In this personal‑development video, Fun Coach Tameka explains that pride is a covert emotional villain that enables manipulation, fuels trauma, and sabotages relationships. She begins by defining pride not as healthy confidence but as a wound‑driven mindset that blinds us to truth. Drawing on Hosea 4:6 and Proverbs 27:17, she argues that pride opens the door to manipulation because it feeds ego‑stroking and deceitful charm. Tameka then outlines three sneaky ways pride shows up: (1) the know‑it‑all syndrome, rooted in a lack of safety and leading to misinformation and control; (2) the blame‑and‑offense trap, where pride fuels finger‑pointing, perpetuates trauma, and keeps hurt circulating across generations; and (3) the “can’t‑ask‑for‑help” trap, where pride forces self‑reliance, attracts users/abusers, and blocks humility. She shares personal anecdotes of recovering from each pattern, cites biblical teachings on humility, and offers practical guidance: cultivate safe‑space communities, practice humility, and use journal prompts to surface pride. The video ends with a call‑to‑action for a free “Safe Spaces” virtual event and a teaser for the next video on pride vs. confidence.
Chapters
Manipulation only happens by way of— It imprisons our hearts. Or, I wish people would do for me like I did for them. PTSD. Hey y'all, Fun Coach Tameka here. Today we're going to identify a huge, sneaky emotional villain that's ruining your relationships, how to kick it to the curb, and how to stop suffering because of it. Stick around to the end and I'll share how to cultivate safe spaces so So you heal faster. Okay, so there's something that's so sneaky, something that sneaks into our lives like a ninja in the night. Like a ninja in the night. I know I'm being dramatic, but for real, this emotional villain really creeps upon us, and if we don't take a hold of it, it ruins our lives and the lives of those closest to us. That villain is pride, y'all. So let's talk about what pride is. Pride is not being proud of like your accomplishments and standing up for yourself. Pride is Result of a heart wound because it's a way of thinking and being that produces a less awesome version of ourselves. I don't know what fool said what you don't know won't hurt you, but that is not true. In Hosea 4:6 says, my people are destroyed for lack of knowledge, which leads me to my first question and point: How do we recognize this emotional villain? So God is very adamant about pride. Pride, in my opinion, is like a manipulative Manipulative form of confidence. It's not really confidence, but you know, if people are saying that they're confident, they're really not. It's manipulation. And the reason why God doesn't want us to be prideful is because when we actively engage in pride, it opens the door for us to be easily manipulated. Don't believe me? Okay, I'm gonna prove it to you. Think about the last time somebody manipulated you. Think about it. You got it in your brain? All right, cool. Now, what was it that that person said and/or did That stroked your ego. Because yes, manipulative people stroke your ego. Manipulation only happens by way of charm. This is why the Bible says that charm is deceitful. I remember when people used to call me charming, and I used to think it was a compliment until I dug deeper into what it really means to charm. And it is deceitful. It really is. So don't call me charming no more, okay? Okay. Charm is a main emotional weapon manipulators use to disarm you. So let's break down 3 sneaky ways that pride shows up in our lives. The know-it-all syndrome. When you know it all, can't nobody tell you nothing. This is the reason why God despises pride. I'm currently rereading this book It was so good, called The Bait of Satan. It's phenomenal, and it talks about how to stay sucker-free from offense. The reason it's so important is because when we hold on to offense, it imprisons our hearts, and every action we take in life comes from what is in our hearts. Confession time: I am a recovering know-it-all. I know y'all can't believe it, but it's true. Your girl used to be a know-it-all, okay? And the more I think about it, the reason I felt like I had to kind of know it all, if you will, is because I didn't feel safe trusting people with relaying information to me. Because when I was younger, the people who I depended on for information manipulated. This leads to my next question. Why is it so hard to let go of needing to be right all the darn time? And this is the blame game. Pride loves to point the fingers when things go wrong. It's easy to blame somebody else instead of looking in the mirror. I used to be late all the time and blame it on traffic when in reality I was lollygagging Pressing the snooze button and talking to my boo thang. You want to know if you're playing the blame game? Ask yourself this question: are you easily offended? Pride causes us to be easily offended, which is why we shift the blame. I remember I used to be caught up in offense and I would even tell people, oh, that's offensive. Oh, you offended me. When reality, what it was is I was just triggered. Like I had the right to tell people not to trigger me. I literally honestly cannot believe I was behaving that way. And that's another layer of trauma Trauma is holding on to offense. Trauma happens because someone was a slave to pride, and they do something to someone else to cause pain and inflict harm. So now this other person has been hurt. So they have two choices: hold on to the hurt or release it. When you hold on to the hurt, you perpetuate the cycle of trauma because if it's in you, you're spilling it onto everyone you come in contact with. This is how trauma passes down from generation. Generation to generation. And so now you're also a perpetual victim. Nothing is ever your fault, and the blame game is the name of the story. Which leads me to my final question and point: how do I break this cycle? It becomes harder because of the final point that I'm about to make, which is the can't ask for help trap. Oh, pride makes us think that we have to do everything ourselves. Because we feel weak if we ask for help. Like the time you tried to build that IKEA furniture and you said you ain't need them instructions and ended up with a wobbly chair. Or stop me if you heard this one. I ain't gonna find another me. Or people ain't got the same heart as me. Or I wish people would do for me like I did for them. That is pride. Because how dare you think that you're the only person in the world that treats people kind. But you are correct in that you're not going to find another you. And you are correct. The people in your circle won't do for you the way you do for them. Why? Because you're attracting people who only have capacity to use and abuse you. This is what pride does for us, okay? This is why it's so important to let pride go. When you drop pride, you invite humility, and you're able to ask for help. When you are walking in humility and are able to ask for help, you do not attract users and abusers. Why? Because when you're asking for something, users and abusers don't want to do nothing but use and abuse you. So humility invites asking for help. This is why the Bible says, ask and you shall receive. We suffer longer when we don't check our pride at the door. We need to cultivate safe spaces so that we can have someone else to help us check ourselves against the pride monster. Because pride is easy to fall into and hard to get out of. Because clearly these 3 reasons, right? It's hard for you to see the pride in yourself. Pride breeds in isolation. It only gets deeper, stronger, and faster when you don't have a safe space and community to lean on for support. Want to learn how to cultivate safe spaces for deeper relationships and support? I have a saying that healing happens faster in safe communities. Although I was in trauma therapy for years, it wasn't until I began to attend and cultivate safe spaces for me and my circle to come together and lean on each other was when my healing started to accelerate. To cultivate safe spaces, You must eliminate pride because safety cannot coexist with pride. When you're prideful, you become unsafe. So safe people will not want to be in close proximity to you. Proverbs 27:17 says, iron sharpeneth iron, so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend. We need others To help us not to fall into the trap of pride in order to be our best self. Journal prompt of the day: reflect on a time when you felt prideful. What happened and how did you feel? In the next video, we'll identify the difference between pride and confidence. But for now, if you'd like to attend a free Safe Spaces virtual event, be sure to click the link in the description. Like, share, and subscribe to receive notifications for my next video. Hope this was helpful, and I'll see you next video. Bye.
