So, you know, so each and every day now starts like this. I. My alarm goes off at whatever time. Typically on a normal week, it's between 5:30 and 6. I start with, the very first thing I do is I take a few deep breaths and I say, I am healthy, I am wealthy, I am wise, I'm a steward of the most high, and I love you, Steven.

And I say that three to four times consistently every morning. And the reason is, is because some of the best love you'll ever get is the love you give yourself, right? If you want to become a well rounded husband, father, mother, girlfriend, boyfriend, professional in the workplace, whatever, you will cause the least amount of damage when you love yourself with the most amount of abundance. You know what I'm saying? So that process started something new and for six months straight, and I was telling, I think I shared this with you on when you were on my show briefly. I began a process that I, that I encourage everybody to at least try for, for 30 days and, and just wake up. You can borrow my mantra. I'll say it again. I am healthy, I am wealthy, I am wise, I'm a steward of the most high, and I love you. And insert your name. Okay, you're setting your intention about. I'm going to show up today. All right. I will then ask myself, lord, give me somebody that I can, that I can actually be of service to today. And that might be, it might be. The Uber driver is going to pick me up in 15 minutes or 20 minutes, right? It might be you and I hanging out on a call or us texting back and forth when we've had a long week or whatever, or, you know, it might be my girlfriend or something, but there's somebody.

That you're uniquely qualified to touch each and every day, if you're, if you're present and you're open to it, and somehow when you're present and open to that and you get to, you get to touch that life in whatever way that is somebody else along across your path, either that day or a couple days later, that touches your life and it keeps the evolution of a transformation going by collaboration. Right.

The next thing I'll do after that, after I ask for that gift of service, is historically, I will jot. I'll grab a. I, I've been doing it in my iPhone now. I was doing. Literally, I, I suggest everybody do it. Paper and pen. I want you to grab a physical journey. In fact, look.

Here'S mine right here, okay? And.

I have a process that I start with.

And at top of every day, at today's date, and then I, and I write this one sentence. What I hear you say is.

When you do that and you, and you write that sentence and then you sit and wait for something to be heard because you're not hearing with your ears, because it's typically quiet. There may or may not be people up. Whatever you're. You're listening with your soul. And so much of what needs to happen around you is actually locked up inside of you. And only that divine voice can unlock that, whisper that to then come out on the paper. So I'll, I'll share with you that. I think the very first time I did it, I had a massive spiritual moment. I could have brought a man, Henry Amar, who I need to connect you with, actually with.

Took me into a meditation thing that I was part of his little inner circle. His. I say it was a tight knit group of like six or eight, eight people. And we did a meditation. It was like six minutes long, light music, just kind of like relaxed. Doing some box breathing, by the way. Big tough guys. If the elite special forces of pretty much every major special forces does box breathing to get themselves under control, there's a symptom, there's a sign. Yeah, right. The elites of the elite use box breathing. All right, side note, back to my story. I, I'll drive that, that, that, you know, I, we do the meditation. He, he says, okay, now I just want you to jot down whatever comes up, you know, right now, jot down this little paragraph. And I'm like, man, that's pretty profound. I go through a significant life event that I wasn't expecting. This is like August of last year.

Pull the journal out. And I just, I said, I wonder if. And I put what I hear you say is.

And I sat there for probably. Probably two minutes maybe. There were. Some mornings I sat there for 10.

Some.

One. Some morning. Some mornings I literally just started writing. I barely got the sentence out right.

The moral of the story is, is you can't hear or listen for what you're not actually listening for.

And sometimes I would get. One word would come out, I would write one word, and then the next word would form itself, and then the next. And then I would have a sentence, and then that sentence would form the next sentence, and that sentence would form the next paragraph. And that paragraph, dude, some days I had three or four pages of stuff, and then I would go back and read it and was like. It was literally like I was.

It was literally like God was talking directly to me for me, based on what he was trying to say to me. There were things about my future in there. There were things about my past in there. There were things about my present state in there. There were things that needed to be shifted. There were things that needed to be let go of. There were things that needed to come up. And I would dare say I'm probably the most present I have ever been. And, you know, you and I share this in common, too. Like if. If I'm with my girlfriend for a. A window of time, I'm with her. If I'm focused on a client's project, I'm focused on a client's project. If I'm working one on one with an entrepreneur or an achiever, I'm working one on one with you. You get my undivided attention. And old Stephen wouldn't have done that. Old Stephen would have dings and beings and all kinds of distractions. And what I learned, I learned this from Rory Vaden, because this all comes down to starting your day with keeping yourself in mind. If it's you and the divine for the first hour of your day, every day, I promise you, everything after that, within six months will drill ass look drastically different, be drastically transformed, and be drastically moving a direction that you actually feel inspired to create and go after. Okay, if you're good, if you just wake up and get to your day, just then you're going to get burned out. You going to stay overwhelmed. You're going to be completely misaligned. Which is another reason why we created the alignment tool to kind of figure that out. Like, so you don't have. You're like, oh, I. You can actually see, am I aligned? If. Okay, at what stage am I aligned? Right. We. I call it the Integrated Alignment Method. It's an acronym for it. We don't have time to jump into today. But if you can understand that this distraction creates dilution of success or fulfillment, then you understand that what needs to happen is the elimination of distraction. And the easiest way to eliminate distraction for me was to start my day by focusing on the moments of quietness and stillness and presentness. You know, I walk on the grass almost every day now. Right. And now, obviously, studies show that walking on the grass in the first light of the sunlight and all this kind of. You know, Gary Brecker talks a lot about it now.

