In this monologue, Fun Coach Tamika (the host of the PTSD Channel) explores the dynamics of narcissistic parents and the impact on their children. She opens with a biblical reference from Titus 1:15‑16 to frame narcissism as a moral and spiritual deficiency, then defines narcissists as "honest liars" who blend truth with deception, lack empathy, and enjoy harming others. Tamika shares personal experiences, noting that many of her past romantic relationships and friendships were with narcissists, and explains how her codependent tendencies attracted them. She describes a self‑awareness technique she uses—verbalizing thoughts aloud—to process interactions quickly, illustrating it with a confrontation where she called out gaslighting during a heated debate. The speaker then shifts to parenting, arguing that a narcissistic parent's wounded inner child battles the physical child, leading to manipulation, gaslighting, and unfair power dynamics. She outlines common child behaviors that signal abuse (withdrawal, outbursts, using food for comfort, over‑achievement) and emphasizes that society often fails to recognize this as abuse. Throughout, Tamika urges viewers to become aware, lean in when children act out, and stop blaming victims, concluding with a call to like, subscribe, and suggest future topics.
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Hey y'all, Fun Coach Tamika here, and welcome back to my channel. Today we would discuss narcissistic parents and the children they raise. Let's get into it. Titus 1:15-16 says, unto the pure all things are pure, but unto them that are defiled and unbelieving nothing is pure, but even their mind and conscience is defiled. They profess that they know God, but in works they deny him, being abominable and disobedient, and unto every good work reprobate. Listen, let me tell you something. When I was researching this and I was reading this, oh my God, I was like, oh, this is so good. Okay, so let me contain myself as we get into this. Simply put, narcissists are people who enjoy doing harm unto others because their mind and their conscience Is defiled. Let me go ahead on and put my disclaimer in here right now: not judging PTSD parents trying to stop dysfunction. That's why we're here. So, in my research, I often find that narcissistic people their heart is wounded severely. So I want to start there. This is why they lack empathy. They can manipulate look you in your eyeballs. Tell you a lie, gaslight you into thinking you did something that they actually did, and all the other horrible things that they do. I remember when I first started learning about narcissists, I realized that all of the relation romantic relationships that I had ever been in were narcissistic. Most of the friendships that I had, they were narcissists, and I had to even realize why. Were narcissists so attracted to me? And it was because I was codependent. Okay, I'm just saying codependent. So I needed them to need me, and they needed to need somebody. Talk about a match made in hell! So because I'm a verbal processor, meaning I like to say things out loud in order to process them, I decided. In my practice of self-awareness that anytime I ran across a narcissist or I felt someone may have narcissistic tendencies, I would say certain things out loud. I would say what I was thinking and feeling out loud, which forced me to process it faster, because that's how it works with narcissists. You have to move very fast because they do. So I remember one day I was dating this guy and we were in the middle of a heated debate. He was telling me that he did not want me to bring to his attention when he said something that was incorrect. So I said, when you tell me you don't want me to mention that what you said was incorrect, that sounds like gaslighting to me. The moment, the very second I said that out loud, I stopped. I don't even know if he noticed this, but there was a shift in my entire body and I stopped like I was a deer in headlights. Seriously. The next thing he said confirmed what I was already thinking. He said, I am not going to be able to continue doing this with you if you keep this up. Now let me pause and preface really quick. Narcissists are what I consider honest liars. So how can somebody be an honest liar? Easily. They put part of the truth in with a lie. So when he said, I am not going to be able to continue doing this with you if you keep this up, in a codependent's mind, that's him saying don't challenge him anymore. Stop doing that. You're going to push him away. He's no longer going to want to come around. But in my more self-awareness, I said, if he stopped coming around, if I push him away, I'm doing my job. Because if you're telling me, which he was very correct when he said this, he was honest by saying, I'm not going to be able to continue doing this with you. Doing what? Oh, you don't want me to keep you accountable. So if I kept holding him accountable, holding the mirror up in his face, he told me he was going to leave. Well, guess what? He didn't have to. I said, I'm out. But that's something that you need to understand about narcissists. They are honest liars. They mix the truth with a whole bunch of lies. So therefore you cannot dispute that there is truth in it. That's how they get you. So now, as a parent, when you're narcissistic, your inner child— because that's where the wound is— your inner child is literally antagonizing your physical child. You lie, manipulate, gaslight, and all these other terrible things that you do to your child, which is unfair because your child cannot fight you. So it's an unfair fight, which narcissists love unfair fights. Remember that they love unfair fights. They will always choose people who are easily manipulated. So the way that your child fights you back is through their behavior. They may be silent and withdrawn. They may yell. They may have angry outbursts. They may use food as comfort. They may even get good grades and hope that the abuse will stop, but the signs will be there. And unfortunately, in all of my years of working with children, I've seen Many a child who were in a narcissistic family home, and the unfortunate part is that it's very difficult for others to accept that this is actual abuse going on. Never fear though, that's why PTSD Channel is here, okay? I am here to expose what's going on in the dark so that more people can become aware and bring it to light. This is why I always say when you see a child acting out Lean in because something is going on and it is with the parent. Remember, as a parent, your inner child is warring with your physical child. So those are the two that are in combat. Well, a child who's acting out, it is always because there's an unfair advantage going on. Something's going on between that physical child and the inner child of the parent. And we as society have to stop blaming children for their own abuse. Hope this was helpful. Click like and subscribe. Be sure to share this with a friend. Drop a comment. Let me know the next topic you want me to discuss, and I'll see you next video.
