Tameka AndersonBehavior Coach | Creator of the THRIVE™ Framework & CALM Method™ at Cultivate Potential Strategies

Some people love the idea of connection…until it requires emotional presence 💔#trauma #healing

11 Apr 2025 · 1 min

Watch on YouTube

1:18

In this brief spoken commentary, the speaker addresses how to identify safe and supportive individuals for close connections. They argue that people who avoid their own feelings are likely to avoid others' feelings, making emotional presence essential. The speaker outlines three distinct characteristics of a safe person: (1) Courage – the willingness to speak and live truthfully, even when uncomfortable; (2) Caring – the readiness to show up and help when opportunities arise; and (3) Consistency – the ability to prioritize and be reliably present over time. Listeners are prompted to evaluate whether the people they keep close embody these traits and to reflect on their own levels of courage, caring, and consistency.

Chapters

People who avoid their own feelings will probably avoid yours too. So I often hear people ask, well, how do you know how to choose the right people, supportive and safe people to be in close connection with, and the people who not to be? I want to talk about the safe and supportive people. What I've learned is that there are 3 distinct characteristics of a safe person. The first one is courageous. In order to be safe and supportive, you must be courageous because the truth requires courage, not only to tell someone the truth but to also live in truth. And then the second one is caring. A lot of people say that they care about you until it's actually time to show up for you. Caring means if and when there's an opportunity for me to show up for you, I do. And then finally, consistency. People can show up for you as long as doesn't require them to prioritize you consistently. So ask yourself this question: do the people that I hold close to me fit the mold of being courageous, caring, and consistent? And if not, where am I also lacking courageous, caring, and consistency in my life?