Tameka AndersonBehavior Coach | Creator of the THRIVE™ Framework & CALM Method™ at Cultivate Potential Strategies

Starting Over After a Breakup #selfimprovement #trauma

13 Dec 2024 · 1 min

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In this personal testimonial, the speaker recounts a deeply painful, toxic breakup that left them feeling like a failure, isolated from friends and family, and at rock bottom. In a moment of spiritual prompting, they used a feelings wheel to catalog over 36 emotions, leading to a pivotal insight: the core problem was not the breakup itself but a lack of self‑love. The speaker then describes a gradual self‑care practice—paying attention to personal needs, speaking kindly to themselves, and building a healthier internal relationship. This process culminates in a moment of joy when they finally see themselves in the mirror with genuine self‑appreciation, illustrating a transformative journey from trauma to self‑compassion.

Chapters

My last breakup almost broke me, but what saved me completely changed my life. Okay, so boom, my relationship was toxic, and when it ended, I felt like a failure, mostly because most of my relationships were toxic. My so-called friends turned against me. I didn't have family support, and I couldn't even face myself. One night, I hit rock bottom. I was completely overwhelmed with grief and sadness. Holy Spirit prompted me to pull out my feelings wheel and write down everything I was feeling. Over 36 emotions. Poured out onto the page. That's when it hit me. The breakup wasn't my problem. Me not loving myself well was my problem. So I started small. I began paying attention to myself, speaking kinder to myself, and eventually starting to like myself a little bit. One day I looked in the mirror and I was overwhelmed with joy because I had fought hard to have a healthy relationship with myself.