In this solo vlog, Fun Coach Tameka discusses covert narcissistic parenting, beginning with a biblical analogy from Genesis 3:1 to illustrate how subtle manipulation plants doubt. She shares a personal story about a woman pastor—later recognized as a covert narcissist—who questioned the paternity of her newborn, sowing doubt in her ex‑husband’s mind. Tameka then outlines the core traits of a covert narcissistic parent: manipulation, lack of empathy, gaslighting, and subtle abuse. She emphasizes the damage caused by parental dishonesty, urging parents to be transparent with children even when topics are uncomfortable, because trust is fragile and essential. She highlights a common tactic of covert narcissists: repeatedly asking children “Are you sure…?” which erodes the child’s self‑trust and identity, leading to behavioral symptoms such as anxiety, clinginess, angry outbursts, withdrawal, and suicidal ideation. Tameka connects these outcomes to intergenerational trauma, noting that children of covert narcissists may adopt similar maladaptive patterns. She advises seeking mental‑health support to break the cycle and prevent passing trauma to the next generation. The video ends with typical creator calls‑to‑action.
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Hey y'all, Fun Coach Tameka here, and welcome back to my channel. Today we will learn the effects of COVID narcissism in parenting, and it's gonna be a doozy, so let's get into it. Genesis 3:1 says, now the serpent was more subtle than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made, and he said unto the woman, yea, hath God said ye shall not eat of every tree of the garden? So this goes to show that the serpent was planting a seed of doubt in her mind. By asking a very ill-intent question. Are you sure you heard what you think you heard God say? I remember when I was married and the woman pastor, who I now know is a covert narcissist, came up to me one day. This was after I had had my youngest child and I had been out for 6 weeks. So this was my first day back with the baby. So she comes up to me and she looks at the baby And she looks at my husband at the time and says, oh, he does. She doesn't look anything like you. And because I was a people pleaser, I immediately jumped in the court of defense, and I started defending myself. And I said, oh, well, she looks like my mother right now. But if I was the healed version of myself, as I am today, if I would have said anything to her, I would have said, lady, she's a newborn. She doesn't even look like me. What do you want from me? So what she did. Was plant a seed of doubt in my ex-husband's mind about the paternity of the child. So when we were going through a divorce, it was not shocking to me that he requested paternity for our child. However, I'mma digress on that. So what are some traits of a covert narcissistic parent? Manipulation, lack of empathy, gaslighting, subtle abuse. These are some of the things, like little things that make your child. Doubt what they know is true. This is one of the reasons why I often tell my clients, do not lie to your children. If there's something you don't want them to know, tell them that. You can simply say, I do not want to discuss this with you right now. Of course they're going to ask you why. So then you explain why you don't want to discuss it with them. One of the things that I realized is that parents lie to their children because they are uncomfortable with the truth, not because they— their child cannot handle the truth. But it's better that you tell them the truth now than they find out the truth and now you have broken trust with them. Trust is very expensive, easy to break, very hard to build and rebuild. Be honest with your children. One of, one of the signs of a covert narcissistic parent is they're constantly asking this question in different ways of their child. Are you sure that's what you saw? Are you sure that's what you heard? Are you sure that's what you feel? So if you're doing any of these things, Please stop. Don't do it. What you're doing is you're chipping away at your child's sense of self. And when you chip away at a child's sense of self, the next thing to go is their identity. They don't know who they are. And when they don't know who they are, they're more susceptible to abuse from other people because you're programming them not to trust themselves. And if you, if you want to know what it looks like behaviorally, it looks like anxiety. It could be clinginess, angry outbursts, withdrawal. Suicidal ideation. That's what it looks like behaviorally. So sometimes when we have been raised by a narcissist, especially a covert narcissist, we take on some of the mannerisms because that's all we know. That's why— this is why I always say I'm not judging you. PTSD, parents trying to stop dysfunction. But it's very, very helpful to seek guidance from a mental health professional to help you through this. Because you don't want to pass this trauma onto your children and they keep passing it down from generation to generation. So that's what you're inheriting is trauma. Oh, this is what my mom gave me, trauma. Thank you. Now, how— this is what I'll give you, trauma. I don't want to do that to my children. So that's why I took the steps, even though they were hard, to say, yeah, it stops here. We're not doing that. Because trauma shows up behaviorally in unhealthy behaviors in a child. Hope this was helpful. Hit the like and subscribe button. Be sure to share this with a friend and drop a comment and let me know a topic you want me to discuss. See you next video.
