Episode 52: “Stuck on Stupid, Rewriting History, and Still Lying to Yourself”

Imagine turning the maze of procurement into a clear path. This September on The Trigger and the Truth, Money Moves is all about helping small businesses navigate government, state, and city contracts. Tina White built The Contract Code, a roadmap for bidding with confidence. It demystifies the process, fits your budget, respects your sanity, and guides you to do more with less stress. Keep listening. Your perspective on business is about to change.

Welcome to the Trigger and the Truth Podcast. I'm your host, Tina White, and this is the space where we take a deep dive into the complexities of relationships, romantic, family, friendships, workplace dynamics, and of course, entrepreneurship, and how they intertwine with our mental health and wellness. As a dedicated mental health advocate, we don't just have conversations. We lean into the hard truths, peel back the layers, and journey together toward understanding, closure, and personal growth. More than ever, we're on a collective mission to find peace, Clarity and healing. This is your safe space to explore the moments that shaped you, discover your triggers, uncover the truths, and find the healing you deserve. So whether you're searching for solace, insight, or a fresh perspective, you're in the right place. If this is your first time tuning in, welcome to the conversation. I'd love for you to like, share, and pass this along to someone who might need some encouragement or insight. Now let's dive into today's episode and start this journey into self-discovery and wellness together.

Welcome back to a special bonus drop of The Trigger and the Truth. I'm your host Tina White, and listen, this episode wasn't even scheduled, but I had time today. We've been talking about money moves all September because whether it's business business, personal relationships, or legacy building, one thing's for sure: if your mental wellness isn't aligned with your financial goals, you'll either fumble the bag or block the blessing every single time. Trust me on this, I've been on both sides of this topic, having access to monies and mentally drained, or continuing to find myself in the same situation with different people. I had to start to look at myself and what I was doing to contribute to these conditions, but we can chat about that later. Right now, this is a quick word for the people who need to hear it: energy is expensive, so budget accordingly. Now listen, if you're a loyal listener, you probably noticed I didn't release the regular Wednesday episode. That's not by accident. I'm juggling a lot behind the scenes right now, writing proposals, closing out Q3 business, and working night and day building the contract code, which is going to change game for small business owners in New York and beyond. I can't say too much right now, but just know it's cooking and it's coming. But let's talk real quick because September is Money Moves Month here at the show. But what's money without mindfulness? What's success if your spirit ain't right? And what's the bag worth if you fumbled the person who would have held you down through it all? Because let me tell you something, these past few weeks I've been deep in my zone, building the contract code, writing proposals, handling business, and mapping out what's next. And wouldn't you know it, out of nowhere comes the ghosts of seasons past. Lately, I don't know what's in the air, but people from my past— friends, exes, even quote-unquote family members— have been popping back up like clockwork. Texts, calls, DMs, long paragraphs that I didn't ask for. And for the longest, I ignored it. But today I had time. And what I saw? Delusion, denial, and a whole lot of misplaced nostalgia. What I read was heartbreaking. Not because I missed them, not because I wanted anything back, but because I saw clearly just how stuck some people really are. Stuck in delusion. Stuck in denial, still lying to themselves, still trying to rewrite history like I wasn't there living it with them. One of these people wrote me what felt like a dissertation, and after I read it all, I sat back like, wow, this person is still in the exact same loop they were in years ago. Nothing has changed. No growth, just regret and fiction. Another message came from a relative who flat out refuses to take accountability for the chaos they created. And it hit me— some people can't evolve because they won't be honest. Not with you, not with themselves, and not with God. But here's the part that matters. I know how I treated these people. I know I gave grace. I considered their feelings. I didn't lie on them. I didn't retaliate. And now that they have no access to me, they're feeling the void. So let's talk about it. Bottom line is that I am aware that I am one of one, and you should know and feel that way too. I don't say this from a place of ego. I say it from experience and spiritual understanding. Some people are one of one. You cannot mishandle people and expect access later. You cannot discard somebody who was there for you. Only to double back when you realize what you lost. You cannot keep treating people like they are replaceable and then expect them to be on standby. Some of us are the chosen ones, not because we are better, but because we were built differently. We carry something divine. We were given an assignment. And if you're listening to this and that resonates, you might be the one in your circle too. But if this offends seek therapy and ask God to show you your assignment. It's simple as that. Just ask and trust God. And if you don't believe, I'm not sure why you're here listening to my show, because around here we believe in God. See, I'm not perfect. I got my flaws, my fire, and my fuse. But what I don't do is abuse the people I love. What I don't do is sabotage the ones sent to help me. And if I ever hurt someone unintentionally, I own it. I learn. I evolve.

