Tameka AndersonBehavior Coach | Creator of the THRIVE™ Framework & CALM Method™ at Cultivate Potential Strategies

How I Finally Found Safe, Supportive Friends. 🥰 #trauma #friendship

18 Apr 2025 · 1 min

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In this reflective monologue, the speaker shares a personal insight that the most effective way to find safe, supportive, and kind friends is to first become that kind of person oneself through deep inner healing. By doing the inner work, one naturally attracts like‑minded, healthy individuals while repelling unsafe or toxic people who are less likely to stay around a supportive presence. The speaker acknowledges that this dynamic can be uncomfortable because it involves consciously letting go of harmful relationships, but frames it as a necessary trade‑off. The core question posed to the audience is whether they are willing to become a safe, supportive person in order to draw in similarly safe and supportive friends.

Chapters

I remember always saying like, dang, how can I find good friends? How can I find friends who are supportive and safe and kind and want to be around me? Well, the easiest way to do that is to do the deep healing inner work on myself. Because once I became a safe and supportive person, people who are unsafe do not want to be around me. And I believe honestly, that's a reason why a lot of people don't do the inner work is because you will both attract and repel. And you have to be okay with repelling people. I'm okay repelling unsafe and toxic people. So ask yourself this question: are you willing to become a safe, supportive person so that you can attract safe and supportive people?