In this reaction video, Tameka Anderson ("Fun Coach Tamika") shares her personal experience of being estranged from her biological mother for nearly seven years and uses the platform to discuss broader issues of parental estrangement within narcissistic family systems. She frames the estranged adult child as often the family scapegoat and argues that family dysfunction underlies many societal ills. Anderson critiques a second speaker’s video (an estranged parent) for displaying a lack of empathy, accountability, and communication, and for making unqualified diagnostic claims (narcissism, ADHD, autism). She emphasizes that parenting should be guided by the Bible, which she calls an "instruction manual" for children, and calls for parents to learn effective communication so reconciliation can occur. The video ends with a call for other estranged adult children to share their stories, aiming to raise awareness and foster dialogue.
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Hey PTSDers, Fun Coach Tamika here. I want to discuss something that is both very personal and very complex. However, there are tons of people that are struggling with this, and it is parental estrangement. I would love to be able to have a conversation about it and spread awareness about The narcissistic family unit. Okay, so why does estrangement happen? Narcissistic family unit. In a narcissistic family unit, everybody plays a part. More often than not, the child— the adult child who estranged themselves probably has played the part of the scapegoat. I know I am, so that is the reason why I estranged myself. I believe the root of all the evil that's happening in the world today is family dysfunction. Whether it's racism, wars, greed, pedophilia, narcissism, you name it, all types of evil, I believe comes from family dysfunction. I also believe I was born to eliminate family dysfunction. So here I am. Thanks for listening to me. Let's get started. I'm currently estranged from my biological mother and have been for almost 7 years now. I came across a profile that's very, very interesting. I want to discuss The points that she made. So I'm gonna share a brief clip about this video. Check it out and let's get into it.
A month ago, I released a heart-on-the-sleeve style of video explaining my experience as an estranged parent. I did want to address a few things that keep coming up. Before creating the next real video. Number 1, my narcissism diagnosis. I would like to thank all of the legions of armchair, I'm sure fully qualified therapists, who can watch a highly curated 16-minute video and come to that conclusion. And the other moms and dads out there, they know. Number 2, her ADHD autism diagnosis. There were some who seemed horrified that we outed or appeared to out her diagnosis. Being who we are, and you know, just remember this is the United States of America. You know, in the U.S., assuming we're legal citizens, We're all Americans, and we shouldn't forget that. Number 4, your assumptions. My dear EACs, a.k.a. Estranged Adult Children, named after the Reddit group that sent so many of you here, your assumptions that my husband and I engaged in zero introspection or take zero responsibility for this relationship Because we didn't choose to share all the details with the entire freaking internet? That is 100% faulty thinking.
Okay, so you can feel free to check out the whole 12-minute video yourself. However, I wanted to speak about what she said in the video and Why it's important to this video. The reason why I am estranged from my mother and other people that I know that are also estranged from their parents is for this very reason that this woman in the video displayed. There's a lack of empathy, there's a lack of accountability, a lack of care, and A lack of communication skills, and that's the problem, right? As a parent, it is our duty to guide our children through life in a way that pleases God. I hear estranged parents say all the time, well, I did the best I could. And so here's the problem with that. Although it is not incorrect It is incomplete. You did the best you could and you still hurt your children. That is the complete sentence, right? And so adult children like myself estrange ourselves from parents because of the lack of accountability, the lack of care, the lack of concern. It's just like, well, I did the best I could, you deal with it. And another, um, Another thing that I often hear from estranged parents is, it's not like children come with an instruction manual. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, they do. Yes, they do. It's the Bible, right? And if you say you don't believe in the Bible, then okay, that's fine. You don't have to believe in the Bible. However, don't say that children don't come with an instruction manual, because they do. And everything that I teach my family clients come from the Bible, the good book itself. Oh, as an estranged daughter, there's only one thing that I desire and one thing alone. What I desire is that my biological mother will learn how to effectively communicate so that we can sit down and have a conversation and heal. That is the only thing. And I'm quite sure others who are estranged from their parents feel the same way. So that's it. That's all. That's the post. Are you an estranged adult child? If so, drop a comment below. I would love to hear your story.
