Tameka AndersonBehavior Coach | Creator of the THRIVE™ Framework & CALM Method™ at Cultivate Potential Strategies

just like that…🫣 #trauma #momlife #gentleparenting

2 Jul 2025 · 2 min

Watch on YouTube

2:00

In this video, caregiver Mimi narrates a real‑life interaction with her child that illustrates the gentle, trauma‑informed practice of "sitting with sadness." The story begins with Mimi asking her older daughter to observe changes in her younger child's emotional regulation, noting that the child is calmer and can recover from upset faster. The catalyst was an apology conversation: Mimi admitted she had spoken harshly when asking the child to close a door, apologized, and modeled how to own her feelings. The child accepted the apology and expressed interest in learning the "sitting with sadness" technique. Together they used paper and crayons to explore what makes the child sad—mispronounced names and peers touching his belongings without permission. Mimi framed sadness as a friendly visitor that wants a conversation, encouraging the child to draw the feeling and then discuss it. Through this process, the child learned to articulate emotions, accept apologies, and practice self‑regulation, reducing clinginess and outbursts. The narrative emphasizes that emotions are often treated like a hot potato, but by staying with them, caregivers and children can understand their purpose, prevent emotional buildup, and foster healthier relationships.

Chapters

I grabbed my oldest daughter and I asked, what did you notice different about baby this weekend? She said, he was a lot more calm and able to regulate his emotions faster. I nodded and said, yeah, I agree. What tool do you think helped the most? Without hesitation, she said, sitting with sadness. He was able to express himself in more creative ways instead of being clingy or lashing out. I said, and that's the magic of sitting with sadness because most people They treat emotions like hot potato instead of a traveling witness. They're always trying to toss out when the uncomfortable ones come their way instead of sitting with them to understand what they're here to say. It all started because I called him over one day and I said, I owe you an apology. He said, for what, Mimi? Then I said, when you said, Mimi, you don't have to be so rough when you tell me to close the door, you were correct. I was frustrated that day, and when I sat with my sadness, she helped me to see that I could have used a better tone with you. So I'm sorry. I'm sorry. He said, I accept your apology. Then I said, would you like to learn how to sit with sadness too? He said, yes. So we grabbed some paper and crayons and I asked, what makes you sad? He said, when my friends say my name wrong. And I asked, don't your friends know how to say your name? He said, yes, but they say it wrong on purpose and it makes me sad. I said, I understand. I would be sad too. I said, well, let's think of sadness as our best friend that wants to have a conversation with us. Draw out the story and once you're done, let's talk about it. Well, I don't know how to draw humans that well, but I can try. He began to draw for a little bit. Then he said, another thing that makes me sad is when people touch my stuff without permission, and I sometimes do that to you, Mimi, so I'm sorry. I said, I accept your apology. This is what Sitting with Sadness helps us do. She helps us to sort out our emotions so they don't come back harder and stronger with a whole group of other emotions.