Tameka AndersonBehavior Coach | Creator of the THRIVE™ Framework & CALM Method™ at Cultivate Potential Strategies

I’m proud of you. #christian #christianmom #parenting

18 Aug 2026 · 2 min

Watch on YouTube

1:30

In this YouTube monologue, the speaker argues that the common parental phrase “I’m proud of you” can unintentionally foster approval dependency, diminish reliance on the Holy Spirit, and create conditional love in children. Citing Proverbs 29:25, Colossians 3:23, and Romans 8:15‑16, she explains how such praise links a child’s identity to external validation rather than their identity in Christ. She then offers three alternative ways to respond that shift credit back to God or encourage self‑reflection: (1) acknowledging partnership with God, (2) recognizing the Holy Spirit’s leading, and (3) asking the child how they feel about their actions. A personal anecdote about her teen praying for the Holy Spirit’s help with anxiety illustrates the desired outcome of this approach. The speaker frames this as part of a weekly series that breaks down related parenting topics from a Christian perspective.

Chapters

The Bible warns that saying, I'm proud of you, isn't as helpful as we think, and nobody is teaching what actually is. Proverbs 29:25 warns, the fear of man brings a snare. So what's the snare? Approval dependency. I'm proud of you teaches children to link success to your opinion, leaning on outward validation instead of trusting in their identity in Christ. Next, it lowers trust in the Holy Spirit's guidance. Colossians 3:23 says to work as unto the Lord, not unto men. When approval comes from you, children stop checking in with God about direction. Lastly, it breeds conditional feelings. If praise only shows up when there's achievement, children start to wonder if you'll still be proud of them when they fail. In Romans 8:15-16, God's love isn't conditional, and neither should ours be. So try saying this instead. You partnered with God and look what awesome things you've done together. Or I can tell you allowed the Holy Spirit to lead you there. Or simply ask, how do you feel about what you did? Each one moves the credit and identity back to God instead of parking it on our approval. When I started pointing my children back to God, my teen told me the other day that she prayed and asked the Holy Spirit to ease her anxiety so she can sleep. That's the goal of parenting. If this reframes something for you, follow along. I break down a piece of this every single week.