Tameka AndersonBehavior Coach | Creator of the THRIVE™ Framework & CALM Method™ at Cultivate Potential Strategies

The Difference Between Boundaries and Guards #boundaries #guarded #selflovepractices

25 May 2023 · 1 min

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0:59

In this short spoken piece, the presenter explains that the key distinction between a boundary and a guard lies in the direction of one’s focus. A boundary is an inward‑focused act of radical self‑love that shapes how you show up and behave, preserving relationships without drawing attention. A guard, by contrast, is an outward‑focused attempt to control another person’s actions, which can damage relationships. The speaker illustrates the concept with an example: limiting time with a loved one who leaves you feeling drained is a boundary—quiet, invisible, and self‑protective. Listeners are prompted to reflect on whether their own actions are boundaries or guards.

Chapters

Hey, so what's the difference between a boundary and a guard? Simple— the direction of your focus. If your focus is inward to show yourself radical self-love through how you show up and behave, that's a boundary. If your focus is trying to control the actions and behaviors of someone else, that's a guard. For example, boundaries preserve relationships; guards prevent them. If you say, "Hey, I noticed that this person that I love and care for is not doing their inner work, so I feel drained after being with them. So I'm going to kind of limit the time that I spend with them." That is a boundary, and it's invisible, and no one should know. So ask yourself a question: am I setting boundaries or guards?