In this spoken‑word monologue, the speaker reflects on how adults routinely suppress children’s voices and emotions, framing it as a cultural form of gaslighting. She describes the heavy cost of being gifted—constant jealousy from adults, an imposed guilt that morphs into shame, and the pressure to shrink herself to avoid envy. The talk distinguishes guilt (feeling you did something bad) from shame (feeling you are bad) and reveals how she internalized others’ shame, carrying it for years. She recounts choosing domineering partners as a projection of her fear of occupying space, and how a healing journey helped her recognize these patterns. Using the ocean as a metaphor, she declares a new stance: to be expansive, nurturing, and unapologetically herself, while holding space for children and others to shed fear and reclaim their brilliance.
Chapters
Why do adults tell children to dim their lights? No, they don't come out and say it like that. It's more of a look of disapproval when a child take flight. Oh my God, so disrespectful. When a child challenges something, you say, spare the rod, spoil the child. When a child makes a mistake during the day, and if they're bold enough, it's a direct comment about how the child is doing too much. Children should be seen and not heard was culture's way of gaslighting and such. Forced to suppress our emotions without connections, as if we're doing a bid. I'm convinced Most adults don't even like their kids. I've sabotaged a lot of opportunities in life due to the guilt of being gifted. God gave me these gifts, and you'd think the adults around me would have my spirits lifted. Instead, as a child, I was physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally exhausted. Being gifted comes at a hefty cost, is mostly jealousy. So subconsciously, I settle for your sympathy. See, I'd rather be so small that you pity me than to be bigger and feel the crushing weight of your envy. I cannot believe I shrink myself so much till it physically made me sick, all because you see me being gifted. You think I must be a dick. However, that's not me. I'm just somebody who uses every ounce of everything that God gave me. Wait a minute, why do I continue to explain myself? Why can't I just be free? Being gifted, you tend to carry guilt so heavy. It's not yours and it doesn't even make sense. However, if you're not careful, it will consume every ounce of your confidence. I learned something the other day that blew me away, and I'm not mad. Guilt says I did a bad thing, whereas Shame says, I am bad? So wait a minute, instead of feeling the guilt of gifted, maybe what I feel is the shame of shining. Shame because as a child, I was made to believe I had no right to be so bright. The adults would rather see me whining. Violence and coercion they used to stifle me. Labels and lies they spread upon me. My own mother couldn't tolerate the presence of me. So I carried other people's shame around for many years until I realized that it was birthed from their own fears. I put it down. It's not mine and I don't want it. It kept me small Long enough, but now it no longer fit. I dated men who only wanted to dominate and control me until I began my healing journey, and now I clearly see that I chose them because I was projecting, too afraid to be my own boss and take up my space in the world, my image I thought I was protecting. So now I'm here to hold space for children and those like me to ditch the fear, because see, I'm like the ocean. My love is powerful, nurturing, caring, and generous. And much like the ocean, most people who cannot swim become overwhelmed. However, the ocean never apologizes for being the ocean. It just continues to be, and those who can appreciate its magnitude gets to experience it. See, shrinking so that others feel comfortable around me was a story I just parted with. Back then, they thought I was doing too much. I'm just getting started.
