In this personal narrative, a mother recounts a sleepless night when she discovered her teenage child expressing suicidal thoughts. Initially reacting defensively, she quickly shifts to a listening stance, asks open‑ended questions, and shares her own teenage suicide attempt to build empathy. She frames the experience through her Christian faith, describing God’s presence and the idea that "life is a team sport" where mutual support is essential. The mother introduces the concept of people‑pleasing as a search for validation, explains how journaling helped her find identity, and offers to hold her teen accountable for daily journaling and prayer. She apologizes for her initial fear‑based reaction and asks for another chance to be a supportive guide, embodying gentle parenting principles.
Chapters
I couldn't sleep one night, so I went to the kitchen to get a glass of water, and that's when I found my teen in distress. She said, Mama, I don't want to be here anymore. I found myself getting immediately defensive because, what you mean you don't want to be here anymore? And instead of asking that question, I blurted out, well, I don't know where else to send you. Without looking up, she said, that's not what I mean. Not that I don't want to be here in this house anymore, but I don't want to be here on earth. I found myself panicking, and I whispered, Holy Spirit, please help me. Then I said, what's going on? She said, everything. She said, I'm expected to be I want to be the leader in everything that I do at school and with my friends. And then I keep finding myself people pleasing and I'm tired. Then I asked her, why do you think you're people pleasing? And she said, because I'm seeking validation. And then I said, I understand. I used to people please as well when I didn't know who I was. Then I said, did I tell you that I also tried to end my life as a teenager? She said, no. I said, yeah, I did. But God is so awesome and he loves you so much that he wouldn't even allow me to sleep because he knew you were in distress. Isn't that amazing? She said, yeah. I said, And one thing that I learned is that life is a team sport. None of us making it out of here alive. So the best thing to do is to lock arms with your team so that you can live better. And then I said, God put something on inside of each one of us so that we all need each other. And my role in your life as your parent is your guide. And a guide simply means, hey, listen, I was on Fifth Avenue. There are a gang of potholes on that street. You might not want to drive down that road because it'll tear up your tires. The thing is, you still have a choice on whether or not you're going to ride down Fifth Avenue in order to Stop people pleasing. I had to learn who I was through God. So journaling helped me do that. Then she said, oh yeah, you know, I do know that journaling really, really helped me. So if you could please help keep me accountable, I want to journal and talk to God every single day. I said, absolutely. Then I said, also, I want to apologize for my initial reaction. I was afraid that I was being a bad parent. Will you give me another chance to show up for you?
