In this solo vlog, Fun Coach Tamika discusses the lasting impact of childhood verbal abuse and offers concrete ways parents can avoid repeating the harm with their own children. She opens with a biblical principle from Ephesians 4:29 that speech should be edifying, and cites Dr. Ramani’s work on how verbal abuse leads to anxiety, depression, PTSD, and other mental‑health issues. Tamika shares her own experience of being severely verbally abused as a child, later diagnosed with major depressive disorder, and recounts a vivid family anecdote where her two‑year‑old son used profanity, prompting her to realize how parental language modeling shapes children. She explains that verbal abuse often appears subtle—yelling or harsh tones can be a form of assault—making it easy for parents to slip into harmful patterns. To break the cycle, she recommends practicing self‑awareness to recognize overwhelm, setting healthy boundaries, and using a deliberate pause (e.g., a “whoo!” cue) before reacting. By reducing swearing, staying mindful, and modeling respectful communication, parents can raise confident children. The video ends with a typical call‑to‑action for likes, comments, and subscriptions.
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Hey y'all, Fun Coach Tamika here, and welcome back to my channel. Today we will be discussing what verbal abuse did to you in your childhood and how you can prevent that from happening to your littles. Let's get into it. Ephesians 4:29 says, let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying That it may minister grace unto the hearers. Simply put, nothing should come out of our mouths unless it is edifying, building up others, especially our littles. One of the people that I follow, which I absolutely love her channel on learning about narcissistic family units, is Dr. Ramani. But she shares in this particular video how verbal abuse affects us in the long run. I know me, myself, I was severely verbally abused as a child, and I didn't even realize that that's what it was because it was just so normalized. One of the things she mentioned is that how some of the long-term effects are anxiety, depression, PTSD, and a host of other things. So I want to talk about that today. Remember, always disclaimer, this is PTSD Parents Trying to Stop Dysfunction. So that's why we're here. I remember when I was first diagnosed with depression as an adult, they started asking me questions about my childhood. And as I began to go back and request records from my childhood, lo and behold, I had been diagnosed with major depressive disorder as a child. Can you believe that? Can you believe the amount of trauma that I had to endure in order to be diagnosed as a child with a major depressive disorder. So anyway, I remember one time when my oldest children were younger. I laugh every time I think about this story because it's not funny, but it's funny now that I think of it. My youngest was 2 at the time and My oldest was six, and I heard her. I was in the kitchen doing something, and then I heard her saying, "Ooh, I'm gonna tell mom." And so I kind of like tiptoed to the door because I wanted to hear more in detail what was going on. And then my then two-year-old son said, "I'm gonna eff you up," but he actually said the word. And so my daughter said again, "Ooh, you said it again. I'm gonna go tell mom." And then he started. Pleading with her, no, no, no, don't tell mom, don't tell mom. So after I chuckled, I stormed in the room and I said, "Excuse me, why are you using language like that? That is so inappropriate." I remember God really convicted me because He began to show me, Tamika, weren't you just on the phone telling somebody you was gonna eff them up? Y'all, I this is what now you see why I say I ain't judging y'all. I am not judging y'all. I have no room to judge anyone. Even if I did, I wouldn't be judging. But anyway. Anyway, so God began to show me that I had to model the behavior that I wished to seek from my littles. That when I yelled, and although I didn't say those words to my children, I was still using the words around him. So this is why he picked it up. So needless to say, after that day, I was very diligent about not using swear words. Not just around them, but just not using them or minimizing my use until I was able to actually practice not using them at all. So I gave you an extreme definition of verbal abuse. However, the verbal abuses that are happening all over the world today is very subtle, very sneaky, doesn't look like what I just mentioned. And that's one of the reasons why unfortunately a lot of parents can get away with verbal abuse Because it's so sneaky and subtle. We've all been there. We got a million things on our plate, so when one of our littles do something, that's a million and one things sends us over the edge and we snap. We get the yelling. We may not curse, but even yelling, especially yelling, is a sneaky, subtle way of verbally Assaulting your child. So I wanted to say it that way for a reason, because if you picture that every time you yell, you are verbally assaulting your child. Yes, it's that serious. So some ways that I learned to stop doing this is, first of all, stop getting overwhelmed. I know that sounds easier said than done. However, once you start practicing self-awareness, You can feel when you have a lot on your plate and start learning how to take those things off, because it's not your child's fault that you overwhelm yourself. And at the end of the day, your child should not bear the brunt of your lack of boundaries. Okay, so practicing healthy boundaries, practicing self-awareness, and learning how not to get overwhelmed. Now sometimes it does happen because life. So when it that does happen, practicing the pause. So pausing as soon as you feel that bubbling up feeling, whoo! Pause. So like that's something that I would do. You heard me say, whoo! I will literally do that first to kind of mentally remind myself, hey, we gotta pause here. This has helped me tremendously breaking the cycle of verbal abuse and raising confident children. Hope this was helpful. If you found this video helpful, hit the like and subscribe button. Drop a comment below if you have any annoying behaviors or a subject you want me to talk about next. See you in the next video. Bye.
