Tameka AndersonBehavior Coach | Creator of the THRIVE™ Framework & CALM Method™ at Cultivate Potential Strategies

Raising people pleasers. 🫣 #christianmom #peoplepleasing #christianshorts

21 Aug 2026 · 2 min

Watch on YouTube

2:00

In this short instructional video, the speaker argues that many Christian parents unintentionally raise "people pleasers" by teaching children to comply rather than to engage respectfully in disagreement. Citing James 1:19 and Ephesians 4:15, she outlines three biblical steps for teaching children how to disagree: (1) model listening first, being "swift to hear"; (2) encourage children to voice their disagreement honestly and respectfully, "speaking the truth in love"; and (3) respond to disagreements without punitive measures, maintaining decisions while allowing dialogue. She explains that treating disagreement as defiance breeds insecurity, whereas practicing respectful disagreement leads to a more honest and peaceful household. The video concludes with a call to action, inviting viewers to DM the word "reset" for personal guidance.

Chapters

The Bible explains why disagreement isn't disrespect. However, most Christian parents are raising people pleasers by teaching the opposite. James 1:19 says, "Let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath." There are three ways the Bible explains for us to teach our children how to disagree with us. The first step is teaching them to listen first by actually modeling it. Notice this says. Let everyone be swift to hear. We're not teaching our children how to comply. We're teaching them to listen for understanding by actually doing it first. Next, let them speak their disagreement out loud respectfully, however honestly. Ephesians 4:15 says, speaking the truth in love. It is not love if it demands Silence. And finally, respond to the disagreement without punishing it. You can still hold your decision. However, if every disagreement is treated like defiance, your child does not learn to disagree. They learn to comply, and compliance breeds insecurity. This is the reason why there are some, some well-seasoned saints Who still do not know how to practice the skill of disagreeing without being disagreeable. This is the reason why most people don't like church people. The Bible lays the model out simple. Listen well, speak truth, stay in love the whole way through. When I started modeling this and teaching my children how to disagree with me, not only did my house become more honest, It also became more peaceful. If you need this shift in your house, DM me the word reset and let's talk it through.