In this video, Fun Coach Tameka argues against corporal punishment, using the Bible as a parenting "instruction manual." She cites Proverbs 13:24, reinterpreting the rod as a metaphor for guidance rather than physical discipline. Tameka shares her personal transformation from a former spanking advocate—shaped by church teachings and her own childhood experiences of being beaten—to a believer that spanking teaches children to accept abuse as a sign of love. She explains how spanking creates confusion, normalizes violence, and can cause trauma, especially when children internalize the message that love requires tolerating harm. Tameka contrasts this with the shepherd‑rod metaphor, emphasizing gentle guidance to keep children safe. She proposes communication‑based discipline: explaining why a behavior is unwanted, teaching conflict‑resolution skills, and repairing relational ruptures. The video closes with a disclaimer that she isn’t judging viewers, a reminder of the channel’s mission to help parents stop dysfunction and PTSD, and a typical call to like, subscribe, and comment.
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Hey y'all, Fun Coach Tameka here. Today we're going to talk about why you shouldn't spank your child, and it's a topic that many are conflicted by. So let's get into it. Now I use the Bible as a reference in parenting because I hear parents say all the time, oh, I'm doing the best I can, and it's not like children have an instruction manual And I'm here to say absolutely they come with an instruction manual. It's the Bible. So although the part about I'm doing the best I can, that's incomplete— it's not incorrect, it's incomplete. I'm doing the best I can, and the instruction manual is the Bible, so I need to read it. Now you can choose to believe the Bible or not. However, don't say children do not come with an instruction manual. Because they do. So Proverbs 13:24 says, he that spareth his rod hateth his son, but he that loveth him chastiseth him betimes. All right, before I go any further, I must confess, back in the day when I read this after going to church and people telling, you know, the pastor's telling me, you know, you got to beat the kids, I was A huge advocate for spanking your children. That's because I ain't know no better, okay, y'all? The more I got in the presence of God, the more I started asking God to show me, to reveal to me what he means by his word. That's when things changed for me. So I just want to share with you, okay? Now, back in the day, shepherds used to herd their sheep. And they carried rods because you can't tell a sheep, hey man, don't go over there, come back over here, because they're not gonna listen. So they had the little rod and they would tap them to guide them along. So we know that the Bible speaks in metaphors. A rod is an example of a guide. Okay, so think of that every time you see rod as it relates to parenting. Guidance, right? We got it. And the shepherds would use a rod because they didn't want the sheep wandering off, because if they wandered off, they could get killed. That's the same way in parenting. You want to guide them because if they wander off, something terrible could happen to them. Now think about this: what does spanking do for your child? And another question: If spanking was effective, why do you have to keep doing it? Okay, those are the two things, two questions that I want you to kind of like ruminate over. I ask parents this question about what is spanking teaching them. Does it teach them that when they make a mistake, they're going to be hit? Then if they hit one of their peers. Because their peers made a mistake, is that okay? Because if they hit one of their peers, what do you say to them? Keep your hands to yourself, right? Don't hit. So now you have confused the child thoroughly and you have caused a rupture in the relationship. And remember, a rupture without repair causes trauma. Now, of course, I like to put my disclaimer in here. I'm not judging you. That is the reason why this channel is called Parents Trying to Stop Dysfunction, PTSD. Okay, that's what we're trying to do here. I remember when I was younger, I used to get my butt beat every day. You want to know why I used to get my butt beat? Because I asked the question why. I wanted to know when the adults told me to do something or not do something. My favorite question still to this day is why. It wasn't because I was being disrespectful. I want to learn. Please tell me why. Why shouldn't I do this? Why should I do that? So I used to get my butt beat every day. You know what they used to say to me when they would do that? Oh, if I didn't love you, I wouldn't be doing this. So guess what I internalized? I internalized that in order to accept love, you must also be willing to accept abuse. So I, I had friends and men in my life who were abusive towards me, not physically, But mentally, emotionally, financially, psychologically, just abusive because I thought that that's what love was. So this is one of the reasons why I always tell parents, don't spank your children. Because what are you teaching them? You're teaching them to tolerate abuse in the name of love. You're teaching them that it is okay to hit and be hit. Just so long as you say, if I ain't love you, I wouldn't do this. So instead of hitting, learn to communicate your message to your child in a way that lets them know, this is why I don't want you to do this. You are literally guiding them. So you're teaching them how to communicate when there's conflict. Hope this was helpful. Click the like and subscribe button and drop a comment below and let me know any annoying behaviors that you would like to learn to help your child stop doing. See you in the next video.
