In this personal self‑help video, coach Tameka Anderson shares how imposter syndrome is constructed brick by brick across five life domains: childhood, peers, work, community, and education. She opens with her own struggle of hiding behind perfectionism—deleting videos, over‑editing, and fearing judgment—illustrating how concealment limits opportunities. She then recounts specific formative experiences: a foster‑care childhood where early praise on stage clashed with a foster mother’s dismissive criticism; constant comparison to peers at networking events; a toxic workplace where a chief technical officer publicly devalued her, reinforcing self‑doubt; feeling racially out‑of‑place in private schools as a Black woman; and an educational system that failed to accommodate her ADHD despite high intelligence. Each story serves as a “brick” that builds the imposter syndrome gap between who she believes she is and who she thinks the world expects. Anderson invokes the example of Jesus’ unwavering self‑knowledge to illustrate the power of knowing one’s identity. She concludes by launching a 90‑day challenge—short daily videos and a weekly longer video without filters—to model authentic showing up, and invites viewers to follow, subscribe, and book coaching for deeper work on imposter syndrome.
Chapters
I was in her office, and he was like, "Why are you here? You're nothing." PTSD. So day one of me showing up scared because hiding has cost me opportunities, clients, and confidence. If you've ever avoided social media or video because you're scared of judgment, this is for you. I cannot tell you how many times I've deleted videos because I was overthinking. Re-recorded because it just wasn't perfect enough, and just paid other people to edit videos that I still didn't publish. I'm sitting here like, okay, what is happening? What is going on here? Watching other people post and grow their accounts and their businesses. Meanwhile, I'm sitting over here looking like. So, I have a confession to make. I have been performing for approval, even though I coach others on showing up confidently. It just goes to show you how deep the imposter syndrome goes. What I've noticed is that hiding has not kept me safe. It just kept me invisible. So, I want to talk about that and how imposter syndrome It doesn't come— it just doesn't come out of nowhere. It is built brick by brick in 5 different places: your home, like your childhood, like where you grew up, your peers, your work, community, and your education. So for the next 90 days, I would love if you would take a journey with me. So let's talk about the first brick or foundation of imposter syndrome. And that is your childhood and how you grew up. So I remember I used to get in trouble a lot because I'm very curious. So if an adult told me to do something or not do something, I would always ask why. Not because I was trying to be disrespectful, I just wanted to know, like, well, why? Well, the adults didn't like that because instead of learning to teach me how to effectively communicate, they thought that I was trying to challenge their authority, which I wasn't. I was just curious, so I asked the question why, and I would get in trouble, so I had to stay in my room a lot. And then staying in my room a lot, I read a lot. I began to learn about Dr. King, and one of his speeches, I Have a Dream speech, absolutely loved it. And so I memorized it and wanted to do it for a Black History program one year. I was 9 years old, and I remember going to my foster mom and saying, hey, you know, I wanna do this for the Black History program. She was like, ugh. And so I was like, and so, not looking at her face of disgust, I performed the piece. She told me to do it for the program. Standing ovation, all that good jazz. They would have me going around to different stages to perform long pieces. And I remember them calling me a prodigy child. I didn't know what that was. So when I was at, you know, on the stages and stuff performing, I would get all of these rave reviews, blah blah blah blah blah. Then I get home and she, my foster mom, be like, "Uh, I don't care how many people done clapped for you. You ain't no superstar. Get your butt in that room and stop talking." So that was one of the bricks of imposter syndrome, right? Because I view imposter syndrome like this: Here is who we think we are. Here is Who we think the world will accept. And in the middle there is the imposter syndrome. So the first brick of imposter syndrome was born out of when I— from here it is, I'm on the stage doing my thing, people are saying nice things about me. Here it is, I get home and she's literally contradicting, oh, you're not that. Imposter syndrome. Right? So the first brick of imposter syndrome was born. Now, another brick is your peers. This is where comparison happens. So anytime I would, you know, as an adult, I would go to networking events and stuff, I was often comparing myself like, oh my goodness, oh, look what she got on. Oh, maybe I don't measure up. Oh, maybe. And so the comparison, the other brick is born. Because now you see somebody where everybody seems to be talking to them. They seem to want them more, if you will, than you. So now you're like, well, maybe I'm not who I think I am. Remember, here's imposter syndrome, the gap. Then there's work. That's another brick. We have to fake confidence to survive because truth be told, most employers don't really want us to be our authentic self. I remember I was an executive assistant to a CEO. She was a brilliant woman that I admired, so I would often have conversations with her in her office about how to start a business and, you know, how to grow a business and stuff. She had this chief technical officer who hated my guts. I didn't know this at the time until One day I was in her office and he was like, why are you here? You're nothing. And I started crying uncontrollably, mostly because he said out loud what I was thinking in my head was that I'm nothing. Why is she talking to me? Like, how could I ever start a business? Maybe this is not for me. And so that imposter syndrome, syndrome was right there, the gap in the brick. I'm showing up at work. I'm thinking that I could start a business. I'm thinking that maybe I could do what she's doing. And then here he is, you're nothing. And so that imposter syndrome brick was laid again right on top of there. Another brick, if you will, is like community or your social circles. I, because I grew up in foster care, the woman that I lived with the longest, she sent me to private schools. And in private schools, I was the darkest thing in school. So that goes to show you what the school looked like, okay? And so now here it is, I'm a Black woman. However, I spent most of my time around people who didn't look like me. They were not Black. So now when I get into Black circles, I'm not Black enough for them, but I'm not anything other than Black. So now I've often felt like I just don't fit in. Right? Another brick in the imposter syndrome foolishness. And so the final brick, or foundation if you will, is education. I remember when I was in school, I did not learn the way the teachers were teaching, mostly because they were snooze-fests. However, I digress. And I was diagnosed with what would now be considered ADHD. So because of that, I just could not learn the way they were teaching despite me having the IQ of a genius. Okay, so all of these things are happening and I'm just like feeling lost and confused. I started making people laugh. I started disrupting the class and making people laugh, getting in trouble. So boom, would have parent-teacher conferences. Teachers would often say, oh, Tameka is so smart if she would only stop talking. So here it is again, me, who I thought I was, and then here it is, the teachers saying who I was not. In the middle, another layer of imposter syndrome. I have carried all of those bricks around with me for so many years. This is one of the reasons why I often talk about the leadership of Jesus, because Jesus knew who he was. He told you, I am the way, The truth and the life. This is who he, who he knew he was, right? And he showed up as such. However, it's very interesting. There's another scripture in the Bible where he asked his disciples, who do men say I am? I believe he did that for a reason, to show us that we know who we are, and then there will be people who are going to say who we're not. Jesus still said, no, this is who I am. And so I want to start showing up the way that God called me to be every day except on Sundays. You know, God rested on Sundays. So I will be showing up 90 days. I'll be doing short videos, one long video a week. No filters, no over-editing, just me practicing what I preach to you. If you are also tired of hiding, follow along. Be sure to like, share, subscribe. And if you want to go further and would like to work on your imposter syndrome, with additional support from me, feel free to book a call. The link will be in the description. Thanks so much for joining me. Let's do this together and see you next video.
