In this solo YouTube monologue, Fun Coach Tamika interprets Matthew 10:34‑35 to argue that the "sword" of God’s word can divide households, framing parental estrangement as a potentially necessary act for spiritual and emotional health. She reads an open letter addressed to estranged parents, voicing the pain and rationale of adult children who have cut contact, and shares anonymized anecdotes illustrating feelings of control, shame, and the desire for autonomy. Tamika critiques controlling, authoritarian parenting styles, drawing on examples from ADHD parenting groups and school systems that prioritize compliance over individual well‑being. She urges current parents to advocate fiercely for their children, create safe spaces for honest dialogue, and change behavior to prevent future estrangement. The video blends personal commentary, religious interpretation, community advocacy, and a typical YouTube call‑to‑action (like, subscribe, comment).
Chapters
Hey y'all, Fun Coach Tamika here, and welcome back to my channel. Today we will discuss how parental estrangement has become an epidemic. Not really. So I've penned an open letter to estranged parents. Let's get into it. Before I begin, I must warn all the religious people out there, you will not like what Jesus had to say. However, y'all know me, I'm gonna say it anyway. Matthew 10:34-35 says, think not that I am come to send peace on earth, I came not to send peace, but a sword. For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. Y'all all right? My edges are in place. Woo! This text snatched all of them. Okay, so let me preface with this. When I first read this, it took me a couple hours. I had to sit, compose myself, think about that thing. Meditate on it, ask God to show me, what did I just read? 'Cause I don't know about y'all, but I was not ready for this. Okay, so if you were to read this chapter of Matthew, Jesus was pretty much telling the disciples, if you are telling people about God, some people will not receive you. A lot of the times, the people who know you the most won't receive you. So people in your city, stuff like that. So Jesus is kind of like telling people what to do when that happens. He's pretty much saying like, dust the dust off your feet, keep it moving, don't look back. So I can imagine the disciples' face. They was probably like, but Jesus, aren't we supposed to be here, you know, giving all of the peace and things? Then Jesus says, what? You thought I came to bring peace on the earth? Nah. He said, I came to bring the sword. And anytime you see sword in the Bible, that's referring to the word of God because the word of God pierces The heart, right? And it does divide. So that's what that's what he means when he says he came to bring the sword pretty much, and the sword is going to divide households. In the text, y'all. Why does the word of God divide people? Well, because of our adversary, the devil. Whether you believe he exists or not, the earth is his dominion. Myron Golden say, "Are y'all tracking?" And so verse thirty-five. Comes and Jesus is saying that because of the word of God, it will set children against their parents. So there will be a divide. And I don't know about you, but I had to go look up the word variance. And this is what it says: the state, quality, or fact of being variable, divergent, different, or anomalous. That's more of the simple version of it. We had to step away. We had to separate ourselves in order to practice healthy self-love. And healthy care for our souls. Digressing quickly, so I'mma give y'all a minute to marinate on this because it was a lot. Because I was toe up when I read this, like, man, what? Jesus did not come here to bring peace on earth. He came to bring the word of God. Oh, that makes so much sense now. And the word of God pierces hearts because it divides the light from the darkness. So as it relates to parental estrangement, this is what I got from the verse: The word of God will divide households because some will have the belief in how God set up relationships and how we're supposed to treat each other, and then there will be some who do not. I've listened to stories from estranged adult children from all over the world. I love to give voice to some of those stories, so I've penned an open letter to estranged parents, and here it goes. Dear estranged parent, so your adult child had to say goodbye. I can imagine the agony they feel. Do you have any idea how hard it is to mend your heart by Breaking it first. How many times we cry ourselves to sleep wondering why we're not good enough for you to well change? When birthdays and holidays roll around, we can't help but sit and wonder if you ever think about us. We're confident no contact is the right decision. However, there are certain moments that sting no matter how hard we try to prevent them. I wonder if you know how it feels to hold your breath waiting for the backlash of a decision that was right for your soul yet. Hard for your heart to handle. The first year is always the hardest because you want to hold on to hope that even though you've never been offered any. Someone went no contact and their parents continue to harass them. Every couple of months they send emails, call them, make new social media accounts, and just make their life difficult. To me, you're proving that you don't care about your adult child. You just care about controlling your adult child. Another one said their mom convinced them that they're incapable of making responsible decisions. So making this decision that was right for their soul, they were still afraid somehow they were screwing it up. How do I do this thing? Step out, stay away, and stand up against the person God entrusted to guide me back to him. Yet another one writes, I have this weird feeling. Although my family is crappy, I keep missing a holiday I never had. This is not the life we wanted. All we wanted was to feel wanted. And hey, I understand you cannot give something you don't possess. So after reading what Jesus said about it, We are and will continue to be unwilling to toe the line. You don't want a relationship. You want blind obedience, and that's not love. Love is the ability to say no. So we will continue to process in peace no matter how difficult and understand that if you estranged parents are unwilling to change, we will continue to be divided and you can continue to blame this on an epidemic. Sincerely, an estranged adult child. So I wanted to give voice to the estranged adult children community and the implications that we should be the ones to come in peace to the estranged parents. In the words of Jesus, nah. If Jesus didn't come to bring peace on the earth, maybe it's because he knew some people were unwilling to be peaceful. I'm in a couple of ADHD parenting groups on social media, and I must say it angers me because some Parents will post anonymously, probably because they don't want to face the shame and guilt of what they're saying and thinking and doing. One parent posted, "I'm lost. My 14-year-old daughter doesn't want to continue taking her meds because she say they make her feel weird, and I say she shouldn't take it. Then her psychiatrist scolded me. So what am I supposed to do?" I commented, "If my daughter told me she doesn't like the way a med." makes her feel, I would take her off of them. I would never take the word of anyone else over what my daughter is feeling. And of course, y'all know they came for my neck. It's aight. But my daughter knows she can come to me at any point, especially about adults who have authority over her, if and when she feels that they are oppressing her soul. I found that educators, much like estranged parents, Believe they have scientific knowledge of everyone's needs, so they justify ignoring the interests of an individual child. The school system has been at war with individuality. They formulate one big plan and force all students to comply, even if it does not serve the child to do so. And because our children are entrusted to these patronizing authoritarian adults, they internalize their struggle to comply. To mean that something is wrong with them, and as a parent, it's my job to teach my child not to internalize the struggle of complying with a bureaucratic system. So I advocate for her fiercely. This is another reason I believe adult children become estranged because they know they cannot trust that their parents would protect them from predatory adults. I sit and I see the parents that are in ADHD parenting groups, and I just shake my head because I know based off of their conversations. In about 10 years, they will be estranged parents if they do not change their behavior. So if you are a parent of a child 18 and under, please work on yourself. Advocate fiercely for your children. Allow them a safe space to talk to you freely about what they feel around other adults so that when they grow up, they don't feel the need to separate themselves from you as a way to protect themselves. Hope this was helpful. Click like and subscribe. Be sure to share with your friends and drop a comment below. Let me know what you want to discuss next. See you next video.