To tell the truth. Let's unpack a heavy bag that's been bursting at the seams. We owe it to ourselves to hold ourselves accountable, owning our part in the breakdown of a relationship. One of us might be a narcissist, or maybe both of us. Are you willing to tell the truth about your role? Did you burn sage only to pass out from the fumes? Are you perhaps the root cause of the problem? I'll go first. If I'm being honest, I can be problematic when my buttons are pushed or when I feel my boundaries have been crossed. God is still working on me, and that's why we're here. I'm taking this journey with you because I need healing just as much as anyone else. I've had to confront my own tendencies. I've realized that in conflict, I almost always become an avoidant. I shut down, walk away, and don't look back. That's not healthy. So, here's the question: Can you face yourself and admit to your part? The first step toward healing is honesty.

The problem is that some people don't evolve, and they think you'll still be there when they're ready. People from your past can't seem to grasp the fact that you're no longer the same person you were when you guys were growing up. Nor are you the same person from high school or even from 5 years ago. And if you are, that's a whole other story. Go talk to the lady if you have not evolved. But let me be clear, I'm not waiting for you to grow up. I'm building, I'm healing, and I'm gone. And if you didn't value me when I was in your life, your regret is your karma. I don't say that to be cold. I say that because it's true. Some of y'all have people from your past trying to reconnect But when you step back and really observe, they're not trying to fix anything. They're not sorry. They're just nostalgic for the version of you they could mistreat. One person wrote me paragraph after paragraph, and I actually sat and read them, not because I needed closure, but because I needed clarity. And what I realized was this person is stuck, not just emotionally, but spiritually stuck. "Living in a loop of lies, deflection, and denial." Another person, a family member, took it a step further, injecting fiction into their narrative. "Still not taking accountability, still running from the truth. And here's what I know now: some people are so disconnected from reality, they'll rewrite history to keep playing the victim." Are you a therapist, coach, or mental health advocate looking for new ways to serve your community? What if you could bring them research-backed tools to help manage anxiety, improve sleep, and boost focus? As an official Mind Alive ambassador, I can tell you this isn't just about a product. It's about a movement. I've seen the explosive growth of the Trigger and the Truth podcast. Over 285,000 streams in under 90 days. Proof that people are eager for authentic solutions. Imagine what introducing Mind Alive could mean for your audience. Mind Alive is opening the door for more voices to join as ambassadors. If you're ready to align with a trusted brand and bring powerful wellness tools to your community, click the link in the show notes to apply. Together, we can change how people access mental health support. I don't bring this up for gossip or drama. I bring all this up because there's someone out there listening to this episode who's currently mishandling their blessing. You're taking someone for granted who shows up for you. You're playing games with someone who has nothing but love and loyalty for you. You're letting ego or fear or childhood wounds fumble your peace. And I'm telling you now, if you keep mistreating people, don't be surprised when you can't access that energy anymore. When my dad was alive, even though we didn't have a long time together, he made sure I knew one thing: Never accept less than you deserve, and don't let anyone water down who you are. He used slightly different language, but if you know, you know. So I live by that. And if you ever feel my absence, just know you earned it. If you love somebody, treat them accordingly. If you know someone is special, cherish that energy. Because some of us are not replaceable, some of us are one of one. And when you lose that, you have to learn to live without it. And if you're the one who's always loving right, always showing up, always being the solid one, listen to me, you are not crazy, you're just rare. I bring this up because I want you to understand something. When someone no longer has access to your energy, your elevation will always expose their regret. The Cost of Mistreating the Chosen. Let me say this clearly, and with love. Everybody is not replaceable. Some of us are one of one. And I say that not from arrogance, but from clarity. From experience, from survival. My whole life I've known what it feels like to be set apart. To be misunderstood, to be the one who pours into others but doesn't always get poured forward back into. But let me tell you, I believe that God has shown me my assignment. The short time I had with my father, may he rest in peace, taught me how to recognize love. Real love. Gentle love. Accountable love. He taught me how to carry myself and what not to accept. So when someone crosses the line one too many times, when the lies stack up and the disrespect becomes the norm, That's when I burned the bridge and never walked back across it. And for those listening, stop giving people redos after they've burned you. Stop inviting manipulation back into your space because "you missed the good times." If they were really that good, you wouldn't be here now, having this conversation with yourself. You only get one of one, and if you fumble, that you will feel it forever. The future is cooking and it's called The Contract Code. Now listen, while the locals are stuck in regret, denial, and delusion, I'm over here building the blueprint. I didn't drop an episode this past Wednesday because I'm working, working on something that's gonna upgrade life as we know it. I can't say too much right now, but The Contract Code trademark is cooking. And if you're in NYC and you're a business owner who's been wanting to tap into city and public contracts but didn't know where to start, let's just say your time is coming. The Trigger and the Truth now has a dedicated call-in hotline, and I want you to use it. Whether you'd like to become a guest on the show, you have a sponsorship inquiry, or maybe you just need a safe space to vent, we got you. Call us at 715-702-8777.