Yeah.

And I don't. I don't want to be an echo chamber, but be dog on if it doesn't work. You know what I'm saying? So another long way to answer. But that's. That's kind of my heart behind what you said.

So it's. It's kind of like. Because there's an Uber driver who are you're. I can't wait for you to text me later. Whatever conversation happens with Uber, because I know it's coming.

Yeah.

That you're going to serve into. It's. It's really a perfect place to land the plane. Because I really. All I can say is me, too. And even in my current life, because everyone on the podcast knows, like, I'm navigating a divorce and co parenting and doing it with love. It's the days and the moments where I get a wrench thrown in that. That caused the most dysregulation and distraction. And instead of starting the day like that, it's like I'm trying to fight the whole day to get back to that.

Yep.

And it's this discipline that comes early with what I said of that responsibility. And I love the way that you say it because on this podcast all the time, I say we all spend the most amount of time avoiding the one relationship or guaranteed to spend the rest of it with, which is ourselves.

Yeah.

And the way that you articulated that is so profound. And I can just say thank you for the reminder and permission slip and invitation and gentle brotherly love kick in the shins of like, Yep.

Bumps. Got some sweat stains on my back right now in a very cold basement. And I was like, all right, heard God heard. Holy spirit, like, activated. And I think for everybody listening as we. As we land this because we had to get Steven to a trip, I think the invitation, like I say quite frequently, but he said this for you. The one thing that I want to call out because I started Crying when you said it is the grace. Right. Like we are so hard on ourselves. False barometers that don't really exist.

Yeah.

And how you treat yourself and how you see yourself is the difference between being reactive and responsive. Because all of it, I look at us and I'm like, God's just letting us figure it out. But not once has he ever said do it with shame or do it with blame.

It's because he wants you to have the experience of the transformation.

Yes.

It's like, it's, that's why he doesn't just jump in and fix stuff.

Yes.

He's like, this doesn't. If I just jumped in and fixed it, I'm not keeping my own justice at play by allowing you to grow. Everything that God creates, everything.

Grows. Yeah, it's, it's, it's a, it's an, it's an innate law wrapped up in the divine heart, if you will. And the one thing is that with the grace piece and, and here's. And here we started the show with this. I want to kind of like ended the show.

First of all, if someone wants to get more insight and information on where they stand, they can go to stevenscoggins.com backslash alignment and it's Stephen with a P H. So S T-E P-H-E-N-S C-O-G-G G-I-N-S.com I got a weird last name, Backslash alignment. And there's a free tool that I'm not selling anything that it's just like there for you to benefit from, but it'll help you understand and you get. There's a 30 page PDF that comes with it that gives you the, the integrated alignment method to begin, to begin this integration process which will be very.

In alignment with you because that's how we, that's how we roll. But that being said.

If you on the other end of this video or this audio heard something in that nature that says you need to slow down, to speed up, you need to be more. Come more present, to become more persistent. Like if, if there's something in that narrative, whether that's grace or whether it's what I heard you say is or whether it's the mantra or whatever.

The trick is is are you going to consume it and move on? Are you going to use it as a seed and build upon it? Right? And that's where the challenge, we open the show with the whole like, are you a consumer or are you a builder? You know what I'm saying. So that would be my. My challenge to everybody listening or watching is like, look, I'm doing this stuff every day. Still. Like, still to this day, because I'm like this. It's. It's not just because it works. It just feels aligned. And until your mind, body, and soul are aligned, you won't be able to be effective and you'll always be burnt out. Right. So do you consume today's word, or do you apply today's word?

I. I could, like, literally thank you for ending my show for me. You just did it in the best way and included the link. So for everybody listening, I'm going to have everything linked in the show notes. I'll have his podcast. I'll have the podcast I did with Stephen, but also specifically, and I would say if I had the ability to jump through your laptop and lovingly kick you in the shins, I would highly recommend you go check out that alignment tool, run it through, and I'll be the broken record. Like, to Steven's point, don't allow this to become shelf help. Right? The difference is, like, hearing it now is the invitation to put it into action and practice. And I also appreciate your humility and authenticity of once you start, it's to maintain it and to do it consistently. There is no finish line in any of this. And so, brother, I thank you for coming on. We got to get you in an Uber. We're going to get you to your next trip. We'll. We'll do this again for sure. But thank you for gracing us. Thank you for sharing. Thank you for touching me personally today and being so open and vulnerable and also just willing to give and serve. Like, I appreciate it, man.

Sincerely, brother, I love you, man. I really appreciate the opportunity to serve and then be.

For everybody listening, it's been another episode of the Mind and George Show. We might look like twins, but, you know, we're totally different. So make sure you check out Stephen, make sure you remember to love yourself, and make sure you remember that relationships will always beat algorithms. And the most important one that we nailed today is the one with yourself. So give yourself space, give yourself grace, give yourself love, and stop eating the bread and start planting the seeds. So we will either see you in the next episode or you will hear me in your earballs, but either way, we're out.