Tony Stark Policci describes a night of anxiety on Day 11 of his 90-day challenge, then how he reset by grounding himself in morning sun and grass, texting friends for support. He argues that setbacks expose what's broken and become fertilizer for growth if you choose it.
Chapters
Okay, here we are, day 11, and somewhere after 7 PM last night, I felt like I took a giant step backwards. The old habit of worrying about getting things done popped up because I didn't accomplish what I had hoped to accomplish yesterday. So last night I started dreading the day ahead. I had anxiousness, it was all over me. You know, the voice of the critic started back in on me. And I forgot that I have the ability to silence him. So that state of mind and emotion was on me while I tried to sleep last night and well into this morning actually. So I've said it before, anxiousness equals fear, right? So this morning I had to face it. I needed to retake the ground that I gave up yesterday. I was not going to get stuck. So I started with the morning sun, stood barefoot in the grass, drank a cup of supplements, and talked to myself, you know, what are you thinking about? What are you feeling? What is true about you? What do you stand for? Remember who you are. Remember whose you are. I love these kids running by. Anyway, the shift came about 30 minutes later between exchanging texts with a handful of people. Some of them were random. Some of them, you know, people sending me encouragement just randomly. Some people randomly asking for encouragement. It was kind of interesting. But You know, getting out of self is essential for breakthroughs, right? Have you ever noticed that the biggest breakthroughs in life usually come after something breaks? You know, we don't grow when we're comfortable, right? We grow when life throws a wrench in the plan. When something falls apart. When we get hit with something we didn't see coming. And, you know, you have no choice to either face it— well, I guess you have a choice, you can just ignore it, but I don't know. I mean, what was it for you? Was it the loss of someone you love? Maybe a relationship ending? Something that ripped a hole in your chest? You know, maybe it was something traumatic that left you feeling out of sorts or lost. You know, whatever it was, something that woke you up. Now, I don't say this lightly. I mean, I lived that story more than once. I'm sure if you've been around this planet for any while, you have too, any length of time. But here's the truth. I'm living on day 11 in this 90-day stretch, and pain is a powerful teacher. It shows us the parts of our lives that aren't working, and it can push us to confront what we've ignored. For me, it demands change. I mean, not everything in life needs fixing, right? But the parts that don't work, parts that frustrate me, drain me, or quietly break my spirit, that's where the gold is. So I'm willing to dig through the dirt to get to it. And you know, I think there's a shift to encouragement there. Sometimes that dirt smells like manure, right? I mean, but I guess what do you use manure for? Fertilizer, right? And that's exactly what some of that dirt is. I guess we can use it to grow, to grow something, to grow something beautiful, or stand in it and complain about how it stinks and just stay stuck. It really is a choice. So today I'm choosing growth, not because it's easy, but because staying stuck feels worse. And you know, you don't have to be in a terrible situation to feel stuck. I mean, if something in your life is breaking, maybe it's not the end. Maybe it's the beginning. So let me know what you're sitting with today. Big deal, little deal, anything, whatever isn't working in life, and let me know what you're ready to shift. You don't have to post it publicly. You can DM me if that's easier. But bottom line, don't hold it in. Thanks for being here. Talk soon.
