Tameka AndersonBehavior Coach | Creator of the THRIVE™ Framework & CALM Method™ at Cultivate Potential Strategies

Resolving Conflicts in Relationships #selfimprovement #growth

10 Dec 2024 · 1 min

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In this self‑improvement monologue, a mother recounts a revealing conversation with her sophomore‑aged, popular teen daughter about the daughter's habit of treating relationships transactionally. The teen explains that her people‑pleasing began in middle school when she gave away snacks to gain acceptance, leading her to adopt unsafe, transactional patterns. The mother advises that instead of merely changing the outward behavior, the teen should address the underlying need to please others, work on personal growth, and resolve internal conflicts. By healing the root cause, the teen can transform how she engages in all future relationships.

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What my teen said about relationships shocked me, and it just might change your life too. Okay, so boom, my teen is a sophomore, super popular, super cute, super about that cheer squad life. We were talking and I said, baby, I noticed your relationships are very transactional. That's not healthy. Transactional people are unsafe people. Then she said something that blew me away. She said, Mom, it started when I was in middle school. I used to give away all my snacks because I wanted people to like me. I was people pleasing and I became transactional like the people I was trying to please. I'll work on that. But what I told her was, don't work on the behavior, work on your growth as a person. We are human beings, we do what we are. Get to the root of why you felt the need to people-please, resolve that conflict within yourself, and spill the results onto every relationship you meet.