8-8-4-5.

And if you're in need of support, we also have access to several local and national mental health resources we can connect you with. Your voice matters. Your story matters. And now you got a direct line to share it. Call today, 715-702-8845. The Contract Code is a platform I've built from the beautiful mind that God gave me that I acknowledge now, and I am grateful for. I'm no longer playing small or hiding in plain sight. And in my solitude and out of frustration, I kept playing with the idea. Then I wrote down the ideas. Then I wrote down what I believe is missing. Then I wrote down what we would need to be more productive, because I saw too many contracts go unanswered, too many businesses left out, and too much knowledge being gatekept, including my own business for a very long time. But not anymore, clearly. Time will tell. But trust me, this will change the game. And while the ghosts of the past keep knocking, I'm building a future that can't be undone. Don't miss your one of one. I told y'all I'd keep it brief, and you know I can't help but to go off on a tangent, but let me leave you with this. We are in a season where everything counts. How you treat people, how you move, how you show up. Don't let your pride be the reason you miss out on your promise. And while I've been quiet this week, just know It's because I'm building something that's going to change lives. The Contract Code is coming, focused right here on NYC, where so many contracts are left on the table just because people didn't know what they didn't know. But I created something that will fix that. Until then, get your energy right, get your house in order, and treat the people around you like you Understand what they bring to your life, because once that access is gone, you'll only have memories and missed calls. Sometimes we only get one shot to get it right with someone who's sent to shift our life. Don't miss your one of one. And if you've already burned that bridge, let that be your lesson and let karma do what it does best. This has been The Trigger and the Truth. I'm Tina White, and just know We're not done. The contract code is coming, and when it drops, you'll wish you had stayed ready.

Thank you so much for spending time with me today on The Trigger and the Truth. Remember, it's all about uncovering those triggers, finding the truth, and building stronger, healthier relationships for ourselves and with the people around us. If today's episode resonated with you, I'd love it if you'd like, share, and send it to someone who might benefit. Together, we're making mental health and wellness a priority. And always remember, never let your emotions supersede your intelligence. Take care of yourself, be kind to your mind, and until next time, let's keep uncovering Truths, one heartfelt conversation at a time.

Imagine turning the maze of procurement into a clear path. This September on The Trigger and the Truth, Money Moves is all about helping small businesses navigate government, state, and city contracts. Tina White built The Contract Code, a roadmap for bidding with confidence. It demystifies the process, fits your budget, respects your sanity, and guides you to do more with less stress. Keep listening, your perspective on business is about to change.